As we count down to the first weekend in May...
I have a sinking sense of dread at the forthcoming Star Trek movie.
I want to love it. I really, really do.
But I know it will not be Star Trek to me, and that will sadden me.
I mean ... at the risk of sounding like I still live in my mother's basement, the classic TOS episode 'Balance of Terror' is my favorite episode of any Trek series, ever. I mean *any* Trek series, *ever*. It is, for me, the Holy Grail of Star Trek. It has no peer, and it is the standard by which I measure Trekness. It's the episode that teaches you why Kirk is the goddamned Captain, frankly.
And so I'm *very* persnickity about the use of Romulans as onscreen villains for any Trek story that takes place prior to BoT. To me, as delightful an actor as Eric Bana can be in the right role, that role should not, for a Star Trek reboot, have been a Romulan villian, mmmkay?
"But, Ben, you say" -- and don't think I don't hear you, or am ignoring you -- "it's a reboot! They're *rewriting* canon from the ground up."
To which, I ask: So the fuck what? As someone who has no small amount of experience writing a shared universe backstory from the ground up, my lads and lassies, let me tell you a little secret: Retcons suck even when they have the official seal of Paramount, are done by J.J. fucking Adams with a kajillion dollar budget, and are hyped out the ass with marketing ties to BURGER KING. They suck. They *SUCK*.
Do you get where I'm coming from with this? Reboots and other retcons don't magically *erase your knowledge of the previous story from your brain*. So, yeah, in my head, I weigh it out: Balance of Terror. Kajillion dollar explosive-laden 2009 reboot. Balance of Terror. Reboot.
Yanno, I think I'll stick with Kirk making the Romulan Commander his bitch with cunning, with tactics, and with shitty 1960s 'model on a wire' special effects.
So, yes. I will see the new movie. I will even try to keep an open mind about what they *DO* with it.
But the first person to tell me that I have to 'let go' of what is my favorite Star Trek episode ever is going to have to learn to breathe buttered popcorn and sno-caps. And that's no joke.
-Ben
I want to love it. I really, really do.
But I know it will not be Star Trek to me, and that will sadden me.
I mean ... at the risk of sounding like I still live in my mother's basement, the classic TOS episode 'Balance of Terror' is my favorite episode of any Trek series, ever. I mean *any* Trek series, *ever*. It is, for me, the Holy Grail of Star Trek. It has no peer, and it is the standard by which I measure Trekness. It's the episode that teaches you why Kirk is the goddamned Captain, frankly.
And so I'm *very* persnickity about the use of Romulans as onscreen villains for any Trek story that takes place prior to BoT. To me, as delightful an actor as Eric Bana can be in the right role, that role should not, for a Star Trek reboot, have been a Romulan villian, mmmkay?
"But, Ben, you say" -- and don't think I don't hear you, or am ignoring you -- "it's a reboot! They're *rewriting* canon from the ground up."
To which, I ask: So the fuck what? As someone who has no small amount of experience writing a shared universe backstory from the ground up, my lads and lassies, let me tell you a little secret: Retcons suck even when they have the official seal of Paramount, are done by J.J. fucking Adams with a kajillion dollar budget, and are hyped out the ass with marketing ties to BURGER KING. They suck. They *SUCK*.
Do you get where I'm coming from with this? Reboots and other retcons don't magically *erase your knowledge of the previous story from your brain*. So, yeah, in my head, I weigh it out: Balance of Terror. Kajillion dollar explosive-laden 2009 reboot. Balance of Terror. Reboot.
Yanno, I think I'll stick with Kirk making the Romulan Commander his bitch with cunning, with tactics, and with shitty 1960s 'model on a wire' special effects.
So, yes. I will see the new movie. I will even try to keep an open mind about what they *DO* with it.
But the first person to tell me that I have to 'let go' of what is my favorite Star Trek episode ever is going to have to learn to breathe buttered popcorn and sno-caps. And that's no joke.
-Ben