Holy Shit!
I'm the weirdest fucking thing ever! I just read the last twenty of my journal entries(not including this one) and man have I grown to know myself and my past a bit better! I'm overwhlemed with thoughts of the old days, when P-ville was in its prime and my friends only smoked cigs and occasionally drank, as opposed to getting high at least once a ggin day! I loved p-ville, and i loved my friends, but more and more things seem to fall apart and fade.
For the first time in a while I hung out with local friends today. Mike Predovan, Matt Carvalho, Sean Fuster, Kyle Moran, this guy John who's pretty chill, Jake Brooks, Jake Carnabuchi, Frankie Pennachio, Will fricken McAndrew. some smoke, drink, or get high, but I don't care because I don't touch that crap, and if they want to spoil themselves, i've learned to live with it. I used to try to get Dan to stop smoking, but I'm tired of offend my friends. It's bad as hell for them, but it's really their choice, and they know that if they do it around me, I might split.
We went to Mike's house and played music/ super smash bros./ went into town/ broadway field/ Sean, Frank, Jake B., and I went to p-ville/ saw Dan on his way to work/ went to BRS/ it rained/ Me, Sean, and Jake ran to Sean's house/ had some pizza/ listened to music/ went on computer/ i got driven home. Sean parents are so nice. I want to be his sibling.
I'm depressed about p-ville and other things. Nothing seems to be the same. I get too attached to the ways things are, and in my youth, I loved the things I did. I want it all back. I haven't even grown up yet and I want to be young again.
I'm working at Mt. Pleasant Town Pool now-a-days. It's a cool job, but thunderstorms always seem to be on Wed. and Thurs. my days off. A kid, Vullo, got fired for talking on the phone in chair, etc. I, a horrible swimmer, am teaching lessons with other guards. My work schedule is 12-8 sat, sun, 9-8 mon, tues, fri, 9-12 wed, thurs. It comes out to about 50-60 hours a week at $7.75. Guarding can be kinda stressful. Some parents don't have brains, and the same go for kids. Most people are good about but there are occasional jerks.
NOATS is trying to finish the cd we started in December before tour so that we can sell it on tour. Tour is 3 weeks long, and I'm expected to pay for a lot of it. We need to write more songs.
I quit track and XC (big mistake) only to finally come back in the spring while doing crew (i was a coxen). i did bowling in the winter, and I was decent. in the fall i tried for soccer and didn't make it luckily. i wanted to make a fall season backwards video in the style of the p-ville video but things fell through. i have some footage and nothing to edit it with. I got 9'6" in pv this spring, which is nice considering how weak i am. to loosely quote an old entry, i gotta train, man. i friggin weak.
i bought a wallet the other day from DeSean an old pv-er. i have a permit. i'm making money. it's been over a year since i got my last Buffy season, yet i only have one left. HP movie 5 came out at midnight, and i meant to see it today, w/e. 7th and final book comes out soon. i didn't give sean his belt back.
I went out from December 23rd to February 17th(ish) with Mackenzie Mollo of White Plains. It was a poor first relationship on my part, and I wasn't really involving myself in it very much. I don't want to go out with anyone for a good while, but people at the pool want me to go out with Genny Oliver. I really don't want to be involved hitw anyone right now, but they won't shut up. Genny is just my friend.
I want to buy a decent synth and make a somewhat solo project called "This is Jackolatern!" but I don't know how much money i'll need for tour. tour last summer was cool. a week and a half going halfway down the east coast and back. some good times. some people take high school romance way too seriously (just an open thought.) i want to run for president next spring at my school. hair regulations are lame but w/e. my hair has only been this long once before, like two summers ago or so.
i seem to have no social life lately. my little social activity is hanging out at shows. i've gone to p-ville less than 5 times in the last most of a year, and people are changing a lot.
television kinda sucks. i've found myself last and this summer watching Kyle XY which is so cheesy and rediculous. simpsons movie will be a disappointment i'm sure.
yesterday i rode my bike to work and only stopped once. riding home i didn't stop at all. i take multivitamins now.
i find myself doing things in shifts. for a week at a time, i'll be good about doing school work, or taking showers and cleaning my room and stuff, but then i face a regression. i'll be doing a lot of stuff, then suddenly nothing at all.
i haven't really done much of my rediculous summer reading yet. 7 books, at least 1 assignment each, and 6 chapters of AP US notes.
i need new clothes. i need to eat healthier. i need to F myself less. i need to stop procrastinating. i need to grown a pair. i need to let loose. i need to stop being the always amiable guy who is desperate to have everyone like him but compulsivly be a jerk acting stupid. if i don't like someone or they give me trouble i should f-ing stand up about. i've already started swearing more again. online it's a different story.
i miss my old friends.
i like my news friends.
i hope i'll have good friends in the future.
if you read all of this, MAD Props to you. i'm really not so interesting.
For the first time in a while I hung out with local friends today. Mike Predovan, Matt Carvalho, Sean Fuster, Kyle Moran, this guy John who's pretty chill, Jake Brooks, Jake Carnabuchi, Frankie Pennachio, Will fricken McAndrew. some smoke, drink, or get high, but I don't care because I don't touch that crap, and if they want to spoil themselves, i've learned to live with it. I used to try to get Dan to stop smoking, but I'm tired of offend my friends. It's bad as hell for them, but it's really their choice, and they know that if they do it around me, I might split.
We went to Mike's house and played music/ super smash bros./ went into town/ broadway field/ Sean, Frank, Jake B., and I went to p-ville/ saw Dan on his way to work/ went to BRS/ it rained/ Me, Sean, and Jake ran to Sean's house/ had some pizza/ listened to music/ went on computer/ i got driven home. Sean parents are so nice. I want to be his sibling.
I'm depressed about p-ville and other things. Nothing seems to be the same. I get too attached to the ways things are, and in my youth, I loved the things I did. I want it all back. I haven't even grown up yet and I want to be young again.
I'm working at Mt. Pleasant Town Pool now-a-days. It's a cool job, but thunderstorms always seem to be on Wed. and Thurs. my days off. A kid, Vullo, got fired for talking on the phone in chair, etc. I, a horrible swimmer, am teaching lessons with other guards. My work schedule is 12-8 sat, sun, 9-8 mon, tues, fri, 9-12 wed, thurs. It comes out to about 50-60 hours a week at $7.75. Guarding can be kinda stressful. Some parents don't have brains, and the same go for kids. Most people are good about but there are occasional jerks.
NOATS is trying to finish the cd we started in December before tour so that we can sell it on tour. Tour is 3 weeks long, and I'm expected to pay for a lot of it. We need to write more songs.
I quit track and XC (big mistake) only to finally come back in the spring while doing crew (i was a coxen). i did bowling in the winter, and I was decent. in the fall i tried for soccer and didn't make it luckily. i wanted to make a fall season backwards video in the style of the p-ville video but things fell through. i have some footage and nothing to edit it with. I got 9'6" in pv this spring, which is nice considering how weak i am. to loosely quote an old entry, i gotta train, man. i friggin weak.
i bought a wallet the other day from DeSean an old pv-er. i have a permit. i'm making money. it's been over a year since i got my last Buffy season, yet i only have one left. HP movie 5 came out at midnight, and i meant to see it today, w/e. 7th and final book comes out soon. i didn't give sean his belt back.
I went out from December 23rd to February 17th(ish) with Mackenzie Mollo of White Plains. It was a poor first relationship on my part, and I wasn't really involving myself in it very much. I don't want to go out with anyone for a good while, but people at the pool want me to go out with Genny Oliver. I really don't want to be involved hitw anyone right now, but they won't shut up. Genny is just my friend.
I want to buy a decent synth and make a somewhat solo project called "This is Jackolatern!" but I don't know how much money i'll need for tour. tour last summer was cool. a week and a half going halfway down the east coast and back. some good times. some people take high school romance way too seriously (just an open thought.) i want to run for president next spring at my school. hair regulations are lame but w/e. my hair has only been this long once before, like two summers ago or so.
i seem to have no social life lately. my little social activity is hanging out at shows. i've gone to p-ville less than 5 times in the last most of a year, and people are changing a lot.
television kinda sucks. i've found myself last and this summer watching Kyle XY which is so cheesy and rediculous. simpsons movie will be a disappointment i'm sure.
yesterday i rode my bike to work and only stopped once. riding home i didn't stop at all. i take multivitamins now.
i find myself doing things in shifts. for a week at a time, i'll be good about doing school work, or taking showers and cleaning my room and stuff, but then i face a regression. i'll be doing a lot of stuff, then suddenly nothing at all.
i haven't really done much of my rediculous summer reading yet. 7 books, at least 1 assignment each, and 6 chapters of AP US notes.
i need new clothes. i need to eat healthier. i need to F myself less. i need to stop procrastinating. i need to grown a pair. i need to let loose. i need to stop being the always amiable guy who is desperate to have everyone like him but compulsivly be a jerk acting stupid. if i don't like someone or they give me trouble i should f-ing stand up about. i've already started swearing more again. online it's a different story.
i miss my old friends.
i like my news friends.
i hope i'll have good friends in the future.
if you read all of this, MAD Props to you. i'm really not so interesting.