welcome home
Ah, i feel horrible today.
Well lets start with yesterday.. Since 7:00 am yesterday i told jackie i wanted to see her, and she said she hadnt slept so i told her go to sleep and she obviously knew i wanted to hang out, so of course i come back and she didnt sleep, and said she would be tired if we hung out, so mind you this is like 5:00 in the afternoon, and well she stayed online until i went to sleep at 8:00 thats 3 hours she could have spent with me. I just dont understand, maybe she doesnt even want this relationship, but that doesnt make sense cuz then she owuld have just let me be on saturday instead of asking me to see her on sunday.
So needless to say.. i was pretty upset, and she just didnt understand it at all. Well to me it feels like she is pulling away, like she doesnt care, or maybe she just thinks that i will stick around and continuously let her hurt my feelings like that.... Well i am not going to. I am getting too old to play these games, i am looking for a serious relationship where i have something that is real, someone that is there. Someone who just puts it to me like they dont care isnt going to last, thats not really love. There comes a point in your life where you will have to realize that Friends will come and go, but eventually you get a lover who stays around, you maybe live together whatever.. well thats the point i am at, she is only 18.. so i dont expect her to figure that out yet, but in the same way it kinda hurts. I wasnt meaning to come off as a dick to her yesterday but i know i was being a prick she doesnt understand it the way i do though, i have had more experiences in this kind of thing, i know how a relationship is supposed to be and i am just trying to make it as easy for her as i can i do love her, as i say always. And i dont want to let this go, i have never been this caught up so quickly... i'm shook, but maybe i should just let it go, before my feelings get hurt even worse.. i dont know what to do i dont wanna loose jackie but i dont want to continue to let her pull on my heartstrings if she isnt going to be there.
Another thing that i have been noticing lately, is that before we dated, and up to about a few weeks ago she used to call me once a day at least.. she hasnt called me since saturday, i saw her last on sunday, and all the time that we do talk is online..and unless i send her an im she doesnt even bother with that.. i dont like the way this is going like this..
Well lets start with yesterday.. Since 7:00 am yesterday i told jackie i wanted to see her, and she said she hadnt slept so i told her go to sleep and she obviously knew i wanted to hang out, so of course i come back and she didnt sleep, and said she would be tired if we hung out, so mind you this is like 5:00 in the afternoon, and well she stayed online until i went to sleep at 8:00 thats 3 hours she could have spent with me. I just dont understand, maybe she doesnt even want this relationship, but that doesnt make sense cuz then she owuld have just let me be on saturday instead of asking me to see her on sunday.
So needless to say.. i was pretty upset, and she just didnt understand it at all. Well to me it feels like she is pulling away, like she doesnt care, or maybe she just thinks that i will stick around and continuously let her hurt my feelings like that.... Well i am not going to. I am getting too old to play these games, i am looking for a serious relationship where i have something that is real, someone that is there. Someone who just puts it to me like they dont care isnt going to last, thats not really love. There comes a point in your life where you will have to realize that Friends will come and go, but eventually you get a lover who stays around, you maybe live together whatever.. well thats the point i am at, she is only 18.. so i dont expect her to figure that out yet, but in the same way it kinda hurts. I wasnt meaning to come off as a dick to her yesterday but i know i was being a prick she doesnt understand it the way i do though, i have had more experiences in this kind of thing, i know how a relationship is supposed to be and i am just trying to make it as easy for her as i can i do love her, as i say always. And i dont want to let this go, i have never been this caught up so quickly... i'm shook, but maybe i should just let it go, before my feelings get hurt even worse.. i dont know what to do i dont wanna loose jackie but i dont want to continue to let her pull on my heartstrings if she isnt going to be there.
Another thing that i have been noticing lately, is that before we dated, and up to about a few weeks ago she used to call me once a day at least.. she hasnt called me since saturday, i saw her last on sunday, and all the time that we do talk is online..and unless i send her an im she doesnt even bother with that.. i dont like the way this is going like this..