[Fic] for all your wishes
Title: for all your wishes
Pairing: YooSu/ JaeSu (one-sided)/ JYJ-friendship
Length: Oneshot
Rating: PG
Summary: Jaejoong is selfish, he knows he is. But it doesn't stop him from having these wishes...or for wishing they never came true.
A/N: Done in collaboration with my sister who prompted me with the idea, which we both fleshed out. Most of the writing is her's and I just helped fill in with characterizations and flourishes of my own. Graphic is mine as well ^^
"Be careful what you wish for."
It's an old adage. A cliché.
I had never put much faith in it. What harm could wishes do? Such quiet, little things. They're private possessions, a secret desire. You don't have to tell a soul.
(Sometimes, when they looked at each other, I would feel myself visibly melt away, my position in the middle becoming periphery, no longer as important in their eyes, in his eyes. And what good could wishes do? Such impossible, selfish things?)
It's like all the other clichés in the world that shouldn't be true: the fairytale, the curse, the princess or the prince woken up by their one true love's kiss.
But the true love isn't supposed to fall asleep in their place. And the fairytale isn't supposed to repeat.
There's supposed to be an ending to the story, a happily ever after. But there's only me and him and someone waiting for a kiss that I can never give.
---
Junsu is speaking to Yoochun again. He always does, before he goes to sleep.
"...I know you always forget to feed yourself when you get in one of your composing frenzies," he chuckles. "I don't think that'll ever change about you...you always make me worry…Just remember to take care of yourself, okay?”
He caresses Yoochun's hair, gently, before turning to me. "Could you tell him that for me?" Before, Yoochun would have lightly protested, saying that Junsu was just as bad; disappearing without a text or call before reappearing again. Now, Yoochun doesn’t stir at all. They both made me worry.
Of course I'll tell him. But I ask, "Why don't you? You could always write him a letter." Make a video. A recording, a message left on his cell phone; as though you were on another one of your adventures, calling from your tour half a world over. Something that makes me feel less like an intruder, for all the hypocrite that I am to be grateful for it.
"But it's not the same, reading it or hearing it through a machine," Junsu laughs. "And if I remember correctly, you broke the last camcorder we got." There are some things that never change. I smile wanly at the comment.
"The sun isn't even up yet,” I say instead. “You could stay awake a bit longer."
Just a few minutes. It's a small suggestion, but it doesn't make it any less selfish. And I am selfish…with the both of them…with him.
"That wouldn't be fair," Junsu frowns playfully, like any of this could be fair.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. "I'm sorry."
But they never understand.
Junsu pokes me in the nose, making me go momentarily cross-eyed. "Then you can apologize to me by being my own personal cupid and helping me to deliver my Valentine."
It’s a cruel sort of irony. He kisses me on the cheek, and I feel the impression of his smile like a brand on my skin.
"I love you," he says.
Dreams are made in moments like this. Hearts are broken in silences like this.
"...yeah," I finally whisper. "I'll tell him that too."