So...maybe things dont always have to be on the up...

Jun 10, 2005 18:10

As fast as the summer is going, i feel like it is at a stand-still.So many things are happening, both good and bad....

My work hours are long and so tiring. But, when the paychecks come in, it is usually so much better. Well..we got an eviction notice today and instead of me having the paycheck, i gave it to my dad. I dont want to get thrown out of these apartments. They are nice apartments. This yet again makes me so mad at my mother. Makes me the more bitter. Makes me resent her even more. I love her, but some of the things that she is still doing to me and my father, make our life more difficult than it has to be. Bitch...!

Tommorrow is the Toby Keith concert...I know it will be a wicked awesome time. Brandon,Lil John, Barry,Kyle,Opi,Kim,Nikki,Britt,Margue and even Trey. Tailgating around 5:30pm and then the show at 7:30pm. Then a wonderful day off on sunday. I look forward to this weekend.

Now...my thoughts...(venting kinda)
I miss my dad. I miss him and the company he brings me. Its so funny, because im still living with him-im not even gone yet. But i never see him...he is always working and as am i.Last monday, it was so great.We had lunch together and even had enough time to go see The Longest Yard togather before we had to go to work. He is such an amazing man and thinking about it, i will miss him so much more when i leave in August.
My grandmother is not in good shape at all. There are so many things that i would like to tell her, but she is not in the right frame of mind to tell her them. Then again, i had so much to tell my grandpa, but he had a heart attack the week before my birthday (17) and i wasnt able to tell him. I cant get over not having him here. It has almost been an entire year and i am still in disbelief. The time is coming around again for the anniversary of his death and im afraid that if im alone, i might loose it. Im not ready to face it yet.I cry so much now. I never used to cry this much, but just little tings. The little things that remind me of him, or of Kelly or of Jaimee.
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