[Brainstorm] Story Outlines # 4
*crumples up paper*
Warning: Un-beta'd.
Time Capsule Fairytale: Preservation
Summary: One shot. There's only one way to preserve something you cherish. This is the only way. Yukimura x Yanagi.
Genre: Drama / Angst
NOTES: Unrelated to Time Capsule Fairytale: Paper Doll. Fairytale elements. Strangeness.
-Yana: (preserves what he loves in his writing)
-Yuki: (preserves what he loves in his paintings)
Ironically, the only thing they can't preserve is time.
-Yuki: (jokes about how they should do a collaboration novel - Yana will write, and Yuki can illustrate for him)
But Yanagi only shook his head. You wouldn't understand, he said.
What wouldn't I understand, he shot back.
But Yanagid didn't say anything. Not even when he asked again.
-Yuki: (read through Yana's writing pieces)
'We are so similar, but you say I wouldn't understand.' He laughed silently to himself. He didn't know whether he was laughing at Yanagi or himself. 'It's not that I wouldn't understand. It's just you don't want me to understand.'
One day, Yukimura sat down in front of Yanagi.
He studied him, studied him as Yanagi lost himself in his writing.
Then Yukimura picked up his paintbrush. When the first brushstroke touched the canvas, he concentrated his entirety on the canvas before him.
Paint wasn't paint. The liquid he dipped the tip of his brush in was the other's soul. He painted Yanagi Renji in his entirety on the canvas. The Yanagi who worked all day on his writing, who distanced himself from him. The quiet Yanagi. The Yanagi who made him feel less lonely. The Yanagi who killed him with loneliness.
He set his brush down when he finished.
There is only one way for him to preserve what he cherished. Whatever he cherished.
"This is the only way." He leaned in and touched his lips against the rough ones on the canvas. The figure in the canvas appeared like the deceased lying inside a coffin.
The person who he painted disappeared from his seat before his.
The only thing left that proved that someone sat there before was the sheet of half-written paper.
Phoenix Fossil Paradigm
Genre: Spiritual / Drama
Summary: The preserved cycle of metaphorical birth and death and rebirth.
A/N: Inspired by daily life, as mundane and banal as it is.
NOTES: PWP (?). Stranger than usual. Senseless (?) analytical conversations. Ambiguities. Alternating POVs.
Heart Sutra
sutra transcription - calligraphy + rice paper
rain (purification)
autumn (leaves like fire of phoenix rising up from ashes) - Sanada practicing kendo with trees in background reminds him of a flame within a circle of trees
letters
ambiguous contacts - hand on shoulder, face hovering close to face, subtle contacts
曖昧文 (^_^) / 脱俗
(**different visions between each character interaction - Yanagi's meditation. Each represent some form of purification)
"The more you try to concentrate on one thing, the more it slips away. Later, when you become experienced, you will not try to stop your thinking. You will let it stop by itself. You will let it go. You will realize that nothing outside of you causes you trouble or anguish or fear or guilt or doubt. When a thought occurs to you, and you spend time thinking about it, it is said that your mind has stopped at that point. This 'stopping mind' is the heart of the problem. When your mind 'stops' to question or decide or judge---when you are concentrating on that, you lose track of what is still going on.
"But the flow does not stop when you do. It just passes you right by. When the mind is stopped for too long, it causes you not only to falter, but maybe to lose days in responding to a problem. In Zen, an instant is too long for your 'stopping mind.' When you have guilt or fear or anxiety or regret or nervousanticipation, you are living in the past or the future. You must live now, in the present. In this moment! But how do you come to realize this?" (Book of Five Rings - introduction ,xxii)
I. Yanagi
Grey clumps of storm clouds cluttered the sky, sealing the sun behind their thickness. The sky's gloomy shade almost matched that of the roads' pavement down below.
Below, in what seemed like a scene that came from the end of the world, he stood on the abandoned road. Alone.
Alone with not an automobile, traffic light, pedistrian in sight. Just him and the abandoned paved concrete road painted with white lane boundaries.
The first wet droplet fell on the tip of his nose. Sooner than he realized, thousands more decended.
When he looked down to see the road a few shades darker than the sky, he almost got the impression that night had fallen out of the sky. The sky rid itself of the dark night. The sky purified itself.
When he lifts his hands before his eyes,he sees impurities run down them. The brown muck that originated from spontaneity covering his hands washed away, to muddy rivulets running down his forarms, revealed his natural skin color beneath.
When he blinks, he realized he is staring up at the blank, white ceiling in his bathroom. The rain he imagined to be drenching him and washing away his contaminations is his shower overhead.
But he couldn't recall when he had a shower at home.
Unless. Of course. The shower had been a convenient part of his former modern Tokyo residence.
The Tokyo in which he went to elementary school in and met his tennis doubles partner and became best friends with him...
...
A hand firmly grasped his shoulder when he completed the last stroke on the last character. He only turned to look at his companion when he set his brush down.
"Renji." A voice called out to him in urgency.
"Yes, Genichirou."
"You..." The other had on his face a look of disbelief--dark brows knit, eyes narrowed and squinted as deciphering the truth of his claim. It's rarity probably compared to the sight of the blue moon. "You didn't answer when I called out to you before."
Finding his completed work to be of a greater magnitude, he cast his eyes down on to the low study table before him again. His completed calligraphy script lied upon it undisturbed, while the black ink dried to the open air.
"I apologize. I did not hear you previously."
"..." The disbelief surfaced, becoming even more apparant. "You looked transparent... As if you were going to evaporate and disappear. I had to make sure you were still here."
"Nonsense." His words severed his worry. "I was right here. I sat right beside you the whole time. You thought I've gone somewhere else. But if anything, I have settled down even more in this world than before."
He peered down at his work, the work he diverted the entirety of his focus into. "I should thank you, Genichirou. For suggesting that we partake in this activity."
He looked to the youth who still did not recover from his spell of disbelief. Sincerely, he said."Thank you."
Sanada could only nod.
...
II. Akaya
A scene in a movie (Or was it a book?), went something like this.
A gigantic crimson bird with rainbow as its tail feahters burst into flames, reducing it to a pile of hueless ashes.
Then from the pile, a new bird arose.
The cycle of life began anew.
...
Kiri... Cut.
Aka... Red.
"So, I guess I'm going to live a life of hurting others and hurting myself."
"Or, perhaps, you are expected to cut your own path in life. That like the red flame of the phoenix, you will be burning with life."
-Aka: (wakes up) (fell asleep out of boredom of studying)
-(still wondering about the weird dream he had. The dream, or rather, nightmare which his devil mode still haunts him. But it had a different ending this time. This dark dream suddenly became a light one all thanks to somone's interjection.)
-The voice. He recognized the deep, quiet voice. Capable of muttering mischief. Capable of communicating knowledge. Capable of piercing with venom. Capable of soothing with subtle solace.
-He doesn't lift his face off the table surface. But his eyes darts around. He sees the senpai extract himself from his memory and sit before him in his usual tepid nature.
Then he remembered, he was helping him study for his first final exam in his high school career.
Maybe his senpai would scold him for falling asleep. Though, the other seemed to be too caught in his own work to notice that he had awaken.
"What are you doing, Yanagi-senpai?"
"I'm copying a sutra."
"What's a 'sutra'?"
"It's the teachings left behind by an elightened being."
His kouhai looked down at his work. He smirked. "I never knew you were religious, senpai."
"Religion is not making me do this. Spirituality is. Buddhism is not just a religion." He stops what he is doing and looks at the other. Straight in the eye. "It's a way of life." He knows his senpai is dead serious when he sees the other reveal his eyes of amber, in which determination made a permenant residence.
The familiar crimson light he sees in the depth of his eyes gives him the false impression that their places have switched.
The other now bore his name. And he, the others.
He sees sees red bird of rebirth, light a trail of flames. And he was the willow tree that it happened to cross path with and reduce to ashes.
...
III. Yanagi
He sees his own funeral. He sees his corpse in a casket, his hands holding a book.
He isn't buried into the earth. Instead, more books are thrown on top of his casket.
He finds moment ironic. Everyone had moments where they think of their own deaths and the preferred method of their demise.
His preferrence was to be buried beneath a giant hill of books.
...
IV. Yukimura
-Yuki + Yana: (studying for Final Exam)
-Yuki: (looks over pratices problems, throws his pencil down) (puts elbow upon table surface, and props chin up) (stares out at opened shoji doors revealing his garden outside. The garden he hasn't touched for months since he began looking at colleges and universities and studying for the final exam.
He can't say he doesn't have time to take care of his garden. He can't say he doesn't have time to attend to his single hobby.
He knows the "not having time" is just an excuse. He just chose not to take care of his garden, he just chose not to attend to his single hobby. He chose, instead, to make the excuses he never made before before he reached this stage of his life.)
-garden: (looks lonely, and abandoned. It's evident in the amount of weeds he let grow, in the saggy greens, in the absence of blossoms that have nothing to do with the season.)
-Yuki: (looks away) (turns attention to companion sitting beside him)
-Yana: (immersed in his own activity) (fine line marker in hand, held in the same way a calligraphy brush would be held. Extra supply of white rice paper he carried in his bag opened like an uncharted map before him.)
-Yuki: (The scene imbued him with an odd feeling. A strangely familiar feeling.)
-(sees Yana contributing concentration and effort into each stroke, combining them into impeccable kanji characters)
-(looks at the product. Knows Yana gets compliments for his handwriting from teachers and classmates. They all compliment him and say his handwriting is like fresh from the printing press. He finds this amusing. Does this not mean that people can become perfect machines if they try?)
-(he leans forward to see what the other was writing of.
The heart sutra. He recognized the familiar kanji characters. He already asked Yanagi about it when he first saw him transcribe it.)
-Yuki: (lifted his eyes to stare at Yana; notices Yana's figure becoming translucent, as if his actions were removing him from this word.)
-"Renji." He called, hoping to summon him back to reality.
-No response.
-Yana: (almost nearing the end of the sutra)
-Yuki: (eyes darted from paper to person; wondered if Yana would disappear once he finished the transcription. Disappear because the other didn't belong to this world. Because no such perfection existed in this reality.
-"Renji." He tried again. And tried again many times after that.
The other didn't respond until he finished. Fortunately, he only remained transluscent. He didn't disappear as he feared he would.
"You're totally into it."
Renji looked up. He waited for the other to continue.
Delicate fingers stroke the rice paper once permeated with wet ink. "I tried calling you a couple of times when you were writing this. But, I guess you didn't hear me."
Seiichi looked at him. "I'm just wondering why you like this so much. Why the (i)Heart Sutra? Why is it when you're writing this, it feels like you're lost in your own world. Like you're physically here, but not really."
Renji's eyes beckoned him through the half-slits of his eyes. "I am only attempting to live life. Like you have, countless of times."
Renji's words seemed to have snapped him awake. That's it, he realized.
When he tended to his garden. When he practiced for every match in the past. He was living life.
He lived life, and everyone watched and admired him for doing so.
If he knew to do so in the past, when did he become the bystander watching someone live his life and admire him for it?
-Yuki: (continued staring at paper) (He remembered reading somewhere some people wrote their goals down on paper and reviewed them frequently to prevent themselves from straying from their pursuit. Maybe he should adapt such a habit too.
Though, he had no intention of writing his goals down on paper. The perfection of his friend's transcription would serve as the best reminder.
"Renji." He refused to dettach his gaze from the paper, just like his new found will refused to stray from his goal. "Do you mind me having this?"
To his request, however, the other replied.
"Sorry, Seiichi. Not yet."
...
V. Sanada
Why were dreams so much like reality?
Perhaps to provoke regret, to provoke desire.
In his dream, he saw the back of a figure clad in white. The figure, a youth, about his height and build.
He should recognize that youth. But perhaps he forgot to bring the memories he stored in his consciousness into his sleep with him. For when he opened his mouth, no name came out.
Perhaps it was due to the color of the other's attire that bent and reflected the moonlight. Or perhaps it was the night surrounding him.
He looked translucent, becoming transparent, approaching disappearance.
He chased him. He wanted to prevent his disappearance. When he caught up to the other, he trapped the semi-solid figure in the cage of his arms.
Disappearance became an contagion. He caught the other's infection.
He saw himself become as transparent as the other. Though, for some reason, such a realization did not disturb the peace that unknowingly settled within him.
There was a question that never crossed his mind.
Why did he attempt to prevent the other's disappearance?
He never wondered. Because he wasn't trying to prevent the other's disappearance. He simply wanted to disappear along with the other.
.
Sunday again.
Renji arrived at Sanada's house for calligraphy practice. He finishes another Heart Sutra paper.
Then he composes a tea ceremony with the cleansed out spirit.
Genichirou sips at his tea. Till the last and final sip.
"Renji."
"Yes."
"Have you any plans for the summer?"
"No."
Sanada set the bowl down. "I am going to Nishio."
"..." His silence suggested him to continue.
"Are you interested in coming along? There will be a week-long tea-tasting festival."
Silence for pause.
"Sorry, Genichirou. I must be somewhere."
...
VI. Yanagi
Rain again.
This time, unlike last time, was still standing under the rain when he blinked. Blinking did not dispel the illusion of rain, because the rain was for real this time.
This time, unlike last time, he chose not to stand under the rain.
He opened the red paper umbrella he carried with him. It shielded him from the wet rain.
Then, lugging the backpack on his back, he headed into the abandoned misty streets, slowly traveling toward the destination he had in mind.
...
VII. Yukimura
(Yukimura ending)
He was in the garden. In the garden he neglected for who knows how long. Neglected because he pursuited other priorities.
Now, tall weeds reigned over all grass and plants.
He pulled at a weed beside him, near his foot. Pluck. As if that did not satisfy him, he pulled at another and another and another.
Until noon. Until afternoon. Until the mail delivery arrived and gone, and his mother called out to him about an envelope inscripted with his name.
-envelope: contents = transcription of Heart Sutra
-Yuki: (ends up burying letter into his backyard)
-The letter would serve as a reminder. He will come back to this garden. As long as the letter remains buried here.
...
VIII. Akaya
(Aka ending)
-Aka: (called Yana's house b/c Yana didn't reply to his text message, and when he called his cell phone, it went straight to voicemail)
-Yana's mom picked up; told Aka that Yana has gone somewhere for the summer
-Aka: (asks where Yana went)
-Yana's mom: (apologizes; tells him Yana didn't say)
-Aka: (didn't know when call ended) (but feels as if Yana wasn't ever coming back, which was rather a strange feeling)
-gets angry that his senpai doesn't tell him anything, even after they've known each other for so long since the tennis club in junior high
-Aka's mom: (disturbs Aka's frustration and tells him to get the mail)
-AKa: (broods)(obeys)
He received a letter in his mailbox. An evelope with a blank facade. No destination address. No return address.
The envelope didn't reveal much about the sender. Except for the fact that the person didn't send the mail through the post office. It was a case of manual delivery.
So he took the letter back in his house, separated it from the rest of the junk mail pile, and carried it up to his room.
There, he plopped down at his desk, and opened the flap of the envelope. Just as he knew instinctively that this letter was meant for him, he knew to open it carefully.
He pulled out a sheet of folded rice paper. And suddenly, he felt as if the letter traveled through time, traveled from the period of warring states his teacher currently based his sleep-inducing lectures on.
After all, no one wrote on rice paper anymore. Scratch that (he thought of a certain vice captain). No one wrote (underline)letters on rice paper anymore.
Though, what he unfolded as the letter he assumed it to be became something else instead.
A sheet composed entirely of kanji.
The Heart Sutra. He recognized it from the familiar character combination in the familiar handwriting.
His Yanagi-senpai's handwriting.
When the other left, he left him nothing personal. No memottos.
He, like the Enlightened One he spokeof the other day, left only evidence of a teaching.
Because that would be most useful to him perhaps.
The hell? He fought the urge to cuss out of confusion. What was the meaning of this sheet of calligraphy practice paper?
He stared, stared, stared, and stared.
Until night spilled through the window at his desk and soaked the rice paper's entirety with darkness. He could no longer tell the black ink characters from the paper.
Then, realization hit. He held up the sheet of darkness saturated paper. The paper that mapped out the most personal part of the other.
The paper heavy with the other's essence. The Heart Sutra in which he emptied his heart out onto the paper he wrote upon.
And he was now clutching the entirety of the other's heart's contents in his hands.
...
IX. Sanada
(Sana ending)
-Sana: (lugged luggage, passes by Yana's house)
-(going to Nishio) (had thought Yana would be interested--> tea-tasting)
-He and Renji shared many hobbies and interests. Because of this, they also spent much time together. He always invited him to events that he was interested in attending, and many times, Renji also agreed on attending them with him.
Why did he reject his invitation this time? Why did he do so? Why was he hesitant to spend time with him this time?
-Sana: (goes to Yana's house) (planned to bid him farewell)
He forgets that the act of bidding goodbye could easily be accomplished with advance modern technology. He forgets that all he had to do was to key in a few characters in his cell phone and be done and be able to go on his way.
Maybe being the traditional and old fashion personhe was, he still couldn't get used to cellphone texting. Maybe...
The front gate opened. He aborted his thoughts abruptly.
Renji's mother. She greeted him with a warm smile.
He greeted back with proper manners and a slightly bowed head. Then he asked of his friend's whereabouts.
"He went to Tokyo. Though he did not tell not tell me why he was going or who he was visiting."
"Is that so..." He fell silent with thoughts of his friend.
And the rice paper inscribed with Heart Sutra suddenly declared its existence in his shirt pocket. The heaviness that shouldn't have belonged to a thin sheet of paper.
Like the sutra his friend was fond of transcribing (for whatever reason still unknown to him), the transcriber was also a mystery.
A mystery many people attempted to figure out for a long time but couldn't. When they think they've figure him out, they discover that what they knew of him was merely a single, tiny piece to his vast enigmatic character.
Just like, the copy of Heart Sutra the other left him with was only one of the many copies he completed of the sutra. He must have left other copies he spent time so diligently inscribing with other people.
.
It started raining when he was almost at the train station.
Sanada rushes on train. His shirt and thin jacket was slightly moist.
When he settled in his seat, a sheet of folded paper fell to the floor.
It was strange. When the rest of his clothes and belongings were only slightly moist, the piece of paper appeared as if was pulled from a body of water. That it had confiscated the moisture from his belongings and attire.
He recognized the paper as the transcription Renji had left on his table after their Sunday calligraphy pracitice last week.
The contents of the paper must be a smeared mess.
So he peeled the paper open carefully.
He spread it out. Only to find the dripping rice paper completely flawless.
There were no blurs or smears. Because there weren't any writing.
The paper itself a sheet of blank.
He remembers his father say in the past, that a newborn is much like a sheet of blank paper.
...
X. Emptiness
He reached out to ring the doorbell.
A ring sounded and echoed through the house. Not a single soul stirred inside after the tone trailed off.
An empty house, from what it appeared to be.
But he stood still outside the gate. Almost adamantly waiting for the door to open and someone to exit and lead him inside.
He believed, he knew someone was inside.
Then, just as he believed, the front door opened in the distance, ever so softly, ever so slowly.
The figure inside approached the gate, approached him.
The gate opened. He entered.
END NOTES:
This is what happens when someone writes without a definable goal in mind.
Let this piece serve as a mirror for you. What you perceive will be entirely subjective. Though I must say, some bits and pieces were influences I've drawn from the talk of Zen in Miyamoto Musashi's "Book of Five Rings."
Why the Heart Sutra, you ask? Because it describes the world and this story so perfectly with its one prominent line: "Form is Emptiness, Emptiness is form." Now, the "emptiness" that is talked about in the sutra does not mean "nothingness." "Form is emptiness, emptiness is form" simply means that because change is so constant in the world that nothing keeps its form forever. The object that you see today, may be something else tomorrow.
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
NOTES: Cavity-causing sweetness. Alternating POVs. Follows "Embrace the Sea."
WARNINGS: Lemon-lime. Akaya x Yanagi, in that order.
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
(AKA POV)
"No one's home."
-AKa + Yana: SMUT
-Aka: (embraces Yana from behind) (his shoulders are broader, his figure stretched out vertically)
-embraces him like the sea like he wanted to be
-Aka's room: (painted dark blue) (seashells and dried corals here and there serving not only as the reminders of his dream, but also as lures to draw Yana's return)
-b/c his senpai identified himself as a sea person, the room most suited for him was a salt-water room such as this
-Yana: (only visiting for weekend)
-(leaving Monday morning for university)
-Aka: (as if wanting to prevent Yana's departure, holds tightly onto him, as if pushing him into himself)
-but feels strange that Yana's body hasn't heated up from their activity
-feels himself on the edge of combustion, but Yana's sweat, tears are cold like the water melted off a block of ice
-increases his rhythm, hoping his passion was contagious
-strangely, at the peak of their love making, the other's liquid release was like the rest of the other's body. Cold. Like wintry frost.
-even after they shower, even when the other drifted off to sleep in his embrace, the other was still as cold as autumn night
(YANA POV)
-Yana: (wakes up, slowly pulls away from Aka's embrace)
-goes to make breakfast
-didn't really sleep well; sleep full of dreams, of worries
-throws clothes on, goes downstairs, kitchen, rummages through fridge
-makes breakfast: omlettes
-Aka: (wakes up) (comes downstairs) (have breakfast with Yana)
-goes out to get mail
-comes back in, shuffles through letter pile; sees one addressed to Yana (raises eyebrow)
-"...Senpai. There's a letter for you..."
-Yana: (looks at letter handwriting) (recognizes handwriting) (no return address)
-"Akaya, may I work in the guest room?"
-Aka: "Sure. You've been here enough. YOu know what to do. Make yourself at home."
-Yana: (thanks him) (goes upstairs, gets folder, writing utensils, the book he carried with him to read) (goes to guest room, sits at desk and opens letter)
-reads letter (or rather note, for it was rather short and succinct for a letter) and looks at closing; no name, but he knows who it is from
-Yana: (pulls out cellphone) (speed dial key)
-someone picked up immediately after first ring
-Yuki: "What a surprise. I thought you'd still be in bed at this time."
-knows that Yana is an early riser, but when he is w/ Aka, it's a different story
-Yana: "...I received your letter."
-Yuki + Yana: talk
-Yana: "How did you know I was at Akaya's house?"
-Yuki: "Your calculative thinking rubbed off on me." (Yana can imagine Yuki smiling mischevously)
-Yuki knows that Yana's distance is a way to protect himself; that's why Yana didn't say goodbye to Inui
-Yuki: "Don't think I'm going to let you off that easily." (randomly)
(says will keep bothering Yana, so don't think he can use college and distance as excuses to lost touch with him
-Yuki: (asks him about the completed draft)
-"Let me guess. You didn't start yet."
-Yana: "..." (Yuki guessed right; Yana wasn't a procrastinator, but when something is on his mind, it blocks the flow of inspiration)
-Yuki: (sighs) "What am I going to do with you? If Genichirou knew about this, you'd surely be punished."
-Yana: "...How is he?"
-Yuki: "You have his number. Why don't you call him and ask?" (voice like sweet poison) "Anyways, I gotta go. Keep in touch. Bye."
-hangs up before Yana can say anything else
-Yana: (looks out window to see clear autumn sky & red maple leaves) (feels warmed by scene)
-(opens folder and retrieves piece of white paper)
(AKA POV)
(Yana writes story; takes till noon)
-Aka: (followed Yana to guest room) (entered when Yana sat writing story)
-sits on bed playing with PSP
-watches Yana be engrossed in his writing
-kind of jealous, upset b/c he and Yana have such a short time together, but Yana still working; he doesn't really mind because likes Yana when he is working
-thought about letter--is amazed how someone could predict that Yana was staying over his house
-thought lovers were supposed to be very close; but from the letter, someone was closer to Yana than he was
-thinks about the afternoon he took walk w/ by the sea
-wanted to grow stronger so his senpai would only look at him
-but even now, he was still watching the other's back
-sees kiss mark on the nape of his neck, revealed when the other bent over his work; Aka licks lips
-Yana: (finally drops pen) (pauses) (organizes papers, put in folder)
-stands up, turns, sees Aka, freezes
-Aka: (looks up from game) (pouts) "Senpai, I'm hungry."
-follows Yana downstairs
-watches Yana gather cooking supplies from fridge, and don on apron
-Yana: (cutting vegetables)
-Aka: (goes to embrace Yana from behind)
-takes whiff of Yana's light scent
-Yana: (calmly warns) "Akaya, I am making lunch."
Would have worked
-So he told him a story. About a prince who ran away from home and found a little cottage in the forest to live in. About the mirror he found in the cottage that reflected not of one's outer appearance but inner presentation. About how the prince withdrew from the world. About the people who coincidentally got lost in the forest to seek shelter. About how the prince became friends with these strangers, and how they became strangers again when his friends departed. He told of the princes's fear, or rather, cowardice. That, even when given the chance the prince rejected his friends' offer to go with them to see the world. Instead, he lives like a frog at the bottom of a well. His only companions, the mirror and regrets that kept piling up in his reflection.
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
"...So...what happens in the end...?" He was hoping for a happy ending. For some reason stories with tragic endings disturbs him because they bothered his mind, forcing it to conceive a happier ending to sooth his conscience.
Yanagi only shook his head. "I haven't thought of the ending yet."
-Aka: "Maybe the mirror's existence isn't to show someone his regrets to make him feel worse than he already is. Maybe it's there as a reminder. Like you said, we're all human. We're all going to have regrets some way or other. Maybe the mirror's there to challenge people to work harder, to achieve their goals so they'll have less regrets. So that one day, they won't be afraid to look at the mirror."
-Yana: (silent after Aka's explanation) (Aka knows he is pondering his words)
-after a while, Aka sees the corner of Yana's lips lifting, and his entire expression softened
-"You might be a better fairytale storyteller than me."
-opens eyes and reaches out to trace around Aka's eyebrows, eyelids; even in the dark, his eyes still brightly
-"All your fairytales would have happy endings."
-Aka: (gets confused) "Aren't fairytales supposed to have happy endings?
-Yana: "Perhaps, for you."
-Aka: "No, every fairytale should have a happy ending!" He insisted. "Just because bad things happen along the way doesn't mean everything has to go down hill. If the hero falls, he just has to climb back up again."
-Yana: (looks at him) "You most definitely make a better fairytale storyteller than me." (small smile)
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press
"Before you fall in love with someone else, can you say that you love yourself?"
-beginning of autumn, end of summer
-Aka: (got invited to study abroad b/c tennis skills)
-before leaving country, went to visit Yana
After the dark of the tunnel came the light of day.
The tunnel a bridge that connected two worlds. His and his senpai's.
It's end of August, and Kanagawa is still warm, and the leaves on the trees are still green with no sign of yellowing. But, Hokkaido is different.
-Aka: (admires the crimson maple leaves and thinks of the snow that would soom blanket this landscape in a month or two. Can't help but think how much Yana is suited for this setting)
-Aka: (rides train) (stares out window) (backpack with 2 days worth of clothes and underwear on chair next to him)
In his hand, he clutched a piece of paper he had bent, folded, creased, crumbled countless times. The tattered handwriting contained the address of his destination.
-gets off train, and suddenly felt that the light windbreaker he put on wasn't enough--air suddenly turned chilly
-after train ride, took bus (being careful not to fall asleep and miss his stop)
-Aka: (found Yana's address)
-taps on door (Yana lives in an older houses, so doesn't have doorbell)
-Yana: (answers door) "Akaya. (small smile)
-Aka: "Yo, Yanagi-senpai." (cheeky smile)
-enters and warmed up immediately
-Yana: (leads Aka to guest bedroom)
-"You came a long way. Rest a bit. I will call you for dinner."
-(leaves)
-Aka: (puts backpack aside) (drops down onto futon) (could smell light pine smell on the covers; knows that scented the covers before he came)
-(smiles) (even after so long, his senpai was still the same) Still the same perfectionist.
-did take a nap
-Yana: (woke Aka)
-Two: (had dinner) (bathed) (went to each other's room)
-Yana's room right across from Aka's
-Aka: (looks at guestroom) (feels as if he was sleeping in hotel)
-(sulks) (grabs pillow, walks out of room and goes across to Yana's) (sees Yana's room is still light)
-"Yanagi-senpai, I'm coming in."
-Yana: (sitting at veranda) (in yukata and haori)
-large hardcover book in lap
-turns around, "Do you need something?"
-Aka: (wonders how a single year brought them so far apart)
-irritated how Yana is treating him like an outsider---that distant politeness; but of course, he wouldn't think much of Yana's behavior if the other was the Yana he knew during junior high
-but he knew him for 5 years; and they weren't only acquaintances for five years
-"I'm sleeping with you tonight." (moves Yana's pillow out of the way so Yana's futon could occupy his pillow as well)
-Yana: "The futon will not be able to occupy two people."
-Aka: "Sure, it'll work." (goes to where Yana is) "Come on, Yanagi-senpai. It's late. Let's get to bed."
-(pulls at his hand) "Damn!" (pulls hand away, then reaches out again to cover Yana's hand in his) "Your hands are freezing!"
-(pulls Yana up from seat, closes door to veranda) "It's chilly. Are you trying to freeze to death?"
-(stuffs him under the covers and gets in himself)
-Aka + Yana: (awkward silence)
(Yana + Aka were in a romantic relationship during high school - H3 + H2; but Yana broke it off b/c he knew it wasn't going to work out because they were going to be far apart from each other)
-Aka + Yana: (spends days going over past)
-Aka: (pulls Yana out of his shell)
"You know, a lot of people are trying to leave their mark on your memory."
-morning of Aka's departure, Aka kisses Yana awake
-Just like Sleeping Beauty. He laughed to himself.
-before Aka leaves, tells Yana to answer their calls, how Yuki and Sana are both worried about him
Time Capsule Fairy Tale
-old version-
Genre: Romance / Spiritual / Drama
Rating: T
YukiYana
snow
愿意陪自己走下去的人
(quiet, J-Jazz feel)
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
[BGM: Sakine Meiko - "Silent Snow"]
June. After high school graduation. (*I am relying the American school system here)
-Yana: (gets text message from Yuki)
-Yuki: (tells him he is at school, and he should come see their school one last time before going off to college)
-Yana: (goes to school) (a single snowflake descends behind him)
...
-Yuki: "You know, the Drama Club asked me to make a painting for them to use as advertisement for next year's play."
-Yana: (goes to stand behind Yuki) (looks at half-finished canvas)
-saw script in neat stack of clipped papers; "Cicada Requiem."
-Yuki: "I looked through the script to get some ideas for the painting." (stares at blank canvas with troubled look on face) "But, I think I'm still used to having a model."
-Yana: (looks over to see Yuki look at him with mischevous smile)
-"Aa. I understand."
-Yuki: (brightens as if the trouble of getting Yana to agree was never a problem)
-"Great! Here, put this on." (hands Yana white yukata)
-Yana: (goes to change) (doesn't think much b/c Yuki used him as a sketch model many times before; especailly during his extended stay in the hospital during junior high)
-returns only to find it snowing outside)
-Yana: (opens eyes) (is completely, and utterly surprised)
"Snow...? In the summer?"
-Yuki: (only shrugs as if expected it the whole time) "Doesn't surprise me anymore. You really can't predict what's going to happen next in this world."
-"Okay, Renji. We'll take advantage of the scenery, then. Here. Stand in front of that window."
-Yana: (body facing window, but head turned back to look at Yuki)
-Yuki: (paints)
-(says casually as if talking to self, and keeps painting) "You know, in the process of reading the script, I found myself changing it... Along with this painting, I created another story. My own version of "Cicada Requiem." My own fairy tale."
-(tells fairy tale) (as if he had intentionally paced himself, he finished when he finished Yana's sketch)
-Yana: (looked at clock) (one hour exactly)
-Yuki: "Come. Take a look." (smiles)
-Yana: (walks over to stand behind Yuki to look at his canvas sketch)
-as if looking at a black and white photo cut from a scene in a movie
-(nods) "Very realistic, Seiichi. You have much talent in this area."
-Yuki: (smiles at him like an innocent child praised by parent) "Thanks, Renji."
-then eyebrows knit again; "But there is still one more thing missing."
-(gets tube of red acryllic paint) (squeezes some paint onto finger)
-touches Yana's cheek; "It needs some color."
-Yana: (cheek gets marked with red paint)
-Yuki: (eyes glitters with excitement) "Perfection."
-"I should've gotten a red yukata for you instead. You don't know how lovely you look in this color."
-Yana: (eyebrows knit in resignation) "Seiichi, lovely is an inappropriate to use on a man." (wipes at paint)
-Yuki: (shrugs)"Here, let me do that." (gets a wet cloth) (gently wipes away paint mark on Yana's cheek) (puts a lot of focus on task at hand, as if treating a precious artpiece)
-afterwards, Yana goes to change
-Yana: (goes to stand and stare out the window when Yuki started painting)
-(just staring out the window)
-Yana + Yuki: (share silence, but neither of them feel awkward)
-Yana: (just staring out the window)
-Yuki: (just painting)
...
[END BGM: Fei Yu Qing - "A Spray of Plum Blossoms" (一剪梅)]
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLYloWG3whc)
Warning: Un-beta'd.
Time Capsule Fairytale: Preservation
Summary: One shot. There's only one way to preserve something you cherish. This is the only way. Yukimura x Yanagi.
Genre: Drama / Angst
NOTES: Unrelated to Time Capsule Fairytale: Paper Doll. Fairytale elements. Strangeness.
-Yana: (preserves what he loves in his writing)
-Yuki: (preserves what he loves in his paintings)
Ironically, the only thing they can't preserve is time.
-Yuki: (jokes about how they should do a collaboration novel - Yana will write, and Yuki can illustrate for him)
But Yanagi only shook his head. You wouldn't understand, he said.
What wouldn't I understand, he shot back.
But Yanagid didn't say anything. Not even when he asked again.
-Yuki: (read through Yana's writing pieces)
'We are so similar, but you say I wouldn't understand.' He laughed silently to himself. He didn't know whether he was laughing at Yanagi or himself. 'It's not that I wouldn't understand. It's just you don't want me to understand.'
One day, Yukimura sat down in front of Yanagi.
He studied him, studied him as Yanagi lost himself in his writing.
Then Yukimura picked up his paintbrush. When the first brushstroke touched the canvas, he concentrated his entirety on the canvas before him.
Paint wasn't paint. The liquid he dipped the tip of his brush in was the other's soul. He painted Yanagi Renji in his entirety on the canvas. The Yanagi who worked all day on his writing, who distanced himself from him. The quiet Yanagi. The Yanagi who made him feel less lonely. The Yanagi who killed him with loneliness.
He set his brush down when he finished.
There is only one way for him to preserve what he cherished. Whatever he cherished.
"This is the only way." He leaned in and touched his lips against the rough ones on the canvas. The figure in the canvas appeared like the deceased lying inside a coffin.
The person who he painted disappeared from his seat before his.
The only thing left that proved that someone sat there before was the sheet of half-written paper.
Phoenix Fossil Paradigm
Genre: Spiritual / Drama
Summary: The preserved cycle of metaphorical birth and death and rebirth.
A/N: Inspired by daily life, as mundane and banal as it is.
NOTES: PWP (?). Stranger than usual. Senseless (?) analytical conversations. Ambiguities. Alternating POVs.
Heart Sutra
sutra transcription - calligraphy + rice paper
rain (purification)
autumn (leaves like fire of phoenix rising up from ashes) - Sanada practicing kendo with trees in background reminds him of a flame within a circle of trees
letters
ambiguous contacts - hand on shoulder, face hovering close to face, subtle contacts
曖昧文 (^_^) / 脱俗
(**different visions between each character interaction - Yanagi's meditation. Each represent some form of purification)
"The more you try to concentrate on one thing, the more it slips away. Later, when you become experienced, you will not try to stop your thinking. You will let it stop by itself. You will let it go. You will realize that nothing outside of you causes you trouble or anguish or fear or guilt or doubt. When a thought occurs to you, and you spend time thinking about it, it is said that your mind has stopped at that point. This 'stopping mind' is the heart of the problem. When your mind 'stops' to question or decide or judge---when you are concentrating on that, you lose track of what is still going on.
"But the flow does not stop when you do. It just passes you right by. When the mind is stopped for too long, it causes you not only to falter, but maybe to lose days in responding to a problem. In Zen, an instant is too long for your 'stopping mind.' When you have guilt or fear or anxiety or regret or nervousanticipation, you are living in the past or the future. You must live now, in the present. In this moment! But how do you come to realize this?" (Book of Five Rings - introduction ,xxii)
I. Yanagi
Grey clumps of storm clouds cluttered the sky, sealing the sun behind their thickness. The sky's gloomy shade almost matched that of the roads' pavement down below.
Below, in what seemed like a scene that came from the end of the world, he stood on the abandoned road. Alone.
Alone with not an automobile, traffic light, pedistrian in sight. Just him and the abandoned paved concrete road painted with white lane boundaries.
The first wet droplet fell on the tip of his nose. Sooner than he realized, thousands more decended.
When he looked down to see the road a few shades darker than the sky, he almost got the impression that night had fallen out of the sky. The sky rid itself of the dark night. The sky purified itself.
When he lifts his hands before his eyes,he sees impurities run down them. The brown muck that originated from spontaneity covering his hands washed away, to muddy rivulets running down his forarms, revealed his natural skin color beneath.
When he blinks, he realized he is staring up at the blank, white ceiling in his bathroom. The rain he imagined to be drenching him and washing away his contaminations is his shower overhead.
But he couldn't recall when he had a shower at home.
Unless. Of course. The shower had been a convenient part of his former modern Tokyo residence.
The Tokyo in which he went to elementary school in and met his tennis doubles partner and became best friends with him...
...
A hand firmly grasped his shoulder when he completed the last stroke on the last character. He only turned to look at his companion when he set his brush down.
"Renji." A voice called out to him in urgency.
"Yes, Genichirou."
"You..." The other had on his face a look of disbelief--dark brows knit, eyes narrowed and squinted as deciphering the truth of his claim. It's rarity probably compared to the sight of the blue moon. "You didn't answer when I called out to you before."
Finding his completed work to be of a greater magnitude, he cast his eyes down on to the low study table before him again. His completed calligraphy script lied upon it undisturbed, while the black ink dried to the open air.
"I apologize. I did not hear you previously."
"..." The disbelief surfaced, becoming even more apparant. "You looked transparent... As if you were going to evaporate and disappear. I had to make sure you were still here."
"Nonsense." His words severed his worry. "I was right here. I sat right beside you the whole time. You thought I've gone somewhere else. But if anything, I have settled down even more in this world than before."
He peered down at his work, the work he diverted the entirety of his focus into. "I should thank you, Genichirou. For suggesting that we partake in this activity."
He looked to the youth who still did not recover from his spell of disbelief. Sincerely, he said."Thank you."
Sanada could only nod.
...
II. Akaya
A scene in a movie (Or was it a book?), went something like this.
A gigantic crimson bird with rainbow as its tail feahters burst into flames, reducing it to a pile of hueless ashes.
Then from the pile, a new bird arose.
The cycle of life began anew.
...
Kiri... Cut.
Aka... Red.
"So, I guess I'm going to live a life of hurting others and hurting myself."
"Or, perhaps, you are expected to cut your own path in life. That like the red flame of the phoenix, you will be burning with life."
-Aka: (wakes up) (fell asleep out of boredom of studying)
-(still wondering about the weird dream he had. The dream, or rather, nightmare which his devil mode still haunts him. But it had a different ending this time. This dark dream suddenly became a light one all thanks to somone's interjection.)
-The voice. He recognized the deep, quiet voice. Capable of muttering mischief. Capable of communicating knowledge. Capable of piercing with venom. Capable of soothing with subtle solace.
-He doesn't lift his face off the table surface. But his eyes darts around. He sees the senpai extract himself from his memory and sit before him in his usual tepid nature.
Then he remembered, he was helping him study for his first final exam in his high school career.
Maybe his senpai would scold him for falling asleep. Though, the other seemed to be too caught in his own work to notice that he had awaken.
"What are you doing, Yanagi-senpai?"
"I'm copying a sutra."
"What's a 'sutra'?"
"It's the teachings left behind by an elightened being."
His kouhai looked down at his work. He smirked. "I never knew you were religious, senpai."
"Religion is not making me do this. Spirituality is. Buddhism is not just a religion." He stops what he is doing and looks at the other. Straight in the eye. "It's a way of life." He knows his senpai is dead serious when he sees the other reveal his eyes of amber, in which determination made a permenant residence.
The familiar crimson light he sees in the depth of his eyes gives him the false impression that their places have switched.
The other now bore his name. And he, the others.
He sees sees red bird of rebirth, light a trail of flames. And he was the willow tree that it happened to cross path with and reduce to ashes.
...
III. Yanagi
He sees his own funeral. He sees his corpse in a casket, his hands holding a book.
He isn't buried into the earth. Instead, more books are thrown on top of his casket.
He finds moment ironic. Everyone had moments where they think of their own deaths and the preferred method of their demise.
His preferrence was to be buried beneath a giant hill of books.
...
IV. Yukimura
-Yuki + Yana: (studying for Final Exam)
-Yuki: (looks over pratices problems, throws his pencil down) (puts elbow upon table surface, and props chin up) (stares out at opened shoji doors revealing his garden outside. The garden he hasn't touched for months since he began looking at colleges and universities and studying for the final exam.
He can't say he doesn't have time to take care of his garden. He can't say he doesn't have time to attend to his single hobby.
He knows the "not having time" is just an excuse. He just chose not to take care of his garden, he just chose not to attend to his single hobby. He chose, instead, to make the excuses he never made before before he reached this stage of his life.)
-garden: (looks lonely, and abandoned. It's evident in the amount of weeds he let grow, in the saggy greens, in the absence of blossoms that have nothing to do with the season.)
-Yuki: (looks away) (turns attention to companion sitting beside him)
-Yana: (immersed in his own activity) (fine line marker in hand, held in the same way a calligraphy brush would be held. Extra supply of white rice paper he carried in his bag opened like an uncharted map before him.)
-Yuki: (The scene imbued him with an odd feeling. A strangely familiar feeling.)
-(sees Yana contributing concentration and effort into each stroke, combining them into impeccable kanji characters)
-(looks at the product. Knows Yana gets compliments for his handwriting from teachers and classmates. They all compliment him and say his handwriting is like fresh from the printing press. He finds this amusing. Does this not mean that people can become perfect machines if they try?)
-(he leans forward to see what the other was writing of.
The heart sutra. He recognized the familiar kanji characters. He already asked Yanagi about it when he first saw him transcribe it.)
-Yuki: (lifted his eyes to stare at Yana; notices Yana's figure becoming translucent, as if his actions were removing him from this word.)
-"Renji." He called, hoping to summon him back to reality.
-No response.
-Yana: (almost nearing the end of the sutra)
-Yuki: (eyes darted from paper to person; wondered if Yana would disappear once he finished the transcription. Disappear because the other didn't belong to this world. Because no such perfection existed in this reality.
-"Renji." He tried again. And tried again many times after that.
The other didn't respond until he finished. Fortunately, he only remained transluscent. He didn't disappear as he feared he would.
"You're totally into it."
Renji looked up. He waited for the other to continue.
Delicate fingers stroke the rice paper once permeated with wet ink. "I tried calling you a couple of times when you were writing this. But, I guess you didn't hear me."
Seiichi looked at him. "I'm just wondering why you like this so much. Why the (i)Heart Sutra? Why is it when you're writing this, it feels like you're lost in your own world. Like you're physically here, but not really."
Renji's eyes beckoned him through the half-slits of his eyes. "I am only attempting to live life. Like you have, countless of times."
Renji's words seemed to have snapped him awake. That's it, he realized.
When he tended to his garden. When he practiced for every match in the past. He was living life.
He lived life, and everyone watched and admired him for doing so.
If he knew to do so in the past, when did he become the bystander watching someone live his life and admire him for it?
-Yuki: (continued staring at paper) (He remembered reading somewhere some people wrote their goals down on paper and reviewed them frequently to prevent themselves from straying from their pursuit. Maybe he should adapt such a habit too.
Though, he had no intention of writing his goals down on paper. The perfection of his friend's transcription would serve as the best reminder.
"Renji." He refused to dettach his gaze from the paper, just like his new found will refused to stray from his goal. "Do you mind me having this?"
To his request, however, the other replied.
"Sorry, Seiichi. Not yet."
...
V. Sanada
Why were dreams so much like reality?
Perhaps to provoke regret, to provoke desire.
In his dream, he saw the back of a figure clad in white. The figure, a youth, about his height and build.
He should recognize that youth. But perhaps he forgot to bring the memories he stored in his consciousness into his sleep with him. For when he opened his mouth, no name came out.
Perhaps it was due to the color of the other's attire that bent and reflected the moonlight. Or perhaps it was the night surrounding him.
He looked translucent, becoming transparent, approaching disappearance.
He chased him. He wanted to prevent his disappearance. When he caught up to the other, he trapped the semi-solid figure in the cage of his arms.
Disappearance became an contagion. He caught the other's infection.
He saw himself become as transparent as the other. Though, for some reason, such a realization did not disturb the peace that unknowingly settled within him.
There was a question that never crossed his mind.
Why did he attempt to prevent the other's disappearance?
He never wondered. Because he wasn't trying to prevent the other's disappearance. He simply wanted to disappear along with the other.
.
Sunday again.
Renji arrived at Sanada's house for calligraphy practice. He finishes another Heart Sutra paper.
Then he composes a tea ceremony with the cleansed out spirit.
Genichirou sips at his tea. Till the last and final sip.
"Renji."
"Yes."
"Have you any plans for the summer?"
"No."
Sanada set the bowl down. "I am going to Nishio."
"..." His silence suggested him to continue.
"Are you interested in coming along? There will be a week-long tea-tasting festival."
Silence for pause.
"Sorry, Genichirou. I must be somewhere."
...
VI. Yanagi
Rain again.
This time, unlike last time, was still standing under the rain when he blinked. Blinking did not dispel the illusion of rain, because the rain was for real this time.
This time, unlike last time, he chose not to stand under the rain.
He opened the red paper umbrella he carried with him. It shielded him from the wet rain.
Then, lugging the backpack on his back, he headed into the abandoned misty streets, slowly traveling toward the destination he had in mind.
...
VII. Yukimura
(Yukimura ending)
He was in the garden. In the garden he neglected for who knows how long. Neglected because he pursuited other priorities.
Now, tall weeds reigned over all grass and plants.
He pulled at a weed beside him, near his foot. Pluck. As if that did not satisfy him, he pulled at another and another and another.
Until noon. Until afternoon. Until the mail delivery arrived and gone, and his mother called out to him about an envelope inscripted with his name.
-envelope: contents = transcription of Heart Sutra
-Yuki: (ends up burying letter into his backyard)
-The letter would serve as a reminder. He will come back to this garden. As long as the letter remains buried here.
...
VIII. Akaya
(Aka ending)
-Aka: (called Yana's house b/c Yana didn't reply to his text message, and when he called his cell phone, it went straight to voicemail)
-Yana's mom picked up; told Aka that Yana has gone somewhere for the summer
-Aka: (asks where Yana went)
-Yana's mom: (apologizes; tells him Yana didn't say)
-Aka: (didn't know when call ended) (but feels as if Yana wasn't ever coming back, which was rather a strange feeling)
-gets angry that his senpai doesn't tell him anything, even after they've known each other for so long since the tennis club in junior high
-Aka's mom: (disturbs Aka's frustration and tells him to get the mail)
-AKa: (broods)(obeys)
He received a letter in his mailbox. An evelope with a blank facade. No destination address. No return address.
The envelope didn't reveal much about the sender. Except for the fact that the person didn't send the mail through the post office. It was a case of manual delivery.
So he took the letter back in his house, separated it from the rest of the junk mail pile, and carried it up to his room.
There, he plopped down at his desk, and opened the flap of the envelope. Just as he knew instinctively that this letter was meant for him, he knew to open it carefully.
He pulled out a sheet of folded rice paper. And suddenly, he felt as if the letter traveled through time, traveled from the period of warring states his teacher currently based his sleep-inducing lectures on.
After all, no one wrote on rice paper anymore. Scratch that (he thought of a certain vice captain). No one wrote (underline)letters on rice paper anymore.
Though, what he unfolded as the letter he assumed it to be became something else instead.
A sheet composed entirely of kanji.
The Heart Sutra. He recognized it from the familiar character combination in the familiar handwriting.
His Yanagi-senpai's handwriting.
When the other left, he left him nothing personal. No memottos.
He, like the Enlightened One he spokeof the other day, left only evidence of a teaching.
Because that would be most useful to him perhaps.
The hell? He fought the urge to cuss out of confusion. What was the meaning of this sheet of calligraphy practice paper?
He stared, stared, stared, and stared.
Until night spilled through the window at his desk and soaked the rice paper's entirety with darkness. He could no longer tell the black ink characters from the paper.
Then, realization hit. He held up the sheet of darkness saturated paper. The paper that mapped out the most personal part of the other.
The paper heavy with the other's essence. The Heart Sutra in which he emptied his heart out onto the paper he wrote upon.
And he was now clutching the entirety of the other's heart's contents in his hands.
...
IX. Sanada
(Sana ending)
-Sana: (lugged luggage, passes by Yana's house)
-(going to Nishio) (had thought Yana would be interested--> tea-tasting)
-He and Renji shared many hobbies and interests. Because of this, they also spent much time together. He always invited him to events that he was interested in attending, and many times, Renji also agreed on attending them with him.
Why did he reject his invitation this time? Why did he do so? Why was he hesitant to spend time with him this time?
-Sana: (goes to Yana's house) (planned to bid him farewell)
He forgets that the act of bidding goodbye could easily be accomplished with advance modern technology. He forgets that all he had to do was to key in a few characters in his cell phone and be done and be able to go on his way.
Maybe being the traditional and old fashion personhe was, he still couldn't get used to cellphone texting. Maybe...
The front gate opened. He aborted his thoughts abruptly.
Renji's mother. She greeted him with a warm smile.
He greeted back with proper manners and a slightly bowed head. Then he asked of his friend's whereabouts.
"He went to Tokyo. Though he did not tell not tell me why he was going or who he was visiting."
"Is that so..." He fell silent with thoughts of his friend.
And the rice paper inscribed with Heart Sutra suddenly declared its existence in his shirt pocket. The heaviness that shouldn't have belonged to a thin sheet of paper.
Like the sutra his friend was fond of transcribing (for whatever reason still unknown to him), the transcriber was also a mystery.
A mystery many people attempted to figure out for a long time but couldn't. When they think they've figure him out, they discover that what they knew of him was merely a single, tiny piece to his vast enigmatic character.
Just like, the copy of Heart Sutra the other left him with was only one of the many copies he completed of the sutra. He must have left other copies he spent time so diligently inscribing with other people.
.
It started raining when he was almost at the train station.
Sanada rushes on train. His shirt and thin jacket was slightly moist.
When he settled in his seat, a sheet of folded paper fell to the floor.
It was strange. When the rest of his clothes and belongings were only slightly moist, the piece of paper appeared as if was pulled from a body of water. That it had confiscated the moisture from his belongings and attire.
He recognized the paper as the transcription Renji had left on his table after their Sunday calligraphy pracitice last week.
The contents of the paper must be a smeared mess.
So he peeled the paper open carefully.
He spread it out. Only to find the dripping rice paper completely flawless.
There were no blurs or smears. Because there weren't any writing.
The paper itself a sheet of blank.
He remembers his father say in the past, that a newborn is much like a sheet of blank paper.
...
X. Emptiness
He reached out to ring the doorbell.
A ring sounded and echoed through the house. Not a single soul stirred inside after the tone trailed off.
An empty house, from what it appeared to be.
But he stood still outside the gate. Almost adamantly waiting for the door to open and someone to exit and lead him inside.
He believed, he knew someone was inside.
Then, just as he believed, the front door opened in the distance, ever so softly, ever so slowly.
The figure inside approached the gate, approached him.
The gate opened. He entered.
END NOTES:
This is what happens when someone writes without a definable goal in mind.
Let this piece serve as a mirror for you. What you perceive will be entirely subjective. Though I must say, some bits and pieces were influences I've drawn from the talk of Zen in Miyamoto Musashi's "Book of Five Rings."
Why the Heart Sutra, you ask? Because it describes the world and this story so perfectly with its one prominent line: "Form is Emptiness, Emptiness is form." Now, the "emptiness" that is talked about in the sutra does not mean "nothingness." "Form is emptiness, emptiness is form" simply means that because change is so constant in the world that nothing keeps its form forever. The object that you see today, may be something else tomorrow.
Time Capsule Fairytale Revival
NOTES: Cavity-causing sweetness. Alternating POVs. Follows "Embrace the Sea."
WARNINGS: Lemon-lime. Akaya x Yanagi, in that order.
[BGM: Mayday - "Eternal Summer"]
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown"]
(AKA POV)
"No one's home."
-AKa + Yana: SMUT
-Aka: (embraces Yana from behind) (his shoulders are broader, his figure stretched out vertically)
-embraces him like the sea like he wanted to be
-Aka's room: (painted dark blue) (seashells and dried corals here and there serving not only as the reminders of his dream, but also as lures to draw Yana's return)
-b/c his senpai identified himself as a sea person, the room most suited for him was a salt-water room such as this
-Yana: (only visiting for weekend)
-(leaving Monday morning for university)
-Aka: (as if wanting to prevent Yana's departure, holds tightly onto him, as if pushing him into himself)
-but feels strange that Yana's body hasn't heated up from their activity
-feels himself on the edge of combustion, but Yana's sweat, tears are cold like the water melted off a block of ice
-increases his rhythm, hoping his passion was contagious
-strangely, at the peak of their love making, the other's liquid release was like the rest of the other's body. Cold. Like wintry frost.
-even after they shower, even when the other drifted off to sleep in his embrace, the other was still as cold as autumn night
(YANA POV)
-Yana: (wakes up, slowly pulls away from Aka's embrace)
-goes to make breakfast
-didn't really sleep well; sleep full of dreams, of worries
-throws clothes on, goes downstairs, kitchen, rummages through fridge
-makes breakfast: omlettes
-Aka: (wakes up) (comes downstairs) (have breakfast with Yana)
-goes out to get mail
-comes back in, shuffles through letter pile; sees one addressed to Yana (raises eyebrow)
-"...Senpai. There's a letter for you..."
-Yana: (looks at letter handwriting) (recognizes handwriting) (no return address)
-"Akaya, may I work in the guest room?"
-Aka: "Sure. You've been here enough. YOu know what to do. Make yourself at home."
-Yana: (thanks him) (goes upstairs, gets folder, writing utensils, the book he carried with him to read) (goes to guest room, sits at desk and opens letter)
-reads letter (or rather note, for it was rather short and succinct for a letter) and looks at closing; no name, but he knows who it is from
-Yana: (pulls out cellphone) (speed dial key)
-someone picked up immediately after first ring
-Yuki: "What a surprise. I thought you'd still be in bed at this time."
-knows that Yana is an early riser, but when he is w/ Aka, it's a different story
-Yana: "...I received your letter."
-Yuki + Yana: talk
-Yana: "How did you know I was at Akaya's house?"
-Yuki: "Your calculative thinking rubbed off on me." (Yana can imagine Yuki smiling mischevously)
-Yuki knows that Yana's distance is a way to protect himself; that's why Yana didn't say goodbye to Inui
-Yuki: "Don't think I'm going to let you off that easily." (randomly)
(says will keep bothering Yana, so don't think he can use college and distance as excuses to lost touch with him
-Yuki: (asks him about the completed draft)
-"Let me guess. You didn't start yet."
-Yana: "..." (Yuki guessed right; Yana wasn't a procrastinator, but when something is on his mind, it blocks the flow of inspiration)
-Yuki: (sighs) "What am I going to do with you? If Genichirou knew about this, you'd surely be punished."
-Yana: "...How is he?"
-Yuki: "You have his number. Why don't you call him and ask?" (voice like sweet poison) "Anyways, I gotta go. Keep in touch. Bye."
-hangs up before Yana can say anything else
-Yana: (looks out window to see clear autumn sky & red maple leaves) (feels warmed by scene)
-(opens folder and retrieves piece of white paper)
(AKA POV)
(Yana writes story; takes till noon)
-Aka: (followed Yana to guest room) (entered when Yana sat writing story)
-sits on bed playing with PSP
-watches Yana be engrossed in his writing
-kind of jealous, upset b/c he and Yana have such a short time together, but Yana still working; he doesn't really mind because likes Yana when he is working
-thought about letter--is amazed how someone could predict that Yana was staying over his house
-thought lovers were supposed to be very close; but from the letter, someone was closer to Yana than he was
-thinks about the afternoon he took walk w/ by the sea
-wanted to grow stronger so his senpai would only look at him
-but even now, he was still watching the other's back
-sees kiss mark on the nape of his neck, revealed when the other bent over his work; Aka licks lips
-Yana: (finally drops pen) (pauses) (organizes papers, put in folder)
-stands up, turns, sees Aka, freezes
-Aka: (looks up from game) (pouts) "Senpai, I'm hungry."
-follows Yana downstairs
-watches Yana gather cooking supplies from fridge, and don on apron
-Yana: (cutting vegetables)
-Aka: (goes to embrace Yana from behind)
-takes whiff of Yana's light scent
-Yana: (calmly warns) "Akaya, I am making lunch."
Would have worked
-So he told him a story. About a prince who ran away from home and found a little cottage in the forest to live in. About the mirror he found in the cottage that reflected not of one's outer appearance but inner presentation. About how the prince withdrew from the world. About the people who coincidentally got lost in the forest to seek shelter. About how the prince became friends with these strangers, and how they became strangers again when his friends departed. He told of the princes's fear, or rather, cowardice. That, even when given the chance the prince rejected his friends' offer to go with them to see the world. Instead, he lives like a frog at the bottom of a well. His only companions, the mirror and regrets that kept piling up in his reflection.
"He wanted to freeze time. But he forgot he was also a part of it. Freezing time would also mean freezing himself." (Yana telling Aka fairytale)
"...So...what happens in the end...?" He was hoping for a happy ending. For some reason stories with tragic endings disturbs him because they bothered his mind, forcing it to conceive a happier ending to sooth his conscience.
Yanagi only shook his head. "I haven't thought of the ending yet."
-Aka: "Maybe the mirror's existence isn't to show someone his regrets to make him feel worse than he already is. Maybe it's there as a reminder. Like you said, we're all human. We're all going to have regrets some way or other. Maybe the mirror's there to challenge people to work harder, to achieve their goals so they'll have less regrets. So that one day, they won't be afraid to look at the mirror."
-Yana: (silent after Aka's explanation) (Aka knows he is pondering his words)
-after a while, Aka sees the corner of Yana's lips lifting, and his entire expression softened
-"You might be a better fairytale storyteller than me."
-opens eyes and reaches out to trace around Aka's eyebrows, eyelids; even in the dark, his eyes still brightly
-"All your fairytales would have happy endings."
-Aka: (gets confused) "Aren't fairytales supposed to have happy endings?
-Yana: "Perhaps, for you."
-Aka: "No, every fairytale should have a happy ending!" He insisted. "Just because bad things happen along the way doesn't mean everything has to go down hill. If the hero falls, he just has to climb back up again."
-Yana: (looks at him) "You most definitely make a better fairytale storyteller than me." (small smile)
"...Can I write to you?"
"...Aa."
"You're going to read my letters?"
"Aa."
He buried his face behind his neck. He took of a whiff, as if attempting to memorize the other's scent. The faint scent of ink and lotus blossoms. A scent uniquely his senapi's. He knows he is only doing so to stall time, to ready himself, to build enough courage for his next request.
"...Can I come visit you sometime?"
"Aa."
-end: Aka: (picks up new edition of literary magazine)
-flips to Yana's new story; he always picks up an issue of the magazine just to read Yana's story; he wasn't a voracious reader, so he wasn't willing to spend time reading stories that don't interest him
-Yana's new story is a fairytale
-finishes; the pages under his fingertips feel like they're fresh, hot from the printing press
"Before you fall in love with someone else, can you say that you love yourself?"
-beginning of autumn, end of summer
-Aka: (got invited to study abroad b/c tennis skills)
-before leaving country, went to visit Yana
After the dark of the tunnel came the light of day.
The tunnel a bridge that connected two worlds. His and his senpai's.
It's end of August, and Kanagawa is still warm, and the leaves on the trees are still green with no sign of yellowing. But, Hokkaido is different.
-Aka: (admires the crimson maple leaves and thinks of the snow that would soom blanket this landscape in a month or two. Can't help but think how much Yana is suited for this setting)
-Aka: (rides train) (stares out window) (backpack with 2 days worth of clothes and underwear on chair next to him)
In his hand, he clutched a piece of paper he had bent, folded, creased, crumbled countless times. The tattered handwriting contained the address of his destination.
-gets off train, and suddenly felt that the light windbreaker he put on wasn't enough--air suddenly turned chilly
-after train ride, took bus (being careful not to fall asleep and miss his stop)
-Aka: (found Yana's address)
-taps on door (Yana lives in an older houses, so doesn't have doorbell)
-Yana: (answers door) "Akaya. (small smile)
-Aka: "Yo, Yanagi-senpai." (cheeky smile)
-enters and warmed up immediately
-Yana: (leads Aka to guest bedroom)
-"You came a long way. Rest a bit. I will call you for dinner."
-(leaves)
-Aka: (puts backpack aside) (drops down onto futon) (could smell light pine smell on the covers; knows that scented the covers before he came)
-(smiles) (even after so long, his senpai was still the same) Still the same perfectionist.
-did take a nap
-Yana: (woke Aka)
-Two: (had dinner) (bathed) (went to each other's room)
-Yana's room right across from Aka's
-Aka: (looks at guestroom) (feels as if he was sleeping in hotel)
-(sulks) (grabs pillow, walks out of room and goes across to Yana's) (sees Yana's room is still light)
-"Yanagi-senpai, I'm coming in."
-Yana: (sitting at veranda) (in yukata and haori)
-large hardcover book in lap
-turns around, "Do you need something?"
-Aka: (wonders how a single year brought them so far apart)
-irritated how Yana is treating him like an outsider---that distant politeness; but of course, he wouldn't think much of Yana's behavior if the other was the Yana he knew during junior high
-but he knew him for 5 years; and they weren't only acquaintances for five years
-"I'm sleeping with you tonight." (moves Yana's pillow out of the way so Yana's futon could occupy his pillow as well)
-Yana: "The futon will not be able to occupy two people."
-Aka: "Sure, it'll work." (goes to where Yana is) "Come on, Yanagi-senpai. It's late. Let's get to bed."
-(pulls at his hand) "Damn!" (pulls hand away, then reaches out again to cover Yana's hand in his) "Your hands are freezing!"
-(pulls Yana up from seat, closes door to veranda) "It's chilly. Are you trying to freeze to death?"
-(stuffs him under the covers and gets in himself)
-Aka + Yana: (awkward silence)
(Yana + Aka were in a romantic relationship during high school - H3 + H2; but Yana broke it off b/c he knew it wasn't going to work out because they were going to be far apart from each other)
-Aka + Yana: (spends days going over past)
-Aka: (pulls Yana out of his shell)
"You know, a lot of people are trying to leave their mark on your memory."
-morning of Aka's departure, Aka kisses Yana awake
-Just like Sleeping Beauty. He laughed to himself.
-before Aka leaves, tells Yana to answer their calls, how Yuki and Sana are both worried about him
Time Capsule Fairy Tale
-old version-
Genre: Romance / Spiritual / Drama
Rating: T
YukiYana
snow
愿意陪自己走下去的人
(quiet, J-Jazz feel)
[BGM: Kagamine Rin - "Meltdown" (music box version)]
[BGM: Sakine Meiko - "Silent Snow"]
June. After high school graduation. (*I am relying the American school system here)
-Yana: (gets text message from Yuki)
-Yuki: (tells him he is at school, and he should come see their school one last time before going off to college)
-Yana: (goes to school) (a single snowflake descends behind him)
...
-Yuki: "You know, the Drama Club asked me to make a painting for them to use as advertisement for next year's play."
-Yana: (goes to stand behind Yuki) (looks at half-finished canvas)
-saw script in neat stack of clipped papers; "Cicada Requiem."
-Yuki: "I looked through the script to get some ideas for the painting." (stares at blank canvas with troubled look on face) "But, I think I'm still used to having a model."
-Yana: (looks over to see Yuki look at him with mischevous smile)
-"Aa. I understand."
-Yuki: (brightens as if the trouble of getting Yana to agree was never a problem)
-"Great! Here, put this on." (hands Yana white yukata)
-Yana: (goes to change) (doesn't think much b/c Yuki used him as a sketch model many times before; especailly during his extended stay in the hospital during junior high)
-returns only to find it snowing outside)
-Yana: (opens eyes) (is completely, and utterly surprised)
"Snow...? In the summer?"
-Yuki: (only shrugs as if expected it the whole time) "Doesn't surprise me anymore. You really can't predict what's going to happen next in this world."
-"Okay, Renji. We'll take advantage of the scenery, then. Here. Stand in front of that window."
-Yana: (body facing window, but head turned back to look at Yuki)
-Yuki: (paints)
-(says casually as if talking to self, and keeps painting) "You know, in the process of reading the script, I found myself changing it... Along with this painting, I created another story. My own version of "Cicada Requiem." My own fairy tale."
-(tells fairy tale) (as if he had intentionally paced himself, he finished when he finished Yana's sketch)
-Yana: (looked at clock) (one hour exactly)
-Yuki: "Come. Take a look." (smiles)
-Yana: (walks over to stand behind Yuki to look at his canvas sketch)
-as if looking at a black and white photo cut from a scene in a movie
-(nods) "Very realistic, Seiichi. You have much talent in this area."
-Yuki: (smiles at him like an innocent child praised by parent) "Thanks, Renji."
-then eyebrows knit again; "But there is still one more thing missing."
-(gets tube of red acryllic paint) (squeezes some paint onto finger)
-touches Yana's cheek; "It needs some color."
-Yana: (cheek gets marked with red paint)
-Yuki: (eyes glitters with excitement) "Perfection."
-"I should've gotten a red yukata for you instead. You don't know how lovely you look in this color."
-Yana: (eyebrows knit in resignation) "Seiichi, lovely is an inappropriate to use on a man." (wipes at paint)
-Yuki: (shrugs)"Here, let me do that." (gets a wet cloth) (gently wipes away paint mark on Yana's cheek) (puts a lot of focus on task at hand, as if treating a precious artpiece)
-afterwards, Yana goes to change
-Yana: (goes to stand and stare out the window when Yuki started painting)
-(just staring out the window)
-Yana + Yuki: (share silence, but neither of them feel awkward)
-Yana: (just staring out the window)
-Yuki: (just painting)
...
[END BGM: Fei Yu Qing - "A Spray of Plum Blossoms" (一剪梅)]
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLYloWG3whc)