a lack of color
sorry i've been so eh. still in writer's block, but drabbles - enjoy!
i never told you
574 w, pg (jessica/krystal, jessica/donghae)
donghae and jessica break up.
Her bed suddenly feels like a sanctuary, the way the covers engulf her every curve.
Empty. Empty. Ehmpuhtee. M. T.
Jessica.
She repeats it enough to herself before they only become figments of words that exist but aren't hers, because they never were. Jessica wonders what actually is hers, and when she comes to settle on nothing, she finds the cotton stomach of her twelve year old stuffed elephant stuffed in her face. She's sinking, maybe drowning, but it's only under fabric and weaved patterns. Her head is still above the sea of life, arms and legs frantically circling, but managing. Jessica maneuvers her head to retreat slowly, like a turtle hiding in a surreal world of blurs and grey. Another disaster could easily cut her off at the knees.
The door opens with a loud creak, heel toe steps approaching in unease. She feels her limbs fidget underneath the covers and her breathing slow, as if she were to close her eyes tighter, she wouldn't be there. She'd just disappear, like air or something mystical like that. There's an excruciating pause of several silent seconds, and Jessica feels herself waiting. She feels herself vanishing. And then - the comforter, her comfort, is torn with one swift movement. She feels impassioned and not cynical enough, not enough to deal with Krystal.
"Soojung, get out," Jessica demands with a stern tone and a crack in her vocal range. Unfortunately, Krystal doesn't miss it.
"Why don't you ever tell me things? She asks, slightly angry, but offended. Jessica figures it has something to do with her pride.
"Because you're my sister," It almost sounds like she's reminding her, fingers grabbing almost urgently at her blanket before pulling it above her eyes. Krystal can see the fading color in the roots of her hair and the perspiration against her forehead. She groans, more inwardly if anything, before blindly hitting at Jessica's hip.
"Have you cried yet?"
"Seriously, go away."
"Move over."
And Jessica does in the way that she knows Krystal will fit perfectly. Krystal lies on top of the comforter, and Jessica can feel her sinking faster than she does herself. It's weird, and it's almost consoling. She tries to keep her eyes closed and expect the moment in which she'll pull the sheets away from her eyes, but that moment never comes. Even through the fabric, Krystal swears she can hear Jessica's heart breaking.
"He wasn't that good of a boyfriend anyways," Is her first try, eyes focused on the speckled ceiling. Krystal can feel Jessica's breathing quicken, and she assumes she's laughing.
"I wasn't a good girlfriend," Jessica retorts too easily. No one says anything after that because Krystal was never one for lying, and maybe it's hurt too much, but Krystal knows it's only a flesh wound. Heart break was like a cut, and it would scar, but the pain would stop. Eventually speaking. Jessica tries to make out Krystal's jaded silhouette through the thin white between them, but she can't. Her knee is touching her thigh, and it's the only thing reminding her that she's there.
"Did you love Donghae?" Krystal asks quietly.
There's an answer in the silence that ensues after, and there is not second try - not for Krystal, at least. Jessica merely feels an arm sling itself clumsily along her waist. After that, she doesn't really feel anything, at least, nothing except wet trails trickling from her eyes.
good for you
275 w, pg (jiyeon/mir)
they're both unknowing.
"Her name is Lizzy or something," Jiyeon whispers before frantically looking around the classroom.
It's almost like this new girl has wings or something, the way everyone stares at her. Personally, Lizzy reminds Jiyeon of a puppy. A cute one, but nevertheless, what human being wants to look like an animal? She feels her heart rate quicken slightly, the sharp edges of her four caged organ seemingly piercing flesh when she catches Cheolyong gawking. She punches him.
"What are you staring at? You pervert," Jiyeon snipes before haphazardly stabbing her pencil dangerously close to his hand. But Cheolyong doesn't notice, not with the way his neck cranes around the tall freak in front of him.
"She's really cute," He chimes with a mischievous smirk. It only grows bigger, into something that Jiyeon hasn't seen in awhile, not ever since his cow died. "Is that a smile?" She mutters with an arched brow.
"Really cute," He reiterates, his personal motivation merely to annoy her until Jiyeon says something along the lines of, I get it, will you please shut up? But he's not really paying attention after that. "Are you jealous?" He asks with a nudge of his shoulder. She just turns to the back pages of her notebook, writing curses and other profane words with scribbles and smudged black ink, until she finally settles on, "I think Joon is starting to look really good now a days."
She doesn't look up, and unknowingly to her, she doesn't see him frown.
"Well, that's good for you."
Later, Jiyeon works on getting Joon's number. When she does get it, Cheolyong doesn't really smile much after that either.
only you can see385 w, pg (lizzy/mir)
cheolyong's cow dies.
"She was a good cow," Cheolyong mumbles under his breath. "A good cow, with a good Ameircan name."
He kicks clumsily at the scattered rocks on the ground. Lizzy can see his fists curled up in his jean pockets, knuckles peeking out through rips in the fabric. She nods her head, looking down at the multiple flowers collected in her hand. There are some weeds, in fact, mostly weeds, but she did manage to find a semi petaled tulip. She scrunches her nose and looks up at the son, squinting through beams of blinding light that she refuses to back down from. She can kind of see tears from her peripheral vision, or maybe it's just sunspots, but she's pretty sure he's crying. She won't hurt his pride.
Instead, Lizzy finds herself grabbing his hand. She doesn't understand, she's never really been attached to an animal, but she tries anyways. "I had this hamster once, and you know, hamsters only have life spans of two years .. and then they just die. So, I named it Hamtaro and I took it out for walks in it's little ball. And then one day, it's time came, and Hamtaro died and .. and I'm okay, so you will be too," She huffs, fingers giving a reassuring squeeze. His hands feel rough compared to hers, but neither of them mind. Neither of them say anything.
"Alison was a good cow, and maybe - well, maybe she's in cow heaven."
"Lizzy, you can't be serious."
She only assures him with a shrug and a smile, and maybe another squeeze, but it then occurs to her that he's actually squeezing her hand. That they're actually holding hands.
"I just loved her, you know?" Cheolyong says, unusually sad.
"Yeah," She straightens out the cotton fabric of her skirt. "I know."
Lizzy holds his hand after that, maybe for the next few hours. They walk like that for awhile, and soon, she places the weeds and tulip down on a grave where Alison isn't really buried, but they're still okay. Because it'll be okay. Cheolyong just slides his hand into his pocket, fingers still laced with Lizzy's.
"Are you still going to cry?" She asks.
He nods, "Yeah, but, at least I have you, and you have a good American name too."