What's happening to me?
So. My boss sent me an email of an error that I'd made. I went into her office. I'm probably going to get written up again for performance.
I don't knw what's going on... what's happening but it's failure after failure. I'm really not sure what the deal is but it's not just work. It's everything. I know Pastor Alex must be wondering what's gotten into me. I'm late (more often than usual, and later than usual). I'm not communicating when there's a problem. It's not that this happens occasionally. It's happening more frequently. I'm showing up to work an hour, maybe two late. It's really getting bad.
The worst part is, I don't know what in the world is wrong.
It's not like someone died, or like I have no car or... anything. I mean, there's still the odd crazyness going on ( see my last post), but for the most part I've got a woman I care about, I'm trying to get back to Andrews. My life has a direction now; direction I haven't had for some time now.
Unless...
Unless I can't handle a life that's ordered. Unless subconciously I'm sabatoging myself. I'm sure that's what some folks might be thinking. I know I'm tempted to think that. I'm just at a point in life where everything I'm touching breaks. This scares me. If I remember correctly (which is another thing I haven't been able to do lately) I've had this issue back at Andrews. There's an A game I'm not bringing. I need to find my center and focus. I am not a whirlwind. I neither chaos nor am I chaotic. I am not disorder or disordered. What ever's got my head messed up I can't let win. I do have follow through Pastor Russel.
I don't knw what's going on... what's happening but it's failure after failure. I'm really not sure what the deal is but it's not just work. It's everything. I know Pastor Alex must be wondering what's gotten into me. I'm late (more often than usual, and later than usual). I'm not communicating when there's a problem. It's not that this happens occasionally. It's happening more frequently. I'm showing up to work an hour, maybe two late. It's really getting bad.
The worst part is, I don't know what in the world is wrong.
It's not like someone died, or like I have no car or... anything. I mean, there's still the odd crazyness going on ( see my last post), but for the most part I've got a woman I care about, I'm trying to get back to Andrews. My life has a direction now; direction I haven't had for some time now.
Unless...
Unless I can't handle a life that's ordered. Unless subconciously I'm sabatoging myself. I'm sure that's what some folks might be thinking. I know I'm tempted to think that. I'm just at a point in life where everything I'm touching breaks. This scares me. If I remember correctly (which is another thing I haven't been able to do lately) I've had this issue back at Andrews. There's an A game I'm not bringing. I need to find my center and focus. I am not a whirlwind. I neither chaos nor am I chaotic. I am not disorder or disordered. What ever's got my head messed up I can't let win. I do have follow through Pastor Russel.