"I rubbed my eyes, and they felt sandy as though all the fluid had suddenly dried." - Ellison

[kuriku]

You are not at fault. You were simply trying to be someone you're not. You are not an overachiever, and you do not even want to be one. You wanted to please other people. You wanted them to like you, to respect you, to feel your worth--But you are not like them. You do not want what they have. You do not want to study so hard, work long hours, attend all your classes on time, be organized, or socially correct and able. In fact, you want to do as little of all of those as possible, which is why you are not an overachiever. You do not study more than you have to. You do not work more than you must. You attend the bare minimum of classes, and you do not mingle or join the facade unless you benefit immediately. You do not have the ambition it takes. And why should you?

You have been fooling yourself and it has finally dawned on you. You do not care enough. You only try because no one cares more. You are an opportunist. And rather than taking it as criticism you should accept who you are. Change is hard. Your attempts are feeble. Are you not tired of playing Sisyphus?

Forgive thyself.