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[FIC] Two Halves - R - 962

Mar 28, 2011 07:20

Title: Two Halves
Author: koushi
Pairing: Mal/Saito
Rating: R
Word count: 962
Disclaimer: I do not own Inception or any of its characters.
Summary: A woman who finds her raison d'être. Mal POV.
Warnings: Infidelity, canon suicide/death, questionable mental stability, reincarnation.
Author's note: Somehow inspiration struck... and hit me with a new style ( Read more... )

genre: romance, char: mal, char: saito, genre: dark, fic, char: cobb, rating: r, mal/saito

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kirstenlouise March 29 2011, 16:24:03 UTC

But fifty years gone by in an instant makes you appreciate the weight of time as it crushes your body, hunching your shoulders and buckling your knees. I just wanted to stay standing next to you.

Those lines are so, so lovely. I will never get tired of being inside Mal's head, post-Limbo. There's so much ground that hasn't been covered and so many opportunities for beautiful bits of prose like this.

I really like the new spin you've put on this. This Mal is somehow even more chilling than the one we see in canon and (of course! of course!) I can't resist how you have Cobb in the background, inadequate as ever but so sure he has the ability to make his mark on the world. TL;DR, Mal can just belittle her husband forever, okay?

There's one line in this, though, that I am not especially fond of: "It’s our anniversary: sixty-two, err, twelve years together, poof, in the blink of an eye."

I think that the humor, and the colloquial "err" thrown in there, are really at odds with the rest of the piece. It just seems so incongruous. Food for thought. Other than that, fantastic job! I'd love to see you write more about Mal and Saito's relationship. :DDDDDDDD

koushi March 29 2011, 22:52:45 UTC

I SEE YOU ENJOY MY TRADEMARK COBB-EMASCULATION. It wouldn't be a koushi fic without it. <3

I am so relieved that you enjoyed this and especially my Mal. I love her so much and definitely hope to write more of her if she decides to hit me with the inspiration stick again. (Saito knows my muse ain't gonna put out.)

I sort of felt like I kept a morbid dark humor throughout because of the silly metaphors like an embarrassing yearbook picture, humiliating jabs at Cobb, and the like, but I guess that wasn't successful. D: Either way, I should probably change "err" to "no." Thanks for pointing that out. :D

MORE MAL/SAITO NEEDS TO HAPPEN, IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. PREFERABLY SEXILY.

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