19. Big Bang [GDragon/TOP] (Part 2)

[almostkiwi]

Part 1

It's a few days without much contact with Seunghyun. Their schedules are filled to the brim with practices, rehearsals, and recordings. Seunghyun hasn't been coming to his room much, and the couple of times Jiyong was brave enough to go to his, the older boy had been sleeping.

The few times they did actually manage to catch up were brief, during practices or usually interrupted by one of their fellow future band mates. It was unbelievably frustrating.

Now, however, was the end of the week. Jiyong knows that aside from one Saturday practice, he and Seunghyun are free for the weekend. Jiyong intends to head straight home after his last vocal lesson for the day when he's stopped.

"Hey," Seunghyun says.

"Oh, hi, hyung." Jiyong says with a smile. He's caught off guard, seeing as it's late in the evening and he knows Seunghyun's own schedule ended hours ago. But it's not an unpleasant surprise.

"Wanna go smoke?" Seunghyun asks quietly, probably afraid someone will hear.

Jiyong rolls his eyes at that. "Yeah, lets go."

They clamor onto the rooftop, just like they always do. Jiyong is always two or three steps ahead because Seunghyun's never been very good at climbing stairs. When they reach the top, Seunghyun's breathing heavy and it makes Jiyong laugh on the inside.

"You need to work out more," Jiyong says with a smirk.

"You need to shut up more," Seunghyun retorts.

Jiyong laughs out loud as they make their way to the spot by the ledge. It's been awhile since they've been up here, yet still their presence remains in the pile of cigarette butts and a few empty bags of snack chips Seunghyun had left behind.

They each take out their respective cigarettes and lighters and begin to smoke in silence, leaning over the ledge. It's a few minutes before Seunghyun abruptly straightens up and walks to the other side of the roof top. Jiyong watches him curiously.

From out of nowhere, Seunghyun pulls out a six pack of beer. "Been saving this." He smiles.

"Up here?" Jiyong laughs, incredulous.

"I left it in the shade," Seunghyun reasons as if that makes it okay.

"You are so weird," Jiyong says and playfully shoves Seunghyun.

"Well, it's not like I could keep it in my room!" Seunghyun shoves him back, just as playful. Jiyong laughs knowing that's never stopped Seunghyun before.

Holding his cigarette between his lips, Seunghyun frees one of the cans from the pack and offers it to Jiyong. Still giggling, Jiyong takes it.

"You just want to get me drunk again," Jiyong says as he lifts a suggestive brow.

"Haha, maybe." Seunghyun cracks open and takes a sip of his own beer. "You know I watched another video too," he says.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Seunghyun says

"Wait, where the hell did you do that?" Jiyong asks, confused. He sure as hell hopes Seunghyun wasn't using one of the YG office computers or something. No one else at the dorm has a computer and Jiyong keeps his room locked when he's not in it.

"Oh, at Dongwook hyung's apartment," Seunghyun says nonchalantly before taking another sip of his beer. Jiyong's eyebrows practically shoot up to his hair line.

"You what?!" Jiyong exclaims. "Does that mean he knows?!"

"What? No. Don't be stupid. He wasn't around when I did," Seunghyun says, tone of voice implying that Jiyong is the one acting crazy right now.

"So you went to hyung's apartment, alone, and watched gay porn?" Jiyong asks, unbelieving.

"Yes?" Seunghyun tilts his head to the side.

Jiyong laughs, covering his face with his free hand, because sometimes Seunghyun is just that ridiculous.

"What?" Seunghyun asks.

Jiyong shoves him. "I can't fucking believe you sometimes," he says.

Seunghyun makes an exaggerated pouty face and rubs his shoulder.

They become quiet after Jiyong's giggles stop. Seunghyun looks off into the distance, over the ledge and to the city above and below them. Jiyong follows his eyes.

They look over Seoul at dusk. The surrounding buildings have mismatched lighted windows. The air is thick, yet cool as the heat of the day wears off. The sound of the cars and nightlife bustle fill the void the dark creates.

But Jiyong chooses to focuses on them, in this moment instead, just like how he always does. He focuses on how Seunghyun breathes in the cigarette smoke and every time he takes a sip of his beer, the soft sighs and exhales he lets out without realizing. Jiyong much prefers those sounds than to the other ones surrounding them.

"I was thinking," Jiyong starts and Seunghyun looks over at him. "About our group name."

"Yeah?"

"I think we should be called 'Galaxy'," Jiyong says seriously as he gestures with his hands.

Seunghyun laughs. "Why?"

Jiyong frowns but Seunghyun doesn't notice. "Well, because, we're all kind of different... things, coming together. Like stars. We're gonna be stars."

Seunghyun laughs even louder. "C'mere," he says.

And before Jiyong even realizes it, Seunghyun is moving in, lips first.

Jiyong, surprised, barely thinks to close his eyes or kiss back for a few seconds. He can feel Seunghyun's smile on his lips and it makes Jiyong smile too, making him forget he should be mad at Seunghyun for laughing at him. They pull apart, but are still close enough to where their smiles are still touching.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Seunghyun says, the rumble of his voice vibrating against Jiyong's lips. Jiyong's not sure if it's that or the compliment itself that makes his breath hitch.

Jiyong grabs their cigarettes and stubs them out and sets their beers aside before he pulls Seunghyun to him by the front of his oversized hoodie, kissing him deeply. Seunghyun responds with a groan and his hands on Jiyong's hips. This, to Jiyong, is nothing new by now. How many times had they stood in this very spot and done this very thing?

But right now, it feels different. Jiyong thinks it could be the alcohol or maybe even the nicotine giving him these extra feelings, but it's not the logistics he cares about. It's this moment, and he doesn't want it to end.

Seunghyun pushes him against the ledge, and it curves into the small of Jiyong's back. Jiyong lets out a noise at the contact, the hard, cold concrete surprising him.

"You okay?" Seunghyun asks as he breaks their kiss.

"Mmyeah," Jiyong says before cupping Seunghyun's face and leaning up to kiss him again.

They get heated quick, like they always do. It's just that all the times after their first encounter they had the sense to stop. But this time there's no schedules waiting for them, no deadlines breathing down their back. They have all the time in the world right now, and Jiyong plans to indulge himself.

Seunghyun presses Jiyong further into the ledge. Jiyong grasps onto him tight and between Seunghyun's body and the ledge it feels like he's suffocating, but not like he's dying. It's a good pressure, one that makes him feel alive.

"This okay?" Seunghyun asks against Jiyong's lips and Jiyong responds with a small moan and an upward roll of his hips, making Seunghyun curse. Seunghyun's grip tightens on Jiyong's hips before moving his own downward, heavy and slow.

They grind, Seunghyun pushing Jiyong harder into the concrete behind him with every roll of his hips. The pressure to his front feels great, but Jiyong feels that his back could use some better treatment. Gently, he pushes Seunghyun away.

"My back hurts, " Jiyong says.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

Jiyong leads them away from the ledge, pushing Seunghyun forward. Jiyong takes them over to the wooden housing of the roof top entrance. He pushes Seunghyun up against it, turning the tables, before kissing him again.

Jiyong starts with his hands on Seunghyun's chest before moving them down to his abdomen. Underneath his hoodie, Jiyong can tell his stomach is soft. He lets his fingers curl into Seunghyun's stomach, hoping to feel more of what's below. Seunghyun squirms, letting out a choked sound. Jiyong leans back and sees that he's smiling.

"Tickles," Seunghyun explains.

"Cute," Jiyong says. He lets his fingers dig a little more just to see Seunghyun smile a little bigger.

"Ah, stop," Seunghyun says, his voice filled with laughter.

Seunghyun grabs Jiyong's hands and holds them at his sides before leaning down and claiming Jiyong's neck. Jiyong gasps as he tilts his head back. Seunghyun bites there a little and it makes Jiyong twist in his hold. He's never been much into pain, but the way Seunghyun's teeth graze over his skin makes him think he could change his mind.

Seunghyun kisses downward until he's at the expanse of Jiyong's collarbone, exposed from Jiyong's low cut v-neck shirt. Seunghyun pulls it downward until he's licking at Jiyong's nipple. Jiyong jolts upright and cries out. It feels weird yet electric and sends little shocks down his body and straight to his dick.

Seunghyun pulls back and pushes his fingers under the hem of Jiyong's tshirt. "Can I?" Seunghyun asks.

Jiyong reaches for the hem of Seunghyun's hoodie. "You too," Jiyong says.

"Fine," Seunghyun agrees.

They undress each other, Seunghyun managing to get Jiyong shirtless first. Jiyong pouts at how uneven they are, even though he knows what they agreed on.

"This too," Jiyong says, pulling at Seunghyun's tshirt. Seunghyun's eyes widen and he looks a little scared. "Please," Jiyong pleads, beginning to lift up the shirt slightly.

"Jiyong," Seunghyun says, it sounds like a warning. But he doesn't stop Jiyong and Jiyong doesn't stop himself.

"I want to see. I'm not going to laugh," Jiyong says, reassuring. He manages to push the shirt up to Seunghyun's armpits and it's a moment before Seunghyun sighs and reluctantly lifts his arms up.

They stand there together, shirtless. Their body sizes don't match at all, but instead of weird or intimidating, Jiyong finds it cute. He being shirtless feels like nothing new, but Seunghyun curls his body into himself and blushes.

Seunghyun is a bit pudgy, Jiyong admits. But it's not off putting. Actually, Jiyong finds it endearing. He knows Seunghyun hates it. His body language screams "don't look at me" but Jiyong doesn't listen.

Jiyong reaches out and touches Seunghyun's stomach, just barely. It's soft, just like he had thought. Seunghyun flinches at the touch, but still he doesn't tell Jiyong to stop. Jiyong runs his hands up Seunghyun's chest until he's hooked them around Seunghyun's neck and then he pulls them together, chest to chest.

"Hyung, do you want to... you know?" Jiyong asks. He had just assumed they were naturally going in that direction, but also feels like he should ask, just in case.

Without and answer, Seunghyun grabs his hoodie from the ground as he leads he and Jiyong behind a structure on the roof. Seunghyun spreads his hoodie on the ground and gently pushes Jiyong down onto it. Then he stops.

"Should we be doing this here?" Seunghyun asks, hands braced on Jiyong's shoulders. Jiyong can feel his fingernails dig into the skin there.

"Do you want to?" Jiyong repeats, sounding unsure.

"Yeah, but--."

"I do too," Jiyong says and before Seunghyun can say anything else, Jiyong leans up to kiss him.

Seunghyun leans down into it, fitting in between Jiyong's legs. It feels uncomfortable at first until Jiyong relaxes a little and then their groins are touching again. Seunghyun begins moving against him, small and gentle but increasing pressure with each minute thrust.

Jiyong's erection is beginning to strain painfully against his jeans and the mixture of pleasure and pain is becoming a little too heavy on the pain side. Jiyong tries to multitask with unbuttoning his jeans and kissing Seunghyun at the same time, but it proves to be a futile effort when Seunghyun backs away.

"Is something...." Seunghyun begins to say before he looks down and sees Jiyong fumbling with his pants. Seunghyun laughs and doesn't say anything as he lends a hand.

Memories flash of the last time they had gotten to this point, and while still awkward, it's a good awkward. They're smiling and giggling as they struggle with getting each other's pants off. Eventually they get it, though.

When Jiyong slides his pants down his hips just ever so slightly, the lack of pressure feels so much better and he lets out a sigh of relief. Seunghyun practically mimics him and it's then that Jiyong looks down and realizes he's starring at Seunghyun's boxer-clad erection for the first time.

"Shit," Jiyong curses.

He feels almost intimidated, thinking back to the video he saw and how he was having second thoughts even then. But Jiyong forces himself to take a deep breath and convinces himself he can do this. It's not like he doesn't want to, he definitely does. It's just the fear that comes with trying something new and the constant doubt that lingers until you actually go through with it.

"So um," Seunghyun coughs. "I have this."

Seunghyun reaches into his back pocket of his jeans that are barely hanging onto his hips and pulls out a condom.

"W-where did you get that?" Jiyong asks, blushing.

"From Dongwook hyung," Seunghyun says. Jiyong is sure his face pales in an instant, which is why Seunghyun is quick to say, "He doesn't know. I just took it."

Jiyong slaps a palm to his forehead and groans. "Stop fucking scaring me like that," he says. Seunghyun just laughs.

"I, uh, have lube too," Seunghyun says as he holds it up to show Jiyong. "So, should we? Should I?"

"Yeah, just let me---," Jiyong says as he reaches down and begins to take off his boxers. He pushes the fabric down along with his jeans. His shoes and socks get in the way so he has to awkwardly pause to throw them off too.

When Jiyong sits back up, he's fully naked and the cool summer air feels less comforting and more chilly. Seunghyun gawks at him, mouth slightly agape and the package of lubricant in his hand held all too casually, as if it's not even there.

"Well?" Jiyong asks, demanding.

Seunghyun shakes his head slightly and his eyes regain focus. While ripping open the package, Seunghyun manages to open it incorrectly and gets the majority of the lubricant on his palms. He curses and tries to shove it towards Jiyong's backside, probably hoping it will at least drip down and collect partially where it's supposed to go. The sensation surprises Jiyong and he flinches back, giving out a yelp.

"Shit, shit. Sorry!" Seunghyun says, trying to very hard to keep the lubricant from going anywhere else.

Jiyong is surprised yet again when he feels a finger begin to probe his entrance. It makes him let out an awkward grunt and immediately tense up.

"A warning would be nice!" Jiyong complains.

"I'm sorry! If I don't put it in now it's going to go everywhere else!" Seunghyun says, panicked.

"Fine, just do it!" Jiyong says.

And without further prompting, Seunghyun pushes a digit almost all the way in. Jiyong makes a pained noise, hanging his head down and tensing his body up. It feels incredibly strange and almost painful.

"You okay?" Seunghyun asks.

"No," Jiyong says, voice unintentionally raspy. "Go slow."

Seunghyun waits a moment before slowly pulling his finger out and then pushing it back in. It doesn't exactly feel better the second time but Jiyong doesn't stop him in hopes that it does.

Seunghyun continues to move his finger in and out, slow but going a bit quicker with each time. Jiyong closes his eyes, knowing Seunghyun is watching him intently and tries to hold back his winces. Jiyong usually likes being the center of attention but this is an entirely different level of intimacy that he just can't bear to face.

Without warning, Seunghyun adds a second finger and it makes Jiyong hiss. He tenses at the intrusion, making Seunghyun stop.

"You need to relax," Seunghyun says.

"You need to fucking warn me before you start adding more fingers!" Jiyong yells angrily. He opens his eyes to glare at Seunghyun for effect.

Seunghyun sighs above him. "I'm sorry, just---relax, please?" he pleads.

Jiyong breathes in his nose and out his mouth slowly and wills his muscles to relax. The pain seems to go away when he does, just a little bit. After a moment, Seunghyun continues with his ministrations, sometimes going faster or slower, experimenting with pace.

After awhile, it doesn't feel exactly bad nor exactly great. Ever once in awhile Jiyong feels a little bit of something good, but it's gone as soon as it appears.

"Is two enough?" Seunghyun asks as he stops, yet again.

"I don't know," Jiyong says and is about to chastise Seunghyun for being clueless when he remembers what happened the last time he did that. "Yes," Jiyong says instead.

Seunghyun pulls his fingers out and Jiyong grunts at the sudden lack of pressure. He watches as Seunghyun grabs for the condom he set aside previously. Seunghyun's fingers are too slick with lube to get it open and after three unsuccessful tries, Jiyong snatches it from him and rips it open himself.

Jiyong lets his eyes drift upward as Seunghyun puts the condom on, thinking that if he watches Seunghyun do it, he'll get second thoughts about this whole thing for the umpteenth time.

"Ready?" Seunghyun asks.

Jiyong feels a pressure at his entrance and he sucks in a surprised breath. Seunghyun's cock is bigger than it looks and Jiyong is about three seconds from pushing Seunghyun away and pulling up his pants. He's not ready.

"Yeah," Jiyong lies.

Seunghyun presses forward and Jiyong bites back a pained groan as he grimaces. It hurts more than he ever expected. Seunghyun's fingers were already pretty uncomfortable, but this feels way too intense.

Jiyong opens his eyes and is about to tell Seunghyun he doesn't want to do this anymore until he meets Seunghyun's eyes. He looks as if it's he's the one who is caving under pressure, like he's the one who feels this is too much, but in a different way.

"You okay?" Seunghyun asks, and his voice sounds completely wrecked. Jiyong has never heard him sound like that before.

"Y-yeah," Jiyong says, trying to choke back the pain in his voice, because he doesn't want Seunghyun to know.

Jiyong closes his eyes, inhales through his nose, and will his muscles to relax once again. Jiyong wouldn't be able to bear the emotional consequences of letting Seunghyun down a second time, so he just tries to deal with the physical pain.

"I'm gonna move," Seunghyun warns and then he's pushing forward again, his hips stuttering forward almost as if he's unable to hold back any longer.

Jiyong lets out something between a squeak and a groan. It makes Seunghyun laugh, breathless, stopping for a moment before pulling out and then thrusting back in.

Seunghyun moves a bit too fast and it still hurts. But as the pacing evens out it hurts a little less. The burning and the pressure becoming a dull ache, less stinging than before.

They ease into a rhythm as Jiyong relaxes a little more, allowing his legs to splay open and his back to curve. Seunghyun holds Jiyong at the waist, fingers digging into his skin, nails probably leaving marks. Jiyong can feel the remnants of lube on Seunghyun's fingers and it feels a little gross but Jiyong learns to ignore it for the sake of the moment.

Jiyong lets out sighs and moans as encouragement and after awhile they start becoming real. The pressure eventually starts to feel good and Jiyong finds himself enjoying the stretch. It feels like Seunghyun is just barely touching the end of something great and Jiyong is arching just to feel a little more of it.

But before Jiyong can really start to enjoy it, Seunghyun comes. His thrusts are erratic and uneven at the end as he moans out his pleasure. Jiyong frowns, disappointed in how Seunghyun doesn't last very long. Jiyong's just glad that Seunghyun's face is buried in the crook of his shoulder so he can't see Jiyong's face.

Seunghyun pulls out and Jiyong grunts as he does. Suddenly he feels very open and moves to close his legs just as soon as Seunghyun moves away. Jiyong's legs don't get very far, however. Seunghyun's hand sneaks between them, grabbing onto Jiyong's neglected erection and stroking it.

Jiyong gasps and arches into his touch. It feels better than his own hand ever has and certainly better than what they were just doing. Seunghyun's palm is big and warm and wraps around his cock just right. And a few strokes is all it takes before Jiyong is coming too, shooting onto Seunghyun's hand and his lower belly.

"Shit--," Seunghyun curses, hand covered in come with nowhere to put it. With some effort he manages to pull off a sock with his clean hand and wipes he and Jiyong off.

When the glow of his orgasm wears off, Jiyong sits up just in time to see Seunghyun throwing the condom off into the distance. Jiyong makes a face because of how dirty that is. He tries to focus on redressing instead.

"So? How was it?" Seunghyun asks, voice sounding especially small and discordant. He doesn't look at Jiyong as he asks it, looking as if he's extra busy while trying to zip his pants back up.

"It was...," Jiyong starts. He thinks it was messy and complicated just like he had thought. But Seunghyun looks so unconfident and almost embarrassed as he asks that Jiyong feels like Seunghyun deserves better than the truth. "It was perfect," Jiyong says with a smile.

Seunghyun's head snaps up in surprise. It takes a second but he smiles, wide enough for his dimples to show. And then he leans down, capturing Jiyong's lips with his own.

"I'm glad," Seunghyun says.

When they finally get redressed, it's completely dark outside. Jiyong's buzz is completely worn off by the time they start walking home, but he still has the courage to hold Seunghyun's hand as they walk.

Even though Jiyong had his fears and his doubts, he feels good for seeing something till the end, even if it didn't turn out how he expected. It makes him think of debuting. Will that turn out to be a disappointment too? From this experience, Jiyong knows he won't know until he tries.

"I hope we debut soon," Jiyong says, thinking aloud.

Seunghyun squeezes his hand. "Me too."