i usually go back and forth between thinking jealousy is this awful demon and thinking it's just another emotion and there's no reason people shouldn't feel it. i think wrath and greed are far worse, but perhaps when one or the other or both are coupled with envy, they become corrosive and most unhealthy. jealousy is a bad thing, but i don't tend to think of it as a sign that you don't love enough; perhaps that you just love differently, or haven't had decent love-role models, or haven't expressed that love properly (for instance, unrequited love or secret love can be really jealous).
anyway *hands* i read this and then i tossed and turned for 20 minutes with an idea. i'd love to try and write you a fic based on the things you've talked about here: infidelity, repent, forgiveness & working through jealousies & the monogamous person eventually abandoning their stipulations for the polygamous person. partly i want to write this because it pains me you haven't found your ultimate!romantic fic anywhere, and partly because it'd be a challenge. i'm only afraid that i would make so many mistakes because of my limited experiences and knowledge. i don't purposefully try to be small-minded, only that i don't know many poly people and have little (the internet, which can only be so informative in regards to writing fiction) to draw from; i guess i just fear being offensive.
but if i could write you something like this, would you have any interest in working through it with me? i guess i mean beta'ing, but more for like, cultural purposes? i wouldn't want to post anything that utilizes any gross stereotype or sweeping generalization on accident :<
I get you on the unrequited/secret love: I've been the most jealous in my life when I'm not with the person at all. I think this is because one of the potential components of jealousy is envy. There's jealousy that comes from fear of losing someone, and that's what you get in a relationship, and then envy-jealousy, which is worse when your feelings are unrequited and there's someone that genuinely has that relationship you want with the person.
I think I had a lot of ideas muddled together in this post; for example, while I love non-monogamy fic, I'm still surprised at the lack of fic where there's infidelity-repent-forgiveness without ending on non-monogamy, too.
I don't think you'd be offensive at all if you wrote a fic like that! The fact that you're worried about being offensive is a good sign that you wouldn't be. And I'd always be happy to beta something and see if I think there's anything weird or unrealistic about it! I think the most silly stereotypes I've seen are fics with things like a couple opening up their relationship and looking for a third to "complete them" and actually easily finding that, which even if you read about poly on the internet you probably know that's not going to happen. Probably the biggest risk is portraying it like all non-monogamous people start out as cheaters, but I think if you treat it respectfully it can be great!
anyway *hands* i read this and then i tossed and turned for 20 minutes with an idea. i'd love to try and write you a fic based on the things you've talked about here: infidelity, repent, forgiveness & working through jealousies & the monogamous person eventually abandoning their stipulations for the polygamous person. partly i want to write this because it pains me you haven't found your ultimate!romantic fic anywhere, and partly because it'd be a challenge. i'm only afraid that i would make so many mistakes because of my limited experiences and knowledge. i don't purposefully try to be small-minded, only that i don't know many poly people and have little (the internet, which can only be so informative in regards to writing fiction) to draw from; i guess i just fear being offensive.
but if i could write you something like this, would you have any interest in working through it with me? i guess i mean beta'ing, but more for like, cultural purposes? i wouldn't want to post anything that utilizes any gross stereotype or sweeping generalization on accident :<
/sleep-deprived ramble
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I think I had a lot of ideas muddled together in this post; for example, while I love non-monogamy fic, I'm still surprised at the lack of fic where there's infidelity-repent-forgiveness without ending on non-monogamy, too.
I don't think you'd be offensive at all if you wrote a fic like that! The fact that you're worried about being offensive is a good sign that you wouldn't be. And I'd always be happy to beta something and see if I think there's anything weird or unrealistic about it! I think the most silly stereotypes I've seen are fics with things like a couple opening up their relationship and looking for a third to "complete them" and actually easily finding that, which even if you read about poly on the internet you probably know that's not going to happen. Probably the biggest risk is portraying it like all non-monogamous people start out as cheaters, but I think if you treat it respectfully it can be great!
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