Fic: In My Life
Title: In My Life
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Rating: PG-13 for language and boys kissing
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Author’s notes: This is my attempt at filling someone else’s prompt instead of my own! Written for bicegirl75 who wanted hurt/comfort from when the boys were sick at the end of tour, kissing on the forehead to check for fever turns into more. John Lennon provided the title, because I suck at thinking of them and that song was playing when I finished this ;). No beta, so all mistakes are my own. Please point out any typos if you see them! Also, since I apparently write fic now, a beta would probably be a good idea. Anybody wanna volunteer?
“Fuck, I feel awful.” Adam collapses next to Kris on the couch in the back of the boy’s bus. Kicking his boots off, he curls into a ball, turning his face into the leather, his head resting next to Kris’s pajama-clad thigh.
“I’m actually feeling a little better.” Two hours ago Kris was lying in his bunk, focusing on not throwing up the saltine crackers and ginger ale he had somehow thought were a good idea after talking to the crowd at intermission. Kris figures sitting up without the room spinning is progress.
Actually, he’s feeling a lot better. Kris shakes his head a little at that realization. Why couldn’t he have gotten over this three hours sooner? He hated having to disappoint everyone tonight. He probably could have made it through the show; he shouldn’t have let them talk him out of it.
“Maybe I should have performed.”
“Kris, shut up,” Adam groans out, voice muffled from where his face was still pressed into the couch. “You know you were in no shape to sing. Stop feeling guilty and just be happy you are feeling better.”
He rolls over and looks up at Kris irritably. “Unlike me, who feels like shit.” Adam shivers a little, pulling the jacket he is wearing a little closer around him. “And it’s fucking cold in here. Where’s that blanket you were wrapped in earlier?”
Kris hands him the knit throw from the back of the couch, brushing the back of his hand along Adam’s cheek as Adam wraps the blanket around himself.
“You feel a little warm. Do you have a fever?”
“I don’t know. Probably. It’s not like we have a fucking thermometer.”
“My mom always kisses me on the forehead to tell if I have a fever,” Kris smiles fondly at the memory. “She says it’s the best way to tell.”
Adam is quiet for a moment. His eyes are closed and Kris wonders if he has fallen asleep already. But he cracks an eye open after a moment and looks blearily at Kris. Adam snakes an arm out from his blanket cocoon and pulls his hair back, exposing his forehead.
“Well?” He looks up at Kris expectantly.
Kris laughs a little, but leans down obediently and brushes his lips against Adam’s forehead. Adam’s skin feels hot under Kris’s lips. He smells clean, like soap with a hint of vanilla. Kris recognizes it as the scent of Adam’s shampoo, the vanilla-scented brand he uses that is supposed to keep the color from fading out of his hair. The smell is comforting, familiar. It reminds Kris of evenings spent in the Idol mansion, sprawled with Adam on one of their beds, talking music or bitching about the judges’ comments or laughing as Adam told one of his over the top stories, eyes animated and hands gesturing excitedly.
Kris cards his fingers through Adam’s hair as he sits back up. Adam’s eyes are closed again and he hums contentedly at Kris’s touch. “What’s the verdict, Dr. Allen? Ninety-eight point six?”
“I don’t know. Your skin feels hotter than normal, I guess.”
“Oh, that’s helpful. Of course the kiss thermometer doesn’t work on me.”
Kris rolls his eyes at Adam’s sarcastic tone. ‘’I never said I could tell that way. Just my mom.”
“Too bad your mom doesn’t recommend more than a peck on the forehead.” Adam sighs and tucks his hand back under the blanket. “I could use a good kiss right now.”
Kris smiles a little at that, letting his fingers move back to play with Adam’s hair. Kris really could use a good kiss too. He and Katy are barely on speaking terms anymore. The long distance marriage is getting to both of them. They argue over things they used to laugh about and they just seem to miss somehow in their conversations, Katy not really understanding all of the insane things that have suddenly become normal in Kris’s life and Kris struggling to pay attention to the seemingly mundane things from Katy’s life that she thinks are important to share with him.
He knows it is probably his fault. It’s not like he has the time to put into really working on their marriage. And Katy won’t wait forever. She’s a smart girl with her own ambitions and goals, ones that Kris is beginning to realize probably aren’t compatible with the hectic schedule awaiting him when they finish the tour. He and Katy haven’t talked about it yet, but Kris doesn’t think their marriage will last the fall. Kris hates that idea, hates that they will become just another statistic. But they haven’t spoken in more than a week, and Kris can’t even remember the last time they really kissed. Sure, there have been quick kisses hello or goodbye, but Kris doesn’t know when the last time was that he kissed his wife just because he wanted to.
He looks down at Adam breathing softly next to him. But this man! Kris doesn’t know when or how, but somewhere over the last few months, he’s become everything to Kris. They just have this connection that Kris can’t really explain. Adam gets him, in ways that Kris doesn’t think that Katy ever did.
They call it friendship, but Kris knows it goes deeper than that. And he thinks Adam knows it too. They talk about everything, but the nature of their relationship is one topic they have avoided, whether consciously or not. Kris thinks neither of them are willing to break the status quo in fear of what would happen if they did.
But Kris is ready. Looking down at Adam sleeping next to him, Kris knows what he wants.
Kris stills his fingers in Adam’s hair and leans down, pressing his lips softly against Adam’s. Adam jumps a little at the contact, making a startled noise in the back of his throat. The angle is awkward and Kris pulls back, tilting his head to the side before leaning down and meeting Adam’s lips again. This time Adam is ready for him.
Adam’s response is initially hesitant, meeting Kris’s kisses with chaste ones of his own, but Kris keeps kissing him and he feels it the moment Adam decides this really is happening. Adam takes control of the kiss, intensifying it, reaching up to cup the back of Kris’s neck and pulling him closer. Adam’s lips are hot and wet beneath Kris’s. The kiss is urgent, almost desperate, and the intensity overwhelms Kris. He pulls back, breathing heavily, at looks down again at Adam.
Adam’s eyes are wide with shock. “Oh my god, I really must be sick.” Adam stares up at Kris. “That can’t have happened. I must be delirious.”
“You’re not delirious.” Kris feels himself blushing under the intensity of Adam’s gaze. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”
Adam shakes his head and sits up, sliding away from Kris a little. “You can’t just do that, Kris! I love you, and I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can’t deal with that right now.”
Kris starts to feel a little sick again, but he knows this time it is not from the flu. Adam doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want Kris, at least not in the same way as Kris wants Adam. Kris can feel himself starting to panic and he goes with his first instinct - denial.
“Deal with what? Adam, come on, it was just a kiss!”
Kris sees the confusion in Adam’s eyes. “It’s not just a kiss with me, Kris. You know that.” Adam’s voice goes quiet and he looks away. “The whole fucking world knows that.”
There’s emotion in Adam’s quiet tone that Kris can’t quite identify. But it makes the knot in Kris’s stomach ease a little. Maybe he’s not alone in his feelings after all.
Adam moves to stand up, but Kris grabs his wrist, stopping him.
“Look at me Adam.”
Adam fidgets and shakes his head a little.
“Please?” Kris reaches out and gently turns Adam’s head. Adam’s eyes are a little wet when he finally meets Kris’s gaze.
“I’m just fucking exhausted, Kris.”
“I know.” It looks like it’s taking all of Adam’s strength just to stay sitting upright.
Adam sighs. “Not tonight, okay? I’m not saying never, just not tonight.”
Kris nods, feeling the tears in his own eyes. I’m not saying never …. He gives Adam a hesitant smile.
The easy smile he gets in return tells Kris everything he needs to know. Adam’s teasing tone is just a bonus. “If we are going to have this conversation, I need to do it not feeling like I might pass out. I have a feeling I might want to be conscious for what comes after.”
Kris can’t stop his grin at those words. Adam winks at him and moves to get up again. This time Kris lets him.
Adam sways a little when he gains his feet and Kris stands with him, reaching out to steady him. “I’ve got you.”
Adam leans against Kris, whispering down into his ear. “Promise?”
Kris smiles up at him and nods. “Always.”
Pairing: Kris Allen/Adam Lambert
Rating: PG-13 for language and boys kissing
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Author’s notes: This is my attempt at filling someone else’s prompt instead of my own! Written for bicegirl75 who wanted hurt/comfort from when the boys were sick at the end of tour, kissing on the forehead to check for fever turns into more. John Lennon provided the title, because I suck at thinking of them and that song was playing when I finished this ;). No beta, so all mistakes are my own. Please point out any typos if you see them! Also, since I apparently write fic now, a beta would probably be a good idea. Anybody wanna volunteer?
“Fuck, I feel awful.” Adam collapses next to Kris on the couch in the back of the boy’s bus. Kicking his boots off, he curls into a ball, turning his face into the leather, his head resting next to Kris’s pajama-clad thigh.
“I’m actually feeling a little better.” Two hours ago Kris was lying in his bunk, focusing on not throwing up the saltine crackers and ginger ale he had somehow thought were a good idea after talking to the crowd at intermission. Kris figures sitting up without the room spinning is progress.
Actually, he’s feeling a lot better. Kris shakes his head a little at that realization. Why couldn’t he have gotten over this three hours sooner? He hated having to disappoint everyone tonight. He probably could have made it through the show; he shouldn’t have let them talk him out of it.
“Maybe I should have performed.”
“Kris, shut up,” Adam groans out, voice muffled from where his face was still pressed into the couch. “You know you were in no shape to sing. Stop feeling guilty and just be happy you are feeling better.”
He rolls over and looks up at Kris irritably. “Unlike me, who feels like shit.” Adam shivers a little, pulling the jacket he is wearing a little closer around him. “And it’s fucking cold in here. Where’s that blanket you were wrapped in earlier?”
Kris hands him the knit throw from the back of the couch, brushing the back of his hand along Adam’s cheek as Adam wraps the blanket around himself.
“You feel a little warm. Do you have a fever?”
“I don’t know. Probably. It’s not like we have a fucking thermometer.”
“My mom always kisses me on the forehead to tell if I have a fever,” Kris smiles fondly at the memory. “She says it’s the best way to tell.”
Adam is quiet for a moment. His eyes are closed and Kris wonders if he has fallen asleep already. But he cracks an eye open after a moment and looks blearily at Kris. Adam snakes an arm out from his blanket cocoon and pulls his hair back, exposing his forehead.
“Well?” He looks up at Kris expectantly.
Kris laughs a little, but leans down obediently and brushes his lips against Adam’s forehead. Adam’s skin feels hot under Kris’s lips. He smells clean, like soap with a hint of vanilla. Kris recognizes it as the scent of Adam’s shampoo, the vanilla-scented brand he uses that is supposed to keep the color from fading out of his hair. The smell is comforting, familiar. It reminds Kris of evenings spent in the Idol mansion, sprawled with Adam on one of their beds, talking music or bitching about the judges’ comments or laughing as Adam told one of his over the top stories, eyes animated and hands gesturing excitedly.
Kris cards his fingers through Adam’s hair as he sits back up. Adam’s eyes are closed again and he hums contentedly at Kris’s touch. “What’s the verdict, Dr. Allen? Ninety-eight point six?”
“I don’t know. Your skin feels hotter than normal, I guess.”
“Oh, that’s helpful. Of course the kiss thermometer doesn’t work on me.”
Kris rolls his eyes at Adam’s sarcastic tone. ‘’I never said I could tell that way. Just my mom.”
“Too bad your mom doesn’t recommend more than a peck on the forehead.” Adam sighs and tucks his hand back under the blanket. “I could use a good kiss right now.”
Kris smiles a little at that, letting his fingers move back to play with Adam’s hair. Kris really could use a good kiss too. He and Katy are barely on speaking terms anymore. The long distance marriage is getting to both of them. They argue over things they used to laugh about and they just seem to miss somehow in their conversations, Katy not really understanding all of the insane things that have suddenly become normal in Kris’s life and Kris struggling to pay attention to the seemingly mundane things from Katy’s life that she thinks are important to share with him.
He knows it is probably his fault. It’s not like he has the time to put into really working on their marriage. And Katy won’t wait forever. She’s a smart girl with her own ambitions and goals, ones that Kris is beginning to realize probably aren’t compatible with the hectic schedule awaiting him when they finish the tour. He and Katy haven’t talked about it yet, but Kris doesn’t think their marriage will last the fall. Kris hates that idea, hates that they will become just another statistic. But they haven’t spoken in more than a week, and Kris can’t even remember the last time they really kissed. Sure, there have been quick kisses hello or goodbye, but Kris doesn’t know when the last time was that he kissed his wife just because he wanted to.
He looks down at Adam breathing softly next to him. But this man! Kris doesn’t know when or how, but somewhere over the last few months, he’s become everything to Kris. They just have this connection that Kris can’t really explain. Adam gets him, in ways that Kris doesn’t think that Katy ever did.
They call it friendship, but Kris knows it goes deeper than that. And he thinks Adam knows it too. They talk about everything, but the nature of their relationship is one topic they have avoided, whether consciously or not. Kris thinks neither of them are willing to break the status quo in fear of what would happen if they did.
But Kris is ready. Looking down at Adam sleeping next to him, Kris knows what he wants.
Kris stills his fingers in Adam’s hair and leans down, pressing his lips softly against Adam’s. Adam jumps a little at the contact, making a startled noise in the back of his throat. The angle is awkward and Kris pulls back, tilting his head to the side before leaning down and meeting Adam’s lips again. This time Adam is ready for him.
Adam’s response is initially hesitant, meeting Kris’s kisses with chaste ones of his own, but Kris keeps kissing him and he feels it the moment Adam decides this really is happening. Adam takes control of the kiss, intensifying it, reaching up to cup the back of Kris’s neck and pulling him closer. Adam’s lips are hot and wet beneath Kris’s. The kiss is urgent, almost desperate, and the intensity overwhelms Kris. He pulls back, breathing heavily, at looks down again at Adam.
Adam’s eyes are wide with shock. “Oh my god, I really must be sick.” Adam stares up at Kris. “That can’t have happened. I must be delirious.”
“You’re not delirious.” Kris feels himself blushing under the intensity of Adam’s gaze. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”
Adam shakes his head and sits up, sliding away from Kris a little. “You can’t just do that, Kris! I love you, and I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can’t deal with that right now.”
Kris starts to feel a little sick again, but he knows this time it is not from the flu. Adam doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want Kris, at least not in the same way as Kris wants Adam. Kris can feel himself starting to panic and he goes with his first instinct - denial.
“Deal with what? Adam, come on, it was just a kiss!”
Kris sees the confusion in Adam’s eyes. “It’s not just a kiss with me, Kris. You know that.” Adam’s voice goes quiet and he looks away. “The whole fucking world knows that.”
There’s emotion in Adam’s quiet tone that Kris can’t quite identify. But it makes the knot in Kris’s stomach ease a little. Maybe he’s not alone in his feelings after all.
Adam moves to stand up, but Kris grabs his wrist, stopping him.
“Look at me Adam.”
Adam fidgets and shakes his head a little.
“Please?” Kris reaches out and gently turns Adam’s head. Adam’s eyes are a little wet when he finally meets Kris’s gaze.
“I’m just fucking exhausted, Kris.”
“I know.” It looks like it’s taking all of Adam’s strength just to stay sitting upright.
Adam sighs. “Not tonight, okay? I’m not saying never, just not tonight.”
Kris nods, feeling the tears in his own eyes. I’m not saying never …. He gives Adam a hesitant smile.
The easy smile he gets in return tells Kris everything he needs to know. Adam’s teasing tone is just a bonus. “If we are going to have this conversation, I need to do it not feeling like I might pass out. I have a feeling I might want to be conscious for what comes after.”
Kris can’t stop his grin at those words. Adam winks at him and moves to get up again. This time Kris lets him.
Adam sways a little when he gains his feet and Kris stands with him, reaching out to steady him. “I’ve got you.”
Adam leans against Kris, whispering down into his ear. “Promise?”
Kris smiles up at him and nods. “Always.”