aspects of it all
aspects of it all
1350 w, pg-13 (jonghyun-centric, sunny/jonghyun, sojin/jonghyun, seohyun/yonghwa)
the things that make up his life, and how he gets where he is.
i. life is not fair
Honestly, Jonghyun doesn't really get it.
Minhyuk has confirmed that Jonghyun, in the traditional manner, is much more attractive than Yonghwa. But the latter is charismatic and suave while the former is terribly awkward and has a stammering issue. Okay - so maybe Jonghyun does kind of get it, but, nevertheless, he wants someone to like him. Most of his previous relationships (see: Sojin) did not end well. Well, Sojin's ended well because they're still friends and they still call each other, but, in a theoretical sense he is one hundred percent sure if he did end a relationship it would not end well.
e.g. When he ended his relationship with his acoustic guitar from three years ago (i.e. giving it away to his cousin), his cousin set it on fire. She is crazy, but Jonghyun kind of wanted to cry.
Anyways, Jonghyun is not Yonghwa.
Jonghyun doesn't get girls - more importantly, he doesn't get Seohyun. And it is the one thing that he would never admit, but quiet people are attracted to other quiet people, and not to girls like Sunny. At least, not really.
ii. the ex
Sojin tells him that she's actually really popular.
"You know, besides Taeyeon and Jessica and Yoona and Seohyun - well, Sunny is just really popular. She is also really likable and funny, everyone knows that because of invincible youth," She states. It is a fact and anyone who is anyone knows.
Sadly, Jonghyun refrains from watching (or appearing on) variety shows.
"I think you two would be cute together."
"You are like one of those really weird exes, Sojin."
"What?"
"Like the ones that go promote their ex boy friends to date other girls and then when they do - when I do, you'll end up going super sega and kill her or something. Like that movie Obsessed, with Beyonce."
She's not surprised from his blunt answer. He, obviously, does not care for mannerisms. This is why girls like Yonghwa and not Jonghyun.
"Heaven forbid I'm not a bitch."
"Well, yeah. By the way, I still have your mp3 player."
"I still have your virginity."
"God, that was totally unnecessary. I hate you."
iii. the bandmates
"So, why don't you like her?" Minhyuk asks, staring at her picture on some portal website. It's only one of millions, Jonghyun reasons. But, then again, there must also be a lot of pictures of him though. More of Yonghwa though.
Yonghwa is sitting on the couch next to him, leaning forward to stare the the pc screen as well. Honestly, Jonghyun doesn't really know why.
He likes girls like Sojin and Seohyun, and not girls like Sunny. He could vouch for even Sooyoung, maybe, but Jungshin already had claims on her.
"Why did you not try hooking me up with anyone from f(x)?"
"They're all jail bait, except Victoria. And, sorry to break it to you, but Nickhun would pound your face in," Yonghwa says sadly.
Jonghyun just sighs deeply. He wishes people could communicate through sighing or groans or things of that nature - he'd be better off without words. Words, Jonghyun likes to think, are accessories to emotions that no one can pinpoint. Kind of like music, except the latter was closer.
"She's too cute and too short. I can't possibly ever keep up with an energy pill," Jonghyun admits. He is careful to be self-deprecating.
The three of them nod, trying to understand. Honestly, they don't.
iv. what he can't have
Everyone's effort to hook them up together is unbelievably ridiculous, like the fact that Seohyun has time to visit with the SNSD craze.
She looks sexier, but that's probably just apart of the whole new concept thing. No one says anything about it.
"Oh, you like Sunny unnie?" Seohyun asks.
Jonghyun ignores the fact that it rhymes. Of course it's easy for her to ask because apparently a lot of guys like Sunny, because who wouldn't? Her name is Sunny damn it. And not feeling anything for a name as catchy as that is almost considered a sin. Jonghyun has never been religious but he still feels bad.
"I don't know her."
"He monitors her in your performances in Japan," Jungshin says lamely. Jonghyun cringes. Asshole.
But I monitor you too, he stares at Seohyun. She smiles.
Yonghwa scratches the back of his neck, obviously aware on how awkward this is slowly becoming.
"I think a date between the two of them would be good," He offers with an apologetic smile to Jonghyun. He frowns and reminds himself that he actually does hate humanity as a whole. He needs to stop being broody, anger management or something.
"I can make this happen," Seohyun says giving them all hugs and Yonghwa a kiss.
v. communication skills and the lack thereof
She's pretty. Too pretty. It isn't the same way as in Sojin or Seohyun, but it is unfamiliar and kind of captivating to him. Jonghyun tries to stay above his emotions because he does not want to end up liking her for everyone's pleasure. It's true: Jonghyun is just defiant to piss people off. Defiance, he reasons, is only subjective though. But Sunny is an objective person that he can't really seem to read, unlike everyone else. On television she looks loud and in your face, but in person, she seems a bit shyer than that. Quiet, almost.
"I - uh, hey," He sticks his hand out. She shakes it, and, undoubtedly, is able to feel the sweat on him palm.
"You look really nervous," Sunny announces. She doesn't know why they're shaking hands, it is there fourth date after all.
"I haven't seen you in a month or two," Jonghyun reminds with slight overbearing in his voice.
"I've been kind of busy."
He must look tired but she definitely has to be ten times more tired.
"Yeah, Japan is pretty hectic," Jonghyun tries to comfort and pretend like he can relate. He doesn't wear sexy outfits or dance in three inch heels, but he has the general gist of her pain.
Sunny's nose crinkles when she smiles at his efforts, a distinct feature of hers that he has learned to remember.
Sometimes, he pretends like it is something he hates about her, just to get the rest of the band and Sojin off his back.
But he really doesn't. In fact, he really likes it - and oh, what a feeling that was.
But he wasn't sure if he necessarily liked her.
Sunny utters a yawn, "So, what would you like to do today?" She asks. They had planned to go to some concert, sit next to each other, not hold hands, and pretend like they weren't as awkward as everyone made them out to be.
He groans inwardly, "I don't know - but, look, I'm terribly bad at communicating and I'm sorry. And, usually, I know what people are thinking but you - you I am not so sure. I can read Yonghwa, Minhyuk, Jungshin, Sojin, and even Seohyun like a book. You're kind of just .."
" - Do you want to finish that?" Sunny cuts off with an arched brow.
"No, not really."
Sunny takes a pause, one that seems to drag out for forever. Jonghyun counts to twenty six seconds.
"I like you, kind of. But the point is that I do, and honestly, I don't like a lot of people," Is what Jonghyun hears himself saying.
Sunny merely shrugs, in a way to let him know that he hasn't hurt her feelings because she might feel the same way.
"Just take a chance on me," She says with a nod of her head, "And I'll take one on you too."
At the end, life is still unfair. Jonghyun's anyways. He is still not Yonghwa, but, he probably never will be.
But, he does end up with Sunny, the girl he didn't expect to end up with.
That, that is unfair too - in that weird, pleasant way. He's happy, (he's in love), and he assumes everything else is merely contingent.
a/n this is weird. idek.