(no subject)

Nov 14, 2004 12:24

I dont know where to start. I sat here last night and just looked at myself. questions start running through my mind... Is this the way i wanna look?... Am i the person I want to be?... am I the person i was a month or so ago?.. These are question i cant really answer. I know I have been spending a lot of my time with John but its hard to spend time with anyone else when no one askes me to do things. I mean i would go hang out with my friends IF THEY ASKED ME.. I dont have to spend every damn mintue with John he has his life to have to he has his friends to see. Then that is the next thing that come into my head are the people that say they are my friend really my friend or are they just saying that caus they feel bad for me. I am a loner, i have been one since day one. Never really had a big group of friends. Yeah i know a lot of people but they were what i would consider a friend. The next thing that comes to mind is What on this earth am i here for....Yes i have a wonderful Boyfriend and My two best friends in the world Jackie and Tonia. But Why does shit always seem to come down on me. Why cant some people understand that i have feelings to and yes i get hurt alot. I cry a lot i get mad alot and i stress about the littlest thing but thats me. I want to be a better person but i dont know what i need to change. I just think its time for me to go see my shrink. *sighs* I need a hug.
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