(no subject)
So people back in Belltown have been spreading nasty rumors about me. I dont conisder myself to be an ugly person. I also don't consider to myself to be "a user of men." I DATE. Men do it all the time, why shouldn't I. Just because I don't let men walk all over me, does NOT mean I use them. Lesson to be learned. Be careful who you keep company with, there are people who primary form of entertainment is to tear-down and degrade others. DO NOT think these people wont eventually turn on you. It is sick to hear how people who were nice to my face down there (yeah those coke snorting, "I think I am so cool because I am richer than you", I hate you because you work hard and drive a BMW, and who think I am nothing because I was a personal trainer) people still get entertainment, in my absence of ripping on my name. It pisses me off. And I realize that I never want to go to Belltown again. It is no longer my home. Seattle is getting more and more tainted for me. Perhaps it is a sign that I need to really, truly move on. Ugh. I feel angry and hurt. Just disgusting. I so need to leave that world behind. I no longer belong there -- it is caustic to my soul, and I marvel at how many people I have touched in a negative way that they would want to rip on me like this? It makes me sad. I honestly try to do good to all those I come into contact with. And yes, especially the men I date. I feel it is a privledge to engage with someone, and just because I dont spill the gushy lovey-dovey parts of my relationships, all these imbiciles think I am harsh and a "user"..... What-fucking-ever.