Words.
I haven't written in a while, but rather than pretend that I'm going to be able to write a long entry or two that will catch you up on everything that's happened since my last post, which never works, I'm just going to do a kind of "stream of consciousness" thing and see how that goes.
No mozzarella on a a ham and swiss sandwich. I fucking hate people.
Loss of innocence. One of the few things you can count on in life. It happens to everybody. At some point, you realize that not everything in the world is good. That some things are simply very, very bad and that they really do happen to you. Sometimes this happens more than once, as if a repeated reminder of this fact. The poet William Blake, one of my favorite poets, believed that there were three stages of human life: Untested Innocence, Experience, and Tested Innocence. He didn't believe in Original Sin, but rather that we were all pure when we entered the world. Eventually, reality kicks us in the face and we see the world for what it really is. This is the state of Experience. However, by living a good life, and not succumbing to the temptations of apathy and the establishment, we could overcome this and reenter a state of Innocence. One of his works called "The Book of Thel" deals with a young angel (if I'm remembering it correctly) who sees the state of Experience and runs back to Untested Innocence. This is not the correct course of action. Choosing to remain with Innocence untested is basically choosing to be ignorant. It is a cowardly way. However one must not wallow in Experience. To do this is to simply become bitter and be overcome by the world's evil. You must experience the world's evils, and then overcome them, transcend them, into a better state of Innocence, one that actively separates you from the ignorant and the corrupt. Its difficult, obviously, and as I said, often times we have our Innocence taken away again and again of the course of our lives. Don't fall victim to the worlds darkness. Fight it. Trust, love, and give. And read William Blake.
I hate closed doors. Too many bad things happen behind them that you're not allowed to stop.
Interruption. Continue.
Why are you reading this? Why the fuck am I writing it? I hate this cryptic shit, skirting around the issues, but some things just can't be said. I'm scared of the consequences, and this is neither the nor the place.
David, Meghan, and I are living together now. Hooray!
My emotions got the better of me the other day. This doesn't happen often. It scared me, and embarrassed me. I don't like it. I don't know why it happened, or maybe I do and I don't I don't want to admit it. I'm scared of what it might mean. Its bad.
Interruption. Continue. Probably another one soon.
What was I saying? I can't remember. I fucking hate that.
Why am I doing this? Its fucking stupid. I'm just asking for trouble. I hate the need to be needed. Fucking hate it.
There's a recurring theme in my life for the past several years. I can't figure out of its a calling from God or a fucked up complex. Maybe its both.
Elliott Smith is beautiful.
The internet is NOT your friend. Save it anyway. The radio too.
I loved Channel Zero. Brian Wood is a god. Channel Zero was his first comic work, I believe he started it as a project in college. He never really read many comics before that, which is a rarity for a comic book writer. Its amazing to see what a young mind without any preconceived notions about what the art form should be can do with it. Amazing. I love it.
Thank you to everyone who came the party this past weekend. The house is much warmer now.
There must have been more I wanted to say, but it escapes me now. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
We're going to watch Studio Ghibli's new film Tales of Earthsea now. Its an anime adaptation of Ursula K. Le Guin's fantasy series. Sounds interesting.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck. I'm sorry about this. Blah. Whatver.
"Its hard to be the better man, when you forget you're trying." - Brand New, "Handcuffs"
No mozzarella on a a ham and swiss sandwich. I fucking hate people.
Loss of innocence. One of the few things you can count on in life. It happens to everybody. At some point, you realize that not everything in the world is good. That some things are simply very, very bad and that they really do happen to you. Sometimes this happens more than once, as if a repeated reminder of this fact. The poet William Blake, one of my favorite poets, believed that there were three stages of human life: Untested Innocence, Experience, and Tested Innocence. He didn't believe in Original Sin, but rather that we were all pure when we entered the world. Eventually, reality kicks us in the face and we see the world for what it really is. This is the state of Experience. However, by living a good life, and not succumbing to the temptations of apathy and the establishment, we could overcome this and reenter a state of Innocence. One of his works called "The Book of Thel" deals with a young angel (if I'm remembering it correctly) who sees the state of Experience and runs back to Untested Innocence. This is not the correct course of action. Choosing to remain with Innocence untested is basically choosing to be ignorant. It is a cowardly way. However one must not wallow in Experience. To do this is to simply become bitter and be overcome by the world's evil. You must experience the world's evils, and then overcome them, transcend them, into a better state of Innocence, one that actively separates you from the ignorant and the corrupt. Its difficult, obviously, and as I said, often times we have our Innocence taken away again and again of the course of our lives. Don't fall victim to the worlds darkness. Fight it. Trust, love, and give. And read William Blake.
I hate closed doors. Too many bad things happen behind them that you're not allowed to stop.
Interruption. Continue.
Why are you reading this? Why the fuck am I writing it? I hate this cryptic shit, skirting around the issues, but some things just can't be said. I'm scared of the consequences, and this is neither the nor the place.
David, Meghan, and I are living together now. Hooray!
My emotions got the better of me the other day. This doesn't happen often. It scared me, and embarrassed me. I don't like it. I don't know why it happened, or maybe I do and I don't I don't want to admit it. I'm scared of what it might mean. Its bad.
Interruption. Continue. Probably another one soon.
What was I saying? I can't remember. I fucking hate that.
Why am I doing this? Its fucking stupid. I'm just asking for trouble. I hate the need to be needed. Fucking hate it.
There's a recurring theme in my life for the past several years. I can't figure out of its a calling from God or a fucked up complex. Maybe its both.
Elliott Smith is beautiful.
The internet is NOT your friend. Save it anyway. The radio too.
I loved Channel Zero. Brian Wood is a god. Channel Zero was his first comic work, I believe he started it as a project in college. He never really read many comics before that, which is a rarity for a comic book writer. Its amazing to see what a young mind without any preconceived notions about what the art form should be can do with it. Amazing. I love it.
Thank you to everyone who came the party this past weekend. The house is much warmer now.
There must have been more I wanted to say, but it escapes me now. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
We're going to watch Studio Ghibli's new film Tales of Earthsea now. Its an anime adaptation of Ursula K. Le Guin's fantasy series. Sounds interesting.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck. I'm sorry about this. Blah. Whatver.
"Its hard to be the better man, when you forget you're trying." - Brand New, "Handcuffs"