Mph.
Bah is right; I'm feeling GLUM.
- My four-week long winter break is coming to an end, and I'm disappointed in myself for not making plans with a few people. It's hard to stay in touch while you're away at school, I guess, but meeting up when you're back home seems like such an obvious thing to do. I often kind of sulk about how my friends must not care about me when we don't talk for a while. Well, here was a perfect chance to call everyone up, get together... make some kind of effort myself.. and that didn't really work out either. Not that I didn't see or hang out with people... but regarding those I didn't spend time with, I guess I'm afraid I'll just keep drifting away from friends that I don't want to lose.
- I didn't read any good books, or learn to play guitar or clarinet, or even just play flute, or sew a bunch of stuff, or learn to knit, or brush up on my Spanish during break. Those were just potential, preliminary plans of mine for what I might occupy myself with during break. I don't have the discipline to actually accomplish that much. I feel like such a blob, though. I didn't even get a new flute, or do any scholarships.. which means more stuff to worry about when I'm back at college with no time to worry- egh. My only consolation is that there was something unplanned, unexpected and even better than all those things put together that happened during break, and that I'll find time for that other stuff eventually.. somehow..
- Going back to college.. I've been kind of determined to make my second semester a lot better than the last, mostly by just changing my attitude and trying to plan things out more, and get work done. I'm doubting myself now, though. I know I'm a slacker, and I know even if I do make SOME kind of progress, I'll probably find something to disappoint me anyway. I don't know, I just hope things work out, and that I can enjoy myself more than last semester.
- I didn't get into this program thing I wanted to be in for next year. Well, technically, no one told me I'm NOT in it.. it's very possible I'll be put in some "to be reviewed later" pile and will still have a chance, but I wasn't accepted early decision either. Why'd I have to be honest and tell them I hadn't been doing my best? I think it's easier for me to do that than try and talk people into how wonderful a candidate I am. Ugh, I need to work on my speaking skills/self-esteem.
- Mr. Unplanned/unexpected went back to college today, and I miss him already. I was reviewing the amtrak and greyhound schedules, and visiting one another is going to be an utter hassle, not to mention expensive. Fricking undependable public transportation. It's possible I can find someone who drives up that way through the ride board at school, but it's not very likely, since my school's relatively small. This really dampens my hopes.. though it's possible I'll still figure something out. And money's money.. it can be sacrificed, I'll do what it takes.
/siiggh.
I've been generally happy for the most part though, so that's okay/ it should hopefully pass. And I'll be getting away from my crazy family, which will be a welcome rest. And I might have fun on the community service-ish trip I'm going on.. classes don't start for me until the 23rd, I think, and even then the workload should be light for a while.
Wishing everyone else who's going back to school a safe trip, and a fun, safe and successful second semester. :O)
Or first, for Melanie.
See ya.