(no subject)
The time has come in my life to realize that I have no clue what I am doing. There is this really great guy that whats to be with me...but for some reason I have no attraction to him what so ever. I feel horrible....I feel like I have to be with him or else I am hurting him and hurting people is just not me. I try to be a fair person and treat everyone kindly. Sometimes I think I put everyone else infront of my feelings. Then there is the friend who has always promised me that she would be there for me and yet if I want to talk to her I have to call her she never calls me at all and I always get the same friggin excuses over and over and over agian.... I am just done with this bull...I am done with the super nice guy not understanding that I dont want to date him.... and feeling even worse when I have to turn him down. I am done with the friends that say they are there for me and yet a frickin day later you are off with someone else not even caring that my heart is broken. Maybe life was meant to be spent alone for years at a time... maybe thats how people get to understand who they really are. The thing I dont understand at all is why the hell people put on a show for everyone else....why is it that you know you dont like someone as a friend and yet instead of telling them you put on the fakest smile and pretend to be best friends... I am sick of hearing the crap after words of how they annoy you and how they never shut up...IF THEY ANNOY YOU THAT FRICKING MUCH THEN JUST TELL THEM ALREADY AND STOP BOTHERING ME WITH IT!!!! I am not getting paid hourly(actually I'm not getting paid at all) to listen to your problems. I know friends are suppose to be caring and listen and yes i do that do a point far more than I really should but I am just sick of all of this high school crap. I am sick of being the go-to-person... noone asks me how i am doing or whats new in my life instead they ask if I have a free second so they can bitch and moan and complain....well I am deff done with it all....ok enough rambling for now....but I do feel better.