'In the Life of a Weasel'
Ye know, the song oddly fits. Right now, given what is going on around me, I am quite literally crawling in the dark. Whether I will find the anwsers I seek or not I don't know. I have been surrounded by darkness all my life, and it is my own fault that the one beam of light that I had to help me, and make me feel calm, is gone. I just hope things work out for her. She deserves it. Anyway, off that subject. I have come here to quell some of your fears in my earlier post. Yes, I plan to disappear, however, a select few will know where I can be found. I do this because it is in my best interests, and the best interests of others. I just want you few people to know that I thank you for being there for me and being able to deal with me as I struggle. Maybe one day I will no longer have to fight, and I can smile without forcing it. Mayhaps.....I will even cry again. I am worried about myself honestly, especially with everything going through my head. I question everything around me. Such as now, I mean, the people who once said they loved me and give me shelter seemingly don't even say so much as "Good Morning" or "Good Night". I feel like alienated almost, unwelcome perhaps. I guess that is one reason why I want to get that job so bad, so I can get out of here as soon as possible. I will reimburse them for everything they have done for me, it is the least I can do to show my appreciation for showing me what it meant to have a real family for a while. I've already decided that after I get my car fixed and my ticket paid that the first $1,000 that I make is going to them. A lot of money but they have done so much for me. I almost feel like that isn't enough. So much to do, so little time. Well, I gotta go get ready for church. Until next time on, 'In the Life of a Weasel' ja ne.