Of First Names and Denial [1/1] (KAT-TUN // Kame/Junno)
Title: Of First Names and Denial
Author: Krys Yuy
Summary: Kame supposes he lost any chance of stopping Taguchi’s ‘Kazuya’ habit after that. Letting it go once could be considered a fluke, twice an oversight, but three times was practically permission, and Taguchi had never looked back.
Pairing/Characters: Kamenashi Kazuya/Taguchi Junnosuke (KAT-TUN)
Warning: Hints of shounen-ai.
Rating: PG/K+
Word Count: ~2,000
Disclaimer: I own nothing (except perhaps the situation? :P). This fic is purely for entertainment purposes only. This is NOT real.
Author’s Notes: Inspired by the May 23, 2010 Sendai KAT-TUN concert, where Junno calls Kame ‘Kazuya’ during the MC. (There’s a whole other part of the MC before that, that I won’t get into, partly because of length, partly because I have another one-shot/drabble in the works inspired by Kame’s story and I’ll explain it then.) Koki asks something along the lines of “Since when do you call him Kazuya?”, and Kame answers “eight years”, etc etc. Those two facts are real (also, the latter part when they talk about blood type). However, everything else that happens in this fanfic is NOT. I found it interesting how the others were so surprised by Junno calling Kame ‘Kazuya’, whereas Kame was not, so that means Junno only ever uses it in private when it’s just the two of them? XD (Not entirely true, since Junno also used it during the BtR concert and obviously during the Sendai con.) The switch from present to past and back to present tense is intentional. I’m sorry if this is just an utter fail. D: I’m experimenting, so that might be why this fic feels like it’s all over the place. XDDD
Anyways, if you’re so inclined, please leave feedback - it would totally make my day. ♥ Enjoy!
“Since when do you call him Kazuya?”
Kame blinks, momentarily confused, and he can see Taguchi doing the same across the stage. Hearing ‘Kazuya’ from Taguchi has become as familiar as the feel of a microphone in his hands, and Koki’s question reminds him that Taguchi so rarely calls him by his first name in public, or in front of anyone really. The times he does are few and far between, mostly leaving it for the moments the two of them are alone.
Kame has gotten so used to it that it feels like the most natural thing in the world - his first name falling from Taguchi’s lips.
When his tall bandmate’s gaze flicks to his, a question forming in the dark brown depths of his eyes, Kame realizes the others are still waiting for an answer. Everyone’s looking at Taguchi, but Taguchi’s looking at him, and Kame finds himself answering.
“Eight years,” he tells the rest of their group and the thousands of fans sitting in the stands. “It’s been eight years.”
Kame still remembers a young Taguchi’s cheerful “Good morning!” when he bounded into KAT-TUN’s dressing room. He tacked on a breezy “Kazuya~” at the end and Kame twitched, but Taguchi continued on normally, as if it wasn’t the first time he called his bandmate by his given name.
Before Kame could protest - they hadn’t known each other long enough for him to be comfortable with Taguchi using his first name - the remaining members of their group trickled in. Taguchi asked him a question then, starting it off with “Kame” and Kame thought perhaps he heard him wrong before.
The second time it happened, weeks later, the others were walking ahead to the practice room, and Taguchi came up behind him, nudging him in the back with a water bottle. “Here, Kazuya,” he said. His usually boisterous voice was subdued.
Surprised, Kame took the bottle, but before he could thank him or even ask why, Taguchi jogged past him and threw his arm around Ueda’s shoulders. Ueda accepted Taguchi’s enthusiasm with a good-natured eye roll. He jabbed Taguchi in the side, but didn’t shrug him off.
Kame watched them and glanced at the water in his hands. He realized he was rather thirsty - he couldn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink - and took a few big gulps from the bottle. When Kame looked back up, he almost missed his bandmate’s pleased smile before Taguchi hurriedly turned towards the front, nodding as Ueda said something to him.
Kame raised an eyebrow, shrugged and took another drink, forgetting the incident as soon as they reached the rehearsal room.
Kame figured out around the third time that he didn’t really mind at all. On a typical workday at the agency, he had been particularly frustrated with a dance move that he couldn’t get quite right. He was the last one left in the practice room. Or, at least, he was supposed to be.
Taguchi wandered in, head down, bopping to whatever music was blasting through his earphones. He did a little slide step with an added twist and hop at the end. As he landed on his hop, he looked up and promptly gave a start when he saw Kame.
Kame raised an eyebrow.
Taguchi placed a hand over his heart as he pulled off his earphones. “You scared me! I thought you went home already,” he said.
Kame crossed his arms. “I thought you went home already,” he replied. “Didn’t you leave with everyone else?”
“Just to get a snack at the conbini,” Taguchi said. Kame finally noticed the plastic bag his bandmate carried at his side. Taguchi rummaged through it and his hand surfaced with a bag of Calbee shrimp chips. “Want some?”
Kame rolled his eyes and huffed, ignoring Taguchi’s proffered gift. “This isn’t our break room, Taguchi,” he said, turning back to the mirror that filled one entire wall. He began going over the steps of the new routine once more.
He stumbled over the same spot again, not quite getting the complicated footwork right. It was late and everything was starting to blend together in his head. “Crap,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. It fell back over his face and he scowled at his reflection in the mirror.
Crunch. Through the mirror, Kame’s glare transferred over to Taguchi, who was now munching on his snack. Unaware of his stare, Taguchi looked down at his feet as he easily went through the footwork pattern that was giving Kame so much trouble.
Kame’s annoyance shot up ten times and he snapped, “If you’re not going to take this seriously, can you please leave?”
Blinking, Taguchi looked up mid-bite, clueless. “Huh?” he said brilliantly.
Kame shook his head. “Forget it,” he said. He went through the motions again and did even worse than before.
“Your rhythm is off,” Taguchi said, watching him. “You should relax.”
“I have to get this right,” Kame replied sharply.
Taguchi came up behind him and Kame jerked his head to the side. His bandmate stopped, frowning. Taguchi looked like he wanted to say something, but seemed to think better of it. Instead, he stuffed a few more chips in his mouth and then folded the bag, tossing it to the side next to his other things. Wiping his hands on his cargo pants, he started their routine and mumbled the counts under his breath.
Kame watched him in the mirror, tapping his head to the beat Taguchi set. He noticed right away that the tempo was a beat or two slower than normal. Taguchi went through the combination Kame was having trouble with, and finished it with a minimal amount of effort. Then he started all over again.
With his eyes on the reflection of Taguchi’s feet, Kame followed his movements. Too tired to reassert control, he allowed Taguchi to take over. Here, with only one bandmate as a witness, he didn’t have to set an example for the others to follow, he didn’t have to be the strong one. No one asked him to be, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let KAT-TUN fade into obscurity. Their group was relatively new, vulnerable, even more so with the obvious friction among the members, but as long as it was his group, he would make sure they were the best, even if he had to push far and beyond his limits.
“One, two, three and four…”
Taguchi’s voice filled his head, low and soothing, the rhythmic count pushing away all the clutter and the stress.
“… five, six, seven, eight.”
Kame dipped and turned and with a flair of his wrists, he realized he had finished the routine perfectly. He pumped his fist once, letting a tiny grin escape. He looked up to find Taguchi with his back to him, almost out the door.
“Hey.”
Taguchi paused and looked over his shoulder. Their eyes met in the mirror.
Kame didn’t hesitate. “Again?”
He meant for it to be an order, but it came out sounding more like a request. The rational, not so tightly wound part of him recognized his bandmate’s kindness. Taguchi was annoying more often than not - seven plus months together had taught him that - but there were moments… moments that had Kame doubting his first impression of the tall Junior.
Taguchi beamed. “Sure thing, Kazuya.”
Kame stared at the brightness of Taguchi’s smile, the way his brown eyes curved into upside down crescent moons. He felt something like affection sweep over him, and couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at the intimate use of his first name.
He flicked his wrist, gesturing for Taguchi to stand next to him. “Come on,” he said. “Hurry up. And use the proper tempo this time.”
Taguchi scampered forward, not unlike an eager puppy. Kame’s lips twitched, but instead of commenting on it, he began the routine again, Taguchi falling in step next to him.
Kame supposes he lost any chance of stopping Taguchi’s ‘Kazuya’ habit after that. Letting it go once could be considered a fluke, twice an oversight, but three times was practically permission, and Taguchi had never looked back.
“Eight years?!” Koki’s surprised exclamation rouses Kame from his memories. “That long?” Koki turns to give Taguchi the evil eye, pointing to where he stands at the far right of the stage. “You! You’re so two-faced! Calling Kame ‘Kazuya’ when no one else is around!”
“It’s because he’s blood type AB, right?” Ueda chips in lazily, hand on his hip.
Taguchi catches Kame’s eye, but the moment is fleeting as he then joins in on the conversation, commenting that isn’t he more B than A?
It doesn’t escape Kame’s notice that Taguchi manages to take advantage of what Ueda started, steering the conversation in a completely different direction as Koki and the others begin to tell stories of Taguchi’s behind-the-scenes behavior, the parts hidden so deftly from the public.
Kame has never asked Taguchi why he prefers to call him by his first name in private. It doesn’t seem like Taguchi wants it to be a secret - he’s let it slip out more than once in front of others. It’s just, this time, someone finally called him out on it.
Most people say Ueda is the most mysterious member of their group, but Kame disagrees. Taguchi is transparent in many ways, but there are parts of himself he keeps hidden away so well that no one ever notices. They’re too busy shaking their heads or laughing, distracted by his puns and gags, his overall loud personality. No one ever delves deep into his life, not really, not like they do with Kame or Jin, and Kame knows Taguchi prefers it that way.
There are some things Taguchi will shout out to the world, and then there are things only those closest to him will ever know.
Kame is still trying to figure him out, this other side that no one else sees. He’s not entirely sure why he’s trying in the first place. All Kame knows is that, in the midst of the hectic and whirlwind schedule that is his life, there is always that spare moment in his day where he wonders, even just briefly, what Taguchi is up to and how he’s doing. He doesn’t know why he’s drawn to him, why eight years ago he let him get away with being so forward, why even now he prefers his first rather than last name coming from his lips.
Sometimes in the dead of the night, when he can’t sleep and is left staring up at the ceiling, a traitorous part of his mind whispers the reason. He closes himself off to those thoughts because it certainly can’t be true.
There may be more to Taguchi than meets the eye, but to him, all he will ever be is his bandmate and his friend. There isn’t time, or room, for anything else.
When the Kansai Juniors start their song and the rest of KAT-TUN disappears behind the black curtain, Kame lags behind when Taguchi lightly tugs on his vest from behind. He watches the others rush ahead to their individual clothing racks.
“What?” he asks impatiently. They have more than the usual few seconds to change while the Juniors perform, but it makes him anxious when he’s not already in the next costume.
Kame starts when Taguchi leans in, pressing his nose briefly to the back of his head. “Nothing,” he says, and his breath tickles Kame’s neck. “That went well, huh? The MC.”
“Taguchi, we have to change,” he says, hypersensitive to how close he is. He tries to elbow him, but somehow Taguchi anticipates this.
Dodging, Taguchi dances over to his costume rack a few feet away, the one right next to Kame’s. “Hai, hai~~~” he sings. He glances around, at the members who are now adjusting their individually styled costumes, and then back at him. There’s that telltale twinkle in his eye, mischievous and teasing, with the hint of a secret that makes Kame’s senses tingle. “Kazuya~”
When Taguchi winks, Kame squirts his water bottle at him. “Get changed, idiot,” he says.
Taguchi laughs and Kame rolls his eyes, turning his head so Taguchi won’t see him smile.
.fin*
*But not really because I’ve started to write a “sequel” of sorts from Junno’s POV, which is going to be a lot more blatant in terms of the shounen-ai. Please look forward to it. ;D ♥
Crossposted to jent_fanfics, kattun_fanfics, kattunlove, theadorkable1.