Some respite
I want to start off with how much I'm grateful for my sweetie. He said just a few things today that really put things back into perspective for me and soothed my spirit. I've just been feeling down a lot lately, not just angry as my last post may suggest, but depressed. I don't like living life in a holding pattern even though I know God calls us sometimes to do just that. I want to be proactive. I want to be pushing forward and moving on.
Things right now? Complete opposite. I have so many obstacles in my way and...well, my sweetie just set me right today and it was so wonderfully freeing. I've always had a 'I'll do it myself' attitude that I know I picked up from mom since I hardly dad really leading the family. Not that regret that, per se, because dad is one of the most compassionate people I know - he just shows it quietly and without much notice. Being a cop limited the time he could spend with us, so mom took up the roll of the, well, "pants wearer" of the house.
Leaving things to other people, let alone God, is very difficult for me. I'm a perfectionist and cynical of others and their abilities. Where my sweetie is at - I don't see it as a long-term future position. For now, it has to be enough for him though. We're both trying to get our feet back on the ground; for me, to downsize an entire house of crap I don't need (including the said house), and for him, to just establish himself in life again.
In the meantime, things that need to be done and CAN be done right now include:
- sorting through what items are for ebay, garage sale, charity
- working on my novel
- Bible study on the Gospel of John
- House cosmetic repairs
All rather general things, I suppose, but they still need to be done.
Romans 11:33-36
33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?”
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.