Road Trip
Well, I'm back in Atlanta. And, as usual, I had a fairly amusing trip back through good ol' North Alabamy.
Step One: Waking Up
I decided to wake up at 830, put the rest of the laundry in the dryer, and run to Target to return something. Unfortunately, I woke up at 830, told myself that if I got up and did it I could sleep another half hour. Got up, did it, and then fell asleep until 11a. Got up, finished folding laundry and cleaning out some of the junk in my car and packing up, went to get gas, and hit the road about 1215.
Step Two: Leaving Town
Leaving was fairly boring. I narrowly avoided church havoc as a blind old honkey (just for you, Em) tried to pull out in to trafficmy car and then a teenager in a souped up Mazda tried to teach himself how to drag race in church traffic. Everyone else cowered and I, in my fashion, honked at him. He leaned out his window, turned his torso around to face me (now, note here that I am behind him) and waves his middle finger in a circle at me. My response: "OOoH, look, I have a middle finger, too! OH NO! I HAVE TWO! GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL JACKASS!"
Step Three: Tupelo to Jasper, Land of Signs
I was informed by a bridge that Angela loves Pecker. So if anyone sees Angela, tell her we know about her pecker infatuation.
Jesus also informed me that he was coming and wanted to make sure I was ready.
I stopped in Jasper for gas ($2.66) and pumped exactly one cent, one penny, over the amount in my bank account. Awesome. Luckily, I decided to run it as credit, so if I go in tomorrow morning and make a deposit. Of one penny. I'll be OK.
Step Four: Birmingham to Atlanta, Land of Nothing
And, outside of Birmingham was a big red billboard with white lettering that said, simply, "I pooted". I've been informed it has something to do with Cartoon Network, but at the time it was quite amusing.
It had been sprinkling here and there, and there were flash storms popping up all over the place, as well as construction that's been going on since I was like five. Traffic slowed to a crawl, and I wasn't surprised but it was about 20 miles before I expected it. Soon enough, there were emergency vehicles all over the place and sirens without vehicles to accompany them. Turns out that there were three wrecks, three separate (though probably related) wrecks that covered one lane of the Westbound 20 and both lanes of my Eastbound 20. It was awesome. I don't think that anyone died; the ambulance left with lights on and no sirens, so that means that someone was hurt badly but not badly enough that the coroner was called to the scene instead. We were there for about fourty five minutes, and everyone pretty much just put their cars in park, turned 'em off and I read for a little while with my window down. It was nice, cool breeze from the wind and all.
I stopped as planned at the Georgia Welcome Center. I should have thought better of that. All I wanted were Cheetos, and the damn vending machine ate my last dollar. I also couldn't seem to find a toilet which had been subject to someone who was above peeing on the seat, which was awesome. I'm fairly certain everyone at that rest stop thought I was plumb INSANE.
Step Five: Atlanta
Almost went the wrong way off the exit again, I need to just keep to getting off at downtown. Turned left on to Moreland from a right turn exit-- in my defense, it didn't say no left turn...
Got in about 8 even with the traffic (so about a 7 hour drive) and got something to eat. Yummy sub from Publix and hot wings that mom made with the biggest bottle of Texas Pete I've ever seen.
So, there you go. Angela loves Peckers, Jesus is coming and wants to know if you're ready, and I Pooted. Whoever "I" is.
Now I'm watching a particularly good Crossing Jordan re-run and waiting to watch some House. Then I'll sleep. Blissful sleep.
Up on the calendar tomorrow is harassing some folks at Strip and around Atlantic Station, getting my liscence renewed and making that one penny deposit at the bank.
Wish me luck!
Step One: Waking Up
I decided to wake up at 830, put the rest of the laundry in the dryer, and run to Target to return something. Unfortunately, I woke up at 830, told myself that if I got up and did it I could sleep another half hour. Got up, did it, and then fell asleep until 11a. Got up, finished folding laundry and cleaning out some of the junk in my car and packing up, went to get gas, and hit the road about 1215.
Step Two: Leaving Town
Leaving was fairly boring. I narrowly avoided church havoc as a blind old honkey (just for you, Em) tried to pull out in to trafficmy car and then a teenager in a souped up Mazda tried to teach himself how to drag race in church traffic. Everyone else cowered and I, in my fashion, honked at him. He leaned out his window, turned his torso around to face me (now, note here that I am behind him) and waves his middle finger in a circle at me. My response: "OOoH, look, I have a middle finger, too! OH NO! I HAVE TWO! GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL JACKASS!"
Step Three: Tupelo to Jasper, Land of Signs
I was informed by a bridge that Angela loves Pecker. So if anyone sees Angela, tell her we know about her pecker infatuation.
Jesus also informed me that he was coming and wanted to make sure I was ready.
I stopped in Jasper for gas ($2.66) and pumped exactly one cent, one penny, over the amount in my bank account. Awesome. Luckily, I decided to run it as credit, so if I go in tomorrow morning and make a deposit. Of one penny. I'll be OK.
Step Four: Birmingham to Atlanta, Land of Nothing
And, outside of Birmingham was a big red billboard with white lettering that said, simply, "I pooted". I've been informed it has something to do with Cartoon Network, but at the time it was quite amusing.
It had been sprinkling here and there, and there were flash storms popping up all over the place, as well as construction that's been going on since I was like five. Traffic slowed to a crawl, and I wasn't surprised but it was about 20 miles before I expected it. Soon enough, there were emergency vehicles all over the place and sirens without vehicles to accompany them. Turns out that there were three wrecks, three separate (though probably related) wrecks that covered one lane of the Westbound 20 and both lanes of my Eastbound 20. It was awesome. I don't think that anyone died; the ambulance left with lights on and no sirens, so that means that someone was hurt badly but not badly enough that the coroner was called to the scene instead. We were there for about fourty five minutes, and everyone pretty much just put their cars in park, turned 'em off and I read for a little while with my window down. It was nice, cool breeze from the wind and all.
I stopped as planned at the Georgia Welcome Center. I should have thought better of that. All I wanted were Cheetos, and the damn vending machine ate my last dollar. I also couldn't seem to find a toilet which had been subject to someone who was above peeing on the seat, which was awesome. I'm fairly certain everyone at that rest stop thought I was plumb INSANE.
Step Five: Atlanta
Almost went the wrong way off the exit again, I need to just keep to getting off at downtown. Turned left on to Moreland from a right turn exit-- in my defense, it didn't say no left turn...
Got in about 8 even with the traffic (so about a 7 hour drive) and got something to eat. Yummy sub from Publix and hot wings that mom made with the biggest bottle of Texas Pete I've ever seen.
So, there you go. Angela loves Peckers, Jesus is coming and wants to know if you're ready, and I Pooted. Whoever "I" is.
Now I'm watching a particularly good Crossing Jordan re-run and waiting to watch some House. Then I'll sleep. Blissful sleep.
Up on the calendar tomorrow is harassing some folks at Strip and around Atlantic Station, getting my liscence renewed and making that one penny deposit at the bank.
Wish me luck!