#29 [F(x)/DBSK/Super Junior, Victoria/Changmin/Kyuhyun]
Fandom: F(x)/DBSK/Super Junior
Title: On My Own
Rating: PG
Pairing(s)/Focus: Victoria/Changmin/Kyuhyun
Length: 1610
Summary: Kyuhyun loses after a car accident, but gains something else instead.
Warnings: None.
Notes: Your writing is lovely. I’m glad I was able to read and remix one of your stories. Hopefully you like this!
Remixee author: hoshatree
Title of work you remixed: The Testimony of the Parrot
Link to work you remixed: http://hoshatree.livejournal.com/5707.html
Kyuhyun knows, just by putting his arm around his wife’s trembling shoulders. It is not the same anymore.
He studies her pale face, her dark eyes. He memorizes the way her hair falls down her shoulders and fills the air with her smell.
Kyuhyun’s not sure if he’ll be able to remember these motifs, ideas of her, by the time she’s gone.
Kyuhyun sees Victoria, only a glimpse at first. It’s not enough to know her - he sees only her wrist, her hair, her long neck - but it’s enough for him to want to know her.
It’s enough for him to seek her out, to try to talk to her.
She walks fast though, and from behind she looks like any other undergraduate girl there. For weeks, he thinks he sees her in the student union, in the academic buildings - once even on his dorm room floor, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly be her.
She’s a ghost, haunting his every thought. He wants her there, beside him like this, but he wants to hear her speak, to see her smile. He wants her tangible, not the empty wanderings of his mind exploring his strange desire.
But he doesn’t know the first place to find her, until they have class together the following spring.
Kyuhyun has always been the kind of person to wait for things to come to him. It’s a whole different experience entirely to hold her hand and try to read her face.
To anxiously hope that she doesn’t pull away.
He doesn’t say anything that night, but Victoria is quiet as she puts things away. She has been for a long time. The house is so quiet, Kyuhyun thinks he can hear the trees rustle as the breeze lifts past.
He thinks of confronting her, of pointing his finger and shouting at her. But he doesn’t have the will to do that, he discovers. This isn’t like his anger after the car accident.
This isn’t like the fear that used to grip him at night, tight and unrelenting around his neck, when the evening shadows crept up on him and he realized he couldn’t move-
This is something else entirely, a certain kind of sadness that still holds him without grace.
Kyuhyun can see Changmin in the distance, fighting with his umbrella. He wears his usual disgruntled face; the expression that made them two of a kind.
It’s raining, but Kyuhyun is so joyful he doesn’t need a jacket. The warmth bursts out of him - maybe too much so. He can tell that Changmin is surprised to see him this way.
“Come, she’s waiting,” Kyuhyun says, after they say the empty pleasantries. It’s been a while, but Kyuhyun is sure their friendship has not changed. Changmin will understand his happiness.
Victoria waits in the cafe next to the old library, her washed out skirt drawn tight over her knees. She gets up when she sees Kyuhyun coming towards her, her eyes flickering over Changmin curiously. “How do you do?” she asks. There’s a mild sting of annoyance when Changmin startles at her pronunciation, but it fades away as they continue to speak.
Kyuhyun can’t help but tell Changmin about Victoria - all her accomplishments and virtues, the wedding plans that have been brewing in the last couple of weeks. Victoria is bashful like he’s never seen her before, bowing her head in embarrassment.
But Changmin is dumbstruck in Victoria’s presence. Kyuhyun has seen other boys like this before, in front of Victoria. But he also knows Changmin, having stood in his shadow all those long years of childhood. He knows how the charm Changmin can have.
So when they leave the cafe at last, Kyuhyun insists on paying the bill. He slips away, and at the counter, he watches Changmin and Victoria at first wait in the foyer, then wander outside.
“Sir, may I see your card?” Kyuhyun is a zombie in a daze.
They speak a little, and Victoria laughs. Kyuhyun’s heart clenches. It took him weeks to actually see Victoria laugh.
“Sir, could you please sign?”
But as she speaks to him, she twists the ring on her finger, the yellow diamond Kyuhyun gave her, and Kyuhyun relaxes.
A little.
Changmin is early, or perhaps Kyuhyun is late. Kyuhyun has not quite yet learned to gauge the time he needs to accomodate his feeble legs, his cane. He knows that it irritates Victoria, but Changmin has never shown any sign of annoyance.
“I took the liberty of ordering you something,” Changmin says. When the waitress comes, it’s Kyuhyun’s favorite.
Of course. Changmin knows him so well.
But he studies Changmin. He wears a suit and nice shoes, having come from work. His hair is cut short on the sides, and his face is scrubbed. He looks happy and healthy.
He looks like Kyuhyun once did, a man in love.
“How have you been?” he asks Kyuhyun, simple words that come out naturally.
Kyuhyun smiles. “I’ve been fine. Victoria is well, too,” he adds carelessly.
The emotion that sweeps over Changmin’s face at Victoria’s name lasts only a second, but completely shatters any doubt Kyuhyun once had.
It is no longer the same any more.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know why they bought him a parrot. It’s a stupid pet, one that Kyuhyun doesn’t need. He can’t take care of it anyway, confined to his bed as it is.
Victoria tries to argue with him. “You don’t have to stay in bed,” she says, gesturing at his cane helplessly.
“What can I do?” he snarls at her. He’s tired of trying to make his legs obey him. They have a mind of their own, now.
The parrot wears on him over time, though. It never learns more than one word, but it’s a word that constantly plagues Kyuhyun anyway. He doesn’t know what to do, really. His whole world has been shaken, and he doesn’t know how to move on.
It’s only an echo of the question he keeps asking himself, over and over, day after day. Minute after minute.
It’s a spring day when Kyuhyun stands on his own for the first time. The parrot is chirping at him in its cage, and he cannot bear it anymore. He waves a hand and tries to open the door.
He knocks over the cage, but the bird flies free. Too late, he remembers that Victoria has left most of the windows open - “You need some fresh air,” she said.
For a moment, his heart leaps into his throat - “Will you leave me as well?” he wonders, staring as it rockets towards the window.
But instead it veers away, coming to land on the wardrobe. It tilts its head coquettishly.
Kyuhyun knows that he must shut the window. There’s no hope of catching the bird, and Victoria will be upset if it’s gone when she returns.
He reaches for his cane and struggles to shift his knees over the side of the bed. He falls at first. The pain is not as bad as the embarrassment, even though there is no one there to see him fall. Again.
He drops the cane and grabs onto the bedside table, putting all of his weight on the heavy wood. It’s enough to allow him to lurch upright.
He lifts his hands away, and stands by himself, the first time in months.
Then a wind blows through the window, and he staggers against the wall. It hurts, slamming into the white, but it can’t erase the feeling Kyuhyun experiences from standing up.
It’s not of freedom from Victoria’s nagging, or the relief from Changmin’s pity. Instead, it’s the realization that he can actually do something. He’s not done yet; he doesn’t have to be confined to this room.
He could actually live again.
The parrot chirps and he remembers. It’s a battle to pull the window down without sprawling out on the carpet himself, but he does it.
And when he’s done, he collapses into the chair Changmin always sits in. The bird spreads its wings. Kyuhyun considers it might be stupid enough to try to fly through the glass, but instead it comes and alights on Kyuhyun’s knee. It just stares at him.
Kyuhyun had always been the type to wait for things to come to him. And then he had searched for Victoria.
But maybe, life is just a combination of both.
It’s amusing in an entirely twisted way, when Changmin stares at him. “Was it-”
“The parrot couldn’t tell me what I could already see,” Kyuhyun says. After all, it can only say one word, the only word Kyuhyun could ask himself for so long.
He sits, staring at his old friend, thinking about the red parrot.
Kyuhyun no longer asks himself that question, not anymore.
“Come,” Victoria says. It’s hard for him to get off the bench, since his cane is a little wobbly these days. Little Red is a constant friend, and Kyuhyun no longer worries that the parrot will leave him.
She thinks that’s a blessing in itself. Victoria smiles at Kyuhyun, smoothing out the heavy fabric of her white dress. It’s not a dress for a wedding, but it will have to do.
Victoria sees the paper in Kyuhyun’s hand. “Rehearsing your speech?”
Kyuhyun waves it at her, his mouth twisting wryly. “The best man does have a duty,” he says. Then he laughs. “It’s going to be terribly, awfully cheesy.”
“No, it won’t,” she says, totally assured. “I can’t wait to hear them.”
She offers him her arm, but he shakes her off. He says, “I can walk on my own, now.”
Title: On My Own
Rating: PG
Pairing(s)/Focus: Victoria/Changmin/Kyuhyun
Length: 1610
Summary: Kyuhyun loses after a car accident, but gains something else instead.
Warnings: None.
Notes: Your writing is lovely. I’m glad I was able to read and remix one of your stories. Hopefully you like this!
Remixee author: hoshatree
Title of work you remixed: The Testimony of the Parrot
Link to work you remixed: http://hoshatree.livejournal.com/5707.html
Kyuhyun knows, just by putting his arm around his wife’s trembling shoulders. It is not the same anymore.
He studies her pale face, her dark eyes. He memorizes the way her hair falls down her shoulders and fills the air with her smell.
Kyuhyun’s not sure if he’ll be able to remember these motifs, ideas of her, by the time she’s gone.
Kyuhyun sees Victoria, only a glimpse at first. It’s not enough to know her - he sees only her wrist, her hair, her long neck - but it’s enough for him to want to know her.
It’s enough for him to seek her out, to try to talk to her.
She walks fast though, and from behind she looks like any other undergraduate girl there. For weeks, he thinks he sees her in the student union, in the academic buildings - once even on his dorm room floor, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly be her.
She’s a ghost, haunting his every thought. He wants her there, beside him like this, but he wants to hear her speak, to see her smile. He wants her tangible, not the empty wanderings of his mind exploring his strange desire.
But he doesn’t know the first place to find her, until they have class together the following spring.
Kyuhyun has always been the kind of person to wait for things to come to him. It’s a whole different experience entirely to hold her hand and try to read her face.
To anxiously hope that she doesn’t pull away.
He doesn’t say anything that night, but Victoria is quiet as she puts things away. She has been for a long time. The house is so quiet, Kyuhyun thinks he can hear the trees rustle as the breeze lifts past.
He thinks of confronting her, of pointing his finger and shouting at her. But he doesn’t have the will to do that, he discovers. This isn’t like his anger after the car accident.
This isn’t like the fear that used to grip him at night, tight and unrelenting around his neck, when the evening shadows crept up on him and he realized he couldn’t move-
This is something else entirely, a certain kind of sadness that still holds him without grace.
Kyuhyun can see Changmin in the distance, fighting with his umbrella. He wears his usual disgruntled face; the expression that made them two of a kind.
It’s raining, but Kyuhyun is so joyful he doesn’t need a jacket. The warmth bursts out of him - maybe too much so. He can tell that Changmin is surprised to see him this way.
“Come, she’s waiting,” Kyuhyun says, after they say the empty pleasantries. It’s been a while, but Kyuhyun is sure their friendship has not changed. Changmin will understand his happiness.
Victoria waits in the cafe next to the old library, her washed out skirt drawn tight over her knees. She gets up when she sees Kyuhyun coming towards her, her eyes flickering over Changmin curiously. “How do you do?” she asks. There’s a mild sting of annoyance when Changmin startles at her pronunciation, but it fades away as they continue to speak.
Kyuhyun can’t help but tell Changmin about Victoria - all her accomplishments and virtues, the wedding plans that have been brewing in the last couple of weeks. Victoria is bashful like he’s never seen her before, bowing her head in embarrassment.
But Changmin is dumbstruck in Victoria’s presence. Kyuhyun has seen other boys like this before, in front of Victoria. But he also knows Changmin, having stood in his shadow all those long years of childhood. He knows how the charm Changmin can have.
So when they leave the cafe at last, Kyuhyun insists on paying the bill. He slips away, and at the counter, he watches Changmin and Victoria at first wait in the foyer, then wander outside.
“Sir, may I see your card?” Kyuhyun is a zombie in a daze.
They speak a little, and Victoria laughs. Kyuhyun’s heart clenches. It took him weeks to actually see Victoria laugh.
“Sir, could you please sign?”
But as she speaks to him, she twists the ring on her finger, the yellow diamond Kyuhyun gave her, and Kyuhyun relaxes.
A little.
Changmin is early, or perhaps Kyuhyun is late. Kyuhyun has not quite yet learned to gauge the time he needs to accomodate his feeble legs, his cane. He knows that it irritates Victoria, but Changmin has never shown any sign of annoyance.
“I took the liberty of ordering you something,” Changmin says. When the waitress comes, it’s Kyuhyun’s favorite.
Of course. Changmin knows him so well.
But he studies Changmin. He wears a suit and nice shoes, having come from work. His hair is cut short on the sides, and his face is scrubbed. He looks happy and healthy.
He looks like Kyuhyun once did, a man in love.
“How have you been?” he asks Kyuhyun, simple words that come out naturally.
Kyuhyun smiles. “I’ve been fine. Victoria is well, too,” he adds carelessly.
The emotion that sweeps over Changmin’s face at Victoria’s name lasts only a second, but completely shatters any doubt Kyuhyun once had.
It is no longer the same any more.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know why they bought him a parrot. It’s a stupid pet, one that Kyuhyun doesn’t need. He can’t take care of it anyway, confined to his bed as it is.
Victoria tries to argue with him. “You don’t have to stay in bed,” she says, gesturing at his cane helplessly.
“What can I do?” he snarls at her. He’s tired of trying to make his legs obey him. They have a mind of their own, now.
The parrot wears on him over time, though. It never learns more than one word, but it’s a word that constantly plagues Kyuhyun anyway. He doesn’t know what to do, really. His whole world has been shaken, and he doesn’t know how to move on.
It’s only an echo of the question he keeps asking himself, over and over, day after day. Minute after minute.
It’s a spring day when Kyuhyun stands on his own for the first time. The parrot is chirping at him in its cage, and he cannot bear it anymore. He waves a hand and tries to open the door.
He knocks over the cage, but the bird flies free. Too late, he remembers that Victoria has left most of the windows open - “You need some fresh air,” she said.
For a moment, his heart leaps into his throat - “Will you leave me as well?” he wonders, staring as it rockets towards the window.
But instead it veers away, coming to land on the wardrobe. It tilts its head coquettishly.
Kyuhyun knows that he must shut the window. There’s no hope of catching the bird, and Victoria will be upset if it’s gone when she returns.
He reaches for his cane and struggles to shift his knees over the side of the bed. He falls at first. The pain is not as bad as the embarrassment, even though there is no one there to see him fall. Again.
He drops the cane and grabs onto the bedside table, putting all of his weight on the heavy wood. It’s enough to allow him to lurch upright.
He lifts his hands away, and stands by himself, the first time in months.
Then a wind blows through the window, and he staggers against the wall. It hurts, slamming into the white, but it can’t erase the feeling Kyuhyun experiences from standing up.
It’s not of freedom from Victoria’s nagging, or the relief from Changmin’s pity. Instead, it’s the realization that he can actually do something. He’s not done yet; he doesn’t have to be confined to this room.
He could actually live again.
The parrot chirps and he remembers. It’s a battle to pull the window down without sprawling out on the carpet himself, but he does it.
And when he’s done, he collapses into the chair Changmin always sits in. The bird spreads its wings. Kyuhyun considers it might be stupid enough to try to fly through the glass, but instead it comes and alights on Kyuhyun’s knee. It just stares at him.
Kyuhyun had always been the type to wait for things to come to him. And then he had searched for Victoria.
But maybe, life is just a combination of both.
It’s amusing in an entirely twisted way, when Changmin stares at him. “Was it-”
“The parrot couldn’t tell me what I could already see,” Kyuhyun says. After all, it can only say one word, the only word Kyuhyun could ask himself for so long.
He sits, staring at his old friend, thinking about the red parrot.
Kyuhyun no longer asks himself that question, not anymore.
“Come,” Victoria says. It’s hard for him to get off the bench, since his cane is a little wobbly these days. Little Red is a constant friend, and Kyuhyun no longer worries that the parrot will leave him.
She thinks that’s a blessing in itself. Victoria smiles at Kyuhyun, smoothing out the heavy fabric of her white dress. It’s not a dress for a wedding, but it will have to do.
Victoria sees the paper in Kyuhyun’s hand. “Rehearsing your speech?”
Kyuhyun waves it at her, his mouth twisting wryly. “The best man does have a duty,” he says. Then he laughs. “It’s going to be terribly, awfully cheesy.”
“No, it won’t,” she says, totally assured. “I can’t wait to hear them.”
She offers him her arm, but he shakes her off. He says, “I can walk on my own, now.”