What Is Intended
I don’t know what to tell you.
“I thought you weren’t leaving anymore. Val? Val!” He beats a fist against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
Why would I ever be true to you?
“Val, come back! Let’s talk about this-...” He shoulders slump and he rests his head against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
Why would anyone ever be true to you?
“Let’s talk about this...” He knows she’s gone now. He turns and leans his back against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
“I’m not saying that she didn’t- doesn’t, deserve it. I’m saying this isn’t the right way. This isn’t the right path. This isn’t how you fix the problem, George. You can’t lock her in a cell and just hope that she gets better. You have to let me help her.”
Raoul folded the missive up once he had read it aloud to himself in the kitchen. The morning felt colder in Dalaran than Ironforge had been. The night had been warm and cozy. Linen, wool, jerky, stone. The press of Amavia’s flesh against him, her bones beneath him.
Cuddling wasn’t something he knew too much about in an intimate context. Not before Amavia anyway. As he turned the eggs on the skillet, Raoul’s expression lost its charm. Before Amavia was Valerie. There was no reason to smile when thinking about Valerie.
Valerie Starlet.
Damn. She really was a star, wasn’t she?
He whistled sharply and flipped a pancake on the other side of the stove. It was nice to spend the night at his father’s flat in Ironforge. It was nice to sit beside Amavia at the table and listen to Sid’s tall tales. It was nice to hear what a hero his father was.
“I’m not a hero.” Raoul told himself. Or maybe he was talking to the pancakes. Who really knew? Maybe he didn’t even realize he’d said it. Things slipped out when he was alone. Those private thoughts weren’t so private anymore when he didn’t have to actively pretend for the sake of others.
It was the truth really, just gasping for air before it was submerged again.
He’d spent the entire night in the same room as his father and said nothing.
He’d knelt in the corner and prayed to the Holy Light, yet confessed nothing.
No matter how many times things replayed themselves, the outcome never changed. Life was an endless loop of chances and he was content to throw them all away. All he had was this charade. All he had were these smiles and the laughter, the planning and the pride. Amavia had once threatened to pull that out from under him, always telling the truth even when Raoul tried to play it off.
But now Raoul had her in the web too.
She couldn’t tell his secrets without telling her own.
He whistled a happier tune, knowing she’d hear it from the bedroom, but he still didn’t smile. She couldn’t see it. What was the point? The thought made him rock back on his heels. Maybe these lapses were what made him so weak when it mattered.
Even though no one was around to see it, Raoul forced himself to grin.
Dad, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
I think it’s bullshit that you just want to walk back into my life.
You were never there for me.
You don’t even know who my mother is.
Buying me lunch doesn’t make up for SEVENTEEN YEARS of not being there.
You’re sorry? You’re not sorry ENOUGH.
Val, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
I didn’t really find you that attractive.
You were pretty because everyone said you were pretty.
You were better than me because everyone said you were better than me.
Now you’re a corpse that shambles around and tries to pretend she’s sexy.
You’re sexy? Then sexy just isn’t what I’m into.
Delaurac, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
Amy, apple blossom, darling dear.
If I could be open and honest with you for just one time in my whole life.
Honest without judgment or consequence.
If I could tell you the entire truth.
I wouldn’t.
“I thought you weren’t leaving anymore. Val? Val!” He beats a fist against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
Why would I ever be true to you?
“Val, come back! Let’s talk about this-...” He shoulders slump and he rests his head against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
Why would anyone ever be true to you?
“Let’s talk about this...” He knows she’s gone now. He turns and leans his back against the door.
He never thinks to open it.
“I’m not saying that she didn’t- doesn’t, deserve it. I’m saying this isn’t the right way. This isn’t the right path. This isn’t how you fix the problem, George. You can’t lock her in a cell and just hope that she gets better. You have to let me help her.”
Raoul folded the missive up once he had read it aloud to himself in the kitchen. The morning felt colder in Dalaran than Ironforge had been. The night had been warm and cozy. Linen, wool, jerky, stone. The press of Amavia’s flesh against him, her bones beneath him.
Cuddling wasn’t something he knew too much about in an intimate context. Not before Amavia anyway. As he turned the eggs on the skillet, Raoul’s expression lost its charm. Before Amavia was Valerie. There was no reason to smile when thinking about Valerie.
Valerie Starlet.
Damn. She really was a star, wasn’t she?
He whistled sharply and flipped a pancake on the other side of the stove. It was nice to spend the night at his father’s flat in Ironforge. It was nice to sit beside Amavia at the table and listen to Sid’s tall tales. It was nice to hear what a hero his father was.
“I’m not a hero.” Raoul told himself. Or maybe he was talking to the pancakes. Who really knew? Maybe he didn’t even realize he’d said it. Things slipped out when he was alone. Those private thoughts weren’t so private anymore when he didn’t have to actively pretend for the sake of others.
It was the truth really, just gasping for air before it was submerged again.
He’d spent the entire night in the same room as his father and said nothing.
He’d knelt in the corner and prayed to the Holy Light, yet confessed nothing.
No matter how many times things replayed themselves, the outcome never changed. Life was an endless loop of chances and he was content to throw them all away. All he had was this charade. All he had were these smiles and the laughter, the planning and the pride. Amavia had once threatened to pull that out from under him, always telling the truth even when Raoul tried to play it off.
But now Raoul had her in the web too.
She couldn’t tell his secrets without telling her own.
He whistled a happier tune, knowing she’d hear it from the bedroom, but he still didn’t smile. She couldn’t see it. What was the point? The thought made him rock back on his heels. Maybe these lapses were what made him so weak when it mattered.
Even though no one was around to see it, Raoul forced himself to grin.
Dad, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
I think it’s bullshit that you just want to walk back into my life.
You were never there for me.
You don’t even know who my mother is.
Buying me lunch doesn’t make up for SEVENTEEN YEARS of not being there.
You’re sorry? You’re not sorry ENOUGH.
Val, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
I didn’t really find you that attractive.
You were pretty because everyone said you were pretty.
You were better than me because everyone said you were better than me.
Now you’re a corpse that shambles around and tries to pretend she’s sexy.
You’re sexy? Then sexy just isn’t what I’m into.
Delaurac, if I could be perfectly honest for once.
Amy, apple blossom, darling dear.
If I could be open and honest with you for just one time in my whole life.
Honest without judgment or consequence.
If I could tell you the entire truth.
I wouldn’t.