Comments | koushi_works: [FIC] Two Halves - R

koushi in koushi_works

[FIC] Two Halves - R - 962

Mar 28, 2011 07:20

Title: Two Halves
Author: koushi
Pairing: Mal/Saito
Rating: R
Word count: 962
Disclaimer: I do not own Inception or any of its characters.
Summary: A woman who finds her raison d'être. Mal POV.
Warnings: Infidelity, canon suicide/death, questionable mental stability, reincarnation.
Author's note: Somehow inspiration struck... and hit me with a new style ( Read more... )

genre: romance, char: mal, char: saito, genre: dark, fic, char: cobb, rating: r, mal/saito

Comments 9

my_kakistocracy March 29 2011, 06:32:40 UTC

I love your Mal--she's so real. I also like her...I don't know, affectionate disdain for Cobb. Like, Cobb thinks he's so important that he could drive Mal to suicide...he has such an inflated vision of himself.

I can definitely see Mal and Saito as being ~made for each other, much more than Mal and Cobb. I prefer my Cobb being part of the Nash/Cobb OTP, anyway. :P

I like the contrast between this and canon Mal, who seemed so lost and out of control. This Mal had the upper hand all along, she knew what she was doing.

I also like the imagery associated with Mal's reincarnation--the sort of vast scope of the soul transcending space and time for a while, then diving back into it.

You should write more Mal, I like her. I like her much better here than when she was making me shit my pants in the theatre when she turned to look at Ariadne. >:(

koushi March 30 2011, 01:44:08 UTC

I love Mal, too. She is pretty darn amazing if I may say so myself. :3

IDK, I seem to be a huge fan of fate and destiny and all that good stuff, or at least that's what my writing seems to tell me. And yes, a confident, darkly grinning Mal is just... *__________*

Shitting bricks is not fun, no. Especially because they're BRICKS.

kirstenlouise March 29 2011, 16:24:03 UTC

But fifty years gone by in an instant makes you appreciate the weight of time as it crushes your body, hunching your shoulders and buckling your knees. I just wanted to stay standing next to you.

Those lines are so, so lovely. I will never get tired of being inside Mal's head, post-Limbo. There's so much ground that hasn't been covered and so many opportunities for beautiful bits of prose like this.

I really like the new spin you've put on this. This Mal is somehow even more chilling than the one we see in canon and (of course! of course!) I can't resist how you have Cobb in the background, inadequate as ever but so sure he has the ability to make his mark on the world. TL;DR, Mal can just belittle her husband forever, okay?

There's one line in this, though, that I am not especially fond of: "It’s our anniversary: sixty-two, err, twelve years together, poof, in the blink of an eye."I think that the humor, and the colloquial "err" thrown in there, are really at odds with the rest of the piece. It just seems so incongruous. Food for ( ... )

koushi March 29 2011, 22:52:45 UTC

I SEE YOU ENJOY MY TRADEMARK COBB-EMASCULATION. It wouldn't be a koushi fic without it. <3

I am so relieved that you enjoyed this and especially my Mal. I love her so much and definitely hope to write more of her if she decides to hit me with the inspiration stick again. (Saito knows my muse ain't gonna put out.)

I sort of felt like I kept a morbid dark humor throughout because of the silly metaphors like an embarrassing yearbook picture, humiliating jabs at Cobb, and the like, but I guess that wasn't successful. D: Either way, I should probably change "err" to "no." Thanks for pointing that out. :D

MORE MAL/SAITO NEEDS TO HAPPEN, IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. PREFERABLY SEXILY.

hesselives March 31 2011, 05:58:54 UTC

ohh, i do love the contrast between Mal and Saito. ♥ and basically kirsten said everything i wanted to say and more, as always. :D

i really enjoyed such lovely bits as, Your hand rests at the small You trail kisses softly down my jawline and rise up for the final hurrah, lips to lips.

I bear no attachment; it’s merely a vehicle for my soul, an exoskeleton to be shed with as little ado as possible.

koushi March 31 2011, 09:08:59 UTC

Kirsten is such an usurper. BUT IT'S OKAY, I LOVE YOU, MY DREAM-COCK!TWIN.

And I love seeing the parts you enjoyed pointed out. It helps me know what does and doesn't work. XD <333 THANK YOU!

peperima April 8 2011, 23:56:14 UTC

wow, I really like your take on Mal. Her voice in this is incredibly eerie. Thank you for writing this! :)

koushi April 10 2011, 19:35:49 UTC

Thank you so much, bb. <333 I really love attempting characters' voices in first person, I've found. 'Tis fun!

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koushi April 10 2011, 19:58:00 UTC

Your icon is SO beautiful, gah. *_______*

And thank you from the bottom of my heart. This comment makes me indescribably happy.

I pretty much like any variation of Cobb/Mal/Saito except for the only canon version itself (what can I say, I'm a serial rarepairer). :) Limbo definitely throws a kink into the works, making for a really interesting psychological dynamic. <3