leave me alone, I am sick of you.
This morning my sickness was worsend by 10. I made Cory go get me some day-quil and now I am just a mixture of jittery and run-down. I can not hear out of my left ear whatsoever, and my right ear is almost as bad. When I talk, in my head it sounds like I am talking with ear muffs on. When I eat, it sounds like I am holding my hands over my ears listening to the chewing. It is very, very annoying. Last night I had to work and I couldn't hear my customers, so I am sure they thought I was a dumbass because I had to keep asking them over and over what they wanted. Cory left with Cody and they were supposed to go to Jawarines and eat breakfast, come back and watch Napolien Dynamite with me because I haven't got to see it....but that was 3 1/2 hours ago. . . So I don't know where he went or if he is even coming back. I don't care that much though, because I feel like shit and look the way I feel so seeing people right now isn't my best option. There are so many things that hurt right now.
Cory said he saw Morgan last night and she said she was going to call him because "something happend this week." I have no idea what she could possibly tell him but I hope it's nothing about me. I took a risk trusting her with the confused feelings I had and now I am a little worried. I don't exactly think she is like, some back-stabbing nark. But almost everything that caused me and Cory to have those huge, heart wrenching breakups and arguments was caused by things he had "heard" and I later found out from all these different people that Morgan is where he "heard" them from. I am not saying I believe all these people, because they might have been just covering there own asses. But Cory has told me the things Morgan told him, Like the night that I was with Jeff, Mal and Steven and me and Cory were fighting a lot and I dropped Jeff off at Hucks to avoid running into Cory at Jeff's house and causing a huge fight, possibly getting him and Jeff into a fight, and even more drama that could have been avoided easily but just having Drew take him home instead of me, but then Cory tells me that Morgan told him all about how I dropped Jeff off at Hucks so he wouldn't see me with him and I just didn't understand why she would do that to me. She also showed him some conversation between her and Maloree where Maloree mentions "I don't know what Kristina and Jeff are, they hold hands and they kiss sometimes but for now I think it's just a fling." But when I asked her about it she told me all she meant to show him was the part where I was saying nice things about him, and the whole Jeff part just got slipped in on "accident." I didn't believe that eithier. I mean, it's possible, but usually things that happen that much aren't on accident. And then later Lindsey Falls told me how her and Morgan were hanging out with Cory and Morgan says something like "I am not supposed to say anything, but Kristina and Jeff...." and I am not even going to finish the sentence because it does still piss me off. I admit, I was mad at her. I felt hurt and lied to, because she was my friend. And I thought and still think highley of her...so why would she fuck me? I am over it now. I don't even know how much of it is true. The one basic thing everyone needs to know, Mind your own fucking business. There were other people who ran there mouths on me too, but I am over it. I like Morgan a lot. She is so smart for someone younger, and she gives good advice and can make you feel better when you are the lowest.I have regained trust for her, and I hope nothing messes that up again, because I really like talking to her. I mean, I know a few things about her she probably wouldn't want thrown around for everyone to hear, so I respect that. But all I can say is, to anyone, if you run your mouth about me, I will find a better way to tell everyone what you don't want known about you.
anyway, had to get that out. I hope if she sees this she isn't offended, I am just blowing off steam and fear.
but the sick stomach is taking over, I am going to go lie down now.
Cory said he saw Morgan last night and she said she was going to call him because "something happend this week." I have no idea what she could possibly tell him but I hope it's nothing about me. I took a risk trusting her with the confused feelings I had and now I am a little worried. I don't exactly think she is like, some back-stabbing nark. But almost everything that caused me and Cory to have those huge, heart wrenching breakups and arguments was caused by things he had "heard" and I later found out from all these different people that Morgan is where he "heard" them from. I am not saying I believe all these people, because they might have been just covering there own asses. But Cory has told me the things Morgan told him, Like the night that I was with Jeff, Mal and Steven and me and Cory were fighting a lot and I dropped Jeff off at Hucks to avoid running into Cory at Jeff's house and causing a huge fight, possibly getting him and Jeff into a fight, and even more drama that could have been avoided easily but just having Drew take him home instead of me, but then Cory tells me that Morgan told him all about how I dropped Jeff off at Hucks so he wouldn't see me with him and I just didn't understand why she would do that to me. She also showed him some conversation between her and Maloree where Maloree mentions "I don't know what Kristina and Jeff are, they hold hands and they kiss sometimes but for now I think it's just a fling." But when I asked her about it she told me all she meant to show him was the part where I was saying nice things about him, and the whole Jeff part just got slipped in on "accident." I didn't believe that eithier. I mean, it's possible, but usually things that happen that much aren't on accident. And then later Lindsey Falls told me how her and Morgan were hanging out with Cory and Morgan says something like "I am not supposed to say anything, but Kristina and Jeff...." and I am not even going to finish the sentence because it does still piss me off. I admit, I was mad at her. I felt hurt and lied to, because she was my friend. And I thought and still think highley of her...so why would she fuck me? I am over it now. I don't even know how much of it is true. The one basic thing everyone needs to know, Mind your own fucking business. There were other people who ran there mouths on me too, but I am over it. I like Morgan a lot. She is so smart for someone younger, and she gives good advice and can make you feel better when you are the lowest.I have regained trust for her, and I hope nothing messes that up again, because I really like talking to her. I mean, I know a few things about her she probably wouldn't want thrown around for everyone to hear, so I respect that. But all I can say is, to anyone, if you run your mouth about me, I will find a better way to tell everyone what you don't want known about you.
anyway, had to get that out. I hope if she sees this she isn't offended, I am just blowing off steam and fear.
but the sick stomach is taking over, I am going to go lie down now.