wow...
today...yesterday...the day before that... why does everyone think i'm making such a sacrifice... My sister is livid with me, "maybe you hadn't notice but there's a war going on..." and other such foolish remarks... I've just gone cold... I don't care what they give me, I don't care where I go, and we all know that I have no problem defending myself... and I will be that more efficient at doing so after joining the military... don't worry guys, they probly won't be stupid enough to let me fly planes.. but I would do it if i could... It would be foolish of me to stay here + ruin my life through pointless struggle and mundane dissapointment... war is survival... the most basic instinct of humankind is to gain, possess, and protect ones territory... I'm so sick of being a civilian- bitching and moaning about the most insignifigant bullshit!!! It's enough to drive one insane. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a purpose, control, stability... And what's here? "Don't go Danielle, we need you"- fuck that! I don't even need myself, why would anynone else want me, let alone need me? I want this. I want the distance, the discomfort, the freedom... I obviously can't do anything for anyone here, becauz 1/2 the time people ask for help, but they don't really want it, they just want to be dramatic. And then when there's actually something that can be done, even if it's really fucking ridiculous... no one notices anyway... and then they want more... and you try, but you can't understand because they really don't want anything, they just want problems... well, must be human nature. SO here I go to have some real problems, and maybe be of some help to myself and those who are counting on me to do my job, the same way I'm counting on them to do theirs- then we'll all get out alive, and that would be a good feeling. I'm sorry if this offends anyone... no, wait... I really don't care...
I am exploring the inside, I find it desolate
I do implore these confines, now, as they penetrate, "recreate me"
I'm hovering throughout time, I crumble in these days
I crumble, I cannot, I cannot find reflection in these days
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
I am destroyed by the inside, I disassociate
I hope to destroy the outside, it will alleviate and elevate me
Like water flowing into lungs, I'm flowing through these days
As morphine tears through deadened veins, I'm numbing in these days
So...
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
I know what died that night, it can never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
[x2]
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
[x2]
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
So...
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) It dies beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
I am exploring the inside, I find it desolate
I do implore these confines, now, as they penetrate, "recreate me"
I'm hovering throughout time, I crumble in these days
I crumble, I cannot, I cannot find reflection in these days
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
I am destroyed by the inside, I disassociate
I hope to destroy the outside, it will alleviate and elevate me
Like water flowing into lungs, I'm flowing through these days
As morphine tears through deadened veins, I'm numbing in these days
So...
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
I know what died that night, it can never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
[x2]
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
[x2]
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
So...
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) It dies beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust