Thanks to My Father
[ Music: Oblivion by Lustmord ]
Dear Journal,
I don't know what to think of this case. I don't know if I want to think about it at all.
I wonder if that bastard Sangrey is keeping good care of Inkblot and Page. They're just kittens and fucking fel I bet he ate them already or something. Light I hate him so much. Why did she let him stay with us?!?!
Mom Sid and Dad brought us on the ship most of the way. We trekked the rest to Alterac by foot. It's been... a while since we got the case and we've only just now arrived at the scene.
Things were calm and happy for the most part. No problems. I was happy Delaurac didn't break down and confess all these lies we've been keeping from them.
She's a good person.
It worries me.
A lot of things worry me. Being in this place worries me. This isn't a good place. Alterac is not a good place. This is a bad place. Alterac is a bad place. It is cold and
it is bad and there are dead things here. Dead mages. There are so many dead mages here.
Lordaeron is so close. The plaguelands are just down the mountainside. Quel'Thalas beyond there.
And freezing my ass off in the snow, I wonder about running away to there No I don't. That's a lie. Raoul, you are a liar because your father is a liar and his father was a mage and your mother was probably a mage.
Everything in your blood is corrupt and deceitful and that is why you are sitting here freezing in the snow.
You allowed your future wife to be unfaithful because you were a coward. ARE
You stopped upholding the tenets of the Church because you were selfish. ARE
You let people die because you were weak. ARE
Deo Gratias, for all that I have even though I do not deserve most of it.
I have saved a few people with this magic, and Delaurac's magic. I have done more than I could have done without it. Sherry was right about that. For as bad a person as I am, I would be worse if not for my magic. I have prayed long and hard for guidance on why the very thing that condemns me is also my only saving grace.
But all my meditations have proved worthless. Maybe the answers are simply not in me to be found.
I am glad Delaurac has been putting more effort into this case than I am.
I know it is wrong to assume the mages simply left, especially after what we found here. They all got sick. We don't know how or with what, but they're all gone now. There's no one left to ask. Delaurac found a woman's severed finger and a grave. The finger had a signet of the Church.
We're travelling to the next outpost. Still a day to go. I hate travelling by foot. I hate sleeping out here in the wilderness. I have bad dreams when I can hear the wind and the wolves and the ogres with their FUCKING BELCHES AND THE FORSAKEN AND THEIR WAR MACHINES GRINDING GRINDING GRINDING BUBBLE HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I had a dream except it wasn't entirely a dream.
I mean, it was a dream, it wasn't like, happening in front of me or some crazy shit like Delaurac goes through, but I just mean inside the dream wasn't all really a dream. Some of it was memories. Changed a little. Not quite right. I dreamed about the time Sherry took me to that little chapel, when
she sat me down and told me I was going to spend eternity in the Twisting Nether or something when I died.
Everything was exaggerated though. The ceiling was so high I couldn't see it. She was so much taller than me, everything was so much taller, and the shadows were all skinny. It was like the spires of Dalaran had turned to bone and then been consumed by shadow.
It was just fucking weird and I don't even know.
I can't stop thinking about it. I know dreams don't mean shit but I got to thinking about the Forsaken because we're so close to
them. Sometimes you see them in Dalaran. Shambling corpses. I can't believe they're allowed into Dalaran. I can't believe after all the Scourge has done to Quel'Thalas and Lordaeron, that they would allow WALKING CORPSES just to honor some bullshit agreements with the Sunreavers. The Sin'dorei...
Sherry's sin'dorei now. Auntie was probably one of the first sin'dorei. She was probably a sin'dorei before it was their 'thing' as a whole kingdom to just use the fel. Auntie-
I want the priestess to be our priority. I'm sure it was a priestess that lost her finger and I want to find her before anyone else. The mages are damned anyway but if we can find the priestess at least, then that's something worth more than our actual assignment. That's saving an actual soul. A clean soul.
I'm tired of letting people die.
I'm just tired.
I think Val was right. I'm a terrible agent and a piss poor son. I've done nothing but lean on my father since I met him
I will pray more while Delaurac sleeps. I can't find strength in myself if all I do is doubt myself. I have assets that can save lives and that's what I'm going to do. I'm
not a hero. Delaurac sure as hell isn't a hero either. But that doesn't give me an excuse not to try.
“Deo Gratias” and lore from Wowwiki, citing Day of the Dragon by Richard A. Knaak