"Marriage has no power to permanently fill any emotional or spiritual gaps in your life."

May 29, 2009 15:11

Batting Eyelashes? The Fling? Never heard of them?
Don't blame you. But honestly I thought their music was pretty good and I know the low-budget movie was well-made because I cried twice even before the characters themselves started crying (when I'm immersed in something I evidently have a hard time blocking emotions from being reflected in me so I tend to be empathetic to the surprise of everyone who thought I'm always cold and unsympathetic; you know really there's a good reason to be cold: if I'm blocking you all out then I can't feel for you and trust me I don't need to feel for you because I feel enough for myself. I tried blocking my own emotions in the past and that just ended in a breakdown so I guess I'm compromising). Besides, don't you want to watch a movie about lies, open relationships, love, sex, betrayal, and truth? Especially when they're condensed into an 1:39 minutes? Go find it :3~

The much needed holiday (Monday was...Memorial Day?) turned out to be...a longer holiday (I didn't go to class until Thursday night), only it didn't feel like a holiday cause my schedule's been so full and I keep worrying about things on my plate that I don't feel like dealing with. I've somehow managed to get even better at procrastination in that now instead of starting my essay sometime late at night I actually start finishing up research and maybe writing an outline late at night, hit bed, and then start writing the essay the morning it is due. Don't get me wrong, this works fine when you're writing like 2-3 page essays, but not when you have to write 7-12 page essays. Uh huh, I know. The good news is that I didn't get yelled at yesterday by my professor (for American lit), who is neither nonchalant nor hostile towards me (and believe me, she can be hostile--one of the reasons why I do not like female professors very much. male professors don't try to humiliate you in front of a class, female professors feel justified and superior enough to do just that in every class), but rather she accepted my essay (I rushed to class and made it 5 minutes before it ended) and returned my proposal which, surprisingly enough, got a B. So my way of thinking is that since I got an A in the midterm (20%), a B in the proposal (10%), and hopefully a B/C on my paper (30%) and prolly an A/B/C on my final (30%) that remaining 10% of quizzes that I've missed/screwed up so very many times will not affect me anymore. It's like becoming untouchable and only realizing it after wards. Awesome.

...Not that I actually care that much about grades. Well, I sort of do in these higher level major classes (400s are the ones that really matter, honey) because they are what determine how good you are in what you do. No one cares if you got a poor grade in a 200- or 300- level class because those are for amateurs and you're allowed to screw up/dislike Classic literature/abhor literature from the Middle Ages...I hope. For summer I have a Shakespeare required class, the first American lit class, and a Children's lit class coming up so I hope I'll survive. At least I'll only have night class once a week but I bet work will be a pain. Maybe I should just let my coworker work full time and let myself starve. Hah. Expediting that immigration application almost seems worth it ($$ wise).

I'm also signed up for two online classes, which I really should check on at some point, but they don't start till July...I think. One is something I have to retake (groan) and the other is speech, which I really should just take in class, but I don't want to (attend class). ^^;;;;;; I plan on taking maybe two more classes in community college later this year or early next year to make sure I graduate in time, but it's going to be rough. So. Let's hope my uni doesn't cut anymore sections/classes. I heard our department is so broke that the teachers have to provide their own paper. o_o;

I have one more week of class left, and I only have to do a final draft of a letter (2 pages), a presentation and paper (300 words), and a final paper (unrestricted length). Then he will be back on Monday (after my final on Critics in Literature) and I will have three finals on Tuesday (multiple choice, two essays, and this weird combination one). Then, and ONLY then will I be free. But not quite, cause I may have to work more. Damn.

I keep reading nice entries on eljay and facebook about summer and the end of school and it's just not like that for me. I have summer school (5 classes in total) and I have to work even when I don't have school... Blah.

I was just telling my a random girl who did my facial the other day that I think I'm burning out and I need to take time off after I get my BA. I think I need at least a year off from all this craziness (have you ever spelled it like that??? was it always supposed to be spelled like that? I guess it's obvious I didn't take linguistics...). Or a year off from work. A year off from everything sounds the best ;P

music, college, movie, job, class

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