so close but yet so far
there are people outside my house and i envy them.
its kind of irritating that the entries go in backwards order because of course im getting back to weather, but in a more morbid kind of way. its getting so chilly and everything is going to slowly start dying. granted plants and bugs are really the least of my worries, even if mrs rankin told me to be a botanist. its just i get so sad during the winter. i cant afford anymore depression. plus the fact that i dont have my best friend around and i honestly think she can put my mood in a 180 motion.
you see me and diana have been friends for i dont know 14 years. scratch that, we have known each other 14 years, not exactly friends or even friendly. i was down right horrid to her,but she is an angel and forgave me (mind you i went through a major personality revamp 8-9th grade, i imagine it did me good?) anyway, now she is down right the most important person not including choice members of my family, yes she tops probably a good portion of my extended family. she has lived across the street from me those 14 years and i have spent the last 4 years doing just about everything with her. i find it incredibly hard to go to something with out her now a days (i text her while im there to feel close to her). thats right she up and left me to go to college.. COLLEGE FUCKING COLLEGE. haha granted she is in manhattan and i more or less could see her everyday in essence if i needed to but thats rather expensive and she only has so many visitor rights. okayyyyy the point of this isssss I MISS HER more than words could explain. the past month has been the hardest month of my entire life and i kind of sit around wishing i could walk across the street and lay on her bed and just vent things or just do anything we do. we are the queens of having the best time doing more or less nothing. you all need your big parties, your beers, your clubs.. we need literally nothing. stick us in a white room with a box of 64 crayons and we probably would need a new box before we got bored. its kind of beautiful- so ive been told. apparently our friendship is envied. however, i kind of sometimes say if god were to of given me a choice (granted i wouldnt had known i would had been so lucky) of a perfect best friend or many friends and long boyfriend relationships and more happiness than ever sadness. id chose the latter. if god were to ask me today to give up my perfect best friend for all that other good stuff id laugh in gods face. the two of us have been through more groups of friends, and reused those groups of friends (haha like farmingdale we are constantly living half our life in farmingdale), literally the best of times (hiiiiii i took over 3/4 of the west coast for 2 weeks with my best friend and did things they do news programs on telling children not to do), and the utter worst of times (no need to repeat) . you see ive got her back always, and i know shes got mine. of course we disagree. of course we've argued but at the end of the day we are like an old married couple, we arent going to go to bed mad.
i love you diana =)
ps we cant stop being friends, i wont have any aunts for my children.
its kind of irritating that the entries go in backwards order because of course im getting back to weather, but in a more morbid kind of way. its getting so chilly and everything is going to slowly start dying. granted plants and bugs are really the least of my worries, even if mrs rankin told me to be a botanist. its just i get so sad during the winter. i cant afford anymore depression. plus the fact that i dont have my best friend around and i honestly think she can put my mood in a 180 motion.
you see me and diana have been friends for i dont know 14 years. scratch that, we have known each other 14 years, not exactly friends or even friendly. i was down right horrid to her,but she is an angel and forgave me (mind you i went through a major personality revamp 8-9th grade, i imagine it did me good?) anyway, now she is down right the most important person not including choice members of my family, yes she tops probably a good portion of my extended family. she has lived across the street from me those 14 years and i have spent the last 4 years doing just about everything with her. i find it incredibly hard to go to something with out her now a days (i text her while im there to feel close to her). thats right she up and left me to go to college.. COLLEGE FUCKING COLLEGE. haha granted she is in manhattan and i more or less could see her everyday in essence if i needed to but thats rather expensive and she only has so many visitor rights. okayyyyy the point of this isssss I MISS HER more than words could explain. the past month has been the hardest month of my entire life and i kind of sit around wishing i could walk across the street and lay on her bed and just vent things or just do anything we do. we are the queens of having the best time doing more or less nothing. you all need your big parties, your beers, your clubs.. we need literally nothing. stick us in a white room with a box of 64 crayons and we probably would need a new box before we got bored. its kind of beautiful- so ive been told. apparently our friendship is envied. however, i kind of sometimes say if god were to of given me a choice (granted i wouldnt had known i would had been so lucky) of a perfect best friend or many friends and long boyfriend relationships and more happiness than ever sadness. id chose the latter. if god were to ask me today to give up my perfect best friend for all that other good stuff id laugh in gods face. the two of us have been through more groups of friends, and reused those groups of friends (haha like farmingdale we are constantly living half our life in farmingdale), literally the best of times (hiiiiii i took over 3/4 of the west coast for 2 weeks with my best friend and did things they do news programs on telling children not to do), and the utter worst of times (no need to repeat) . you see ive got her back always, and i know shes got mine. of course we disagree. of course we've argued but at the end of the day we are like an old married couple, we arent going to go to bed mad.
i love you diana =)
ps we cant stop being friends, i wont have any aunts for my children.