n'est pas une PYT...
why is it so hard to 'restart'?
like... i got myself anothre job. no, i didn't quit my dayjob (literally) for anyone who knows me and what i do... but I got the seasonal gig working evening over at the LCBO... and i'm as nervous as a crazy fucker. i can deal with high-stress levels fairly well... i let the tension build up inside of me for the time being and then i go into my happy dark spot and have a federal breakdown of all my inwards sensibility. but nevermind that.
i know most of the people who work there... i see them when they come in and get lunch... but... it's like there's this weird sense of.... tch, im at a loss for words.... it's like.... they're going ot be able to see both sides of me. i know it's crazy, but... yeah. i'm a gemini, and i have high faith in my signs duality. there's a sense of vulnerability building up inside of me... because i have multiple sides (like most skizzos-- most being everyone), and they never cross... because i have multiple sides, and some people are only allowd to see said sides allowed. work people dont see 'school' me, and family don't see the 'friend' me, blah blah blah. everyone has those. they are the chocolatey protective shells that hide our soft, melty vanilla-y lives. yes, vanilla. because inheriently, we're all pretty damn boring.
don't lie to yourselves. just because you go to a rave on monday, a bat mitzva on wednesday, a mushroom-picking commune convention on thursday, paint a ceiling on sunday... rinse, repeat... that doesn't mean you're interesting. it just means that you DO "interesting" things. and even then, that whole shitpot of a concept is still relative to whom and what you're talking to and about respectively.
i shit. i shower (when i feel like it, or remember). i have a curlfro that is more naps than curl. i prod the fat, and scrutinize the lines. you probably have your own mundane routine you do when nobody's around. this is nothing groundbreaking. this is not the first time it's being recorded on a journal of some sorts via public domain and such. i just felt like airing out some dutty drawers (*insert whacky-sounding belch here*).
sounds abit off-topic, don't it? nah... it's all relative. to bring this round full-circle... i feel im going to slip up and do something stupid that'll make me seem like the rectal douche that i really am (and that only a mere half a handful know). everyone feels this way when encountered with a new situation like starting a new job/school/relationship... i just feel like it's hitting me abit harder. but now im just being selfish and self-centered and air-heady.
but it's nice to share...
like... i got myself anothre job. no, i didn't quit my dayjob (literally) for anyone who knows me and what i do... but I got the seasonal gig working evening over at the LCBO... and i'm as nervous as a crazy fucker. i can deal with high-stress levels fairly well... i let the tension build up inside of me for the time being and then i go into my happy dark spot and have a federal breakdown of all my inwards sensibility. but nevermind that.
i know most of the people who work there... i see them when they come in and get lunch... but... it's like there's this weird sense of.... tch, im at a loss for words.... it's like.... they're going ot be able to see both sides of me. i know it's crazy, but... yeah. i'm a gemini, and i have high faith in my signs duality. there's a sense of vulnerability building up inside of me... because i have multiple sides (like most skizzos-- most being everyone), and they never cross... because i have multiple sides, and some people are only allowd to see said sides allowed. work people dont see 'school' me, and family don't see the 'friend' me, blah blah blah. everyone has those. they are the chocolatey protective shells that hide our soft, melty vanilla-y lives. yes, vanilla. because inheriently, we're all pretty damn boring.
don't lie to yourselves. just because you go to a rave on monday, a bat mitzva on wednesday, a mushroom-picking commune convention on thursday, paint a ceiling on sunday... rinse, repeat... that doesn't mean you're interesting. it just means that you DO "interesting" things. and even then, that whole shitpot of a concept is still relative to whom and what you're talking to and about respectively.
i shit. i shower (when i feel like it, or remember). i have a curlfro that is more naps than curl. i prod the fat, and scrutinize the lines. you probably have your own mundane routine you do when nobody's around. this is nothing groundbreaking. this is not the first time it's being recorded on a journal of some sorts via public domain and such. i just felt like airing out some dutty drawers (*insert whacky-sounding belch here*).
sounds abit off-topic, don't it? nah... it's all relative. to bring this round full-circle... i feel im going to slip up and do something stupid that'll make me seem like the rectal douche that i really am (and that only a mere half a handful know). everyone feels this way when encountered with a new situation like starting a new job/school/relationship... i just feel like it's hitting me abit harder. but now im just being selfish and self-centered and air-heady.
but it's nice to share...