(no subject)
Well, our exchange student came to me on the verge of tears yesterday. Apparently, her host mother and sister have decided that they don't want her to stay with them anymore. Her host father wants her to stay, but it looks like she's being booted. After talking with my supervisor, I learned that it is mostly just a big culture clash.
From the mother's perspective, the student wasn't willing to help around the house. However, she acknowledges that the student always offered to help. The catch is that the student is considered a guest, so in order for her help to be accepted, she must offer more than once on each occasion in order to prevent her host mother from feeling rude for expecting a guest to help around the house. So, although the student wanted to help and kept offering, her offers were turned down with the expectation that a second offer to help would be forthcoming so that it could be accepted. Unfortunately, no one told the student about this bit of etiquette, so she was repeatedly offending her host mother. Crazy, no?
From the sister's perspective, the student didn't act Japanese enough. Her host sister is very proper and strict in terms of adhering to the expectations that her culture has placed on her. Normally, a foreigner would not be expected to adhere to these same expectations. However, the student looks Japanese. While Caucasians can get away with cultural errors in Japan, Asian foreigners get very little leeway by comparison, i.e., there is an unconscious expectation that, if you look Japanese, you know how to act Japanese.
So, in a few hours, I'm supposed to have lunch with the student because my supervisor is out of the office today. *sigh* I'm apparently just supposed to say that the school cannot get directly involved, but that we are here for her to talk to if she needs it. Poor kid.
From the mother's perspective, the student wasn't willing to help around the house. However, she acknowledges that the student always offered to help. The catch is that the student is considered a guest, so in order for her help to be accepted, she must offer more than once on each occasion in order to prevent her host mother from feeling rude for expecting a guest to help around the house. So, although the student wanted to help and kept offering, her offers were turned down with the expectation that a second offer to help would be forthcoming so that it could be accepted. Unfortunately, no one told the student about this bit of etiquette, so she was repeatedly offending her host mother. Crazy, no?
From the sister's perspective, the student didn't act Japanese enough. Her host sister is very proper and strict in terms of adhering to the expectations that her culture has placed on her. Normally, a foreigner would not be expected to adhere to these same expectations. However, the student looks Japanese. While Caucasians can get away with cultural errors in Japan, Asian foreigners get very little leeway by comparison, i.e., there is an unconscious expectation that, if you look Japanese, you know how to act Japanese.
So, in a few hours, I'm supposed to have lunch with the student because my supervisor is out of the office today. *sigh* I'm apparently just supposed to say that the school cannot get directly involved, but that we are here for her to talk to if she needs it. Poor kid.