Thingses.
So I don't think Spring Weekend was long or rainy or bad or anything, after all.
Friday night, the Quirks had a concert, and then we all headed over to the luau. I was able to get in without an armband.. I talked to random people- roomie Leslie, and Tom Favoloro!- and then danced with some people I knew, and it wasn't even weird because I was all full of Quirk punch. Potent stuff, that is. Saturday MAY have been the toga party, which was fun/great/ fine. [Or it may have been the day we went to Downtown West Hartford to the Elbow room. ]We got cool fabrics at Wal-Mart and then enjoyed ourselves at pike. Sunday Allison and I went to Bushnell park. We took pictures, went on the carousel, met some antique bike collectors and thus completely avoided the hellish Spring Weekend concert by Kevin Lyttle and some other guy.
The semester came to an end relatively smoothly, or maybe I just say that looking back at my grades, which aren't so bad [at all.]I'm still waiting on one from Anthro of Islam, but I'm pretty confident that it's going to be good. I went home for Mother's Day weekend. Hung out with Kyle some of Saturday, and then Sunday roamed around Central Park and 5th Ave with my mom and cousin. He's kind of a pain, but what can you do? Except make fun of him behind his back in English, and wonder about what happened to that cute kid he used to be.
For the past week, I've been on campus with the Chapel Singers. Monday and Tuesday, the Quirks (my acappella group) went to the recording studio up the street to work on some songs. Then Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we had rehearsals. I thought I'd have so much time to get random errands and projects done, but I really didn't. I learned a few chords on guitar though, and got started on forming calluses on my left hand. Today my parents came to move me out. It was kind of stressful and annoying, cause we had to work around random concert times (and work WITH my mother, who is always manages to frustrate me) but it generally turned out okay. Except for the pieces of mounting tape I can't get off my wall. And the parts of the wall that are missing where I did manage to get the mounting tape off.
Soo out concerts today went well; too bad my parents came late for the Chapel Singers one. We sing so beautifully, I think.. I can't tell cause I'm singing along and so my perception of the sound is probably a bit distorted. Maybe Matt's parents got in on tape? They came to get Matt's stuff, too. Tomorrow's commencement. For me, that means handing out programs and then tent-hopping from Senior to Senior to get food and drinks. NiIiIiCe. That kind of party lifestyle is then going to carry over to Monday, when the Chapel Singers leave to Montreal. People are really excited about the trip.. I don't think It's really hit me yet but it definitely should be great, just because we're all such cool people. :) Or everyone else is, at least, haha.
This summer I'MmMM working at a Seminary in Princeton- St. Joseph's Seminary. (That's where they teach Priests/religious leaders religious things.) I still don't quite understand the details, but the general jist (gist?) of the thing is Catholic Social Justice teaching. It's called Leaderworx, and as an ASSOCIATE I think I'll be supervising Junior High/ High School kids while they do community service in local places and then lead activities with them. I imagine it will be a lot like the JELLOH program I've done here at Trinity- establishing the link between faith and works, living in a community, practicing what you preach, being religious in today's world- except it will be much longer: over two months, sheesh! I was originally hoping to do some sort of internship/research project with a Polish organization in New Britain but that fell through. I hope this will turn out to be a good experience.
When I get back to Trin, I'll be an Orientation Leader for the Freshmen. It's purposely meant to be something other than an RA or a Mentor: we're unafilliated, honest guidance-givers... telling about our own experiences at Trin. It's so crazy that another class of Freshmen is coming in. I'm a fucking Junior; I can't believe it. And I'm going to Chile in the Spring, WhOoOahh. Things are moving so fast, buh. I'm just a little K! Uhm, small person! I'm still living in the Fred next year, but this time in a quad with PALS. Cara, Allison, and Elise. I am proud to call Cara and Allison my very good friends, and I hope that I will get to know Elise a lot better next semester. I think we're all pretty different people, though- I hope it's not an explosive mixture. Even so, it'll be really nice to have a common room.
So, idk. I definitely feel at home at Trin by now. I wish I could be closer with a lot of people- both here and friends from home, but I'm glad I've formed relationships with some other people. The social aspect of my life here can only really get better from here on out. Academically, I feel like I'm not.. absorbing any knowledge. I still just do what I can to get by with good grades, which means cramming and procrastinating as usual. On the other hand, maybe I know more than I think I do and I'm just doing my normal self-doubt thing. I kind of like that self-doubt though, because deep inside I know I'm capable of taking on a challenge, and then it still surprises me when I succeed at something. Idk that makes sense to anyone but me.. it probably just sounds like some weird slef-deception mechanism. I bet we all do some of that though. Anyhow, two Professors from my deparment have left in the past two years or so, but eh. Things change. I really want to take an engaging, exciting class. I haven't had one of those in a while- one where I think about things in a new way, and I make connections to things I've learned outside of class. It's so nice to KNOW that you're learning something; it's a kind of joy. I hope I can take JOY in my learning next year.
I'm glad that in the past year I've at least sort of defined what I want to do some more. Pretty early on last semester I declared two majors: Religion and Anthropology. Lately I'm much more into the Anthropology thing than Religion, but that's probably just because it's new. Next year I'll be taking a Religions of Asia class so that should be pretty cool, too.I didn't do much musically this past semester, just because flute took so much time out of things for me before (although that's flawed because Quirks probably takes up MORE time now..!) I really want to try new things with the flute though, some jazz maybe, play in groups with other instruments. Maybe I'll try the sax thing, too.. try to join the jazz ensemble. It's probbaly woth it while I have the opportunity to here on campus. Of course, it all comes down to time. Between work-study (which I cut perpetually this semester) Quirks, Chapel Singers, Newman Club and random other stuff I'd say I spend much more time on extracurriculars than on schoolwork. Which sort of sucks, because all of my classes deserve more of my effort, and I'm sure I'd get much more out of them it I gave it. None of this musical, artsy activity shit is going to count for much after high school anyway, right? And everything that I have scheduled, or put on my plate or whatever, just makes me more stressed out because it means I have more responsiblilty. Or does it make me more responsible? Would I do less if I didn't have those responsibilities? I don't know.
I think I've been a lot happier this semester, too. I remember still being crazy and crying a lot freshman year. Between adjustment to college, relationship issues, and my natural emotional over-sensitivity, that's relatively understandable. I was still saddish in the Fall semester, though. I actually went to see the school counselor then, but then I was like "you're dumb" and stopped going after a while. She just kept asking "What do you think about that? What's your sense of this?" I can't really remember what we talked about. It seemed like I was just talking to myself, telling her about my life and problems. I probably had them more figured out than she would. I told her about my worldview, problems with my family, with myself.. she told me I went back and forth about things I said, that I was very ambivalent. Thanks, lady- really? She started helping me with time managment, but that's about the time I quit so that all went nowhere. Just having a support network here among my friends has helped me a lot more- and seems a lot less phony- so thanks.
Come to think of it, I think we can call this the awkward year, or awkward semester. That word is so overused, it's dead and meaningless, really. Yet I think I've gotten a really good sense of that it means this year: awkward, in all it's many different facets.
What else do I have to sayyyy?
So idk, Religion and Anthropology. I'm not too worried about what I'll be doing after school. I could see myself doing Teach for America.. I'd stay a teacher if I decided that I liked it. Or I could do some other 1 or 2 year stint, and decide that I wanna go back tor grad school for something. Honestly, though.. there are still so many things I'll be experiencing in the next two years, I'm confident I'll find something that inspires me eventually. It's definitely hard when you've got lots of different interests/ no ONE particular, defined talent to steer you into something. But in that case, it might be nice to not be limited in that way. Things will fall in to place.. although it's my job to keep my eyes peeled for various opportunities.
If I think of something else to write I'll post again soon. But anything else right now would just be rambling, and there's been enough of that so far.
Ahh, life. You winding road, you.. unraveling before me as I walk up your hills and around your corners, past your grassy, flowering fields and tall trees. Something about me, a hitchiker, getting a ride past the dark fog.
Uhm. So a future in poetry- not looking too bright right now. Although the other day, it was such a nice spring evening and as I passed by Jones to the cave, I just couldn't help but feel.. poetic. I really wanted to paint images, to preserve that moment, with my words. My vocab sucks though, and I sort of feel pretentious whenever I DO try to write poetry. So again, nevermind! I'll just stick to my WORM CARTOONS in the Tripod.
Peace, folks. Hope you're alive/ doing well. I am (both of those things.)
Your favorite bouncy, laughy creep,
Krystyna
Friday night, the Quirks had a concert, and then we all headed over to the luau. I was able to get in without an armband.. I talked to random people- roomie Leslie, and Tom Favoloro!- and then danced with some people I knew, and it wasn't even weird because I was all full of Quirk punch. Potent stuff, that is. Saturday MAY have been the toga party, which was fun/great/ fine. [Or it may have been the day we went to Downtown West Hartford to the Elbow room. ]We got cool fabrics at Wal-Mart and then enjoyed ourselves at pike. Sunday Allison and I went to Bushnell park. We took pictures, went on the carousel, met some antique bike collectors and thus completely avoided the hellish Spring Weekend concert by Kevin Lyttle and some other guy.
The semester came to an end relatively smoothly, or maybe I just say that looking back at my grades, which aren't so bad [at all.]I'm still waiting on one from Anthro of Islam, but I'm pretty confident that it's going to be good. I went home for Mother's Day weekend. Hung out with Kyle some of Saturday, and then Sunday roamed around Central Park and 5th Ave with my mom and cousin. He's kind of a pain, but what can you do? Except make fun of him behind his back in English, and wonder about what happened to that cute kid he used to be.
For the past week, I've been on campus with the Chapel Singers. Monday and Tuesday, the Quirks (my acappella group) went to the recording studio up the street to work on some songs. Then Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we had rehearsals. I thought I'd have so much time to get random errands and projects done, but I really didn't. I learned a few chords on guitar though, and got started on forming calluses on my left hand. Today my parents came to move me out. It was kind of stressful and annoying, cause we had to work around random concert times (and work WITH my mother, who is always manages to frustrate me) but it generally turned out okay. Except for the pieces of mounting tape I can't get off my wall. And the parts of the wall that are missing where I did manage to get the mounting tape off.
Soo out concerts today went well; too bad my parents came late for the Chapel Singers one. We sing so beautifully, I think.. I can't tell cause I'm singing along and so my perception of the sound is probably a bit distorted. Maybe Matt's parents got in on tape? They came to get Matt's stuff, too. Tomorrow's commencement. For me, that means handing out programs and then tent-hopping from Senior to Senior to get food and drinks. NiIiIiCe. That kind of party lifestyle is then going to carry over to Monday, when the Chapel Singers leave to Montreal. People are really excited about the trip.. I don't think It's really hit me yet but it definitely should be great, just because we're all such cool people. :) Or everyone else is, at least, haha.
This summer I'MmMM working at a Seminary in Princeton- St. Joseph's Seminary. (That's where they teach Priests/religious leaders religious things.) I still don't quite understand the details, but the general jist (gist?) of the thing is Catholic Social Justice teaching. It's called Leaderworx, and as an ASSOCIATE I think I'll be supervising Junior High/ High School kids while they do community service in local places and then lead activities with them. I imagine it will be a lot like the JELLOH program I've done here at Trinity- establishing the link between faith and works, living in a community, practicing what you preach, being religious in today's world- except it will be much longer: over two months, sheesh! I was originally hoping to do some sort of internship/research project with a Polish organization in New Britain but that fell through. I hope this will turn out to be a good experience.
When I get back to Trin, I'll be an Orientation Leader for the Freshmen. It's purposely meant to be something other than an RA or a Mentor: we're unafilliated, honest guidance-givers... telling about our own experiences at Trin. It's so crazy that another class of Freshmen is coming in. I'm a fucking Junior; I can't believe it. And I'm going to Chile in the Spring, WhOoOahh. Things are moving so fast, buh. I'm just a little K! Uhm, small person! I'm still living in the Fred next year, but this time in a quad with PALS. Cara, Allison, and Elise. I am proud to call Cara and Allison my very good friends, and I hope that I will get to know Elise a lot better next semester. I think we're all pretty different people, though- I hope it's not an explosive mixture. Even so, it'll be really nice to have a common room.
So, idk. I definitely feel at home at Trin by now. I wish I could be closer with a lot of people- both here and friends from home, but I'm glad I've formed relationships with some other people. The social aspect of my life here can only really get better from here on out. Academically, I feel like I'm not.. absorbing any knowledge. I still just do what I can to get by with good grades, which means cramming and procrastinating as usual. On the other hand, maybe I know more than I think I do and I'm just doing my normal self-doubt thing. I kind of like that self-doubt though, because deep inside I know I'm capable of taking on a challenge, and then it still surprises me when I succeed at something. Idk that makes sense to anyone but me.. it probably just sounds like some weird slef-deception mechanism. I bet we all do some of that though. Anyhow, two Professors from my deparment have left in the past two years or so, but eh. Things change. I really want to take an engaging, exciting class. I haven't had one of those in a while- one where I think about things in a new way, and I make connections to things I've learned outside of class. It's so nice to KNOW that you're learning something; it's a kind of joy. I hope I can take JOY in my learning next year.
I'm glad that in the past year I've at least sort of defined what I want to do some more. Pretty early on last semester I declared two majors: Religion and Anthropology. Lately I'm much more into the Anthropology thing than Religion, but that's probably just because it's new. Next year I'll be taking a Religions of Asia class so that should be pretty cool, too.I didn't do much musically this past semester, just because flute took so much time out of things for me before (although that's flawed because Quirks probably takes up MORE time now..!) I really want to try new things with the flute though, some jazz maybe, play in groups with other instruments. Maybe I'll try the sax thing, too.. try to join the jazz ensemble. It's probbaly woth it while I have the opportunity to here on campus. Of course, it all comes down to time. Between work-study (which I cut perpetually this semester) Quirks, Chapel Singers, Newman Club and random other stuff I'd say I spend much more time on extracurriculars than on schoolwork. Which sort of sucks, because all of my classes deserve more of my effort, and I'm sure I'd get much more out of them it I gave it. None of this musical, artsy activity shit is going to count for much after high school anyway, right? And everything that I have scheduled, or put on my plate or whatever, just makes me more stressed out because it means I have more responsiblilty. Or does it make me more responsible? Would I do less if I didn't have those responsibilities? I don't know.
I think I've been a lot happier this semester, too. I remember still being crazy and crying a lot freshman year. Between adjustment to college, relationship issues, and my natural emotional over-sensitivity, that's relatively understandable. I was still saddish in the Fall semester, though. I actually went to see the school counselor then, but then I was like "you're dumb" and stopped going after a while. She just kept asking "What do you think about that? What's your sense of this?" I can't really remember what we talked about. It seemed like I was just talking to myself, telling her about my life and problems. I probably had them more figured out than she would. I told her about my worldview, problems with my family, with myself.. she told me I went back and forth about things I said, that I was very ambivalent. Thanks, lady- really? She started helping me with time managment, but that's about the time I quit so that all went nowhere. Just having a support network here among my friends has helped me a lot more- and seems a lot less phony- so thanks.
Come to think of it, I think we can call this the awkward year, or awkward semester. That word is so overused, it's dead and meaningless, really. Yet I think I've gotten a really good sense of that it means this year: awkward, in all it's many different facets.
What else do I have to sayyyy?
So idk, Religion and Anthropology. I'm not too worried about what I'll be doing after school. I could see myself doing Teach for America.. I'd stay a teacher if I decided that I liked it. Or I could do some other 1 or 2 year stint, and decide that I wanna go back tor grad school for something. Honestly, though.. there are still so many things I'll be experiencing in the next two years, I'm confident I'll find something that inspires me eventually. It's definitely hard when you've got lots of different interests/ no ONE particular, defined talent to steer you into something. But in that case, it might be nice to not be limited in that way. Things will fall in to place.. although it's my job to keep my eyes peeled for various opportunities.
If I think of something else to write I'll post again soon. But anything else right now would just be rambling, and there's been enough of that so far.
Ahh, life. You winding road, you.. unraveling before me as I walk up your hills and around your corners, past your grassy, flowering fields and tall trees. Something about me, a hitchiker, getting a ride past the dark fog.
Uhm. So a future in poetry- not looking too bright right now. Although the other day, it was such a nice spring evening and as I passed by Jones to the cave, I just couldn't help but feel.. poetic. I really wanted to paint images, to preserve that moment, with my words. My vocab sucks though, and I sort of feel pretentious whenever I DO try to write poetry. So again, nevermind! I'll just stick to my WORM CARTOONS in the Tripod.
Peace, folks. Hope you're alive/ doing well. I am (both of those things.)
Your favorite bouncy, laughy creep,
Krystyna