obsessive complusion baklaness
the silence is killing me.. and yet again i reiterate that I am nocturnal..
can't get myself to feel the least bit sleepy.. even though I have to go to the hospital tomorrow by 8am..
got used to coming home late and feeling that its dumb going straight to bed..
and I guess I'm slowly succumbing to OCD-like behavior..
its a must for me to at least wash my hands and arms three times before handling anything in the culture room.. and I wont touch the door handle and instead open it with my bum XD
then, if my hands touch anything out of the hood, I spray my hands with alcohol like crazy, even scratching an itchy nose or fixing stray locks of hair is a no-no since I'd have to wash my hands again then spray them with alcohol LOL
it applies when I go home.. I leave my foot wear far away from my room, and only get to lie down or even sit down on the bed after a thorough bath.. my clothes are considered contaminated and I peel them off before entering my room (how retarded is that LOL)
and the weirdest part is I also have an alcohol spray, which I use on the door handles, the floor and the light switch.. the pillows, the curtains, the computer, the remote, the dining room table.. LOL..
and I'm bestfriends with Zonrox in the bathroom T_T
am I overdoing it?
LOL
hon came over the other day..
blackmail daw XD
been having a weak appetite lately and with every one of hon's inquiries about what I ate, I'd say it was some snack type thing or nothing at all.. and I don't even go hungry.. LOL its not that I'm dieting, I'm never conscious about my weight.. its just that I don't feel like eating..
I guess it was some emotionally related thing.. just been missing him so much that I couldn't really get myself to eat properly (lovebird syndrome? XD)
then in one of our typical lambing conversations, he kept on asking why I didn't want to eat..
of course, in the spirit of mush XDDDD i said: kase hindi ka pa pumupunta dito.. XDDDD
and that day, after that particular call, he got on a bus to manila XDDDD
I made some lame excuse to skip work then spent the day at gateway at the arcade XD surprisingly not doing well on the dance game (distracted? XD)
just him being there was comforting.. too bad though that the discount with the gold card on lunch didn't count that time around.. but I'm mindless about money when it comes to making the most of our time together..
he had to go home din that night T_T
a total of ten hours travel time just to spend 5 hours with me XD
wish things were a bit easier for us.. patience na lang..
I miss the AME people..
a handful have been on my mind so much that I'm already dreaming of making tambay and having conversations with them.. wahh.. parody type things.. wah.. psycho.. XD
here I am being a hypocrite about saying only get members that can actually contribute to the org.. then not really being active or at least doing my job.. X| I just feel really guilty that I'm not giving the org as much time as I did before..
I can't even return something wayyyyyyyy long overdue.. *cowers in raine's shadow*
circumstances have not been in favor for my extracurriculars, I can't even have leisure time to catch up with friends..
just want to shrivel up and die in that aspect.. X|
basta.. when school starts again.. I'ma gonna do major glomping.. LOL (and thats coming from an anti-social-i-need-my-personal-space person).. and at least give effort to bond with people.. not minding the time as much as before.. since it will *hopefully* be my last sem in school.. *i don't wanna grow up mommy sniff*
*spray spray spray*
can't get myself to feel the least bit sleepy.. even though I have to go to the hospital tomorrow by 8am..
got used to coming home late and feeling that its dumb going straight to bed..
and I guess I'm slowly succumbing to OCD-like behavior..
its a must for me to at least wash my hands and arms three times before handling anything in the culture room.. and I wont touch the door handle and instead open it with my bum XD
then, if my hands touch anything out of the hood, I spray my hands with alcohol like crazy, even scratching an itchy nose or fixing stray locks of hair is a no-no since I'd have to wash my hands again then spray them with alcohol LOL
it applies when I go home.. I leave my foot wear far away from my room, and only get to lie down or even sit down on the bed after a thorough bath.. my clothes are considered contaminated and I peel them off before entering my room (how retarded is that LOL)
and the weirdest part is I also have an alcohol spray, which I use on the door handles, the floor and the light switch.. the pillows, the curtains, the computer, the remote, the dining room table.. LOL..
and I'm bestfriends with Zonrox in the bathroom T_T
am I overdoing it?
LOL
hon came over the other day..
blackmail daw XD
been having a weak appetite lately and with every one of hon's inquiries about what I ate, I'd say it was some snack type thing or nothing at all.. and I don't even go hungry.. LOL its not that I'm dieting, I'm never conscious about my weight.. its just that I don't feel like eating..
I guess it was some emotionally related thing.. just been missing him so much that I couldn't really get myself to eat properly (lovebird syndrome? XD)
then in one of our typical lambing conversations, he kept on asking why I didn't want to eat..
of course, in the spirit of mush XDDDD i said: kase hindi ka pa pumupunta dito.. XDDDD
and that day, after that particular call, he got on a bus to manila XDDDD
I made some lame excuse to skip work then spent the day at gateway at the arcade XD surprisingly not doing well on the dance game (distracted? XD)
just him being there was comforting.. too bad though that the discount with the gold card on lunch didn't count that time around.. but I'm mindless about money when it comes to making the most of our time together..
he had to go home din that night T_T
a total of ten hours travel time just to spend 5 hours with me XD
wish things were a bit easier for us.. patience na lang..
I miss the AME people..
a handful have been on my mind so much that I'm already dreaming of making tambay and having conversations with them.. wahh.. parody type things.. wah.. psycho.. XD
here I am being a hypocrite about saying only get members that can actually contribute to the org.. then not really being active or at least doing my job.. X| I just feel really guilty that I'm not giving the org as much time as I did before..
I can't even return something wayyyyyyyy long overdue.. *cowers in raine's shadow*
circumstances have not been in favor for my extracurriculars, I can't even have leisure time to catch up with friends..
just want to shrivel up and die in that aspect.. X|
basta.. when school starts again.. I'ma gonna do major glomping.. LOL (and thats coming from an anti-social-i-need-my-personal-space person).. and at least give effort to bond with people.. not minding the time as much as before.. since it will *hopefully* be my last sem in school.. *i don't wanna grow up mommy sniff*
*spray spray spray*