barely being
barely being
439 w, pg (boa/yunho)
i just need you to be happy, that's all.
We could fall in love. If you would just let it happen, this could be real.
Yunho feels his airways open, the way it opens when the compressing weight is pushed off his chest. They are collapsing within themselves while she is deteriorating. He sits and watches her do so, molecules scattering and mixing with the oxygen around them. She looks sad, sadder, with these invisible lines forming on her forehead. String connectivity, Changmin had told him, string connectivity is what allows you to feel what she feels. Or maybe it was just experience, but Changmin said the former sounded much better.
If Yunho squints, he can see the invisible thread running in between them. But it's too transparent to see where it starts and ends, and the notion of not knowing is vaguely alarming. Only for a second, though.
Boa? Give me a response, please.
I don't have an answer.
You always have answers though. Always.
She looks at him with frowning eyes. There's an endless sense of calmness in the way she gazes off into nothing, like watching water or something. He was waiting for the ripple effect, wondering when he should throw the rock in. The image was too pretty now, much too pretty to disturb. Her shifting away adamantly illustrates the immediate fear.
He hides the hurt and sighs. He is bones, she is flesh, they were and will not be.
Boa draws the full circle in their grounds, except only with a diameter four and a half degrees smaller, and four hundred pounds more suffocating. The fragile earth underneath them has cracks, he reminds himself, like they do. Falling, falling, not deep enough. She can still see above his emotions, even if he has already drowned. Yunho wants to pull her down under too, into the deep blue that has consumed his mind: her lips, his lips, his heart, and her lack of one - it exists, maybe.
I just need you. I need you to wait for me. Can you do that?
How much longer can I wait?
I'm not hiding, I'm waiting too.
Their hearts crash.
Boa, I need you too.
Need me to be what?
Happy.
There's a pause until the silence bores and he's holding her until he's holding himself. The grass underneath them seems lighter, gone, ethereal. The moment is ephemeral, and immediately, they are separated again. Bones, flesh, brittle, frail. They're the same.
You can leave me.
I'll wait for you until I'm gone. Until you're gone.
Don't leave me.
We need each other, I know he whispers.
Suppressing sparks, one more night.
He'll wait until they disintegrate.