18 in Review...
Well, seeing as this is my last night of legally being a minor, I thought I’d reflect on the past year has brought me. When I count the times that I almost didn’t make it to this day…well, I still wonder how I did sometimes ;P
While this year wasn’t quite as violent on me as last…the fallout from the previous year still rained down upon this one…but I have also learned the true price of letting the past haunt me and the future daunt me...fate itself has tried me, and I have emerged triumphant from the fires of hell. I wear my scars proudly, and am not ashamed of who or what my past has made me. If someone has a problem with it, they can get in line to suck my proverbial cock.
My sister is still much in the same place as she was last year…and this has been a hard road for us all…she almost succeeded in taking herself out of this world multiple times, but through what may be blind luck, she is still with us. And doing better, this past bit - I believe she has gone close to a month and a half without harming herself. Still in foster care, still smoking, but going to the gym regularly, and she is now the caretaker of not only Lithium the blizzard corn snake, but Nikita the 50-50 banded California king snake, whom she has re-named Prozac. She has as much to be proud of as I do.
I welcomed new kritters into my family, and mourned the loss and passing of others. I also had the great joy and pleasure of hatching my first leopard geckos this year with a friend. I would like to dedicate a moment to the memories of: Chainfire (female Miami aztec corn snake), Wish (female ghost blood corn snake), Blaze (male amelanistic motley corn snake), Ice (female gerbil), and Matsu (Kenyan sand boa of unknown gender). To my dearest Sol…last I heard of you, you were not doing well…and for all I know, you might have left this world as well…so, here is my heart going out to you…I’m sorry I couldn’t have done better for you. You will always have a special place in my heart - I will never forget the gifts you have given me. I promise, that one day, when I am able…I will once again taken into my care a member of your species and care for it from birth to death, in honour of your memory.
Having now run out of things to write about to delay writing directly about myself, I will now do so.
I once again return to my date of birth, born anew of the ashes of my past defeats. I have lost some things, but I have also learned and gained a great deal. For me, this is not only a death of the old, but a birth of the new. I found it not to be beyond myself to trust, to love and be loved in return, even if for now, parting ways with that person happened to be the for the best. If things are meant to be, then they will be. Things always have ways of working themselves out for the best in the end, even if we can’t immediately see the purpose of our current events. I have had many influential and amazing people come into my life, and only one truly leave: my last great-grandparent, my Omi Berta, passed away in Germany a few weeks ago at the age of 97. I miss her, and she will always be very dear to me in my heart, but she lived a full life, and there are far worse ways to die than peacefully in your sleep. But of all the things I’ve come to term with, I believe the most important one is myself. I’ve come to accept better of who and what I am, and what duty I owe to the world. To better embrace my purpose in this world. In the short time I have lived thus far, I have known more pain, sorrow, and suffering than many know in an entire lifetime. And yet…I do not regret it. I would not wish my life to have unfolded any other way. It has made me who I am. Hardship strips us of all that is superficial, leaving us only with ourselves. I cannot hope to predict what this coming year will bring, but I know already that I am ready for whatever it may bring me.
~Kryss / Kryos~
While this year wasn’t quite as violent on me as last…the fallout from the previous year still rained down upon this one…but I have also learned the true price of letting the past haunt me and the future daunt me...fate itself has tried me, and I have emerged triumphant from the fires of hell. I wear my scars proudly, and am not ashamed of who or what my past has made me. If someone has a problem with it, they can get in line to suck my proverbial cock.
My sister is still much in the same place as she was last year…and this has been a hard road for us all…she almost succeeded in taking herself out of this world multiple times, but through what may be blind luck, she is still with us. And doing better, this past bit - I believe she has gone close to a month and a half without harming herself. Still in foster care, still smoking, but going to the gym regularly, and she is now the caretaker of not only Lithium the blizzard corn snake, but Nikita the 50-50 banded California king snake, whom she has re-named Prozac. She has as much to be proud of as I do.
I welcomed new kritters into my family, and mourned the loss and passing of others. I also had the great joy and pleasure of hatching my first leopard geckos this year with a friend. I would like to dedicate a moment to the memories of: Chainfire (female Miami aztec corn snake), Wish (female ghost blood corn snake), Blaze (male amelanistic motley corn snake), Ice (female gerbil), and Matsu (Kenyan sand boa of unknown gender). To my dearest Sol…last I heard of you, you were not doing well…and for all I know, you might have left this world as well…so, here is my heart going out to you…I’m sorry I couldn’t have done better for you. You will always have a special place in my heart - I will never forget the gifts you have given me. I promise, that one day, when I am able…I will once again taken into my care a member of your species and care for it from birth to death, in honour of your memory.
Having now run out of things to write about to delay writing directly about myself, I will now do so.
I once again return to my date of birth, born anew of the ashes of my past defeats. I have lost some things, but I have also learned and gained a great deal. For me, this is not only a death of the old, but a birth of the new. I found it not to be beyond myself to trust, to love and be loved in return, even if for now, parting ways with that person happened to be the for the best. If things are meant to be, then they will be. Things always have ways of working themselves out for the best in the end, even if we can’t immediately see the purpose of our current events. I have had many influential and amazing people come into my life, and only one truly leave: my last great-grandparent, my Omi Berta, passed away in Germany a few weeks ago at the age of 97. I miss her, and she will always be very dear to me in my heart, but she lived a full life, and there are far worse ways to die than peacefully in your sleep. But of all the things I’ve come to term with, I believe the most important one is myself. I’ve come to accept better of who and what I am, and what duty I owe to the world. To better embrace my purpose in this world. In the short time I have lived thus far, I have known more pain, sorrow, and suffering than many know in an entire lifetime. And yet…I do not regret it. I would not wish my life to have unfolded any other way. It has made me who I am. Hardship strips us of all that is superficial, leaving us only with ourselves. I cannot hope to predict what this coming year will bring, but I know already that I am ready for whatever it may bring me.
~Kryss / Kryos~