Apr 13, 2007 22:08
Exactly 2 weeks after the passing of my beloved cat Socks, my even more beloved Great Grandfather has passed away.
His health had been declining the past few weeks, and by Easter he was in the hospital with failing kidneys, failing heart, and poor lung health. I visited him after the family get-together that day, but he was in and out of sleep most of the time. I barely got to see him before visiting hours were over. On that day, his kidneys and lungs were doing better, but his heart was still weakening. Over the next few days he began to talk nonsense...something about needing to do work, cut down some tree...and asking for his tape measure. You see, my great grandfather was always working on something. He loved to hunt and fish, going out to do so many times a year. Whenever he wasn't doing those, he was in his enormous garage full of every tool, nut, and bolt imaginable...always building something. He'd been a carpenter all his life. On Thursday, after having an exceptionally good day, I came home to my cell phone (which I had accidentally left behind when I left for work) with a message from my mom asking me to call or come over. I knew instantly.When we spoke, she told me that my great grandfather had passed away earlier that morning.
I cried...a lot. I've now lost my voice. He really meant a lot to me...he was the only male figure in my life. My father was never around (divorced at age 3 or something, moved to Alaska soon after), my grandma and grandpa got divorced when I was tiny, so I rarely saw my grandfather...and then he passed away when I was fairly young. My grandma was an only child, and she had 4 girls (my mom and aunts). It was a family full of women, and perhaps that's why I latched onto my Great Grandfather so much as a child. I loved to hang out with him in his workshop, play in his hunting campers and fishing boats...my favorite smell still remains sawdust. He and his hunting dogs were my buddies. After my fill of play, I'd come back inside for some of my great grandma's cookies or other goodies...she passed away in March of 2005.
At least they are together now...they had been married for something like 70 years! I'm also glad that my great grandfather didn't slowly deteriorate. He hated hospitals and was too proud to even get a hearing aid (as hard of hearing as he obviously was!), let alone use a walker or wheelchair if he had gained the need. He also loved working with his hands, which he could barely use near the end, they were so shaky. It must have been torture for him. My mother said that one day he said he wished he had some poison to take. Among the times he has been in the hospital, including this time, he's kicked nurses and even thrown his walker at one and walked out, because he wanted to leave the hospital >_< He was a very proud person, heh. We almost wished he had died hunting, or doing something else that he loved, so that he never had to live like that. He wasn't like that for long...he was fine one week and gone the next. Actually, he was going to be released in 2 days, but only into a nursing home. He wasn't told about it, but I know he never would have gone...it's better he never had too. He would get so frustrated not being able to do everything himself; he hates needing help.
Now there's another matter though...his dog Snoopy. Great Grandpa always had a hunting dog. When I was tiny it was Bonnie the black lab. After she passed, it was Holly, another black lab. When Holly passed, they didn't get another dog, because g. grandpa had to focus on g. grandma's declining health and wasn't sure he could really take care of one. When Great Grandma passed, mere days afterwards, a black lab named Snoopy appeared in the newspaper, desperately needing a home. It seemed like a sign, so Snoopy became Great Grandpa's. Snoopy followed him EVERYWHERE and looked after him also. One time, g. grandpa fell asleep in the bathtub, and Snoopy was the one who came and woke him up before hypothermia set in. We all kind of felt that he was sent by g. grandma, or that she was watching over him through Snoopy's eyes. While g. grandpa was in the hospital, Snoopy became very anxious and even tried to escape from the yard in oder to get back to him.
Now, Snoopy is homeless. He's been staying with my aunt, but she already has one dog, two kids, as well as MS (multiple sclerosis), and barely enough income to take care of it all. I would love for my mom to take Snoopy...ever since Socks died we've wondered about getting a dog. The thing is, Snoopy is a people dog, spending much time indoors. He shadows people around and never sleeps alone. My mom would need to keep him primarily in the back yard, and feels that if he has a chance at a home where he can be around a family all the time, he'd be happier than alone in the back yard. I really want to keep him in the family though. I also think it's something of a sign that we could not have a dog due to Socks...and a mere 2 weeks after Socks died, Snoopy needed a home. I'd like to think that maybe Socks' death had a purpose.
I want to move out and take Snoopy with me. Amado and I have both recently applied to some quite high-paying jobs that we might have a chance at getting. If even one of us does, we could definitely afford a place that allows dogs and take Snoopy with us. If my aunt or my mom can just keep him for a while...I can take him to work with me during the day for free if needed. Also, my grandma may move into my great grandparent's now-vacant house, in which case she might keep him there. I hope with all my heart that somehow we can keep Snoopy around us, and therefore, also a piece of my near and dear great grandparents.
Rest in peace Great Grandpa, I love you so much and will always keep you in my heart.