yeah, something that stupid.
I started talking to Mal again and a lot of things have cleared up in my life. I think maybe her and myself and all the others are all going to come back together like we once were.
Jeff Rhinerson and Shaggy were in a wreck. They are both okay, but I guess from what Mal told me, Jeff hit his head real hard and had a bad concoussion. And something about fluid in his brain which is never really good. I was a little worried. I mean despite the whole...awkward...not talking to eachother thing, I never want to hear about any of my friends hurt. So I called him to see how he was feeling. I kind of regret it and maybe I shouldn't have now. the conversation went as follows:
Him: hello
Me: Hi! (overly enthusiastic to cover up how stupid I felt)
Him: who....is this?
Me: It's Kristina...
Him: *fucking silence*
Me: Well...I uh, just wanted to make sure you are okay...
Him: Oh, yeah..
Me: I heard you got into a wreck, I was just calling to make sure you know...your not dead..
Him: Oh yeah, I'm fine.
more S i l e n c e
Both of us at the same time: Okay!
Me: okay, I am sorry..I will let you go, okay..
bye-
bye.
Blahhh.....
It was weird. And he sounded weird. It's going to sound stupid, but for some reason Im just not over it.
I want it to go away but for some reason it won't. And it has been months now. I don't understand. Whenever we talked online he told me he didn't hate me anymore and that we should be friends, so I agreed. But he didn't really sound like my friend on the phone. I don't know why, because when we talked he was always cool but on the phone it was unwanted, sadly that affects me still. he dropped out of college and moved back home, and now I have a pretty good feeling I am going to see him around a lot more. Especially since I plan on hanging out with Mal again now that she has been sort of pushed out of the "circle" and we can get back to all being friends the way we once were. I miss her and Steven the most. They were my most fun to be with friends. And now they are together and it's still the same which is rare, because most couples get overly-involved with eachother, but they still leave room for me to come around which makes me feel better. I need friends right now, I am at a point where the best thing for me to do would be what is familiar to me. I want to go do all the shit I used to do. I will be happier I think, plus me and Cory need time apart and thats harder when it is just him leaving and me here alone, then it becomes more of a lonely thing that anything. I love him very much, and I would give him the world if I could, I am happy when he is happy. But his behavior latley is different, and it kind of makes me sad. I guess I should have figured the romantic, flower-giving date-taking thing would end. I miss it terribly. I want there to be romance in what we have.
Well, I work from 2-10 today and I am up this early from too much dreaming and questions running through my head. Maybe what I am thinking in my head will come true and I will figure some things out.
Jeff Rhinerson and Shaggy were in a wreck. They are both okay, but I guess from what Mal told me, Jeff hit his head real hard and had a bad concoussion. And something about fluid in his brain which is never really good. I was a little worried. I mean despite the whole...awkward...not talking to eachother thing, I never want to hear about any of my friends hurt. So I called him to see how he was feeling. I kind of regret it and maybe I shouldn't have now. the conversation went as follows:
Him: hello
Me: Hi! (overly enthusiastic to cover up how stupid I felt)
Him: who....is this?
Me: It's Kristina...
Him: *fucking silence*
Me: Well...I uh, just wanted to make sure you are okay...
Him: Oh, yeah..
Me: I heard you got into a wreck, I was just calling to make sure you know...your not dead..
Him: Oh yeah, I'm fine.
more S i l e n c e
Both of us at the same time: Okay!
Me: okay, I am sorry..I will let you go, okay..
bye-
bye.
Blahhh.....
It was weird. And he sounded weird. It's going to sound stupid, but for some reason Im just not over it.
I want it to go away but for some reason it won't. And it has been months now. I don't understand. Whenever we talked online he told me he didn't hate me anymore and that we should be friends, so I agreed. But he didn't really sound like my friend on the phone. I don't know why, because when we talked he was always cool but on the phone it was unwanted, sadly that affects me still. he dropped out of college and moved back home, and now I have a pretty good feeling I am going to see him around a lot more. Especially since I plan on hanging out with Mal again now that she has been sort of pushed out of the "circle" and we can get back to all being friends the way we once were. I miss her and Steven the most. They were my most fun to be with friends. And now they are together and it's still the same which is rare, because most couples get overly-involved with eachother, but they still leave room for me to come around which makes me feel better. I need friends right now, I am at a point where the best thing for me to do would be what is familiar to me. I want to go do all the shit I used to do. I will be happier I think, plus me and Cory need time apart and thats harder when it is just him leaving and me here alone, then it becomes more of a lonely thing that anything. I love him very much, and I would give him the world if I could, I am happy when he is happy. But his behavior latley is different, and it kind of makes me sad. I guess I should have figured the romantic, flower-giving date-taking thing would end. I miss it terribly. I want there to be romance in what we have.
Well, I work from 2-10 today and I am up this early from too much dreaming and questions running through my head. Maybe what I am thinking in my head will come true and I will figure some things out.