how i made a drug dealer chuckle
yesterday i took my aunt some place for drinks, and as soon as i walked in the door this guy asked to buy me a drink. why not? so we went to the bar, and while we were standing there waiting for the drink orders, i began to notice he was sparkling pretty brightly.
when it comes to male-female relations, i am so slow on the uptake! it takes me like four times as long to realize things other women realize in seconds. first i saw a long necklace with "diamonds" set into the length (i use the term "diamonds" bc i cant validate their authenticity), and i thought to myself, "look it's one of those necklaces from BET". then i looked at his ears, which were heavy with big square "diamonds", and i thought "wow, those are some big ass earrings". then i saw his thick ass "diamond" bracelet and thought, "how vain is that-- this guy has on more jewelry than a woman! wait a..." then i noticed his shirt, which i originally thought was just black, was sparkled up with a bedazzler machine. like this:
then he turns to me and does a low flash of a thick fold of money. i'm staring at it uncomprehendingly, and i guess he interpreted it as i'm not impressed, so he pulls out a second fold of money and flips the two around in his hand. i'm looking around like "what is wrong with this dude?" and i guess he interprets that as i'm still not impressed, so he takes out a third wad of money. at this point i'm freaking out and i think i may have said, "what the fuck?" i was thinking in my head, "is this dude a drug dealer?"
he smiles, gestures one of the wads at me and says, "you want this? take this, spend this..." i have a fast imagination. i chuckled softly as i imagined myself in Lenox Mall paying for a $850 Louis Vuitton bag with ALL ONES, while snapping my gum loud and primping a streaky blonde weave cascading down my back. i looked down at the wad and thought, "yeah, right, and get charged for something stupid like money laundering" then i imagined myself in a scene of New Jack City, with me playing Michael Michele's character (Nino Brown's gf) being held down with a gun to my head and money scattered about a la Pookie:
lol that shit is real for me! growing up i thought New Jack City was a biopic! it was my favorite childhood movie, after "Jo Jo Dancer: Your Life is Calling"!!!
i gave him a look like, "you must be joking" and said "...YOU spend it." he stood looking dumbfounded for a minute, then threw his head back and laughed. after that we were cool, we stood and talked a bit more while waiting for the drinks, which he paid for and let me get the hell on. much to my relief.
when it comes to male-female relations, i am so slow on the uptake! it takes me like four times as long to realize things other women realize in seconds. first i saw a long necklace with "diamonds" set into the length (i use the term "diamonds" bc i cant validate their authenticity), and i thought to myself, "look it's one of those necklaces from BET". then i looked at his ears, which were heavy with big square "diamonds", and i thought "wow, those are some big ass earrings". then i saw his thick ass "diamond" bracelet and thought, "how vain is that-- this guy has on more jewelry than a woman! wait a..." then i noticed his shirt, which i originally thought was just black, was sparkled up with a bedazzler machine. like this:
then he turns to me and does a low flash of a thick fold of money. i'm staring at it uncomprehendingly, and i guess he interpreted it as i'm not impressed, so he pulls out a second fold of money and flips the two around in his hand. i'm looking around like "what is wrong with this dude?" and i guess he interprets that as i'm still not impressed, so he takes out a third wad of money. at this point i'm freaking out and i think i may have said, "what the fuck?" i was thinking in my head, "is this dude a drug dealer?"
he smiles, gestures one of the wads at me and says, "you want this? take this, spend this..." i have a fast imagination. i chuckled softly as i imagined myself in Lenox Mall paying for a $850 Louis Vuitton bag with ALL ONES, while snapping my gum loud and primping a streaky blonde weave cascading down my back. i looked down at the wad and thought, "yeah, right, and get charged for something stupid like money laundering" then i imagined myself in a scene of New Jack City, with me playing Michael Michele's character (Nino Brown's gf) being held down with a gun to my head and money scattered about a la Pookie:
lol that shit is real for me! growing up i thought New Jack City was a biopic! it was my favorite childhood movie, after "Jo Jo Dancer: Your Life is Calling"!!!
i gave him a look like, "you must be joking" and said "...YOU spend it." he stood looking dumbfounded for a minute, then threw his head back and laughed. after that we were cool, we stood and talked a bit more while waiting for the drinks, which he paid for and let me get the hell on. much to my relief.