12000 Furlongs to the Hogshead, and that's how I like it.
The Asshole's Guide to Passing the FE Exam
(or, How I Didn't Spend My Summer)
So you've decided to take the FE exam. Good for you. This is what you need to do to get ready in the months leading up to it.
Don't study
At all. Don't look at any of your notes from the last four years, don't pay for the ridiculously overpriced study materials, and definitely don't spend every evening the week before it cramming. This isn't a hard rule, though: if you feel you absolutely must study, go ahead and bring the supplied reference handbook with you to a restaurant and idly leaf through it while waiting for your food. Once. Two months before the exam.
Get a black belt in Search Fu
There is an art to finding exactly what you want. Learn how to use an index if you can't already. There will be four or five questions that are literally copied word for word from the reference book. For example, "Q: The transfer function of an inductor is...?" and on page 219 of the reference you have a little blurb on inductors and it says, "The transfer function of an inductor is ..." and it gives you the goddamn transfer function. A quarter of the rest will just be using a formula from the handbook. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to answer those questions. Related to this...
Read Wikipedia
Go to a random sciencey article, for example, the one on Maxwell's equations. Blindly follow links. If you leave science, you've gone too far. Ideally, you should have twenty-something tabs open and learn just enough to be dangerous. Do this every couple of nights, or whenever you have a free hour. The big thing here is to get to the point where you'll know you've seen a concept before, and hopefully know the sorts of things you can look for to find it again. If you happen to pick up Lebesgue integration or some trivia about block copolymers, so much the better.
Don't buy a calculator
You might feel the urge to buy a calculator so you can have a calculator for the exam. Resist that temptation. If necessary, rationalize it by deciding that list of allowed models is so short as to be retarded and that you're not going to spend however many dollars getting a crippled hunk of plastic that you'll use once and throw away in disgust because frankly you'd rather bite off your fingers than go back to doing calculations on anything other than a decent computer or maybe your remaining fingers.
So you've waited, studied (hah!), and prepared; you've done all you could and it's finally test day. If you follow these simple steps, you have a better than average chance of being me. I passed, so that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Don't bring a calculator
Do all of the math in your head and (for long division and square roots) on a sheet of paper. On the questions that you have to do any math at all (about two thirds), most of the time if you can get within an order of magnitude of the real value, you'll be able to answer the question. The rest, you only need to be within 10%. And if you can't get within 10% using your brain then I hope you're pretty.
If people ask, you might want to make something up about having forgotten it so they don't think you're a stupid crazy asshole but they probably will anyway and most likely have for years.
Don't eat lunch
Make absolutely sure you go somewhere that there is apparently no food to be bought because they're closed or some bullshit. I hear that this time there will be food provided, so this might not apply.
Take a few minutes to kill time
Every few problems, stop and try to figure out how the test writers got the other four obviously wrong answers and wonder how many of your peers are chumps who routinely mix up addition and subtraction. Sneer a little. Let insecurity creep in. Wonder if it could be you who is the chump. Get your results back months later and realize that, no, it's them.
Do the other tests
If your major is, say, Chemical Engineering, spend the first forty minutes or so of the second half doing parts of the Electrical, Mechanical, and Industrial Engineering tests. Then get bored and start doing your test for real, even if you're fairly sure you could pass those other ones, you know, as a joke. Finish about 10 minutes ahead of time. Think about having sex with the girl next to you until you notice she's from DelTech; reassert your philosophy of not sticking your dick in stupid.
(or, How I Didn't Spend My Summer)
So you've decided to take the FE exam. Good for you. This is what you need to do to get ready in the months leading up to it.
Don't study
At all. Don't look at any of your notes from the last four years, don't pay for the ridiculously overpriced study materials, and definitely don't spend every evening the week before it cramming. This isn't a hard rule, though: if you feel you absolutely must study, go ahead and bring the supplied reference handbook with you to a restaurant and idly leaf through it while waiting for your food. Once. Two months before the exam.
Get a black belt in Search Fu
There is an art to finding exactly what you want. Learn how to use an index if you can't already. There will be four or five questions that are literally copied word for word from the reference book. For example, "Q: The transfer function of an inductor is...?" and on page 219 of the reference you have a little blurb on inductors and it says, "The transfer function of an inductor is ..." and it gives you the goddamn transfer function. A quarter of the rest will just be using a formula from the handbook. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to answer those questions. Related to this...
Read Wikipedia
Go to a random sciencey article, for example, the one on Maxwell's equations. Blindly follow links. If you leave science, you've gone too far. Ideally, you should have twenty-something tabs open and learn just enough to be dangerous. Do this every couple of nights, or whenever you have a free hour. The big thing here is to get to the point where you'll know you've seen a concept before, and hopefully know the sorts of things you can look for to find it again. If you happen to pick up Lebesgue integration or some trivia about block copolymers, so much the better.
Don't buy a calculator
You might feel the urge to buy a calculator so you can have a calculator for the exam. Resist that temptation. If necessary, rationalize it by deciding that list of allowed models is so short as to be retarded and that you're not going to spend however many dollars getting a crippled hunk of plastic that you'll use once and throw away in disgust because frankly you'd rather bite off your fingers than go back to doing calculations on anything other than a decent computer or maybe your remaining fingers.
So you've waited, studied (hah!), and prepared; you've done all you could and it's finally test day. If you follow these simple steps, you have a better than average chance of being me. I passed, so that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Don't bring a calculator
Do all of the math in your head and (for long division and square roots) on a sheet of paper. On the questions that you have to do any math at all (about two thirds), most of the time if you can get within an order of magnitude of the real value, you'll be able to answer the question. The rest, you only need to be within 10%. And if you can't get within 10% using your brain then I hope you're pretty.
If people ask, you might want to make something up about having forgotten it so they don't think you're a stupid crazy asshole but they probably will anyway and most likely have for years.
Don't eat lunch
Make absolutely sure you go somewhere that there is apparently no food to be bought because they're closed or some bullshit. I hear that this time there will be food provided, so this might not apply.
Take a few minutes to kill time
Every few problems, stop and try to figure out how the test writers got the other four obviously wrong answers and wonder how many of your peers are chumps who routinely mix up addition and subtraction. Sneer a little. Let insecurity creep in. Wonder if it could be you who is the chump. Get your results back months later and realize that, no, it's them.
Do the other tests
If your major is, say, Chemical Engineering, spend the first forty minutes or so of the second half doing parts of the Electrical, Mechanical, and Industrial Engineering tests. Then get bored and start doing your test for real, even if you're fairly sure you could pass those other ones, you know, as a joke. Finish about 10 minutes ahead of time. Think about having sex with the girl next to you until you notice she's from DelTech; reassert your philosophy of not sticking your dick in stupid.