snap crackle pop
SO!! WHO WANTS PROOF THAT I AM, AFTER ALL, THE CLUMSIEST, STUPIDEST FUCK ON THE PLANET!
I THINK YOU DO! YES!
So this morning, before I headed into Center City to buy a couple surprises for a certain someone, while at work, discussing my future there and whether or not I would continue or leave for one of the two prospective jobs I have calling my name, I decided to finish up a particular project I was working on.
Now, I'm sure most of you have been to a Kinkos. You know the giant rolls of paper in the back, where a lot of people in advertising use them to print out things, or some people use them to print out things for weddings, whatever?
Well, since it is an advertising company that I work for, those and high-quality inkjet printers (as well as other more singular-specific printers) are the only kinds we have around. And since we blow through so much of that paper, we have the huge rolls of it sitting on pallets all over the warehouse. Being that I needed to finish this, and it's always best to have a roll threaded before you being printing (for a slight test print and to make sure color correction is okay), I went to get one off one of the many pallets. This is quite possibly one of the most frequent things I do.
So I go and I pick up one of the rolls (with a giant cardboard tube centre), and the fucking things weigh like, 60 pounds, my right knee IMMEDIATELY pops and blows out on me and WHAM!
MOTHER
FUCKING
FUCKER
THE WHOLE STUPID FUCKING ROLL OF PAPER LANDS ON MY LAST TWO TOES
At first, I'm thinking, okay, I have steel-toed shoes, I should be fine, but NO!!
OH NO! They protected my ring toe, but my pinky toe is SMASHED TO FUCKING SHIT!
So of course immediately I have to get driven over to the hospital by Mr. I Upgrade My Big Black Jeep Every Year Jim, who I fucking HATE, and who does nothing but tell me how fucking clumsy I am the entire way to Jeff.
I go in the ER and what can they do? TAPE THE TOE TO MY OTHER TOE. "But securely!", the say.
But securely.
GOT A SMASHED, BROKEN TOE, BUT IT'll BE SECURE!!!
FUCK YOU.
I fixed their choking tape on the top of my foot. Here are some pictures from now, when I got home, for your amusement. Now I have to go see my Sports Med doctor, Dr. Doo, on Monday. And yes, that is is last name. He's indian. I'm not making it up.
*waits 564600 minutes for Photobucket to get off its ass*
*omg Photobucket is SO SLOW*
I always found it funny that I used to have a lot of freckles, still have a few left on the bridge of my nose/cheeks, but I have freckles all over my feet. Weird.
Anyway, that's the damage. And now I'm stuck walking with a cane for about a month or so or until I can figure out a combo of antiinflammatories and pain meds to get rid of the pain of basically moving the toe any which way.
So once again, I am completely useless.
Someone, please, put me out of my misery? I'm an old, worthless cow.
I THINK YOU DO! YES!
So this morning, before I headed into Center City to buy a couple surprises for a certain someone, while at work, discussing my future there and whether or not I would continue or leave for one of the two prospective jobs I have calling my name, I decided to finish up a particular project I was working on.
Now, I'm sure most of you have been to a Kinkos. You know the giant rolls of paper in the back, where a lot of people in advertising use them to print out things, or some people use them to print out things for weddings, whatever?
Well, since it is an advertising company that I work for, those and high-quality inkjet printers (as well as other more singular-specific printers) are the only kinds we have around. And since we blow through so much of that paper, we have the huge rolls of it sitting on pallets all over the warehouse. Being that I needed to finish this, and it's always best to have a roll threaded before you being printing (for a slight test print and to make sure color correction is okay), I went to get one off one of the many pallets. This is quite possibly one of the most frequent things I do.
So I go and I pick up one of the rolls (with a giant cardboard tube centre), and the fucking things weigh like, 60 pounds, my right knee IMMEDIATELY pops and blows out on me and WHAM!
MOTHER
FUCKING
FUCKER
THE WHOLE STUPID FUCKING ROLL OF PAPER LANDS ON MY LAST TWO TOES
At first, I'm thinking, okay, I have steel-toed shoes, I should be fine, but NO!!
OH NO! They protected my ring toe, but my pinky toe is SMASHED TO FUCKING SHIT!
So of course immediately I have to get driven over to the hospital by Mr. I Upgrade My Big Black Jeep Every Year Jim, who I fucking HATE, and who does nothing but tell me how fucking clumsy I am the entire way to Jeff.
I go in the ER and what can they do? TAPE THE TOE TO MY OTHER TOE. "But securely!", the say.
But securely.
GOT A SMASHED, BROKEN TOE, BUT IT'll BE SECURE!!!
FUCK YOU.
I fixed their choking tape on the top of my foot. Here are some pictures from now, when I got home, for your amusement. Now I have to go see my Sports Med doctor, Dr. Doo, on Monday. And yes, that is is last name. He's indian. I'm not making it up.
*waits 564600 minutes for Photobucket to get off its ass*
*omg Photobucket is SO SLOW*
I always found it funny that I used to have a lot of freckles, still have a few left on the bridge of my nose/cheeks, but I have freckles all over my feet. Weird.
Anyway, that's the damage. And now I'm stuck walking with a cane for about a month or so or until I can figure out a combo of antiinflammatories and pain meds to get rid of the pain of basically moving the toe any which way.
So once again, I am completely useless.
Someone, please, put me out of my misery? I'm an old, worthless cow.