Leave A Message
Leave A Message
IU/Wooyoung
Rating: pg - genre: angst, romance
Love, like, crush - was there a difference between these three words? Ji Eun chuckled dryly as she placed her warm cheek against the desk, tracing the small love heart she had carved on the very left corner of the wooden table. They all mean the same things - heart breaks and a rush of happiness. As a little girl, Ji Eun had learned that these odd, yet funny emotions could cause an unimaginable damaged to one of the most sensitive area of your heart, mind and soul. A cute little boy with a dorky smile, how can something so precious but at the same time, so painful? Until today, she didn’t know if she hated him or missed him more. It's the tragedy of loving - she had come to realize after years of sorrow and tears. You can never love anything more than something you miss.
Jang Wooyoung was an entirely different story though. He was the type of guy who can never fail to bring a smile to her face with his idiotic jokes to his childish refusal of secretly being an expert at making annoying but cute expressions that had managed to melt millions of woman’s hearts all over the nation. Despite all the exceptional qualities he held, to Jieun either way - Jang Wooyoung was nothing special. Indeed they flirted around a little but it was nothing harmful, from time to time he would softly whisper sweet words into her ear and she would giggle like a five years old. It had almost become a routine, a bad one that is - the kind you would have been warned about countless of times but before you even realized the damage you had done, it was already too late to put the pieces back together. The thrilling shout of ‘take 5’ would mean - them ending up in an empty closet at the back of the set, constantly fooling around and Ji Eun could only wish that his heart won’t end up in pieces like hers, that his ending will be different.
“Time flies, don’t you think?”
Speaking of the devil - he smiled wryly; his hands safely tucked his pockets as he approached her. She waved awkwardly, dusting off the invisible patch of dust on her plaited skirt. Her palm sweating slightly as he took each step, she wasn’t nervous like some would have thought but more of worried. Wooyoung, he was so fragile, the littlest thing can rip him into two.
“Yeah, it’s already the last day but I still can see Suzy and Eunjung chatting about boys near the vending machine. Taecyeon and you, running around the set like bunch of wild monkeys - driving everyone and by that I mean me, absolutely berserk but I’m going to miss this, every single bit of it.”
A small smile formed as she turned to face him, patting the spot on the wooden chair next to her as a sign of invite. He looked hesitant, glancing at her warily but sat down either ways as he released a long sigh.
“Wow, the cold hearted woman; Ji Eun with feelings….this is new.”
“I used to feel too, you know? And I try, I really do but the bruises don’t go away, and so does how I hate, and so does the feeling that everything I receive from life is something I have earned. It’s a cruel thought, I feel like I’m caged up li - like some kind of an animal but you - you won’t ever know how it feels, at least I hope you won’t ever have to.”
He frowned slightly as his hand left his pockets, reaching over with pity reflecting in his eyes. She heaved a heavy sigh, shifting away from his uncomfortably. One touch could lead to another and no one would want that, especially on a day gloomy as this. Ji Eun could see the disappointment in his eyes as he cleared his throat and stared at the dirty ceiling in avoidance.
“Are you ever going to tell me about him?”
Her mouth gaped open but no sounds were made and she knew exactly why. She could feel the rising pain in her heart that she had once thought departed already. It was all numb - her heart. Never did she feel anything whether it was happiness, sadness, grief or any kind of emotional. Pain was the only thing remaining, her heart had frozen in place and how she regretted ever loving.
“He was a guy - a much older one, a teacher. It started out like any other relationship would, we talk, we share interests then we fell very much in love. How long was it? Three years or so, that was how long it last. We had to run around, hiding so he wouldn’t be troubled in near future. I…I think he got sick of me to be honest, me and my annoying homemade lunch boxes and demanding dates. He left town with a note with two words of apology written on it and that was when I finally understood- I realized that, him leaving was all he could ever do for me.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, aren’t you?”
She stared at him in confusion, taken back by his foul language. Ever since Ji Eun had met him, Wooyoung had always been the type to hide his emotions with a cheerful smile. Never once had he acted this way, he looked so frustrated - so angry but why? What had she said that might anger him? She simply only answered the question he had asked.
“When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense. They were necessary to make you possible. That’s my feeling toward you, Ji Eun. You had me wrapped around your tiny finger since the very first day. But you tell me that not even bothering to say good bye was all he could do for you? He gave up before it even started, he gave up that easily. He could have done so much more…….I - I can do so much more.”
Attachment, he had become attach to her and her poor old, broken heart. She smiled, the bitter, sad kind of smile because maybe that was the last thing she could give him. Slowly she reached over, stroking his face softly as she stared into his big brown orbs filled with hopes and nightmares.
“I'm sorry for my inability to let unimportant things go, for my inability to hold on to the important things. I’m sorry for my inability of not being able to return your feelings.”
Ji Eun bit her lips harshly; the smell of blood filling her senses as she forcefully pulled her wrist away from his tight grip. She closed her eyes tightly as she listened to the sound of his footsteps getting further and further away. A small smile could be seen as her finger tips lightly brushed against the freshly carved message.
"Do you think I'm wonderful?" She asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple behind his company's building. "No", he said. "Why?" "Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it's only noon. You couldn't be something that hundreds of others are." "Do you love me then?" she asked him once again. "On the last day of the filming, look under Pilsook’s desk if you want to know that badly."