Moving on, ever healthier

[kshaw]

So I had a chat with a friend today. Big surprise, it was a girl I'd once had an enourmous thing for. It was a really insightful talk. It started out with the hypothesis that I only want girls I can't have, then we went into our own relationship. We've always been good friends, and it appears that my timing with said young woman was always off. I was always approaching her or doing something when she was emotionally unavailable. Either I was too early or too late. Perportedly. What can I say? My paranoia runs deep. I expect everyone to be patronizing me.

In any case. This friend helped me through a really dark time in my life and well... I appreciate her. It's funny. cus something that was stated was that it was feared that i'd lose my interest once we were together. Which is really like, "what?" to me. Sadly, I guess I never conveyed how much I was willing to give up everything i was for her. Actually, it gives good credit to the idea that G-d actively plans for our lives. He obviously sees and realizes this while the women that i go "ga ga" for don't. That basic tennant is that I'm willing to give up everything, who I am, my plans, my goals, to be with that person. Now that I admit that it sounds scary. The idea that I'd give up ministry and everything to be with someone.

Maybe that's why i want to go to Orlando so badly, and why under no circumstances should I go.

Perhaps I'm a Poondist.