it's a Ksnarf can't sleep post..RUN!!
That's right gentle readers, Ksnarf is actually writing a LJ Post. Shocking I know. Please take a minute to digest this information.
There, don't you feel better? I know I do.
According to the little LJ counter, it has been 7 weeks since I last posted, So, what has brought be back to my little journal in cyber-space? Insomnia
Tonight is the first night in almost 2 months that I have been unable to sleep. here it is 03:45 in the morning and my brain has decided this to be a good time to keep on trucking. Never mind the fact that I have no real reason to be up this early. Sure, I could call my east coast clients, but that wouldn't really do anything helpful and it would probably just add more work for me.
What could have brought on this drought of slumber? well, it could be many things. As a small business owner, I fear for my business and I could be kept awake with the thought that despite my best efforts, my business could fail because I can't handle the workload that I need to survive. Thoughts of my future could be keeping me awake. The idea of being unable to hold down a regular job for any useful length of time and my proven track record of jumping ship every 3 - 6 months is not helping my mind relax. If my business fails, and if this economic downturn continues, how will I support my life? These thoughts could be what's preventing my dive into slumber. There is, of course other explanations for my lack of sleep: I currently hold concern for a friend who has been hit with the rough seas of life. This is not a friend of many years, nor can I say that I fully understand what, if anything my worrying would do to avail their trauma. I do know that we once shared a profession whose lives are forever inter-connected with all those that hear the call. My first Sea Captain told me that Sailors look out for each other, even when there is no other logical reason for it. Perhaps there is truth to that, or perhaps he was trying to fill the head of a teenage boy with silly ideas. I'm sure that sounds sappy and perhaps that explanation does nothing to explain my concern, at this point, I am unsure how much of this is me, and how much is merely my mind filling the gaps in my memory caused by lack of sleep. finally, there is always the good old standby: my brain isn't ready to shut down yet because there is an idea I haven't thought of yet. This has been known to happen on occasion, where an idea has come to focus at the strangest times of the evening and early morning.
I find myself currently listening to old sea songs. They have always soothed my mind and brought back memories of a different time, when life was simpler and involved nothing more than a hard day's work. Well that and they are almost all depressing, which seems to fit the mood now.
So what's the point? Why have I pushed you through the horrible spelling and terrible grammar? in truth there isn't one. my insomnia likes to talk to people, and there is no one I wish to disturb at 04:15 with this dribble so I will continue to search the intar-web for....stuff.
I suppose I have held you here long enough. Feel free to wander around the other journals, visit your friends and catch up on the latest news, but before you go I have one last farewell that seems fitting to this little one person rant.
Fair Winds and Following Seas my friends.
There, don't you feel better? I know I do.
According to the little LJ counter, it has been 7 weeks since I last posted, So, what has brought be back to my little journal in cyber-space? Insomnia
Tonight is the first night in almost 2 months that I have been unable to sleep. here it is 03:45 in the morning and my brain has decided this to be a good time to keep on trucking. Never mind the fact that I have no real reason to be up this early. Sure, I could call my east coast clients, but that wouldn't really do anything helpful and it would probably just add more work for me.
What could have brought on this drought of slumber? well, it could be many things. As a small business owner, I fear for my business and I could be kept awake with the thought that despite my best efforts, my business could fail because I can't handle the workload that I need to survive. Thoughts of my future could be keeping me awake. The idea of being unable to hold down a regular job for any useful length of time and my proven track record of jumping ship every 3 - 6 months is not helping my mind relax. If my business fails, and if this economic downturn continues, how will I support my life? These thoughts could be what's preventing my dive into slumber. There is, of course other explanations for my lack of sleep: I currently hold concern for a friend who has been hit with the rough seas of life. This is not a friend of many years, nor can I say that I fully understand what, if anything my worrying would do to avail their trauma. I do know that we once shared a profession whose lives are forever inter-connected with all those that hear the call. My first Sea Captain told me that Sailors look out for each other, even when there is no other logical reason for it. Perhaps there is truth to that, or perhaps he was trying to fill the head of a teenage boy with silly ideas. I'm sure that sounds sappy and perhaps that explanation does nothing to explain my concern, at this point, I am unsure how much of this is me, and how much is merely my mind filling the gaps in my memory caused by lack of sleep. finally, there is always the good old standby: my brain isn't ready to shut down yet because there is an idea I haven't thought of yet. This has been known to happen on occasion, where an idea has come to focus at the strangest times of the evening and early morning.
I find myself currently listening to old sea songs. They have always soothed my mind and brought back memories of a different time, when life was simpler and involved nothing more than a hard day's work. Well that and they are almost all depressing, which seems to fit the mood now.
So what's the point? Why have I pushed you through the horrible spelling and terrible grammar? in truth there isn't one. my insomnia likes to talk to people, and there is no one I wish to disturb at 04:15 with this dribble so I will continue to search the intar-web for....stuff.
I suppose I have held you here long enough. Feel free to wander around the other journals, visit your friends and catch up on the latest news, but before you go I have one last farewell that seems fitting to this little one person rant.
Fair Winds and Following Seas my friends.