[Brainstorm] Story Outlines # 3
WARNING: Failed, aborted projects...
Time Capsule Fairytale
A/N: Inspired by Murakami Haruki's stories and Shao-ling Chu's book.
NOTES: Analytical conversations. Magic Realism (?). Psychological exploration.
[BGM: Dixie Flatline - "Just Be Friends" (music box version)]
[BGM: iroha (sasaki) - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
mirror reveals the child characters locked inside them
parent-child conflict
getting over regrets?
seasons
enka (karaoke?)
tea ceremony
wedding
-mirror (Yana self)
-beach / ocean (Akaya)
-fireworks (Inui) (elementary school; festival; yukata)
-autumn / sunrise + sunset (?) (Sana)
-night club / piano player (Yukimura)
"Tragic stories always draws upon my memory. It's not like those stories with happy endings, that you read and forget. Sad stories are different."
"They leave more of an impact on you. And you find yourself obsessing about creating a happy ending. It suddenly becomes like your sole purpose in life. And that's all you can think about, all that occupies your mind."
"If I wanted to write a fairy tale that endures time, I want to write one with a tragic ending. The prince and the princess don't end up together. But, they'll always remember each other, just like the readers will remember the story."
Perhaps when he was writing this fairy tale, he was also simultaneously writing his own story.
His ceaselessly crying reflection weeped for the foreshadowed ending.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he first uncovered the wrapped piece.
A mirror. A mirror his grandfather had given him as a farewell present.
(i) "Perhaps you will find some use in this." The elder had stateded when he handed him the item.
He only had time to uncover it today.
In the perfect replica, he sees himself, but in his younger days. His reflection rubbed at its red, puffy eyes. Straight cut fringe covered his eyes, shadowing them from view. From the way shiny streaks ran down the plains of its cheeks to stain its clothes a darker droplets of color, it wasn't hard to guess that his reflection was crying.
The image before him a silent motion picture. THe reality rewinded to the past. A fragment of the past. The past that never took place in the internal environment. The past no one took witness to. The past that shook his interal world. The past that only he knew clearly of.
His hands trembled slightly. The image in the mirror shook, like a water surface rippling to a toss-in pebble.
THen, the metal frame slipped like the past from his fingertips.
ONly when he opened his eyes did he realize the spontaneous crash he heard a second ago came from the ancient mirror hitting the ground.
The metal frame separated into pieces of broken skeleton.
What once was a rectangular picutre of unity now laid on the wooden floor in jagged shards.
"I thought this might be of some use to you."
-Yana's grandfather: (hands him a mirror)
-mirror: can reveal the depth of the human heart
-At first when his grandfather told him of the object's abilities, he didn't believe him. After all, magical mirrors appeared only as fairytale relics.
This was reality. There was nothing magical about it except for the works of science.
"Kyoto University, huh?" Seiichi drew his thighs against his chest and rested his chin on the back of his hand resting on one knee.
"Aa."
"Your whole family is moving to Kyoto then?"
"Aa."
Then, the other caught him unexpectedly. "If parting is inevitable for everyone, then why did we meet in the first place?"
"..."
"Ne, Renji. Do you think, we, human beings, can live in solitude?"
"If it is inevitable, then it is something we have to get used to."
From the crack of the shoji door, the mirror he leaned against the wall reflected his image. Except, his reflection was not the mature adult he pretended to be in front of his friend.
Behind the glass, the child who moved to Tokyo without bidding his best friend farewell buried his face in his palms. His shoulders trembling. His sobs silent, sealed behind glass.
Time Capsule Fairytale
Summary: One Shot. In which fairytales with tragic endings are more easily remembered than happy endings. Akaya x Yanagi.
Rating: M
Genre: Drama / Romance
A/N:
NOTES: Angst. Magic Realism (?). Mentions of "Embrace the Sea." Psychological exploration. AKaya POV.
WARNINGS: SMUT. And a very bad attempt at it (again).
[BGM: Dixie Flatline - "Just Be Friends" (music box version)]
[BGM: iroha (sasaki) - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
BGM: Maroon5 - She Will Be Loved
mirror reveals the child characters locked inside them
always going to remember regrets
enka
AUTUMN - 林上秋色染京华，醉了人间帝王家
tea ceremony
wedding
"Tragic stories always draws upon my memory. It's not like those stories with happy endings, that you read and forget. Sad stories are different."
"They leave more of an impact on you. And you find yourself obsessing about creating a happy ending. It suddenly becomes like your sole purpose in life. And that's all you can think about, all that occupies your mind."
"If I wanted to write a fairy tale that endures time, I want to write one with a tragic ending. The prince and the princess don't end up together. But, they'll always remember each other, just like the readers will remember the story."
Perhaps when he was writing this fairy tale, he was also simultaneously writing his own story.
His ceaselessly crying reflection weeped for the foreshadowed ending.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he first uncovered the wrapped piece.
A mirror. A mirror his grandfather had given him as a farewell present.
(i) "Perhaps you will find some use in this." The elder had stateded when he handed him the item.
He only had time to uncover it today.
In the perfect replica, he sees himself, but in his younger days. His reflection rubbed at its red, puffy eyes. Straight cut fringe covered his eyes, shadowing them from view. From the way shiny streaks ran down the plains of its cheeks to stain its clothes a darker droplets of color, it wasn't hard to guess that his reflection was crying.
The image before him a silent motion picture. THe reality rewinded to the past. A fragment of the past. The past that never took place in the internal environment. The past no one took witness to. The past that shook his interal world. The past that only he knew clearly of.
His hands trembled slightly. The image in the mirror shook, like a water surface rippling to a toss-in pebble.
THen, the metal frame slipped like the past from his fingertips.
ONly when he opened his eyes did he realize the spontaneous crash he heard a second ago came from the ancient mirror hitting the ground.
The metal frame separated into pieces of broken skeleton.
What once was a rectangular picutre of unity now laid on the wooden floor in jagged shards.
"I thought this might be of some use to you."
-Yana's grandfather: (hands him a mirror)
-mirror: can reveal the depth of the human heart
-At first when his grandfather told him of the object's abilities, he didn't believe him. After all, magical mirrors appeared only as fairytale relics.
This was reality. There was nothing magical about it except for the works of science.
"Kyoto University, huh?" Seiichi drew his thighs against his chest and rested his chin on the back of his hand resting on one knee.
"Aa."
"Your whole family is moving to Kyoto then?"
"Aa."
Then, the other caught him unexpectedly. "If parting is inevitable for everyone, then why did we meet in the first place?"
"..."
"Ne, Renji. Do you think, we, human beings, can live in solitude?"
"If it is inevitable, then it is something we have to get used to."
From the crack of the shoji door, the mirror he leaned against the wall reflected his image. Except, his reflection was not the mature adult he pretended to be in front of his friend.
Behind the glass, the child who moved to Tokyo without bidding his best friend farewell buried his face in his palms. His shoulders trembling. His sobs silent, sealed behind glass.
.........
He doesn't think that the other could absorb of the words from the book, let alone the content. Not because he doubted the other's intellegence. But rather, because if he could hardly see anything in this darkness, he doubt the other could read in this condition.
(after SMUT- Yana sitting on veranda reading children's fairytales)
-Aka: (planned on going out of the country for Pro-Tennis training) (finds it ironic that he has to go to country where its language had been a pain for him to master in school)
-packed and everything; receives a letter
-"Leaves redden to autumn's arrival. It's a magnificent sight." Simple letter. But it took his unguarded heart just like that.
-Aka's mom: Are you ready for tomorrow's departure?
-Aka: Sorry, ma. That's going to have to wait."
Was he stubborn? Was he being reckless? Yes. Even when he was well beyond the age to be so.
-Aka: (rides train to Hokkaido-->where Yana now lives; Yana's grandparents passed away and he inherits their house)
-looks over simple letter Yana sent him; it's the first letter he has received from Yana ever since they went separate ways after high school
-finds it funny how after all these years, he's still led like a lamb by his senapi
-Aka: (follows address he received from Yana's letter) (finds old, traditional house) (finds it amusing that the house Yana lives in fits the one in his imagination)
` -ring doorbell
-Yana: (comes out from house to open gate) (isn't surprised when he sees Akaya)
-greets him with a straight face
-Aka: (somewhat disappointed to see that his arrival didn't surprise/excite his senpai)
-suddenly remembers how people joked about their doubles play in middle school. He was a beast. And the senpai who was now leading him into his house was the tamer.
-Aka: (sleeping; dream sequence = "Embrace the Sea")
-wakes up and sees Yana sleeping on the futon next to his; his back turned toward him
-Yana's back looks like the one from that day, when the two of them enjoyed the sea silently.
-thought about his wish to become stronger so he could embrace his senpai like the sea
-knows he is qualified to do so now; moves toward Yana and embraces him
from behind
-his heart beated against his chest like a wave crashing shore
-See. He's still the sea-person he thought himself to be.
His actions seemed to have waken his senpai. The other stirred, then froze.
He realized his how his erection rose with the sun and was now pressed against his senpai's skin. His hands naturally saught to part his gluteals, and his finger traced the remaining moisture at the other's entrance.
His senpai trembled. Almost dismissably. "Not now, Akaya."
-CLIMAX
-Yana: You shouldn't have come here.
-Aka: ...
-Yana: Then again. I shouldn't have written that letter to you in the first place.
(day before Aka leaves)(night)
-Aka + Yana: (lay in futon, cooling off from their activity)
-Yana: (rolls over, turning his back to Aka) "You're leaving tomorrow."
-Aka: "Yeah." (his heart skips a beat; it is only later that he realize that that was the feeling expectation)
-Yana: "I have something to take care of tomorrow. I won't be able to see you off." (said plainly) (But Aka wondered about the emotions swirling up beneath Yana's eyelids)
-Aka: And he thought. It came earlier than he expected. The ending of the fairy tale. The happily ever after that got distorted mercilessly by a realistic and logical mind belonging to the person before him. The happy ending souring to a tragic end.
-Yana: "Take care of yourself." (said as tepidly as before)
-AKa: (watched his back) (realized he has been watching his back a lot the past few days)
-Though it wouldn't make any difference even if he stared at his face right now. One was as cool and blank as the other.
-Then scenes of their love-making flashed in his mind. A corner of lips rose to a mocking smile. Ironically, the only time he successfully broke through the other's facade was during those cessions.
He was the last to leave him after all the other had left him.
Though, there was still a part of him that wanted to stay. That wanted to keep him company in this abandoned castle of a house he lived in. He acknowledged that part of him.
He would stay. Only if his senpai convinced him to. He waited for his senpai to convince him.
Even till the night before his departure, he stayed up staring at the other's back. Waiting. Just waiting for the other become the child he saw to be in the mirror. The lonely child who wished for companionship. The prince in the abandoned castle longing for company.
But what he wanted to hear was never said.
And he thought in mock-amusement. What if his senpai's megane friend, and his buchou and fukubuchou all had the same thoughts as him? What if they all wanted to remain with the other, but still left him in the end because the other never opened his mouth to tell them he wanted them to stay?
"Take care."
He didn't reply immediately. He paused, letting his senpai's simple words melt in his ears and drip into his heart to act as hope's fuel.
Then, he finally asked.
"...Can I write to you?"
"Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
Time Capsule Fairytale
Summary: One shot. Akaya x Yanagi.
Rating: M
Genre: Romance / Hurt/Comfort (?) / Drama
A/N:
NOTES: Magic Realism (?). Mentions of "Embrace the Sea." Akaya POV.
WARNINGS: SMUT. And a very bad attempt at it (again).
Yanagi: 24, writer & college professor
Akaya: 23, Tennis professional (training; came back to Japan for short break)
OUTLINE:
-Aka: (wakes up in Yana's futon)
-(rolls over, intentionally wanting to bring another body closer to his)
-(touches emptiness) (wakes up completely)
-(throws on yukata and walks out to veranda)
-Yana: (sitting haori keeping him from night air)
-Aka: (goes over, stands behind his senpai and looks over his head to see what the other was doing)
-Yana: (head dipped; in his hands is a thick, dictionary-like book)
He doesn't think that the other could absorb of the words from the book, let alone the content. Not because he doubted the other's intellegence. But rather, because if he could hardly see anything in this darkness, he doubt the other could read in this condition.
-Aka: (As if judging the haori to be insufficient in keeping the other warm, he dropped down behind his senpai and wrapped his arms around the shoulders that were narrower than his.)
-"Yanagi-senpai." He whispered to the sensitive skin at the nape of the other's neck. His fingers brushed against his senpai's chest. His touch deliberately ghosting over the soft structures his lips and fingers caressed all night now lying hidden beneath the cotton material.
-Yana: (shutter) "Akaya."
-Aka: (knows the other's body is especially sensitive after their activity)
He clung onto him like he's clinging onto time. And ironically, neither is something he can hold onto.
"What do you say we take advantage of the situation and stay in bed the whole weekend?"
TH other doesn't reply.
(Aka: is going to America for further pro-tennis training)
(Aka: visits Yana for a weekend (Friday - Sunday) b/c he knows he wouldn't be back soon)
Three days. That was all he needed. Any shorter than that, he felt wasn't enough. Any longer than that, he feared he'd end up refusing to leave.
Next day, two wake up surprisingly early.
-Yana: (lives close to woodland area) (so autumn scene presented itself before him)
-(quiet neighborhood)(fitting for retirement, perhaps that was why Yana's grandparents had chosen to live in such a place)
-Aka: (maybe he was used to living in an urban area) (felt that Yana's neighborhood was too quiet, almost as if they were the only ones who existed in this world)
-But of course. That wasn't a bad feeling.
-Aka + Yana: (after breakfast) (took walk in the woodland trail near Yana's place)
-autumn: (so all trees are red and orange)
-Aka: (looks at trees and lost in thought)
-SMUT: veranda
-red-orange Japanese maple tree leaves fall and carried by the wind to the veranda
-Yana: (lay on back) (kimono opened and disheveled)
(body rocking to Aka's set rhythm)
-Aka: (Yana looks well-suited with the yardful of fallen red maple leaves) (compares Yana to autumn; the passion of the falling leaves seems to contradict the chilliness of the season. Just like, his senpai's passion was carefully hidden under his cool exterior. )
-(listens to Yana's low moans) (watches Yana's scrunched up eyebrows, his rare show of weakness)
-chilly wind blows, leaf falls from tree, blown toward their entanglement
-leaf lands on Yana's naked chest
-Aka: (awed) (leans down and catches Yana's lips with his own)
-Aka + Yana: (goes home after walk)
-Yana: (checks mail) (receives letter from friends)
-Aka: (thought about movies he brought with him) (goes to guest room /where he is staying at now/ and starts digging in his bag)
-digs out two DVDs ("Sweet Pool" and "Winter Cicada")
-goes out to suggest to Yana that they watch the DVDs for the rest weekend
-Aka: (catches Yana reading letter and smiling softly)
-(looks at envelope - from Yukimura-buchou) Well, not really buchou anymore. But old habits die hard.
-night before Akaya's departure
-Yana: (stands in front of mirror)
-Aka: (finds Yana in room, standing in front of mirror)
-(draws closer, gets freaked out)
-Yana: (tells him it's a mirror that shows you your inner state)
-"You can deny your feelings, regardless of the ugly and the beautiful, when you're distracted. But, you can't do that when you're standing in front of this mirror."
-Aka: (looks at crying young Yana in the mirror)
-"So then, do you have regrets, Yanagi-senpai."
-Yana: "Everyone has regrets, Akaya. More or less. The thing is, what are you to do about it?"
-Aka: (comes to stand in front of the mirror) (curious of what his inner state looks like)
-inner state: also a crying little boy
-for some reason, not that surprised
-Yana: "I see that you have your own regrets that you cannot resolve."
-Aka: (embraces Yana from behind)
-Yana: (lets him embrace him)
-Aka + Yana: (silently, as if already agreed upon, turned to face each other. He looked up. Yana turned to look behind him.)
-kiss
-end up in a tangled mess on the laid out futon on the floor, the mirror and the image it project forgotten to them in the moment
-Aka: (first time making love in Yana's room) (feels as if closer to Yana because he is invited to his room, to the chamber of his most intimate secrets)
-remembers how he was a bit envious of the Seigaku dataman, and of buchou and fukubuchou. They must have been to Yana's room many times already.
-shakes off the envy
-pulls off their clothing, lips still attached with Yana's
-feels Yana to be out of control as he is and gets more excited than he already is
-IN this fairy tale, loneliness wasn't the villain. It was more like a guiding light, a fairy godmother of some sort, who led souls to each other.
Because he saw his senpai's reflection, because he saw his own reflection in the mirror, he can say that they were the same people. As much as their out appearances contrasted so greatly from one another.
He always thought winter was the other's season. In that it was so similar to the other's nature, to the other's temperment. But he was wrong. Autumn was the other's true season. The seemingly chilly season.
"Take care."
"...Can I write to you?"
"Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
"Can I...come visit you some time?"
"..."
"..."
"...Aa."
END NOTES:
-"Sweet Pool" is a Japanese BL visual novel.
-"Winter Cicada" is a three-episode BL anime.
I find it funny that after a while, an author can really pick out similarities between her pieces. I was writing this piece when I suddenly realized that many of my pieces share similar beginnings and endings. In the beginning, characters set out on a journey, perhaps towards idealism. As much exploration they make, as much fun as they have, regardless of whether they achieve their goal or not, in the end, reality beckons them. And they have to return it.
Time Capsule Fairytale
Rating: M
Genre: Romance / Drama
Summary: One shot. Little by little, he led the recluse prince out from his cottage in the forest. Akaya x Yanagi.
NOTES: Impressionistic writing. Lascivious (?) Yanagi.
WARNING: Lemon-lime.
Their meetings are rituals.
They'd always find a way to meet. Or rather, he would always find a way, an excuse to visit him.
He never used all those "too busy," "don't have time," "don't have the money" kind of seemingly logical reasons not to visit the other. If those reasons prevented him from seeing the other, then that would mean he didn't want to see him as much as he wanted to. But he wanted to, because he really wanted to see the other. And because their meetings were already a rare luxury especially because he currently resided outside the country. If he wanted to count the times they get to see each other, he would only need the fingers on his one hands.
-Aka: (thinks of their meetings)
-started during their college days
-two of them have been in a relationship since high school; even though they went their separate ways after high school
-college: Aka got invited to study aboard for pro-tennis training
-visited his country during school winter and summer breaks; go visit parents and also his senpai
-not much intimacy in their relationship; got through his college year with hugging, kissing, fondling and the occassional mutual masturbation
-college graduation: he and Yana made love for the first time
-from that point, they would make love whenever they met
-he doesn't know what has gotten into him recently; he visited Japan less frequently; whenever he visited his senpai (usually he managed to pull out a free weekened from the pile of months), they would spend an entire day in bed, as if it became a make up for all the time they've been separate
-strangely, neither of them saw it as a waste of time; they would lay in bed and talk when they rested
"You know, even though Kawabata Yasunari received the nobel prize for literature, not a lot of people read his works."
"Oh yeah?" He knows this is the part he has to shut his mouth and listen. And try to understand. Try very hard. He usually just tunes out whatever doesn't interest him or is understandable. But his senpai listened and listened well when he talked. So he was returning the favor.
"His works are too deep. Too finely detailed. And the author's underlying themes are so obscured sometimes that you don't know what he's talking about."
"If this guy is so hard to understand, then why do you understand him?"
The corner of the other's lips lifted in irony. And his gaze appeared aloof, almost as if he was gazing at the top of some mountain in the faroff horizon.
"I'm the only one with enough luxurious time to read and analyze his works."
"You've got that right." He snorted.
"And. Because I, myself, am such a writer."
"Why did you choose to...sleep with me?"
His senpai didn't answer. Instead, he returned a question of his own.
"Why do you think?"
'Because you're lonely. Because I'm the only one here.' He wanted to say. He wanted to the other to object. But the other didn't because he never verbalized his thoughts, his accusations.
"Maybe it's how your actions speak out." A finger light touched his eyebrows as if carefully counting its numbers. "Maybe it's your eyes. Your intentions are clear. What you want to possess... What you desire..."
His senpai looked into his eyes as if looking into a mirror. And as much as people denied it, a lot of people still enjoyed seeing themselves in the mirror.
And he, too, stared into his senpai's eyes. The mirrors that rarely revealed themselves to him.
Yet when they revealed themselves to him, he only saw himself. He didn't see himself there intentionally as an object to occupy an empty space. Nor was his image distorted to match someone else's presentation.
He wrapped his arms around his naked body. Autumn midnights were chilly. But he didn't have any intention to put his clothes on.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. Every second ticking away reminded him of just how fast time slipped through his hands.
THe reminder worked better than any coffee.
"Senpai." He tried. He wanted to know if the other had already fallen asleep or not.
"Aa." The clarity of the other's voice revealed just how awake the other was.
"Tell me a story, senpai."
-AKa: (more interested in hearing Yana's voice)
-His voice was something someone would enjoy listening to at the end of the day, something someone would fall asleep to and take to his dreams.
-(somewhere in the back of his head, his imagination set up a futuristic scene. Of his senpai sitting beside his child, reading him to sleep. He thought his senpai would make a great father. Then he stopped his thought there before he could ponder about the woman his senpai would eventually marry)
-Yana: (voice cuts off Aka's disheveled mind)
-So he told him a story, like parent bribing his child to sleep with a bedtime story. He told him a fairytale. About a prince who ran away from home and found a little cottage in the forest to live in. About the mirror he found in the cottage that reflected not of one's outer appearance but inner presentation. About how the prince withdrew from the world. About the people who coincidentally got lost in the forest to seek shelter. About how the prince became friends with these strangers, and how they became strangers again when his friends departed. He told of the princes's fear, or rather, cowardice. That, even when given the chance the prince rejected his friends' offer to go with them to see the world. Instead, he lives like a frog at the bottom of a well. His only companions, the mirror and regrets that kept piling up in his reflection.
-Aka: "Remember that mirror you told me about? From the story?"
-Yana: (nods)
-Aka: "Maybe its existence isn't to show someone his regrets to make him feel worse than he already is. Maybe it's there as a reminder. Like you said, we're all human. We're all going to have regrets some way or other. Maybe the mirror's there to challenge people to work harder, to achieve their goals so they'll have less regrets. So that one day, they won't be afraid to look at the mirror."
-Yana: (silent after Aka's explanation) (Aka knows he is pondering his words)
-after a while, Aka sees the corner of Yana's lips lifting, and his entire expression softened
-"You might be a better fairytale storyteller than me."
-opens eyes and reaches out to trace around Aka's eyebrows, eyelids; even in the dark, his eyes still brightly
-"All your fairytales would have happy endings."
-Aka: (gets confused) "Aren't fairytales supposed to have happy endings?
-Yana: "Perhaps, for you."
-Aka: "No, every fairytale should have a happy ending!" He insisted. "Just because bad things happen along the way doesn't mean everything has to go down hill. If the hero falls, he just has to climb back up again."
-Yana: (looks at him) "You most definitely make a better fairytale storyteller than me." (small smile)
"Take care."
He didn't reply immediately. He paused, letting his senpai's simple words melt in his ears and drip into his heart to act as hope's fuel.
Then, he finally asked.
"...Can I write to you?"
"You already do."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"I already do."
Yes. His senpai always reads the letters he sends. That's why he still remembered him. That's why 5 years apart did not create much of a distance between the two of them.
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
The other didn't answer immediately. He listened attentively, waiting for his reply. Maybe that was the effect the other wanted to create. To remain silent temporarily, to make him listen carefully.
"Perhaps, I will be the one to visit you next time."
The prince, stepping out of the cottage he hid himself in to venture into the unfamiliar world.
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
night
Yana: age + pessimism; Aka: youth + optimism
battle between pessimism and optimism
winter vs summer
NOTES: Follows "Embrace the Sea." Akaya POV.
Warnings: Lemon-lime. Akaya x Yanagi, in that order.
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
SETTING: September - October / autumn
Yana: (ready to go away to college) (Sana + Yuki left already)
Aka: ready for third year of high school
He likes watching the other from afar. Like he did that one sunset day by the sea.
His senpai was someone who disliked being figured out. He wanted to be the eternal enigma, the unsolve puzzle. He doesn't reveal much of himself to anyone, even his closest friends. When someone tries to understand him and know him, he tucks his true self further away in himself, and the display he puts on leads the puzzle solver further away from his real self.
But to fool another, you have to fool yourself first.
Maybe in the end, his Yanagi-senpai would lose himself altogether just so no one ever finds him.
The price of the other revealing his true self is his distance. But he didn't mind paying that price.
He pushed into him. His rhythm slow at first. The other laid under him, unmoving. His closed eyes revealing nothing, his icy facade frozen in place.
Akaya pried his thighs open wider. He moved in and out of him in repetition, each time directing his thrusts at the point of sensitivity.
He doesn't take his eyes off of him the entire time. He watches. He knows he would see his icy facade crack. He knows the other wouldn't be able to keep up. In the battle between mind and body, the other's body always wins his mind.
He sees his brows twitch. Then scrunch up. His teeth clamped together lightly, preventing all sounds of pleasure and pain from escaping. His eyes aren't closed anymore; they're squeezed shut so tightly that water begin collecting at the reddening corners. His fingers grasped the bedsheets like they're his last bit of sanity.
As sick as it is to admit, he can't deny the fact that he enjoys what he sees. His senpai's struggle. Winter snow fighting against the warmth of spring. Security against release.
Niou-senpai's words ring through his mind. He told him, "We're all perverted, but we don't ever admit to that."
Niou-senpai was perverted. He knew in the way he used to look at Yagyuu-senpai.
He was perverted. And so was Yanagi-senpai.
Sweat is all over the other's body everytime they finish. It's like another day of tennis practice.
When he stares at his tired face, he can't tell whether the other's covered in beads of sweat or beads of tears. But it didn't matter. The other's tears, sweat, and even his liquid release were cold. Like water melted from ice.
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
-Yana: (writes short stories for literary magazine)
-gets letter from reader: "I've always been a fan of your pieces. I think you have great potential as a writer. But whenever I read your pieces, I can't help but feel that something seems to be missing in your stories. That they have some sort of "emptiness" to them. I am a firm believer that a writer's stories are meager revelations we, readers, get of the writer's mind and soul. So, is such emptiness a reflection of your soul? Forgive my rudeness. Thank you for your time." (letter is actually from Aka)
-Yana: (finds it ironic; writing is a way for him to discard his bonds (morals, courtesy, ethics, reality); but now, he finds himself being held back again even in his writing; that he was afraid of expressing his true self)
-or, has this wintry coldness become his true self, his inner state that has effected his writing?
-last smut scene:
-Yana: (calls Aka)
-Aka: (surprised when he sees Yana's name on the caller ID) (Yana hardly the one to initiate call)
-"...Yanagi-senpai."
-Yana: "I will be waiting for you."
-Aka: (words lit his fire) (rushes over to Yana's house)
-(finds the front door unlocked)
-Yana: (writing on veranda) (papers blowing in the wind, but a paper weight stopped them from flying away)
-garden: full of red leaves
-room: (packed suitcase ready to go)
-Aka: (arrives, first sees luggage, then sees Yana staring off into space on the veranda) (sees Yana contrast with the reddening maple leaves in the background) (feels heat in his navel) (calms himself and walks up the other slowly and sits down beside him)
-Aka: "...So, you're..." (words disappear when Yana kisses him)
-SMUT:
-Aka: (never seen a scene so breathtaking in his life - orange setting sun, leaves set on fire, and the heat of his senpai's body)
-Yes. Heat. Even with the chilly wind setting in with dusk, he feels hot. For the first time, he's not going insane from his own heat. His senpai's heat is the one that's scorching him.
-(thinks) Of course. How could someone born in such a season be so cold? Impossible.
-Yana: (gets thrown onto back, hand knocks over paper weight)
-gust of wind comes and sends stack of paper flying everywhere like shocked white doves.
-doesn't do anything to stop papers; didn't care
-After activity: both lay on the veranda watching the moon
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
-letters (like Tojitsuki Hajime's manga) - Yukimura and Sanada keeps sending Yana letters so Yana wouldn't forget them
-mirror of regrets - in Yana's fairytale
-prince wanted to freeze time so people wouldn't have to separate, parents wouldn't have been dead
"No one's home."
-Aka: (invites Yana over for the weekend)
-Yana: (University in Kyoto; leaving on Monday)
-invited to Aka's room; two haven't seen each other for an entire month b/c Yana spending time with Yuki and Sana
-Yuki & Sana: (both going away)
-Yuki: Sophia University
-Sana: Kobe University
-Aka + Yana: immediate smut when arriving in room
He pushed into him. His rhythm slow at first. The other laid under him, unmoving. His closed eyes revealing nothing, his icy facade frozen in place.
Akaya pried his thighs open wider. He moved in and out of him in repetition, each time directing his thrusts at the point of sensitivity.
He doesn't take his eyes off of him the entire time. He watches. He knows he would see his icy facade crack. He knows the other wouldn't be able to keep up. In the battle between mind and body, the other's body always wins his mind.
He sees his brows twitch. Then scrunch up. His teeth clamped together lightly, preventing all sounds of pleasure and pain from escaping. His eyes aren't closed anymore; they're squeezed shut so tightly that water begin collecting at the reddening corners. His fingers grasped the bedsheets like they're his last bit of sanity.
-Aka: (felt Yana's cold body, thought Yana didn't put on enough layers of clothing) (but thought it was impossible b/c Yana always logical, always looks at the weather before leaving home)
-(finds Yana's cold abnormal, but couldn't think of a logical explanation; SMUT made him stop thinking)
-Aka + Yana: (washes up after smut) (goes to bed together in Aka's little bed)
-Aka: (in the fog of sleep) (finds it weird how Yana's sweat, his tears, even his liquid release are all cold as if melted from a block of ice)
-rolls over with the intention of pulling Yana into his warm embrace
-only finds emptiness in space beside his
-sits up immediately, looks around room, pulls boxers on
-goes downstairs, hears faint voices in the downstairs
-sees Yana standing in front of the glass doors, looking to the backyard
-Yana: (talking quietly on cellphone)
-Aka: (can't really hear what Yana is saying, but Yana's voice is comforting--like oceam depths
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
"...So...what happens in the end...?" He was hoping for a happy ending. For some reason stories with tragic endings disturbs him because they bothered his mind, forcing it to conceive a happier ending to sooth his conscience.
Yanagi only shook his head. "I haven't thought of the ending yet."
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" The other knew of his preference for happy ending stories. The first movie they saw together was the first tragic movie he watched. He remembered complaining to the other about its ending.
Yanagi's lips lifted at the corners, persuading him to make his own conclusion.
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press
Time Capsule Fairytale
A/N: Inspired by Murakami Haruki's stories and Shao-ling Chu's book.
NOTES: Analytical conversations. Magic Realism (?). Psychological exploration.
[BGM: Dixie Flatline - "Just Be Friends" (music box version)]
[BGM: iroha (sasaki) - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
mirror reveals the child characters locked inside them
parent-child conflict
getting over regrets?
seasons
enka (karaoke?)
tea ceremony
wedding
-mirror (Yana self)
-beach / ocean (Akaya)
-fireworks (Inui) (elementary school; festival; yukata)
-autumn / sunrise + sunset (?) (Sana)
-night club / piano player (Yukimura)
"Tragic stories always draws upon my memory. It's not like those stories with happy endings, that you read and forget. Sad stories are different."
"They leave more of an impact on you. And you find yourself obsessing about creating a happy ending. It suddenly becomes like your sole purpose in life. And that's all you can think about, all that occupies your mind."
"If I wanted to write a fairy tale that endures time, I want to write one with a tragic ending. The prince and the princess don't end up together. But, they'll always remember each other, just like the readers will remember the story."
Perhaps when he was writing this fairy tale, he was also simultaneously writing his own story.
His ceaselessly crying reflection weeped for the foreshadowed ending.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he first uncovered the wrapped piece.
A mirror. A mirror his grandfather had given him as a farewell present.
(i) "Perhaps you will find some use in this." The elder had stateded when he handed him the item.
He only had time to uncover it today.
In the perfect replica, he sees himself, but in his younger days. His reflection rubbed at its red, puffy eyes. Straight cut fringe covered his eyes, shadowing them from view. From the way shiny streaks ran down the plains of its cheeks to stain its clothes a darker droplets of color, it wasn't hard to guess that his reflection was crying.
The image before him a silent motion picture. THe reality rewinded to the past. A fragment of the past. The past that never took place in the internal environment. The past no one took witness to. The past that shook his interal world. The past that only he knew clearly of.
His hands trembled slightly. The image in the mirror shook, like a water surface rippling to a toss-in pebble.
THen, the metal frame slipped like the past from his fingertips.
ONly when he opened his eyes did he realize the spontaneous crash he heard a second ago came from the ancient mirror hitting the ground.
The metal frame separated into pieces of broken skeleton.
What once was a rectangular picutre of unity now laid on the wooden floor in jagged shards.
"I thought this might be of some use to you."
-Yana's grandfather: (hands him a mirror)
-mirror: can reveal the depth of the human heart
-At first when his grandfather told him of the object's abilities, he didn't believe him. After all, magical mirrors appeared only as fairytale relics.
This was reality. There was nothing magical about it except for the works of science.
"Kyoto University, huh?" Seiichi drew his thighs against his chest and rested his chin on the back of his hand resting on one knee.
"Aa."
"Your whole family is moving to Kyoto then?"
"Aa."
Then, the other caught him unexpectedly. "If parting is inevitable for everyone, then why did we meet in the first place?"
"..."
"Ne, Renji. Do you think, we, human beings, can live in solitude?"
"If it is inevitable, then it is something we have to get used to."
From the crack of the shoji door, the mirror he leaned against the wall reflected his image. Except, his reflection was not the mature adult he pretended to be in front of his friend.
Behind the glass, the child who moved to Tokyo without bidding his best friend farewell buried his face in his palms. His shoulders trembling. His sobs silent, sealed behind glass.
Time Capsule Fairytale
Summary: One Shot. In which fairytales with tragic endings are more easily remembered than happy endings. Akaya x Yanagi.
Rating: M
Genre: Drama / Romance
A/N:
NOTES: Angst. Magic Realism (?). Mentions of "Embrace the Sea." Psychological exploration. AKaya POV.
WARNINGS: SMUT. And a very bad attempt at it (again).
[BGM: Dixie Flatline - "Just Be Friends" (music box version)]
[BGM: iroha (sasaki) - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
BGM: Maroon5 - She Will Be Loved
mirror reveals the child characters locked inside them
always going to remember regrets
enka
AUTUMN - 林上秋色染京华，醉了人间帝王家
tea ceremony
wedding
"Tragic stories always draws upon my memory. It's not like those stories with happy endings, that you read and forget. Sad stories are different."
"They leave more of an impact on you. And you find yourself obsessing about creating a happy ending. It suddenly becomes like your sole purpose in life. And that's all you can think about, all that occupies your mind."
"If I wanted to write a fairy tale that endures time, I want to write one with a tragic ending. The prince and the princess don't end up together. But, they'll always remember each other, just like the readers will remember the story."
Perhaps when he was writing this fairy tale, he was also simultaneously writing his own story.
His ceaselessly crying reflection weeped for the foreshadowed ending.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he first uncovered the wrapped piece.
A mirror. A mirror his grandfather had given him as a farewell present.
(i) "Perhaps you will find some use in this." The elder had stateded when he handed him the item.
He only had time to uncover it today.
In the perfect replica, he sees himself, but in his younger days. His reflection rubbed at its red, puffy eyes. Straight cut fringe covered his eyes, shadowing them from view. From the way shiny streaks ran down the plains of its cheeks to stain its clothes a darker droplets of color, it wasn't hard to guess that his reflection was crying.
The image before him a silent motion picture. THe reality rewinded to the past. A fragment of the past. The past that never took place in the internal environment. The past no one took witness to. The past that shook his interal world. The past that only he knew clearly of.
His hands trembled slightly. The image in the mirror shook, like a water surface rippling to a toss-in pebble.
THen, the metal frame slipped like the past from his fingertips.
ONly when he opened his eyes did he realize the spontaneous crash he heard a second ago came from the ancient mirror hitting the ground.
The metal frame separated into pieces of broken skeleton.
What once was a rectangular picutre of unity now laid on the wooden floor in jagged shards.
"I thought this might be of some use to you."
-Yana's grandfather: (hands him a mirror)
-mirror: can reveal the depth of the human heart
-At first when his grandfather told him of the object's abilities, he didn't believe him. After all, magical mirrors appeared only as fairytale relics.
This was reality. There was nothing magical about it except for the works of science.
"Kyoto University, huh?" Seiichi drew his thighs against his chest and rested his chin on the back of his hand resting on one knee.
"Aa."
"Your whole family is moving to Kyoto then?"
"Aa."
Then, the other caught him unexpectedly. "If parting is inevitable for everyone, then why did we meet in the first place?"
"..."
"Ne, Renji. Do you think, we, human beings, can live in solitude?"
"If it is inevitable, then it is something we have to get used to."
From the crack of the shoji door, the mirror he leaned against the wall reflected his image. Except, his reflection was not the mature adult he pretended to be in front of his friend.
Behind the glass, the child who moved to Tokyo without bidding his best friend farewell buried his face in his palms. His shoulders trembling. His sobs silent, sealed behind glass.
.........
He doesn't think that the other could absorb of the words from the book, let alone the content. Not because he doubted the other's intellegence. But rather, because if he could hardly see anything in this darkness, he doubt the other could read in this condition.
(after SMUT- Yana sitting on veranda reading children's fairytales)
-Aka: (planned on going out of the country for Pro-Tennis training) (finds it ironic that he has to go to country where its language had been a pain for him to master in school)
-packed and everything; receives a letter
-"Leaves redden to autumn's arrival. It's a magnificent sight." Simple letter. But it took his unguarded heart just like that.
-Aka's mom: Are you ready for tomorrow's departure?
-Aka: Sorry, ma. That's going to have to wait."
Was he stubborn? Was he being reckless? Yes. Even when he was well beyond the age to be so.
-Aka: (rides train to Hokkaido-->where Yana now lives; Yana's grandparents passed away and he inherits their house)
-looks over simple letter Yana sent him; it's the first letter he has received from Yana ever since they went separate ways after high school
-finds it funny how after all these years, he's still led like a lamb by his senapi
-Aka: (follows address he received from Yana's letter) (finds old, traditional house) (finds it amusing that the house Yana lives in fits the one in his imagination)
` -ring doorbell
-Yana: (comes out from house to open gate) (isn't surprised when he sees Akaya)
-greets him with a straight face
-Aka: (somewhat disappointed to see that his arrival didn't surprise/excite his senpai)
-suddenly remembers how people joked about their doubles play in middle school. He was a beast. And the senpai who was now leading him into his house was the tamer.
-Aka: (sleeping; dream sequence = "Embrace the Sea")
-wakes up and sees Yana sleeping on the futon next to his; his back turned toward him
-Yana's back looks like the one from that day, when the two of them enjoyed the sea silently.
-thought about his wish to become stronger so he could embrace his senpai like the sea
-knows he is qualified to do so now; moves toward Yana and embraces him
from behind
-his heart beated against his chest like a wave crashing shore
-See. He's still the sea-person he thought himself to be.
His actions seemed to have waken his senpai. The other stirred, then froze.
He realized his how his erection rose with the sun and was now pressed against his senpai's skin. His hands naturally saught to part his gluteals, and his finger traced the remaining moisture at the other's entrance.
His senpai trembled. Almost dismissably. "Not now, Akaya."
-CLIMAX
-Yana: You shouldn't have come here.
-Aka: ...
-Yana: Then again. I shouldn't have written that letter to you in the first place.
(day before Aka leaves)(night)
-Aka + Yana: (lay in futon, cooling off from their activity)
-Yana: (rolls over, turning his back to Aka) "You're leaving tomorrow."
-Aka: "Yeah." (his heart skips a beat; it is only later that he realize that that was the feeling expectation)
-Yana: "I have something to take care of tomorrow. I won't be able to see you off." (said plainly) (But Aka wondered about the emotions swirling up beneath Yana's eyelids)
-Aka: And he thought. It came earlier than he expected. The ending of the fairy tale. The happily ever after that got distorted mercilessly by a realistic and logical mind belonging to the person before him. The happy ending souring to a tragic end.
-Yana: "Take care of yourself." (said as tepidly as before)
-AKa: (watched his back) (realized he has been watching his back a lot the past few days)
-Though it wouldn't make any difference even if he stared at his face right now. One was as cool and blank as the other.
-Then scenes of their love-making flashed in his mind. A corner of lips rose to a mocking smile. Ironically, the only time he successfully broke through the other's facade was during those cessions.
He was the last to leave him after all the other had left him.
Though, there was still a part of him that wanted to stay. That wanted to keep him company in this abandoned castle of a house he lived in. He acknowledged that part of him.
He would stay. Only if his senpai convinced him to. He waited for his senpai to convince him.
Even till the night before his departure, he stayed up staring at the other's back. Waiting. Just waiting for the other become the child he saw to be in the mirror. The lonely child who wished for companionship. The prince in the abandoned castle longing for company.
But what he wanted to hear was never said.
And he thought in mock-amusement. What if his senpai's megane friend, and his buchou and fukubuchou all had the same thoughts as him? What if they all wanted to remain with the other, but still left him in the end because the other never opened his mouth to tell them he wanted them to stay?
"Take care."
He didn't reply immediately. He paused, letting his senpai's simple words melt in his ears and drip into his heart to act as hope's fuel.
Then, he finally asked.
"...Can I write to you?"
"Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
Time Capsule Fairytale
Summary: One shot. Akaya x Yanagi.
Rating: M
Genre: Romance / Hurt/Comfort (?) / Drama
A/N:
NOTES: Magic Realism (?). Mentions of "Embrace the Sea." Akaya POV.
WARNINGS: SMUT. And a very bad attempt at it (again).
Yanagi: 24, writer & college professor
Akaya: 23, Tennis professional (training; came back to Japan for short break)
OUTLINE:
-Aka: (wakes up in Yana's futon)
-(rolls over, intentionally wanting to bring another body closer to his)
-(touches emptiness) (wakes up completely)
-(throws on yukata and walks out to veranda)
-Yana: (sitting haori keeping him from night air)
-Aka: (goes over, stands behind his senpai and looks over his head to see what the other was doing)
-Yana: (head dipped; in his hands is a thick, dictionary-like book)
He doesn't think that the other could absorb of the words from the book, let alone the content. Not because he doubted the other's intellegence. But rather, because if he could hardly see anything in this darkness, he doubt the other could read in this condition.
-Aka: (As if judging the haori to be insufficient in keeping the other warm, he dropped down behind his senpai and wrapped his arms around the shoulders that were narrower than his.)
-"Yanagi-senpai." He whispered to the sensitive skin at the nape of the other's neck. His fingers brushed against his senpai's chest. His touch deliberately ghosting over the soft structures his lips and fingers caressed all night now lying hidden beneath the cotton material.
-Yana: (shutter) "Akaya."
-Aka: (knows the other's body is especially sensitive after their activity)
He clung onto him like he's clinging onto time. And ironically, neither is something he can hold onto.
"What do you say we take advantage of the situation and stay in bed the whole weekend?"
TH other doesn't reply.
(Aka: is going to America for further pro-tennis training)
(Aka: visits Yana for a weekend (Friday - Sunday) b/c he knows he wouldn't be back soon)
Three days. That was all he needed. Any shorter than that, he felt wasn't enough. Any longer than that, he feared he'd end up refusing to leave.
Next day, two wake up surprisingly early.
-Yana: (lives close to woodland area) (so autumn scene presented itself before him)
-(quiet neighborhood)(fitting for retirement, perhaps that was why Yana's grandparents had chosen to live in such a place)
-Aka: (maybe he was used to living in an urban area) (felt that Yana's neighborhood was too quiet, almost as if they were the only ones who existed in this world)
-But of course. That wasn't a bad feeling.
-Aka + Yana: (after breakfast) (took walk in the woodland trail near Yana's place)
-autumn: (so all trees are red and orange)
-Aka: (looks at trees and lost in thought)
-SMUT: veranda
-red-orange Japanese maple tree leaves fall and carried by the wind to the veranda
-Yana: (lay on back) (kimono opened and disheveled)
(body rocking to Aka's set rhythm)
-Aka: (Yana looks well-suited with the yardful of fallen red maple leaves) (compares Yana to autumn; the passion of the falling leaves seems to contradict the chilliness of the season. Just like, his senpai's passion was carefully hidden under his cool exterior. )
-(listens to Yana's low moans) (watches Yana's scrunched up eyebrows, his rare show of weakness)
-chilly wind blows, leaf falls from tree, blown toward their entanglement
-leaf lands on Yana's naked chest
-Aka: (awed) (leans down and catches Yana's lips with his own)
-Aka + Yana: (goes home after walk)
-Yana: (checks mail) (receives letter from friends)
-Aka: (thought about movies he brought with him) (goes to guest room /where he is staying at now/ and starts digging in his bag)
-digs out two DVDs ("Sweet Pool" and "Winter Cicada")
-goes out to suggest to Yana that they watch the DVDs for the rest weekend
-Aka: (catches Yana reading letter and smiling softly)
-(looks at envelope - from Yukimura-buchou) Well, not really buchou anymore. But old habits die hard.
-night before Akaya's departure
-Yana: (stands in front of mirror)
-Aka: (finds Yana in room, standing in front of mirror)
-(draws closer, gets freaked out)
-Yana: (tells him it's a mirror that shows you your inner state)
-"You can deny your feelings, regardless of the ugly and the beautiful, when you're distracted. But, you can't do that when you're standing in front of this mirror."
-Aka: (looks at crying young Yana in the mirror)
-"So then, do you have regrets, Yanagi-senpai."
-Yana: "Everyone has regrets, Akaya. More or less. The thing is, what are you to do about it?"
-Aka: (comes to stand in front of the mirror) (curious of what his inner state looks like)
-inner state: also a crying little boy
-for some reason, not that surprised
-Yana: "I see that you have your own regrets that you cannot resolve."
-Aka: (embraces Yana from behind)
-Yana: (lets him embrace him)
-Aka + Yana: (silently, as if already agreed upon, turned to face each other. He looked up. Yana turned to look behind him.)
-kiss
-end up in a tangled mess on the laid out futon on the floor, the mirror and the image it project forgotten to them in the moment
-Aka: (first time making love in Yana's room) (feels as if closer to Yana because he is invited to his room, to the chamber of his most intimate secrets)
-remembers how he was a bit envious of the Seigaku dataman, and of buchou and fukubuchou. They must have been to Yana's room many times already.
-shakes off the envy
-pulls off their clothing, lips still attached with Yana's
-feels Yana to be out of control as he is and gets more excited than he already is
-IN this fairy tale, loneliness wasn't the villain. It was more like a guiding light, a fairy godmother of some sort, who led souls to each other.
Because he saw his senpai's reflection, because he saw his own reflection in the mirror, he can say that they were the same people. As much as their out appearances contrasted so greatly from one another.
He always thought winter was the other's season. In that it was so similar to the other's nature, to the other's temperment. But he was wrong. Autumn was the other's true season. The seemingly chilly season.
"Take care."
"...Can I write to you?"
"Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
"Can I...come visit you some time?"
"..."
"..."
"...Aa."
END NOTES:
-"Sweet Pool" is a Japanese BL visual novel.
-"Winter Cicada" is a three-episode BL anime.
I find it funny that after a while, an author can really pick out similarities between her pieces. I was writing this piece when I suddenly realized that many of my pieces share similar beginnings and endings. In the beginning, characters set out on a journey, perhaps towards idealism. As much exploration they make, as much fun as they have, regardless of whether they achieve their goal or not, in the end, reality beckons them. And they have to return it.
Time Capsule Fairytale
Rating: M
Genre: Romance / Drama
Summary: One shot. Little by little, he led the recluse prince out from his cottage in the forest. Akaya x Yanagi.
NOTES: Impressionistic writing. Lascivious (?) Yanagi.
WARNING: Lemon-lime.
Their meetings are rituals.
They'd always find a way to meet. Or rather, he would always find a way, an excuse to visit him.
He never used all those "too busy," "don't have time," "don't have the money" kind of seemingly logical reasons not to visit the other. If those reasons prevented him from seeing the other, then that would mean he didn't want to see him as much as he wanted to. But he wanted to, because he really wanted to see the other. And because their meetings were already a rare luxury especially because he currently resided outside the country. If he wanted to count the times they get to see each other, he would only need the fingers on his one hands.
-Aka: (thinks of their meetings)
-started during their college days
-two of them have been in a relationship since high school; even though they went their separate ways after high school
-college: Aka got invited to study aboard for pro-tennis training
-visited his country during school winter and summer breaks; go visit parents and also his senpai
-not much intimacy in their relationship; got through his college year with hugging, kissing, fondling and the occassional mutual masturbation
-college graduation: he and Yana made love for the first time
-from that point, they would make love whenever they met
-he doesn't know what has gotten into him recently; he visited Japan less frequently; whenever he visited his senpai (usually he managed to pull out a free weekened from the pile of months), they would spend an entire day in bed, as if it became a make up for all the time they've been separate
-strangely, neither of them saw it as a waste of time; they would lay in bed and talk when they rested
"You know, even though Kawabata Yasunari received the nobel prize for literature, not a lot of people read his works."
"Oh yeah?" He knows this is the part he has to shut his mouth and listen. And try to understand. Try very hard. He usually just tunes out whatever doesn't interest him or is understandable. But his senpai listened and listened well when he talked. So he was returning the favor.
"His works are too deep. Too finely detailed. And the author's underlying themes are so obscured sometimes that you don't know what he's talking about."
"If this guy is so hard to understand, then why do you understand him?"
The corner of the other's lips lifted in irony. And his gaze appeared aloof, almost as if he was gazing at the top of some mountain in the faroff horizon.
"I'm the only one with enough luxurious time to read and analyze his works."
"You've got that right." He snorted.
"And. Because I, myself, am such a writer."
"Why did you choose to...sleep with me?"
His senpai didn't answer. Instead, he returned a question of his own.
"Why do you think?"
'Because you're lonely. Because I'm the only one here.' He wanted to say. He wanted to the other to object. But the other didn't because he never verbalized his thoughts, his accusations.
"Maybe it's how your actions speak out." A finger light touched his eyebrows as if carefully counting its numbers. "Maybe it's your eyes. Your intentions are clear. What you want to possess... What you desire..."
His senpai looked into his eyes as if looking into a mirror. And as much as people denied it, a lot of people still enjoyed seeing themselves in the mirror.
And he, too, stared into his senpai's eyes. The mirrors that rarely revealed themselves to him.
Yet when they revealed themselves to him, he only saw himself. He didn't see himself there intentionally as an object to occupy an empty space. Nor was his image distorted to match someone else's presentation.
He wrapped his arms around his naked body. Autumn midnights were chilly. But he didn't have any intention to put his clothes on.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. Every second ticking away reminded him of just how fast time slipped through his hands.
THe reminder worked better than any coffee.
"Senpai." He tried. He wanted to know if the other had already fallen asleep or not.
"Aa." The clarity of the other's voice revealed just how awake the other was.
"Tell me a story, senpai."
-AKa: (more interested in hearing Yana's voice)
-His voice was something someone would enjoy listening to at the end of the day, something someone would fall asleep to and take to his dreams.
-(somewhere in the back of his head, his imagination set up a futuristic scene. Of his senpai sitting beside his child, reading him to sleep. He thought his senpai would make a great father. Then he stopped his thought there before he could ponder about the woman his senpai would eventually marry)
-Yana: (voice cuts off Aka's disheveled mind)
-So he told him a story, like parent bribing his child to sleep with a bedtime story. He told him a fairytale. About a prince who ran away from home and found a little cottage in the forest to live in. About the mirror he found in the cottage that reflected not of one's outer appearance but inner presentation. About how the prince withdrew from the world. About the people who coincidentally got lost in the forest to seek shelter. About how the prince became friends with these strangers, and how they became strangers again when his friends departed. He told of the princes's fear, or rather, cowardice. That, even when given the chance the prince rejected his friends' offer to go with them to see the world. Instead, he lives like a frog at the bottom of a well. His only companions, the mirror and regrets that kept piling up in his reflection.
-Aka: "Remember that mirror you told me about? From the story?"
-Yana: (nods)
-Aka: "Maybe its existence isn't to show someone his regrets to make him feel worse than he already is. Maybe it's there as a reminder. Like you said, we're all human. We're all going to have regrets some way or other. Maybe the mirror's there to challenge people to work harder, to achieve their goals so they'll have less regrets. So that one day, they won't be afraid to look at the mirror."
-Yana: (silent after Aka's explanation) (Aka knows he is pondering his words)
-after a while, Aka sees the corner of Yana's lips lifting, and his entire expression softened
-"You might be a better fairytale storyteller than me."
-opens eyes and reaches out to trace around Aka's eyebrows, eyelids; even in the dark, his eyes still brightly
-"All your fairytales would have happy endings."
-Aka: (gets confused) "Aren't fairytales supposed to have happy endings?
-Yana: "Perhaps, for you."
-Aka: "No, every fairytale should have a happy ending!" He insisted. "Just because bad things happen along the way doesn't mean everything has to go down hill. If the hero falls, he just has to climb back up again."
-Yana: (looks at him) "You most definitely make a better fairytale storyteller than me." (small smile)
"Take care."
He didn't reply immediately. He paused, letting his senpai's simple words melt in his ears and drip into his heart to act as hope's fuel.
Then, he finally asked.
"...Can I write to you?"
"You already do."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"I already do."
Yes. His senpai always reads the letters he sends. That's why he still remembered him. That's why 5 years apart did not create much of a distance between the two of them.
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
The other didn't answer immediately. He listened attentively, waiting for his reply. Maybe that was the effect the other wanted to create. To remain silent temporarily, to make him listen carefully.
"Perhaps, I will be the one to visit you next time."
The prince, stepping out of the cottage he hid himself in to venture into the unfamiliar world.
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
night
Yana: age + pessimism; Aka: youth + optimism
battle between pessimism and optimism
winter vs summer
NOTES: Follows "Embrace the Sea." Akaya POV.
Warnings: Lemon-lime. Akaya x Yanagi, in that order.
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
SETTING: September - October / autumn
Yana: (ready to go away to college) (Sana + Yuki left already)
Aka: ready for third year of high school
He likes watching the other from afar. Like he did that one sunset day by the sea.
His senpai was someone who disliked being figured out. He wanted to be the eternal enigma, the unsolve puzzle. He doesn't reveal much of himself to anyone, even his closest friends. When someone tries to understand him and know him, he tucks his true self further away in himself, and the display he puts on leads the puzzle solver further away from his real self.
But to fool another, you have to fool yourself first.
Maybe in the end, his Yanagi-senpai would lose himself altogether just so no one ever finds him.
The price of the other revealing his true self is his distance. But he didn't mind paying that price.
He pushed into him. His rhythm slow at first. The other laid under him, unmoving. His closed eyes revealing nothing, his icy facade frozen in place.
Akaya pried his thighs open wider. He moved in and out of him in repetition, each time directing his thrusts at the point of sensitivity.
He doesn't take his eyes off of him the entire time. He watches. He knows he would see his icy facade crack. He knows the other wouldn't be able to keep up. In the battle between mind and body, the other's body always wins his mind.
He sees his brows twitch. Then scrunch up. His teeth clamped together lightly, preventing all sounds of pleasure and pain from escaping. His eyes aren't closed anymore; they're squeezed shut so tightly that water begin collecting at the reddening corners. His fingers grasped the bedsheets like they're his last bit of sanity.
As sick as it is to admit, he can't deny the fact that he enjoys what he sees. His senpai's struggle. Winter snow fighting against the warmth of spring. Security against release.
Niou-senpai's words ring through his mind. He told him, "We're all perverted, but we don't ever admit to that."
Niou-senpai was perverted. He knew in the way he used to look at Yagyuu-senpai.
He was perverted. And so was Yanagi-senpai.
Sweat is all over the other's body everytime they finish. It's like another day of tennis practice.
When he stares at his tired face, he can't tell whether the other's covered in beads of sweat or beads of tears. But it didn't matter. The other's tears, sweat, and even his liquid release were cold. Like water melted from ice.
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
-Yana: (writes short stories for literary magazine)
-gets letter from reader: "I've always been a fan of your pieces. I think you have great potential as a writer. But whenever I read your pieces, I can't help but feel that something seems to be missing in your stories. That they have some sort of "emptiness" to them. I am a firm believer that a writer's stories are meager revelations we, readers, get of the writer's mind and soul. So, is such emptiness a reflection of your soul? Forgive my rudeness. Thank you for your time." (letter is actually from Aka)
-Yana: (finds it ironic; writing is a way for him to discard his bonds (morals, courtesy, ethics, reality); but now, he finds himself being held back again even in his writing; that he was afraid of expressing his true self)
-or, has this wintry coldness become his true self, his inner state that has effected his writing?
-last smut scene:
-Yana: (calls Aka)
-Aka: (surprised when he sees Yana's name on the caller ID) (Yana hardly the one to initiate call)
-"...Yanagi-senpai."
-Yana: "I will be waiting for you."
-Aka: (words lit his fire) (rushes over to Yana's house)
-(finds the front door unlocked)
-Yana: (writing on veranda) (papers blowing in the wind, but a paper weight stopped them from flying away)
-garden: full of red leaves
-room: (packed suitcase ready to go)
-Aka: (arrives, first sees luggage, then sees Yana staring off into space on the veranda) (sees Yana contrast with the reddening maple leaves in the background) (feels heat in his navel) (calms himself and walks up the other slowly and sits down beside him)
-Aka: "...So, you're..." (words disappear when Yana kisses him)
-SMUT:
-Aka: (never seen a scene so breathtaking in his life - orange setting sun, leaves set on fire, and the heat of his senpai's body)
-Yes. Heat. Even with the chilly wind setting in with dusk, he feels hot. For the first time, he's not going insane from his own heat. His senpai's heat is the one that's scorching him.
-(thinks) Of course. How could someone born in such a season be so cold? Impossible.
-Yana: (gets thrown onto back, hand knocks over paper weight)
-gust of wind comes and sends stack of paper flying everywhere like shocked white doves.
-doesn't do anything to stop papers; didn't care
-After activity: both lay on the veranda watching the moon
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
-letters (like Tojitsuki Hajime's manga) - Yukimura and Sanada keeps sending Yana letters so Yana wouldn't forget them
-mirror of regrets - in Yana's fairytale
-prince wanted to freeze time so people wouldn't have to separate, parents wouldn't have been dead
"No one's home."
-Aka: (invites Yana over for the weekend)
-Yana: (University in Kyoto; leaving on Monday)
-invited to Aka's room; two haven't seen each other for an entire month b/c Yana spending time with Yuki and Sana
-Yuki & Sana: (both going away)
-Yuki: Sophia University
-Sana: Kobe University
-Aka + Yana: immediate smut when arriving in room
He pushed into him. His rhythm slow at first. The other laid under him, unmoving. His closed eyes revealing nothing, his icy facade frozen in place.
Akaya pried his thighs open wider. He moved in and out of him in repetition, each time directing his thrusts at the point of sensitivity.
He doesn't take his eyes off of him the entire time. He watches. He knows he would see his icy facade crack. He knows the other wouldn't be able to keep up. In the battle between mind and body, the other's body always wins his mind.
He sees his brows twitch. Then scrunch up. His teeth clamped together lightly, preventing all sounds of pleasure and pain from escaping. His eyes aren't closed anymore; they're squeezed shut so tightly that water begin collecting at the reddening corners. His fingers grasped the bedsheets like they're his last bit of sanity.
-Aka: (felt Yana's cold body, thought Yana didn't put on enough layers of clothing) (but thought it was impossible b/c Yana always logical, always looks at the weather before leaving home)
-(finds Yana's cold abnormal, but couldn't think of a logical explanation; SMUT made him stop thinking)
-Aka + Yana: (washes up after smut) (goes to bed together in Aka's little bed)
-Aka: (in the fog of sleep) (finds it weird how Yana's sweat, his tears, even his liquid release are all cold as if melted from a block of ice)
-rolls over with the intention of pulling Yana into his warm embrace
-only finds emptiness in space beside his
-sits up immediately, looks around room, pulls boxers on
-goes downstairs, hears faint voices in the downstairs
-sees Yana standing in front of the glass doors, looking to the backyard
-Yana: (talking quietly on cellphone)
-Aka: (can't really hear what Yana is saying, but Yana's voice is comforting--like oceam depths
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
"...So...what happens in the end...?" He was hoping for a happy ending. For some reason stories with tragic endings disturbs him because they bothered his mind, forcing it to conceive a happier ending to sooth his conscience.
Yanagi only shook his head. "I haven't thought of the ending yet."
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" The other knew of his preference for happy ending stories. The first movie they saw together was the first tragic movie he watched. He remembered complaining to the other about its ending.
Yanagi's lips lifted at the corners, persuading him to make his own conclusion.
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press