chasing pavements
chasing pavements
~ 5600 w, pg-13 (kystal/onew, jessica/onew, jessica/jonghyun)
you don't expect to know who you will fall in love with.
a/n this fic is for my one year anniversary since i have been on livejournal. i hope all of you enjoy it ♥
They tell Sooyeon that she cannot move onto her senior year of highschool unless she manages to pass her literature class with a C + or higher. She personally finds it to be the stupidest thing she has ever heard, but her parents call the Lee household down the street anyways. When she meets Lee Jinki, the boy she realizes has been in the back of her literature class for the past two quarters, Sooyeon tries not to be too disappointed.
"I know you," She states, eyes blinking away the slight confusion hidden in them.
He nods slowly. Jinki wonders if this is an new discovery for her. He hopes not, but honestly, he wouldn't be surprised.
Lee Jinki is nothing of a literature expert. He knows his Shakespeare and respects Sallinger, but he doesn't whip out prose like it is nobody's business - nor does he necessarily get an A in the class. But he's free and he's close by and their moms are in the same book club. If anything, Jinki is also somewhat of an awkward turtle, head poking out of its shell in sheer inconvenience and all, especially around pretty girls. They are sixteen though and the amount of raging hormones is quickly diminished when he sees another girl walk out from behind Sooyeon.
"Who are you?" She's smaller, but not by much. Her eyes are wide and her face is graced by sharp features. For a minute, he feels like the girl is only a year younger - but Sooyeon doesn't have any siblings in the high school.
"Oh," Sooyeon points at him. "This is Jinki. He lives right up the street. Jinki, this is my younger sister, Soojung."
"Hi."
"Why are you here?" She asks with her eyebrows furrowed. Jinki stares at her for a long time, longer than he actually realizes. Before he can manage to actually say anything she rolls her eyes and walks away. He still doesn't say anything.
Unsurprisingly, Sooyeon snorts. She does it often, especially when the teacher cracks jokes using literary terms. While others try to laugh for pity's sake, she doesn't bother to hide her disdain.
"So, are you ready to hit the books, tutor?"
His eyes flicker over, a gulp in his throat swallowed down. "Yeah."
Jinki wonders why he felt more intimidated by the smaller girl.
Sooyeon isn't as dense as some people perceive her to be, Jinki thinks.
She actually isn't at all, but honestly, he doesn't really care. This is not one of those things in which a nerd gets to tutor his dream girl and somehow they fall in love. It isn't really his intention, anyways. Besides, Jinki finds himself anything far from a nerd. Maybe a music geek or a person who appreciates the fine arts - nerd just seemed derogatory.
"You're really not that bad at this," He compliments.
"I know I'm not," Sooyeon stops underlining and looks over at him. She looks him up and down and then continues, "I am just lazy."
A smile cracks onto Jinki's lips. At least she acknowledges it. Soojung walks by then, looking at the two of them at the dinner table. "They say being lethargic is one of humanity’s greatest downfalls - besides being apathetic. But I think the two go hand in hand, and you possess both of them -"
"Will you get out of here?!" Sooyeon throws a pencil at her. Her only one.
Soojung laughs and hugs her sister and then proceeds to leave, but Jinki swears that she glared at him.
"Don't be too scared of her, she doesn't bite. She's a brat sometimes, but a pretty smart brat."
He blinks, "How old is she?"
"Eleven."
What the fuck.
Jonghyun stops by Jinki's house before school one day.
"I heard your tutoring Sooyeon Jung," He states, eyebrows raised.
"No, I won't set you up with her."
"Why not? I mean - that's not why I said that."
"Then why did you say that?"
"I just wanted to know how it was going, that's all," Jonghyun has one of those cheesy, award winning smiles that usually jocks own. It's weird that he's in chorus.
Jinki looks a little dumbfounded. It isn't that Jonghyun is an uncaring person; it is just usually when it comes to girls he actually wants to get set up.
"It's going well," He mumbles, shoving a physics text book into his bag, "but her sister totally hates me."
"Soojung?"
"Yeah."
"She hates everyone, it is okay."
A pause. "She's eleven. Did you know that?"
"I know! But - Sooyeon is sixteen," Which is all he really cares about.
Jonghyun slings an arm around Jinki's frail shoulders. His biceps or triceps or whatever the hell they are - are huge. "Put in a good word for me?"
"No."
"Thanks! You're the best!"
It turns out they're all in the same choir group this year, now that they have decided to integrate boys’ and girls’ choir at their church. Jonghyun immediately talks his game up with Sooyeon. He's a shameless bastard when it comes to those kinds of things. Jinki isn't bothered, but he does catch Soojung staring a little too long in their general direction. He taps her shoulder, "Are you okay?"
She looks over and up at him, "Yeah, I'm just tired." She's a good liar.
They don't talk for a few minutes after that and the silence goes unnoticed by him. The thing about Jinki is that he's oblivious. He doesn't sense awkwardness - at least, not when he's the one causing it.
"Doesn't that bother you?" Soojung pesters him.
"What?"
"Your friend," She takes a minute to 'try' and remember his name, "Jonghyun. I mean, you like my sister, right?"
"What? No - no! I mean, not that she isn't - you know, pretty or anything like that. In fact, she's really, really pretty and, uh -" Wow, he must look stupid.
Soojung drags out a sigh. Yeah, she gets it. Sooyeon has always been pretty, especially prettier than her. Because of Jinki, Soojung starts to think that sixteen year olds are kind of stupid.
"If you say so," She's not really interested in high school drama, especially not her sister's.
They start singing after that, about Jesus, God's undying love for everyone on earth, his forgiveness, his mercy, and the last song is about hope. For some reason, this really strikes a chord in Jinki's vocal chords and apparently his falsetto has never been better. What he's hoping for? Well, only God knows.
"Sooyeon, I need you to pay attention."
"Yeah, I am - I am! Just, hold on."
"Sooyeon.”
No response.
"Sooyeon."
Jinki leans over to look at her phone screen. "Hey, what are you doing!?" She immediately extends her arm in the other direction, texting device clasped in between her fingers.
"Stop texting Jonghyun," He frowns. "Come on, just this one, last chapter, and we're done until spring break."
Sooyeon looks at Jinki blankly. She puts her phone away.
After twenty minutes, Jinki stands up, "Where's the bathroom?" Surprisingly, the six times he's been over, he's never had to use the bathroom once. It just wasn't an issue. Sooyeon is back on her phone though, hand motions straying from left to right. Jinki realizes he's on his own for this one.
He opens a door. Nope, it's a closet. Another one: nope, an empty guest room. Another one: nope, only a little girl crying - oh.
His fingers are still wrapped around the knob. By now Soojung has already noticed and she's wiping away at her eyes like nothing has happened.
"Why are you in my room?"
Jinki is standing at the door frame like a lost puppy. "I'm looking for the bathroom."
"Other side of the hall, idiot."
He can't believe he's being bullied by an eleven year old girl. But she's still crying and he inevitably feels bad. The scene is enough to provoke him to ask what's wrong. She doesn't give a response for a long time but Jinki doesn't move. He doesn't budge. He breathes, slower and slower, until he's sure that she's breathing too.
And then Jinki's bathroom break is over. "JIN-KI!" Sooyeon emphasizes the two syllables from down the hall. He frowns and closes the door, walking back to analyze more metaphors.
He still needs to pee.
Jonghyun and Sooyeon start dating and they are not afraid to make that known throughout church. They even hold hands during choir, for goodness sake.
Jinki sits down next to Soojung.
"You didn't tell my sister, did you?" She asks quietly, but her words are weighed down with severity.
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "No."
"Are you lying?"
"No."
And she sneaks another glance at her sister who's smiling wide and laughing, even if she really shouldn't be.
Soojung unconsciously cracks her knuckles. Nervous habit. "I had a crush on him first," Is all she says - and then the organ behind them drowns all other sounds out.
"GUESS WHO GOT A B - !?" He doesn't even have time to guess though before Sooyeon hugs him in the hallway in front of everyone.
He lets out this really nervous laugh and hugs her back.
It’s been two months since he started tutoring her. Two months since she started dating Jonghyun. Jinki is grinning ear from ear, "Congrats! I'm proud of you," He pats her shoulder lightly. Her bones called arms are still wrapped around her neck. She's beaming up at him.
And suddenly, her lips are against his.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
"Woah."
" - Woah. I am so sorry," She stumbles back, cheeks flaring red. Sooyeon surveys the area and realizes that no one had seen it, or if they did, they didn't really care.
Jinki's mouth is slightly open, words failing to form. It's almost like letters are getting all scrambled up in his trachea or something.
"I - I'm sorry," She repeats before she walks by him quickly and that breaks into a sprint down the hall. Suddenly, he feels uncertain.
Sooyeon thought no one saw, but someone did.
That someone tells Jonghyun.
Sooyeon is single by summer.
Jinki is no longer a tutor.
They don't talk about what happened the whole summer - it just never comes up. It never gets resolved.
He's in the supermarket one day looking for oranges when someone taps his shoulder. When he turns around, he's a little dumbfounded.
"Soojung?"
"Hey stranger," She smiles at him this time. Oddly, she looks older. She is definitely taller.
"How long has it been since I last saw you?"
"Two weeks," She's on point. "We exchanged glances because you were getting the mail and I was taking out the garbage, and I definitely saw you, but you pretended not to see me."
"Hah."
"I'm twelve now," Soojung reaches behind him and grabs a package of strawberries, dropping them into her basket.
"So they let you go grocery shopping by yourself?" Jinki swears he was fourteen when his parents let him do that.
"Yeah, but anyways, I heard you kissed my sister. But I know it's the other way around. I know she kissed you.'
No reply.
"She wants to tell you she's sorry."
"Did she tell you to tell me that?"
"Well, no. But I can tell just by looking at her. She's sorry. She misses you too, more than she probably misses Jonghyun - even though she's cried over that. I feel like she misses you so much though that she can't bring herself to cry," Soojung looks at her basket and then his empty one.
"Are you going to buy something?"
"Wait - what? Tell her it is okay. Tell her I'm not mad -"
"Should I tell her you like her?"
Jinki's throat constricts along with his rib cage. Suddenly, he feels horrible. No. That would be a lie if Soojung told her that. His mouth opens but nothing comes out.
"I - ," He tries before Soojung cuts him off - "It doesn't really matter anyways. We're going to America once the summer is over for a year. Then she wants to go to college there, oh geez, my mom is calling me. I better pay for this - bye!"
He stands in the citrus aisle for another minute. Ten. Fifteen. Oh look, it's been half an hour.
When Jinki looks out his living room window one day he can see boxes. He wants to walk up the street but he doesn't.
Oddly enough, he sees a blur of black hair. And muscles.
Jonghyun is there and if he squints and presses his face against the glass really closely, he swears he can see him holding Jessica.
Nothing exciting happens during senior year.
Jinki doesn't get a girlfriend. He doesn't get randomly kissed again. He doesn't become a tutor. But him and Jonghyun do becomes friends again.
Also, he gets a post card.
It's one of those picture post cards from California, a long red bridge stretching out over an abyss of water. They are dappled little things, probably cars along the road, and in fancy silver writing The Golden Gate Bridge is etched onto the side. It's up on his wall now, one of the few things up there anyways. Right beside a picture of him and his mom and dad and dog, there's California.
Jinki!
You probably don't remember me, but whatever. Hope you're having fun in Korea.
Your friend, Soojung.
P.S. Sooyeon says hi.
When he first got it, it made him smile. For a long time, he wondered when him and Soojung ever became friends.
He didn't really remember that Sooyeon said hi.
Jinki goes off to college far away in order to find himself. Technically, he was never really lost. It is one of those self-exploration things, where you just feel like you don't know who you are anymore. He realizes that the smallest things trouble him. He also realizes that the strangest things interest him. Jinki takes note that he's unfeeling. Being incapable of emotion is probably one of his greatest downfalls. In college, girls become something of a diversion tactic. Jinki is nowhere near being a player, but by the end of his first year he is not a virgin either.
And then one day his phone rings.
"Mom?"
"The Jungs are back," Is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. He can almost feel his mom smiling through the phone line. It isn't like he's not excited; he just doesn't see why she is.
"You should come home this weekend. We're inviting them over for dinner."
He fixes himself in the mirror, even though his mother can't see her. Suddenly, Jinki feels a little too dirty.
"I'll be there."
It's weird when you show up to your own house in a collared shirt and a tie.
His dad texted him last minute, informing that it would be somewhat fancy. And it is.
Sooyeon is wearing a black dress that contrasts from her newly dyed, blond hair. She looks great. But it's Soojung that catches him totally off guard. She's taller than Sooyeon, her legs are longer, and there's something in his stomach that does this weird knot thing. It feels wrong.
They both look at him and he doesn't know who to look at so his head keeps moving back and forth.
"Sooyeon! Soojung!"
The two of them look at each other for a really long moment before they laugh.
"No one has called us that besides our parents in such a long time," Sooyeon says, looking at Jinki. Something about her face seems a bit cold now, a bit more distant. But he also feels like she looks apologetic for something that happened years ago. He coughs.
"My American name is Jessica," She tells him. Soojung smirks, tucking strands of long raven hair behind her ear. "And mine is Krystal."
"Krystal," Jinki repeats absentmindedly, and albeit, loudly. They both stare and Soojung cracks a smile at him.
"You got it."
They spend the whole dinner talking about things that Jinki won't remember.
Sooyeon goes outside to take a phone call and their parents are chatting it up about politics. Soojung looks at him from across the table and grins, "Did you get my postcard?"
"Yeah. I liked it, but that was a year ago."
"Don't complain - you never sent me one back."
He snorts, "Okay, you get me there."
Soojung nods her head and eats another piece of broccoli, swallowing it down like a champ.
"So, how old are now?" He asks.
"Guess."
"You kind of look older than your sister. it's kind of weird."
"Jerk, I'm fourteen. She's nineteen, which means you are too," Dark eyes roll at him.
"It’s a good thing you look older," Jinki tells her honestly. He doesn't know why, and hell, he sure is thankful that she doesn't ask.
He's putting on his shoes and is about to walk outside when he feels skinny fingers wrap around his wrist. "Sooj - "
Jinki turns, quickly fixing himself, "Yeon. Hey."
"Want to go on a walk around the neighborhood really quick?"
"Yeah, sure."
And then they start walking and not talking, the silence that fills the atmosphere anything and everything except welcomed. He feels uneasy for some reason, almost unusually unnatural at the whole thing. Jinki wonders if she feels it too, the way her steps sway her from side to side. Two years ago they had been friends, on her side it may have been partially more than that. Jinki doesn't really know. He doesn't know a lot of things, it seems.
"Do you still talk to Jonghyun?" She asks.
"The occasional video chat," Jinki replies.
More silence. There's a big elephant following right behind them, weighing their steps down and drowning them out with its heavy thumping. Jinki feels cement blocks on his chest.
"About two years ago -"
"Sooyeon, really -"
"No. I'm sorry, that was silly of me."
"The kiss? Well, a little."
"No. I don't mean that. I mean, not telling you that I liked you. I thought it would be weird, you know, girl falls for her tutor while she has a boyfriend. Blah .. blah blah. Some romantic comedy shit that no one ever understands," She swears. Jinki stops walking and looks at her. Honestly, he didn't know. It was weird hearing it now though. But if he were to look back at it, maybe he did know. Maybe he just ignored it.
"And want to know something really, really funny?"
"Uhm, okay."
"I still like you."
It just happens. They start dating.
Jinki learns how to like her the way in which a boyfriend should like their girlfriend. After a while, in between all the kisses and hugs, he realizes that yeah - he actually does like her. Slowly, the two years in which he dates Sooyeon Jung are seemingly the happiest two years of his life. She's funny and not that kind - but he's okay with that. They go home together one day, a whole week back in their old street for Sooyeon's birthday.
"I celebrate birthday weeks."
"You're kidding, right?"
His mom and dad are happy to see him, if they aren't already ecstatic at the fact that he's dating Sooyeon: the prettiest girl on the block. When they're having dinner at the Jung household Soojung walks out with this smile across her face. It looks like she's trying too hard.
"You really need to stop growing," Jinki kindly informs her with a cheesy grin of his own.
She glares and punches him as she walks by. "I'm sixteen, I can do whatever the hell I want," Except for say hell in front of their parents of course, but it's just Jinki.
"You're sixteen? No way," He mocks, but honestly, he is still surprised to find out she is so young. Okay, not that young, but still.
"And still boyfriend less," Sooyeon adds with a smirk. Soojung kicks her shin and looks back at him, "I know, I'm prettier than I was five years ago. It's okay, feel free to tell me. It isn't that weird."
But it is. Jinki just laughs for a few seconds before completely changing the subject, "So, what's for dinner?"
Sooyeon gets into an argument with her parents that night afterwards. This drifts into half an hour. Which becomes an hour. Which results in, "Jinki, I'm sorry - but could you drive Soojung to her friend’s for tonight?"
He crinkles his nose a bit. It isn't really like he has a choice, anyways.
"So, how far does your friend live from here?"
"Half an hour," Soojung jumps into shot gun and looks at him in the dark.
"Do you have any other friends who live closer?"
"Yeah, but, I feel like Amber needs my company the most tonight," She closes the door and leans back in her chair, looking through the glass door of her house. Her parents are still standing there, arms folded. Sooyeon is there too in the same exact position. In this moment, Soojung can't help but feel a little more mature than her actual older sister.
"They fight like this whenever Sooyeon comes home," Soojung says quietly as he backs up out of the driveway. She enters the address in the GPS system before remembering their radio is broken.
For the next five minutes, the only thing they listen to is the lady's clear cut voice.
Make a left at Spruce Street.
"You were an intimidating kid. Did you know that?" Jinki keeps his eyes focused on the road. "You were intimidating and small. But your features are sharper than your sisters - maybe that is why you look older."
Soojung doesn't say anything for a while.
"You know that day you found me crying?"
"What about it?"
"I don't know. But, I remember you stood there and you stared at me. In the quiet, no words were said at all, and I was eleven and I was crying over the stupidest thing ever - my sister was dating the boy I liked from church, who, ridiculously, was five years older than me. But anyways, you stood there and said nothing at all - and I felt okay. But maybe that's the joy of being an eleven year old: just having someone around makes you feel better. I don't know if it's that way now or anything, I haven't cried in awhile. After that moment though I considered you my friend," Finally Soojung breathes and she bites down on her quivering lip.
He swallows down a lump in his throat that he was not even aware was there. Jinki wants to tell her that he gets it. He really does.
"I like it," Jinki decides to say. "I like that we're friends."
From the corner of his eye he can see Soojung's lips pull into a smile. There's a feeling of content that lingers in the air, an unfamiliar feeling of fluttering in the void parts of his stomach.
"As friends though, I got to tell you. I didn't think my sister was your type. Am I being absurd? But don't get me wrong, I think you guys are the cutest things ever, I just - I don't know. I felt kind of disappointed when I found out you guys were dating."
And he stops at a red light, the silence consuming both of them. Twenty minutes has never seemed longer.
When he drops her off and she gets out of the car he opens up her window before she walks in.
"Soojung?"
"Did I forget something?"
"No. But, I care about your sister. A lot."
She stands in Amber's driveway for another minute or two. Her eyes are faintly lit by the car headlights that only really show the jeans she's wearing.
"I know." But that doesn't mean you love her.
Later in that week, they go drinking.
People may not know it, but Jinki can't really handle his alcohol all that well. After two shots and some fancy margarita, the room is already spinning and Sooyeon is starting to look a lot different. She's drunk too, though. Her giggles are interchanged with hiccups various times and she starts to yell at anyone who won't call her Jessica. Soon, she starts speaking English too. Jinki nods when she starts telling him about some American show called The OC, and "Seth and Summer are SOOO cute," but he has no idea what is actually going on.
"You're cute, Soojung," Jinki whispers in her ear then.
The next thing he knows, Sooyeon has pushed him away. In the wisps and blurs of his vision he sees water rimmed eyes.
In the next, he sees the seat next to him in the bar completely empty.
Sooyeon, please, call me back.
Sooyeon, I am sorry - please, just call me back so we can talk about this. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying.
Sooyeon, this .. is about the third time I have called you within the past two hours. I know you have your phone. Please, call me back.
Sooyeon, I don't know what I can do to make it up to you.
He throws his phone on his bed after that and goes out for a jog. Conveniently, he jogs by her house six times. No one is ever there.
One missed called: Jung Soojung
"I think we should break up." If he says he didn't see it coming, it would be a lie.
It wouldn't stop raining that day. The weather seemed appropriate. Sooyeon looked sad, but not as sad as he would have expected her to be. Then again, Jinki isn't sure. How sad are girls supposed to be when they do things like this? He doesn't want her to be hysteric - but he swears he can almost see a smile on her lips. Jinki doesn't say anything, like most of the times in his life. He's funny, he's charming, but he's quiet and isn't sure of himself. Ever. But when someone's wrong, when he wants something, he fights for it.
He doesn't fight for this.
"I am sorry," But it's not an apology to get her back. He really is sorry. Sooyeon lets out a laugh, it's light and sad.
"I feel like I always knew. Kind of, anyways."
"Knew what?"
"That you had more interest in Soojung," She looks at him carefully. Interest. What a word.
"I'm not saying that you've liked her since we were younger - no, definitely not that. But I just .. knew that you two talked more easily. It was weird, but now, I think I get it. I'm not mad, I could never be mad over something like that. I was disappointed, but after a while, I found out I wasn't that surprised about it. It's five years, that's not a lot. And she's almost as mature - if not more mature than I am. I don't know. But we weren't going to work out, I think you knew it too," Sooyeon grabs his hand one last time. It's not for a melodramatic effect. When she squeezes it, he feels okay. She lets him know that it will be.
"There's something between the two of you that kind of always been there. It's there, but I don't know what it is."
Jinki squeezes her hand back, "Yeah, I don't know either."
Sooyeon's birthday week is over and so is their relationship.
Jinki doesn't say goodbye to Soojung, he only says hello to his college dorm room.
"I missed you, you sorry excuse for a bed," He looks at the striped sheets, knowing that there are rusted springs underneath them. He falls onto it though and within seconds, he falls asleep.
Occasionally, Sooyeon calls him.
Occasionally, Soojung calls him.
He only picks up for the former.
It's this weird sense of fear that instills itself into his very flesh whenever the latter calls. Jinki doesn't know why, but he doesn't know what to say. He lives like this for the next two years and the next thing he knows is that he's twenty three and it's time to go back home. It's time to find an apartment. It's time to live life and find new people, and not think about some icy girl back home. Despite what others thing, Jinki isn't scared to move on. He's scared of what he might be leaving behind. Maybe this, this was growing up.
"Hold on!" He's shoving things into boxes and into bags. The banging coming from the other side of his wooden door is almost violent.
When he swings it open he finds a girl there with her hand formed into a small fist. Jinki's eyes widen, looking down at the girl who he thinks it is but can hardly believe it to be.
"Soojung? What are you doing here?"
"I ran away from home. I'm sorry - I'm so, so sorry."
It happens when you don't do what your parents want you to do - being scared. She's been wiping away at the mascara underneath her eyes that isn't actually there anymore. There's something about her that's changed, how she seems older and how Jinki can't actually wrap his mind around it. Soojung goes on about how she felt suffocated, about how she felt like she needed to get away, about how she missed him. And that's when she stops and catches herself in between some tears and missing her sister that she has just realized what she's said. This is when she's eleven, and he's sixteen - and they're not twenty three or eighteen - but he stands and leans against the wall, and says nothing. For once, besides that memory that Jinki has burnt in the back of his mind, he sees a fragment of what was now becoming what is.
And it's like proving an experiment, one that they're tried to prove for the past seven years.
"Hey," He mumbles and moves closer before he takes the seat next to her. Jinki rubs his palms against the jean fabric on his knees and looks back at her. There are tears streaming down her face, her hand carefully placed over her eyes so that maybe, just maybe, he won't be able to see her. Maybe she'll just vanish.
"Hey," Jinki repeats, moving her hand away from her face slowly. He looks at her carefully, a frown coming across his countenance.
The action is unexpected, but almost as if it was also inevitable.
His lips press against hers, and suddenly, they both feel better.
He's driving them home. Soojung is sitting in shotgun, raven hair falling over her shoulder and her head carefully leaned against the window. It's getting warm outside again, the pale hand of winter nothing but a memory. But there is a hand on his then, fingers small and bony, lingering on top of his own. Jinki tries his best to concentrate on driving, wondering how her parents will react once they know he has her.
"You need to listen to what they say."
"You've got to be kidding me, Jinki," She stares at him.
He shakes his head, "They love you. Your sister argued with them all the time, but finally she learned that. You have to listen."
"Even if they're telling me to go to America for the next two years?"
There's a sudden piercing, an abrupt, dull ache finding itself ringing in his ears. He squeezes her hand lightly.
"Even if they're telling you to go to America for the next two years."
Jinki clears his throat one last time when she hugs him at the airport. She's not crying and neither is he. It's too early for that, but now, they know that they're on the edge of something.
"Please don't let me miss something in America that doesn't exist," Soojung tells him quietly, not wanting to let go.
He lets out this faint, light laugh.
"I'll wait for you." Promise.
"You've waited about seven years for me."
"Two more won't kill me," He presses a kiss against her forehead, fingers tentative and reluctant to release her. Jinki stares at her for another moment, realizing that this is it. This is the girl, the eleven year old girl that he never knew he would feel something for. This is the girl that has made him capable of feeling again - this is it.
And he doesn't expect it, he never expects it, but the last kiss he’ll have from her for the next two years leaves his lips tingling, and it's enough for him to keep on waiting.
"No more chasing pavements. I've found it."
There's a wedding in a certain month, on a certain day, for a certain couple two years later.
Jinki is the best man.
"I know pronounce you, husband and wife," And Jessica and Jonghyun kiss and he catches glimpse of the maid of honor behind her. It's that fluttering feeling again, the one that leaves him quivering and knowing that she's his after all this time. Nine years, and they finally got it right. He's twenty five and she's twenty - and there's a hand extended out to her while a laugh of bliss escapes her lips.
"May I have this dance?" Jinki asks Soojung with a smile that reaches his eyes and makes her heart skip a beat.
She simply laces her fingers with his, "It took you long enough to ask."
~ 5600 w, pg-13 (kystal/onew, jessica/onew, jessica/jonghyun)
you don't expect to know who you will fall in love with.
a/n this fic is for my one year anniversary since i have been on livejournal. i hope all of you enjoy it ♥
They tell Sooyeon that she cannot move onto her senior year of highschool unless she manages to pass her literature class with a C + or higher. She personally finds it to be the stupidest thing she has ever heard, but her parents call the Lee household down the street anyways. When she meets Lee Jinki, the boy she realizes has been in the back of her literature class for the past two quarters, Sooyeon tries not to be too disappointed.
"I know you," She states, eyes blinking away the slight confusion hidden in them.
He nods slowly. Jinki wonders if this is an new discovery for her. He hopes not, but honestly, he wouldn't be surprised.
Lee Jinki is nothing of a literature expert. He knows his Shakespeare and respects Sallinger, but he doesn't whip out prose like it is nobody's business - nor does he necessarily get an A in the class. But he's free and he's close by and their moms are in the same book club. If anything, Jinki is also somewhat of an awkward turtle, head poking out of its shell in sheer inconvenience and all, especially around pretty girls. They are sixteen though and the amount of raging hormones is quickly diminished when he sees another girl walk out from behind Sooyeon.
"Who are you?" She's smaller, but not by much. Her eyes are wide and her face is graced by sharp features. For a minute, he feels like the girl is only a year younger - but Sooyeon doesn't have any siblings in the high school.
"Oh," Sooyeon points at him. "This is Jinki. He lives right up the street. Jinki, this is my younger sister, Soojung."
"Hi."
"Why are you here?" She asks with her eyebrows furrowed. Jinki stares at her for a long time, longer than he actually realizes. Before he can manage to actually say anything she rolls her eyes and walks away. He still doesn't say anything.
Unsurprisingly, Sooyeon snorts. She does it often, especially when the teacher cracks jokes using literary terms. While others try to laugh for pity's sake, she doesn't bother to hide her disdain.
"So, are you ready to hit the books, tutor?"
His eyes flicker over, a gulp in his throat swallowed down. "Yeah."
Jinki wonders why he felt more intimidated by the smaller girl.
Sooyeon isn't as dense as some people perceive her to be, Jinki thinks.
She actually isn't at all, but honestly, he doesn't really care. This is not one of those things in which a nerd gets to tutor his dream girl and somehow they fall in love. It isn't really his intention, anyways. Besides, Jinki finds himself anything far from a nerd. Maybe a music geek or a person who appreciates the fine arts - nerd just seemed derogatory.
"You're really not that bad at this," He compliments.
"I know I'm not," Sooyeon stops underlining and looks over at him. She looks him up and down and then continues, "I am just lazy."
A smile cracks onto Jinki's lips. At least she acknowledges it. Soojung walks by then, looking at the two of them at the dinner table. "They say being lethargic is one of humanity’s greatest downfalls - besides being apathetic. But I think the two go hand in hand, and you possess both of them -"
"Will you get out of here?!" Sooyeon throws a pencil at her. Her only one.
Soojung laughs and hugs her sister and then proceeds to leave, but Jinki swears that she glared at him.
"Don't be too scared of her, she doesn't bite. She's a brat sometimes, but a pretty smart brat."
He blinks, "How old is she?"
"Eleven."
What the fuck.
Jonghyun stops by Jinki's house before school one day.
"I heard your tutoring Sooyeon Jung," He states, eyebrows raised.
"No, I won't set you up with her."
"Why not? I mean - that's not why I said that."
"Then why did you say that?"
"I just wanted to know how it was going, that's all," Jonghyun has one of those cheesy, award winning smiles that usually jocks own. It's weird that he's in chorus.
Jinki looks a little dumbfounded. It isn't that Jonghyun is an uncaring person; it is just usually when it comes to girls he actually wants to get set up.
"It's going well," He mumbles, shoving a physics text book into his bag, "but her sister totally hates me."
"Soojung?"
"Yeah."
"She hates everyone, it is okay."
A pause. "She's eleven. Did you know that?"
"I know! But - Sooyeon is sixteen," Which is all he really cares about.
Jonghyun slings an arm around Jinki's frail shoulders. His biceps or triceps or whatever the hell they are - are huge. "Put in a good word for me?"
"No."
"Thanks! You're the best!"
It turns out they're all in the same choir group this year, now that they have decided to integrate boys’ and girls’ choir at their church. Jonghyun immediately talks his game up with Sooyeon. He's a shameless bastard when it comes to those kinds of things. Jinki isn't bothered, but he does catch Soojung staring a little too long in their general direction. He taps her shoulder, "Are you okay?"
She looks over and up at him, "Yeah, I'm just tired." She's a good liar.
They don't talk for a few minutes after that and the silence goes unnoticed by him. The thing about Jinki is that he's oblivious. He doesn't sense awkwardness - at least, not when he's the one causing it.
"Doesn't that bother you?" Soojung pesters him.
"What?"
"Your friend," She takes a minute to 'try' and remember his name, "Jonghyun. I mean, you like my sister, right?"
"What? No - no! I mean, not that she isn't - you know, pretty or anything like that. In fact, she's really, really pretty and, uh -" Wow, he must look stupid.
Soojung drags out a sigh. Yeah, she gets it. Sooyeon has always been pretty, especially prettier than her. Because of Jinki, Soojung starts to think that sixteen year olds are kind of stupid.
"If you say so," She's not really interested in high school drama, especially not her sister's.
They start singing after that, about Jesus, God's undying love for everyone on earth, his forgiveness, his mercy, and the last song is about hope. For some reason, this really strikes a chord in Jinki's vocal chords and apparently his falsetto has never been better. What he's hoping for? Well, only God knows.
"Sooyeon, I need you to pay attention."
"Yeah, I am - I am! Just, hold on."
"Sooyeon.”
No response.
"Sooyeon."
Jinki leans over to look at her phone screen. "Hey, what are you doing!?" She immediately extends her arm in the other direction, texting device clasped in between her fingers.
"Stop texting Jonghyun," He frowns. "Come on, just this one, last chapter, and we're done until spring break."
Sooyeon looks at Jinki blankly. She puts her phone away.
After twenty minutes, Jinki stands up, "Where's the bathroom?" Surprisingly, the six times he's been over, he's never had to use the bathroom once. It just wasn't an issue. Sooyeon is back on her phone though, hand motions straying from left to right. Jinki realizes he's on his own for this one.
He opens a door. Nope, it's a closet. Another one: nope, an empty guest room. Another one: nope, only a little girl crying - oh.
His fingers are still wrapped around the knob. By now Soojung has already noticed and she's wiping away at her eyes like nothing has happened.
"Why are you in my room?"
Jinki is standing at the door frame like a lost puppy. "I'm looking for the bathroom."
"Other side of the hall, idiot."
He can't believe he's being bullied by an eleven year old girl. But she's still crying and he inevitably feels bad. The scene is enough to provoke him to ask what's wrong. She doesn't give a response for a long time but Jinki doesn't move. He doesn't budge. He breathes, slower and slower, until he's sure that she's breathing too.
And then Jinki's bathroom break is over. "JIN-KI!" Sooyeon emphasizes the two syllables from down the hall. He frowns and closes the door, walking back to analyze more metaphors.
He still needs to pee.
Jonghyun and Sooyeon start dating and they are not afraid to make that known throughout church. They even hold hands during choir, for goodness sake.
Jinki sits down next to Soojung.
"You didn't tell my sister, did you?" She asks quietly, but her words are weighed down with severity.
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "No."
"Are you lying?"
"No."
And she sneaks another glance at her sister who's smiling wide and laughing, even if she really shouldn't be.
Soojung unconsciously cracks her knuckles. Nervous habit. "I had a crush on him first," Is all she says - and then the organ behind them drowns all other sounds out.
"GUESS WHO GOT A B - !?" He doesn't even have time to guess though before Sooyeon hugs him in the hallway in front of everyone.
He lets out this really nervous laugh and hugs her back.
It’s been two months since he started tutoring her. Two months since she started dating Jonghyun. Jinki is grinning ear from ear, "Congrats! I'm proud of you," He pats her shoulder lightly. Her bones called arms are still wrapped around her neck. She's beaming up at him.
And suddenly, her lips are against his.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
"Woah."
" - Woah. I am so sorry," She stumbles back, cheeks flaring red. Sooyeon surveys the area and realizes that no one had seen it, or if they did, they didn't really care.
Jinki's mouth is slightly open, words failing to form. It's almost like letters are getting all scrambled up in his trachea or something.
"I - I'm sorry," She repeats before she walks by him quickly and that breaks into a sprint down the hall. Suddenly, he feels uncertain.
Sooyeon thought no one saw, but someone did.
That someone tells Jonghyun.
Sooyeon is single by summer.
Jinki is no longer a tutor.
They don't talk about what happened the whole summer - it just never comes up. It never gets resolved.
He's in the supermarket one day looking for oranges when someone taps his shoulder. When he turns around, he's a little dumbfounded.
"Soojung?"
"Hey stranger," She smiles at him this time. Oddly, she looks older. She is definitely taller.
"How long has it been since I last saw you?"
"Two weeks," She's on point. "We exchanged glances because you were getting the mail and I was taking out the garbage, and I definitely saw you, but you pretended not to see me."
"Hah."
"I'm twelve now," Soojung reaches behind him and grabs a package of strawberries, dropping them into her basket.
"So they let you go grocery shopping by yourself?" Jinki swears he was fourteen when his parents let him do that.
"Yeah, but anyways, I heard you kissed my sister. But I know it's the other way around. I know she kissed you.'
No reply.
"She wants to tell you she's sorry."
"Did she tell you to tell me that?"
"Well, no. But I can tell just by looking at her. She's sorry. She misses you too, more than she probably misses Jonghyun - even though she's cried over that. I feel like she misses you so much though that she can't bring herself to cry," Soojung looks at her basket and then his empty one.
"Are you going to buy something?"
"Wait - what? Tell her it is okay. Tell her I'm not mad -"
"Should I tell her you like her?"
Jinki's throat constricts along with his rib cage. Suddenly, he feels horrible. No. That would be a lie if Soojung told her that. His mouth opens but nothing comes out.
"I - ," He tries before Soojung cuts him off - "It doesn't really matter anyways. We're going to America once the summer is over for a year. Then she wants to go to college there, oh geez, my mom is calling me. I better pay for this - bye!"
He stands in the citrus aisle for another minute. Ten. Fifteen. Oh look, it's been half an hour.
When Jinki looks out his living room window one day he can see boxes. He wants to walk up the street but he doesn't.
Oddly enough, he sees a blur of black hair. And muscles.
Jonghyun is there and if he squints and presses his face against the glass really closely, he swears he can see him holding Jessica.
Nothing exciting happens during senior year.
Jinki doesn't get a girlfriend. He doesn't get randomly kissed again. He doesn't become a tutor. But him and Jonghyun do becomes friends again.
Also, he gets a post card.
It's one of those picture post cards from California, a long red bridge stretching out over an abyss of water. They are dappled little things, probably cars along the road, and in fancy silver writing The Golden Gate Bridge is etched onto the side. It's up on his wall now, one of the few things up there anyways. Right beside a picture of him and his mom and dad and dog, there's California.
Jinki!
You probably don't remember me, but whatever. Hope you're having fun in Korea.
Your friend, Soojung.
P.S. Sooyeon says hi.
When he first got it, it made him smile. For a long time, he wondered when him and Soojung ever became friends.
He didn't really remember that Sooyeon said hi.
Jinki goes off to college far away in order to find himself. Technically, he was never really lost. It is one of those self-exploration things, where you just feel like you don't know who you are anymore. He realizes that the smallest things trouble him. He also realizes that the strangest things interest him. Jinki takes note that he's unfeeling. Being incapable of emotion is probably one of his greatest downfalls. In college, girls become something of a diversion tactic. Jinki is nowhere near being a player, but by the end of his first year he is not a virgin either.
And then one day his phone rings.
"Mom?"
"The Jungs are back," Is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. He can almost feel his mom smiling through the phone line. It isn't like he's not excited; he just doesn't see why she is.
"You should come home this weekend. We're inviting them over for dinner."
He fixes himself in the mirror, even though his mother can't see her. Suddenly, Jinki feels a little too dirty.
"I'll be there."
It's weird when you show up to your own house in a collared shirt and a tie.
His dad texted him last minute, informing that it would be somewhat fancy. And it is.
Sooyeon is wearing a black dress that contrasts from her newly dyed, blond hair. She looks great. But it's Soojung that catches him totally off guard. She's taller than Sooyeon, her legs are longer, and there's something in his stomach that does this weird knot thing. It feels wrong.
They both look at him and he doesn't know who to look at so his head keeps moving back and forth.
"Sooyeon! Soojung!"
The two of them look at each other for a really long moment before they laugh.
"No one has called us that besides our parents in such a long time," Sooyeon says, looking at Jinki. Something about her face seems a bit cold now, a bit more distant. But he also feels like she looks apologetic for something that happened years ago. He coughs.
"My American name is Jessica," She tells him. Soojung smirks, tucking strands of long raven hair behind her ear. "And mine is Krystal."
"Krystal," Jinki repeats absentmindedly, and albeit, loudly. They both stare and Soojung cracks a smile at him.
"You got it."
They spend the whole dinner talking about things that Jinki won't remember.
Sooyeon goes outside to take a phone call and their parents are chatting it up about politics. Soojung looks at him from across the table and grins, "Did you get my postcard?"
"Yeah. I liked it, but that was a year ago."
"Don't complain - you never sent me one back."
He snorts, "Okay, you get me there."
Soojung nods her head and eats another piece of broccoli, swallowing it down like a champ.
"So, how old are now?" He asks.
"Guess."
"You kind of look older than your sister. it's kind of weird."
"Jerk, I'm fourteen. She's nineteen, which means you are too," Dark eyes roll at him.
"It’s a good thing you look older," Jinki tells her honestly. He doesn't know why, and hell, he sure is thankful that she doesn't ask.
He's putting on his shoes and is about to walk outside when he feels skinny fingers wrap around his wrist. "Sooj - "
Jinki turns, quickly fixing himself, "Yeon. Hey."
"Want to go on a walk around the neighborhood really quick?"
"Yeah, sure."
And then they start walking and not talking, the silence that fills the atmosphere anything and everything except welcomed. He feels uneasy for some reason, almost unusually unnatural at the whole thing. Jinki wonders if she feels it too, the way her steps sway her from side to side. Two years ago they had been friends, on her side it may have been partially more than that. Jinki doesn't really know. He doesn't know a lot of things, it seems.
"Do you still talk to Jonghyun?" She asks.
"The occasional video chat," Jinki replies.
More silence. There's a big elephant following right behind them, weighing their steps down and drowning them out with its heavy thumping. Jinki feels cement blocks on his chest.
"About two years ago -"
"Sooyeon, really -"
"No. I'm sorry, that was silly of me."
"The kiss? Well, a little."
"No. I don't mean that. I mean, not telling you that I liked you. I thought it would be weird, you know, girl falls for her tutor while she has a boyfriend. Blah .. blah blah. Some romantic comedy shit that no one ever understands," She swears. Jinki stops walking and looks at her. Honestly, he didn't know. It was weird hearing it now though. But if he were to look back at it, maybe he did know. Maybe he just ignored it.
"And want to know something really, really funny?"
"Uhm, okay."
"I still like you."
It just happens. They start dating.
Jinki learns how to like her the way in which a boyfriend should like their girlfriend. After a while, in between all the kisses and hugs, he realizes that yeah - he actually does like her. Slowly, the two years in which he dates Sooyeon Jung are seemingly the happiest two years of his life. She's funny and not that kind - but he's okay with that. They go home together one day, a whole week back in their old street for Sooyeon's birthday.
"I celebrate birthday weeks."
"You're kidding, right?"
His mom and dad are happy to see him, if they aren't already ecstatic at the fact that he's dating Sooyeon: the prettiest girl on the block. When they're having dinner at the Jung household Soojung walks out with this smile across her face. It looks like she's trying too hard.
"You really need to stop growing," Jinki kindly informs her with a cheesy grin of his own.
She glares and punches him as she walks by. "I'm sixteen, I can do whatever the hell I want," Except for say hell in front of their parents of course, but it's just Jinki.
"You're sixteen? No way," He mocks, but honestly, he is still surprised to find out she is so young. Okay, not that young, but still.
"And still boyfriend less," Sooyeon adds with a smirk. Soojung kicks her shin and looks back at him, "I know, I'm prettier than I was five years ago. It's okay, feel free to tell me. It isn't that weird."
But it is. Jinki just laughs for a few seconds before completely changing the subject, "So, what's for dinner?"
Sooyeon gets into an argument with her parents that night afterwards. This drifts into half an hour. Which becomes an hour. Which results in, "Jinki, I'm sorry - but could you drive Soojung to her friend’s for tonight?"
He crinkles his nose a bit. It isn't really like he has a choice, anyways.
"So, how far does your friend live from here?"
"Half an hour," Soojung jumps into shot gun and looks at him in the dark.
"Do you have any other friends who live closer?"
"Yeah, but, I feel like Amber needs my company the most tonight," She closes the door and leans back in her chair, looking through the glass door of her house. Her parents are still standing there, arms folded. Sooyeon is there too in the same exact position. In this moment, Soojung can't help but feel a little more mature than her actual older sister.
"They fight like this whenever Sooyeon comes home," Soojung says quietly as he backs up out of the driveway. She enters the address in the GPS system before remembering their radio is broken.
For the next five minutes, the only thing they listen to is the lady's clear cut voice.
Make a left at Spruce Street.
"You were an intimidating kid. Did you know that?" Jinki keeps his eyes focused on the road. "You were intimidating and small. But your features are sharper than your sisters - maybe that is why you look older."
Soojung doesn't say anything for a while.
"You know that day you found me crying?"
"What about it?"
"I don't know. But, I remember you stood there and you stared at me. In the quiet, no words were said at all, and I was eleven and I was crying over the stupidest thing ever - my sister was dating the boy I liked from church, who, ridiculously, was five years older than me. But anyways, you stood there and said nothing at all - and I felt okay. But maybe that's the joy of being an eleven year old: just having someone around makes you feel better. I don't know if it's that way now or anything, I haven't cried in awhile. After that moment though I considered you my friend," Finally Soojung breathes and she bites down on her quivering lip.
He swallows down a lump in his throat that he was not even aware was there. Jinki wants to tell her that he gets it. He really does.
"I like it," Jinki decides to say. "I like that we're friends."
From the corner of his eye he can see Soojung's lips pull into a smile. There's a feeling of content that lingers in the air, an unfamiliar feeling of fluttering in the void parts of his stomach.
"As friends though, I got to tell you. I didn't think my sister was your type. Am I being absurd? But don't get me wrong, I think you guys are the cutest things ever, I just - I don't know. I felt kind of disappointed when I found out you guys were dating."
And he stops at a red light, the silence consuming both of them. Twenty minutes has never seemed longer.
When he drops her off and she gets out of the car he opens up her window before she walks in.
"Soojung?"
"Did I forget something?"
"No. But, I care about your sister. A lot."
She stands in Amber's driveway for another minute or two. Her eyes are faintly lit by the car headlights that only really show the jeans she's wearing.
"I know." But that doesn't mean you love her.
Later in that week, they go drinking.
People may not know it, but Jinki can't really handle his alcohol all that well. After two shots and some fancy margarita, the room is already spinning and Sooyeon is starting to look a lot different. She's drunk too, though. Her giggles are interchanged with hiccups various times and she starts to yell at anyone who won't call her Jessica. Soon, she starts speaking English too. Jinki nods when she starts telling him about some American show called The OC, and "Seth and Summer are SOOO cute," but he has no idea what is actually going on.
"You're cute, Soojung," Jinki whispers in her ear then.
The next thing he knows, Sooyeon has pushed him away. In the wisps and blurs of his vision he sees water rimmed eyes.
In the next, he sees the seat next to him in the bar completely empty.
Sooyeon, please, call me back.
Sooyeon, I am sorry - please, just call me back so we can talk about this. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying.
Sooyeon, this .. is about the third time I have called you within the past two hours. I know you have your phone. Please, call me back.
Sooyeon, I don't know what I can do to make it up to you.
He throws his phone on his bed after that and goes out for a jog. Conveniently, he jogs by her house six times. No one is ever there.
One missed called: Jung Soojung
"I think we should break up." If he says he didn't see it coming, it would be a lie.
It wouldn't stop raining that day. The weather seemed appropriate. Sooyeon looked sad, but not as sad as he would have expected her to be. Then again, Jinki isn't sure. How sad are girls supposed to be when they do things like this? He doesn't want her to be hysteric - but he swears he can almost see a smile on her lips. Jinki doesn't say anything, like most of the times in his life. He's funny, he's charming, but he's quiet and isn't sure of himself. Ever. But when someone's wrong, when he wants something, he fights for it.
He doesn't fight for this.
"I am sorry," But it's not an apology to get her back. He really is sorry. Sooyeon lets out a laugh, it's light and sad.
"I feel like I always knew. Kind of, anyways."
"Knew what?"
"That you had more interest in Soojung," She looks at him carefully. Interest. What a word.
"I'm not saying that you've liked her since we were younger - no, definitely not that. But I just .. knew that you two talked more easily. It was weird, but now, I think I get it. I'm not mad, I could never be mad over something like that. I was disappointed, but after a while, I found out I wasn't that surprised about it. It's five years, that's not a lot. And she's almost as mature - if not more mature than I am. I don't know. But we weren't going to work out, I think you knew it too," Sooyeon grabs his hand one last time. It's not for a melodramatic effect. When she squeezes it, he feels okay. She lets him know that it will be.
"There's something between the two of you that kind of always been there. It's there, but I don't know what it is."
Jinki squeezes her hand back, "Yeah, I don't know either."
Sooyeon's birthday week is over and so is their relationship.
Jinki doesn't say goodbye to Soojung, he only says hello to his college dorm room.
"I missed you, you sorry excuse for a bed," He looks at the striped sheets, knowing that there are rusted springs underneath them. He falls onto it though and within seconds, he falls asleep.
Occasionally, Sooyeon calls him.
Occasionally, Soojung calls him.
He only picks up for the former.
It's this weird sense of fear that instills itself into his very flesh whenever the latter calls. Jinki doesn't know why, but he doesn't know what to say. He lives like this for the next two years and the next thing he knows is that he's twenty three and it's time to go back home. It's time to find an apartment. It's time to live life and find new people, and not think about some icy girl back home. Despite what others thing, Jinki isn't scared to move on. He's scared of what he might be leaving behind. Maybe this, this was growing up.
"Hold on!" He's shoving things into boxes and into bags. The banging coming from the other side of his wooden door is almost violent.
When he swings it open he finds a girl there with her hand formed into a small fist. Jinki's eyes widen, looking down at the girl who he thinks it is but can hardly believe it to be.
"Soojung? What are you doing here?"
"I ran away from home. I'm sorry - I'm so, so sorry."
It happens when you don't do what your parents want you to do - being scared. She's been wiping away at the mascara underneath her eyes that isn't actually there anymore. There's something about her that's changed, how she seems older and how Jinki can't actually wrap his mind around it. Soojung goes on about how she felt suffocated, about how she felt like she needed to get away, about how she missed him. And that's when she stops and catches herself in between some tears and missing her sister that she has just realized what she's said. This is when she's eleven, and he's sixteen - and they're not twenty three or eighteen - but he stands and leans against the wall, and says nothing. For once, besides that memory that Jinki has burnt in the back of his mind, he sees a fragment of what was now becoming what is.
And it's like proving an experiment, one that they're tried to prove for the past seven years.
"Hey," He mumbles and moves closer before he takes the seat next to her. Jinki rubs his palms against the jean fabric on his knees and looks back at her. There are tears streaming down her face, her hand carefully placed over her eyes so that maybe, just maybe, he won't be able to see her. Maybe she'll just vanish.
"Hey," Jinki repeats, moving her hand away from her face slowly. He looks at her carefully, a frown coming across his countenance.
The action is unexpected, but almost as if it was also inevitable.
His lips press against hers, and suddenly, they both feel better.
He's driving them home. Soojung is sitting in shotgun, raven hair falling over her shoulder and her head carefully leaned against the window. It's getting warm outside again, the pale hand of winter nothing but a memory. But there is a hand on his then, fingers small and bony, lingering on top of his own. Jinki tries his best to concentrate on driving, wondering how her parents will react once they know he has her.
"You need to listen to what they say."
"You've got to be kidding me, Jinki," She stares at him.
He shakes his head, "They love you. Your sister argued with them all the time, but finally she learned that. You have to listen."
"Even if they're telling me to go to America for the next two years?"
There's a sudden piercing, an abrupt, dull ache finding itself ringing in his ears. He squeezes her hand lightly.
"Even if they're telling you to go to America for the next two years."
Jinki clears his throat one last time when she hugs him at the airport. She's not crying and neither is he. It's too early for that, but now, they know that they're on the edge of something.
"Please don't let me miss something in America that doesn't exist," Soojung tells him quietly, not wanting to let go.
He lets out this faint, light laugh.
"I'll wait for you." Promise.
"You've waited about seven years for me."
"Two more won't kill me," He presses a kiss against her forehead, fingers tentative and reluctant to release her. Jinki stares at her for another moment, realizing that this is it. This is the girl, the eleven year old girl that he never knew he would feel something for. This is the girl that has made him capable of feeling again - this is it.
And he doesn't expect it, he never expects it, but the last kiss he’ll have from her for the next two years leaves his lips tingling, and it's enough for him to keep on waiting.
"No more chasing pavements. I've found it."
There's a wedding in a certain month, on a certain day, for a certain couple two years later.
Jinki is the best man.
"I know pronounce you, husband and wife," And Jessica and Jonghyun kiss and he catches glimpse of the maid of honor behind her. It's that fluttering feeling again, the one that leaves him quivering and knowing that she's his after all this time. Nine years, and they finally got it right. He's twenty five and she's twenty - and there's a hand extended out to her while a laugh of bliss escapes her lips.
"May I have this dance?" Jinki asks Soojung with a smile that reaches his eyes and makes her heart skip a beat.
She simply laces her fingers with his, "It took you long enough to ask."