(no subject)
Salut
I haven't been able to sleep lately. I'll fall asleep at around 12ish then wake up at 2 and get back to sleep around 5. Hence, I am now wide awake and channel surfing. I'm tempted to take sleeping pills but the addiction scares me more than the lack of sleep.
There was blood in my stool earlier which is kind of scary. I'll deal with that when I have some free time- ha!
Paul and I are having some difficulties right now because of the distance. I know its not huge but somehow it feels like I might as well just be in Europe. I tend to get upset a lot and he is busy but we're working through it. I guess we just need practice. Is that the right word?
I've been ravenously hungry the past week. My stomach is growling now. Its probably because I start my period this week. urgh
I'm fighting the urge to call Paul. I feel so lonely here. I mean, I spend my friday nights alone at fencing and then out to eat by myself. I spend the rest of the time working on my paper/ aka studying dead people. Dead people and foils don't talk or help you feel better.
I can feel it creeping in. When I have a bad day or I get really upset- its like a hand slowly tightening over my heart. Its like my stomach was never meant to hold food and the world is dark, lonely, and mean.
I've been feeling frustrated lately with my weight. Its really hard to find clothes because my chest makes shirts too tight across the chest and too short and I am right in between a size 10 and 12.I'm not super unhappy with my body- I just don't enjoy shopping as much anymore. I've cried a few times in some fitting rooms. Add "unfair" to my list above.
Why is nothing good on tv this early in the morning? sheesh
I'm ready to move back to Atlanta.
Au revior
I haven't been able to sleep lately. I'll fall asleep at around 12ish then wake up at 2 and get back to sleep around 5. Hence, I am now wide awake and channel surfing. I'm tempted to take sleeping pills but the addiction scares me more than the lack of sleep.
There was blood in my stool earlier which is kind of scary. I'll deal with that when I have some free time- ha!
Paul and I are having some difficulties right now because of the distance. I know its not huge but somehow it feels like I might as well just be in Europe. I tend to get upset a lot and he is busy but we're working through it. I guess we just need practice. Is that the right word?
I've been ravenously hungry the past week. My stomach is growling now. Its probably because I start my period this week. urgh
I'm fighting the urge to call Paul. I feel so lonely here. I mean, I spend my friday nights alone at fencing and then out to eat by myself. I spend the rest of the time working on my paper/ aka studying dead people. Dead people and foils don't talk or help you feel better.
I can feel it creeping in. When I have a bad day or I get really upset- its like a hand slowly tightening over my heart. Its like my stomach was never meant to hold food and the world is dark, lonely, and mean.
I've been feeling frustrated lately with my weight. Its really hard to find clothes because my chest makes shirts too tight across the chest and too short and I am right in between a size 10 and 12.I'm not super unhappy with my body- I just don't enjoy shopping as much anymore. I've cried a few times in some fitting rooms. Add "unfair" to my list above.
Why is nothing good on tv this early in the morning? sheesh
I'm ready to move back to Atlanta.
Au revior