wow been awhile (:
I know. It's been so long since I updated my online journal. I do apologize because I am a working girl now (: That's right! I have a JOB! I'm super excited about it too. I'm a case manager at the Community Guidance Center. I LOVE IT. It's really stressfull but it's so worth it! The pay is awesome. I got great kick ass benefits. I just aboslutely love my job. (: It's so rewarding when I link a family to a resource. (: It's the greatest feeling in the whole entire world. Okay. So any other news. Big shocking news here....I met with Matt on Wednesday in Dubois. I had lunch with him. That was the first time I saw him in three years....It was weird but nice. Right away he's like you're different. I'm like really. how so. He's like you're a working girl now that changes alot of people. You're more grownup and more mature I can tell the way you talk and the way you look and act. I'm like yeah. I did really grow up since we were together. I gave him back the ring. It was the right thing to do. I was holding on to it holding out hope for us that one day we would get back together but when I met him I suddenly realized that it's not who I am anymore. I'm not the same naieve young girl that I was when I was with him....I changed. I'm a 30 year old woman who is now a case manager and is planning her future. I want to save money so I can get a place of my own. I told Matt that I had something for him. and he's like you do what? I'm like it's time for me to give this back to you. He's like are you sure you want to do that? I'm like yes I am sure. I couldnt give it to you at the time of the breakup because I was so hurt and devasted and I couldnt deal with losing you and I couldnt give it up just yet but I do know that I am ready to give it to you. It's the right thing to do. and I do forgive you. I know I forgave you a via message on facebook but I wanted to tell you in person. I hold nothing against you. You're a good guy who deserves to be happy. I should of said that I wished it would of worked out between us and that if I could go back and change things I would. Buttt. I realize we should just be friends. (: He took the ring back and I started to cry a little. I knew I would. I told him that we pretty much grew up together...from 2002 til 2008 we were together a LONG time...and had a lot of great awesome memories that I will hold close to my heart forever. I mean after all he was my first love and my first kiss, we lost our virginity together...that was a huge deal...we had a nice lunch. It made me sad in a way just because he's having alot of finaicial difficulties and it made me sad to hear about that. I want him to be happy. I will always love Matthew John Sunderlin buttt it didnt work out with us and I'm fine with that. I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all. He's so proud of me for graduating college and getting a really good job. I just want him to be happy (: <3 No matter what he will always be in my heart forever. It's not that I want him there. It's just where he is. He was my first love and I will always remember him forever. If he ever needs me I'm here for him (:
Okay in any other news. I am liking a guy I have known since 2005 from IUP. ugh. His name is Jeff. but he lives in Grove City. That's the only down fall in this whole story because we really like one another and want to be with one another but distance is in question here.....we dont know how it is going to work with the distance in play for us. I just hope it works out for us because I really like him. There's not alot of guys I connect with on a communication level.....we can talk about anything with one another..I'm really falling for him. I can't help myself., I just want him to be my boyfriend (: I want to be his girlfriend so bad!! (: I just really hope that this happens for me.....let it happen!! (:
Okay. Well I think I wrote a book for one night. Keep you posted on everything new that is happening in my life (:
I still talk to Josh here and there. When he wants to see me and hang out he texts me. we're like best friends now. And I think it's awesome (: I know we are better than friends than being in a relationship..we're two totally different people!! (:
PEACE OUT <3
xoxo
Okay in any other news. I am liking a guy I have known since 2005 from IUP. ugh. His name is Jeff. but he lives in Grove City. That's the only down fall in this whole story because we really like one another and want to be with one another but distance is in question here.....we dont know how it is going to work with the distance in play for us. I just hope it works out for us because I really like him. There's not alot of guys I connect with on a communication level.....we can talk about anything with one another..I'm really falling for him. I can't help myself., I just want him to be my boyfriend (: I want to be his girlfriend so bad!! (: I just really hope that this happens for me.....let it happen!! (:
Okay. Well I think I wrote a book for one night. Keep you posted on everything new that is happening in my life (:
I still talk to Josh here and there. When he wants to see me and hang out he texts me. we're like best friends now. And I think it's awesome (: I know we are better than friends than being in a relationship..we're two totally different people!! (:
PEACE OUT <3
xoxo