What Is, and What Should Never Be (14/?); Rated R
Title: What Is, and What Should Never Be (14/15)
Chapter Title: No More Yesterday
Author: elizabethfaye09
Rating: R
Disclaimer: i only wish in my dirty mind that they owned each other.
Warnings: some dark elements, some angst, spn crossover.
Summary: "This is all wrong."
Author's Notes: omg i suck. didnt mean to take so long to update but life happens and i redid this chapter probably like a million times. still not completely satisfied with it but it's about as good as it's gonna get. there's only one chapter left after this. comments are still greatly appreciated! :) I FIXED IT! sorry i didn't realize the cut failed on me :(
Betas: fasciculations and dirtysdead thanks lovelies! i love all ya'lls help! :)
One: http://mywritings09.livejournal.com/7949.h tml
Two: http://mywritings09.livejournal.com/8221.h tml
Three: http://mywritings09.livejournal.com/8863.h tml
Four: http://mywritings09.livejournal.com/9373.h tml
Five: http://mywritings09.livejournal.com/9581.h tml
Six: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1123251.html#cutid1
Seven: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1152190.html#cutid1
Eight: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1176119.html#cutid1
Nine: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1212255.html#cutid1
Ten: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1246051.html#cutid1
Eleven: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/1301080.html#cutid1
Twelve: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ ai/1437155.html#cutid1
Thirteen: http://community.livejournal.com/kradam_ai/1494670.html#cutid1
Adam is pretty sure he has no clue where he is. It’s dark and there’s a breeze so he must be outside. He can feel something wet seeping through his shirt, something heavy in his hand. He drops the object, and the sound of it clattering to the ground is loud in his ears.
This is all wrong.
Look what you did.
Adam tries to ignore the whisper in his head. He knows it’s the demon, trying to take over again. But Adam beat it; he beat it just long enough to get control over his own mind and body again. It begins to whisper again. On and on and on, telling Adam to look at what he did, telling him he’s going to get caught, someone’s going to see what he did.
Finally he forces himself to really open his eyes and see. The wet soaking his shirt is dark and smells like iron. Blood. Heart pounding, he looks on further, at the ground, and gasps at the sight of a body lying motionless, eyes open and lifeless, blood staining the chest.
The whispers get louder.
“Stop,” he moans. But it keeps on.
So he does the only thing he knows to do. He runs.
***
The insistent pounding on the door at one in the morning has Kris tense and out of the bed in a flash. After the events of the day he’s been jumpy and on edge, barely sleeping at all. A knock on the door could mean a million things. Something else has happened, someone else has gone missing, the end of the world has finally begun. So many things.
“Kris, hurry up!”
Kris’s eyes go wide at the sound of Adam’s voice. When did he even get up and leave? Kris has been awake most of the night; surely he would’ve noticed if Adam just up and left. He flings open the door in surprise, rushing Adam inside at the same time.
“Adam, what-“
“Kris, listen to me. Something’s wrong,” Adam whispers in a rush. He shoves a hand in his hair and closes his eyes, muttering to himself.
“Adam?”
Adam turns on him, blue eyes opening wide. They’re wild and full of fear. “You have to help me, Kris. It’s killing me.” He sits heavily on the edge of the bed. Kris notices how torn his jeans are, his bare feet, the blood on his shirt. That has his head spinning.
“What happened?” he demands as he begins to pace in front of Adam. “Why have you been acting so strange lately? And why is there blood on your shirt?!” Kris huffs in anger and exasperation. This is all so fucked up.
Adam reaches for him but Kris steps out of the way. “Please, Kris. I need you.” His hand drops. Sighing, Kris carefully sits on the bed next to Adam, eyes never leaving Adam’s face.
“Talk to me. You haven’t been doing a lot of that lately.” He tentatively reaches a hand out to Adam’s shoulder, resting it there as a sign of comfort. It’s a relief to see that Adam doesn’t retreat or get snappy like he’s been doing. Maybe something has changed in the past two days.
Adam sighs and shoves a hand into his hair in frustration. Kris waits; Adam will talk when he’s ready to talk. That’s the way it has always been. While Kris can spill almost whatever is bothering him, with the right amount of alcohol of course, Adam takes a few moments to collect himself. He doesn’t want to screw things up because he doesn’t think about what he’s going to say.
“That guard that went missing? I hid him. But it wasn’t me, me. It was…it was one of those things.” Adam bolts off the bed and begins pacing the length of the room. “While we were in bed the other night the guy came in here and held me down and they got me!”
“Adam-“
Adam holds up a hand up, effectively cutting Kris off. “Let me talk.” Kris nods and keeps his mouth shut. “For almost two days I haven’t been myself. They get inside you and they trap you in your own mind, and they whisper things in your ear and they control you. You can’t do anything unless you manage to get a grip on them and hold them back. That’s the only reason I’m me right now. Somehow I snapped out of it, somehow I got control of my own mind and body enough to get here and tell you to help me.”
Kris, wide-eyed, watches Adam rake his hands so furiously through his hair that he’s afraid Adam might start pulling chunks out. He stops pacing and stares at Kris. He’s waiting for a response.
“It made me-“ Adam stops briefly and takes in a deep breath. “It made me kill someone tonight, Kris. I killed someone. There’s blood on my shirt and a knife out there next to a dead body.” He sits heavily next to Kris and buries his face in his hands. “It’s trying to take over again. I can feel it,” he whispers. Kris can detect the tell-tale hitch of Adam’s breath, meaning he’s trying not to cry.
Adam is scared and Kris doesn’t know what to do.
“How…I mean…maybe Dean can help you? He’s the hunter or whatever in all of this.” Kris scoots closer and his hand comes to rest on Adam’s lower back.
But then something shifts. Something changes. Adam laughs. It’s not friendly; it’s not a humorless laugh because the situation is so shitty. It’s evil and dark and not Adam. Kris jerks his hand back, standing so abruptly that he almost trips over the corner of the bed.
Adam’s still laughing, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. When he raises his head his eyes are pitch black. Kris gasps and stumbles backwards, away from the face that isn’t his Adam. Adam stands, sighing dramatically as he smoothes his shirt out.
“You think Dean Winchester can help Adam? Really, Kris?” Adam smirks. “It’s all going down in a few hours. Dean can’t save anybody. That idiot brother of his started this anyway. All a matter of time.”
Kris opens his mouth to yell for help but before he can get a single word out Adam is suddenly there, behind him, holding a hand over his mouth. He kicks but knows it won’t do him any good. This Adam is too strong and powerful for him, for any human.
“Shh, now. You’re upsetting Adam acting like this. He doesn’t want to see you get hurt. If you act like a good little boy I’ll consider not doing too much damage.” The voice in his ear is smooth and cold, like ice. Kris can feel the goose bumps rising on his skin.
Adam shoves him forward towards the bed, hand still over his mouth. With a forceful shove he’s on the bed staring up at Adam. “Let him go,” he spits and kicks out again. His foot connects with Adam’s stomach but the blow does nothing. However it allows him a brief moment to roll off the bed and try for the door.
Adam clucks his tongue in a disapproving manner. “Kristopher, Kristopher. Don’t you know you can’t beat the supernatural world? Little ole human like you doesn’t affect us much.” Kris tries to open the door; it won’t budge. “You’re no match for me, Allen.”
Then, suddenly, the air is being forced out of his lungs. He finds himself flung against the door, an invisible force pinning his back there and not letting him go. “Adam, you’re stronger than this. You can beat this,” Kris grits out. His entire body hurts. Breathing is a challenge all on its own.
“Pathetic,” Adam mutters and drops Kris to his feet without moving a muscle. He strides past Kris like this is all an obstacle to him. In the grand scheme of things Kris is just a toy he can bend at will and throw away like leftovers. Kris hates it. He feels so powerless as Adam just yanks the door open, then turns to him with a sneer on his face.
“You won’t win!” Kris shouts. The second he does he regrets it. Adam turns on him, fist flying. Knuckles connect with his face and he’s on the floor, bleeding and in pain.
“We’ll see about that,” is the last thing he hears before he is unconscious.
***
In the beginning Adam had to fight for Kris. They were best friends from day one on Idol. But then Adam’s stupid crush got in the way. After months of touring they stopped seeing each other regularly. They had their phone calls and their tweets and their texts, but they could never make the time to actually get together.
Eventually Adam gives up on trying. He knows that Kris is having a rough time with Katy, he knows that. But it doesn’t stop him from wishing that he was there, by Kris’s side through it all. They are best friends after all; a little out of touch but still best friends.
Adam thought that after Idol and the tour, and even a year after that, he would just simply get over Kris and these dumb feelings. But he can’t stop being in love with someone. He can’t stop the flips and the flops and the little gymnastics routine his heart decides to do at the very mention of his best friend.
He has to fight. If he wants this, if he wants Kris, who at one point wanted Adam back, then he has to fight. Kris decided, all the way back on Idol, that maybe Adam was what he wanted, but there was the issue of Katy. And now, now Kris is having second thoughts about filing for a divorce. Adam knows he’s scared of his management and Lizzie and what they would all do if the tiny, cute Hollywood couple got a divorce. Wouldn’t it be a trip if word got out that Kris Allen wants Adam Lambert; that Adam is the reason for the couple’s separating?
Adam shakes his head to clear the thoughts and heads for the bathroom to get ready. He has a date with the red carpet at 6 p.m. sharp. Lane will murder him if he’s late for this one. Kris will be there, Katy at his side acting like the tiny, blonde, happy wife that she isn’t. As far as Adam is concerned, Katy can pretend all she wants but they both know who Kris desires and who his heart is really with.
His phone beeps. With a sigh he straightens his tie once more, checks his hair in the mirror, before snatching the phone up and hurrying out the door and to the stairs. Lane is waiting at the front door her foot tapping impatiently as she checks her watch. Adam laughs and joins her.
“Chill, Lane. I’m actually on time for once.” He gives her a happy grin that she returns before ushering him out the door. He checks his phone on the way out. Kris’s name is on the screen above ‘one new message’ so he opens it and smiles.
can’t wait 2 c u. been 2 long. It’s short but it makes Adam smile even wider. It’s been too long since they last saw each other. Tonight, Adam is prepared to fight a little harder.
If he has to fight til the end of the world, he will.
*
When Kris wakes up his head is pounding and his jaw is smeared with dried and cracking blood. He blinks rapidly against the spots dancing in front of his eyes as he pushes himself to a sitting position.
“Adam?” he calls out, already knowing that Adam isn’t there.
Kris touches his lip gingerly, wincing at the stab of pain. Damn. Adam really got him good. The thought of Adam makes his head spin. Where is he? What is he doing? Is he even Kris’s Adam anymore? Is Adam gone for good? Kris shakes his head; he doesn’t want to think about Adam being lost for good to that demon. He can’t think about that.
Even though he’s dizzy and his head is throbbing, he manages to get to his feet and head straight for the door. He has to find Adam before everything gets out of control. But he doesn’t know how long he has been out of it. For all he knows Adam has set everything in motion and there’s fighting going on right now.
But the night, when he finally makes it outside, is calm. There isn’t a sound to be heard. Kris finds that kind of creepy. He sees a couple of guards standing at the main entrance so he ducks into the shadows. They have been pretty tight with the security since the courtyard meeting. He can’t get caught; getting caught won’t do Adam any good.
As he’s backing along the wall he abruptly bumps into someone. “Shit! Watch where you’re going,” a gruff voice says quietly.
“Dean?” Kris spins around, coming face to face with Dean. “What’re you doing out here?”
“Could ask you the same thing.” Dean raises an eyebrow. Kris glares. “Oh come on. We don’t have time for this!” Dean grabs Kris’s arm and begins pulling him along at a fast pace.
Kris snatches his arm away but stays close behind Dean. “Where are we going?” he whispers, keeping his eyes on Dean’s back. Dean doesn’t answer him. Instead he leads Kris through the shadows, keeping close to the walls and the doors and never making a sound.
“Dean,” Kris whispers harshly. He comes to an abrupt halt. “Dean! Where the hell are we going?”
Dean suddenly shushes him, pointing ahead to the wall. Kris squints trying to see through the darkness to where Dean is pointing. Finally he sees it. He sees the hole in the wall. He sees the demons stepping through one by one. And he sees Adam, standing there looking around, making sure there’s no trouble coming, letting them all in.
“Adam,” Kris mutters and his gut clenches in fear. His Adam is so far gone that Kris barely even recognizes the defensive stance Adam is standing in or the sneer set on his lips. He doesn’t want to believe that that is Adam letting in the demons, letting in something that will ultimately decide the fate of everyone.
All he can think as he stands there with Dean watching the people pour in quietly is this is it.